The Firm Grip of Reality
by shortlived
Summary: Fate, destiny, predetermination or coincidence, what brought them back together didn't matter. What mattered is how the galaxy kept coming up with excuses to try and separate them, how hard he could rage against what was trying to be determined. But Thundercracker would win this war, even if against a most mercurial enemy: reality itself. Sequel to Delicate Illusion of Freedom.
1. Pull

It was irony that the reason Thundercracker didn't want to return to the sector was also the reason that he came back. Passing through the spiral arms of the Milky Way, he remained long enough to complete a task that had been almost half a mega-cycle in the making.

He was satisfied with the completion of his self designated assignment. Satisfied that no one, not his wingmates, not his squadron or even Megatron knew of what he had done. By the time anyone figured out his perfidious actions, it would be far too late. There would be nothing they could do. No one would understand why he did what he needed to. And those that did, TC really didn't give a slag. He was prepared for acts of retaliation, and if he needed to, the Seeker would prove once and for all that he did not consider himself among the ranks of the Decepticons. If that message wasn't clear enough by what he had done, by what would soon be revealed.

Thundercracker had been away for even longer periods of time before. But never had he ignored messages, disregarded orders and flat out declined to return. How Starscream could expect him to return to his Trine after everything that had taken place, including the degrading manner in which the Supreme Air Commander had treated him was a further abasement that let TC discern his wingmate's estimation for him, or lack thereof. Secrets were acceptable when kept in their designated places, but he would not allow Starscream to continue to _handle_ him.

He only stayed in touch with Rivet and Skywarp. While Warp only contacted him occasionally, Rivet continued to update and keep him informed of all that he was accomplishing. Something Thundercracker never asked for him to do, but found he couldn't ignore. So it wasn't much of a surprise that the medic was the first to contact him upon his return. Even if the Seeker had thought that such knowledge would have been out of the medic's ability to obtain.

"So you're back." Rivet gave him a small smile through the vid-relay. The Doctor had changed his appearance. His once dull coloring was now a vibrant yellow and green. His body had been slimmed down, multiple rotor blades folded behind his shoulders. The medic was happy with his decision to stay with the humans. The doctor choosing an emergency medial copter as his alt-form, another display of his cheerful acclimation to the planet and those that resided there. Being among them had allowed his optimism to shine through, his past with the Cons to rescind. And while being accepted took the medic many years, the humans held him in high enough regard to allow him to provide health care, to teach others his methods for treatments.

"I am."

"Just in time. I need a favor." He leaned forward. The screen filled with his now vibrant yellow optics before he pulled back. "And before you say no, I should let you know whom it involves. You see…" Rivet went on, and by the time he was through, TC had agreed.

* * *

Landing outside the medical compound, Rivet was waiting there to greet him. The building they stood outside had enough activity that more than a few of the wandering humans stopped to stare. Few ignored the resplendent Seeker. Others scurried along as he directed his attention down at them. His weapons had been deactivated upon his entering the atmosphere of the planet, but Thundercracker could have still done a great deal of destruction. The doctor had vouched for him, armed human soldiers still trailing their every move.

"I told her," Rivet let him know. "She seemed confused." The medic frowned hard, scratched his arm and shrugged his shoulders, causing his blades to momentary bend out. "I still don't understand why you didn't contact her, surely…"

Thundercracker cut him off. Some things would never change, including the medic's excessive inquiries. "I had things to do. She had things to do. End of discussion." His tone was sharp and absolute, despite how the medic had proved himself and was a valuable asset. But his thoughts regarding the female were not for Rivet to decipher.

The doctor only smiled knowingly, not deterred in the least. He examined Thundercracker's heavy stance, the position of his folded over arms, the tautness of his mouthpiece, the danger in his dim optics.

"She talked about you while you were gone, asked about you. I think she even worried about you."

He assimilated that information for a moment. Trying to decide if he should crush the medic's mouthpiece, or investigate further. Let the medic have the small victory he sought though.

"How is she?" TC needed to quell the vibration of Energon that had begun to swell at the further mention of the female.

The medic didn't talk much about Alexis in his communications. When Rivet did, what he said was vague, something he was sure the doctor did on purpose, trying to get him to ask directly. That tactic never worked, no matter how long he debated on asking. But now with her closer, there was no point not making the inquiry.

The medic's subtle smile bent further up, causing creases in his face that seemed to make his facial features appear disproportionate. He stepped closer and lowered his vocals.

"Good. And she hasn't taken another mate." The medic slyly slipped in, answering what TC really wanted to ask, but never would have. "But you might be surprised when you see her."

"Why is that?"

The medic turned smug and pleased, remaining cryptic. "You'll see." His blades extended and he folded into vehicle mode. The human guard backed a good distance away. "Follow me. I will take you to her. She's expecting you."

An uneasiness made his servos uncommonly tremble, made his vocals shut down. A burst of energy followed that rattled under his spark chamber, instilling him to follow.

* * *

Thundercracker located her long before they landed. Alexis still lived with the rest of her family. She wasn't at the residence when they landed. His sensors recognized her signature about a mile and a half off. Alexis was walking, following a path until his optics were able to identify her. She was carrying a small basket and someone was with her.

He didn't focus on that though. His optics seared on the female that he had wanted to see, but had been so determined not to. Thundercracker knew what the medic had been talking about the moment Alexis unexpectedly halted in her steps, mouth opening slightly before her shoulders lifted and she continued to walk toward the two mechs.

Her hair was shorter, her skin hale, her eyes once more vibrant with a light that spoke volumes of recovery. But she hadn't aged in the least. Alexis was more exquisite than he could have ever recalled. And that already stirring sensation that made his servos flex and his spark vibrate increased when her eyes settled on his optics, making his mainframe ignite.

The years that had passed before seeing her again, everything he had done and accomplished, felt _insignificant_. When Alexis was near, she was the purpose for his existence. Thundercracker had been haunted by her every moment he had been gone, every day, every cycle. He had rendered her more times than anyone of before. The digital, lifelike sketches that had sustained him, never able to catch the vibrancy of the actual person. But that didn't stop his digits from tracing the familiar paths of her digitized form when he was done, from rendering more.

Putting stuff down on the porch, Alexis put her hand out, a smaller one taking hold.

"You're here," Alexis spoke to Thundercracker, glancing over his form as if she couldn't quite resolve in herself that he was there. Swallowing hard, a glance spared at Rivet, something unsaid exchanged between the two. Rivet nodded his head. "This is Thundercracker, Aaron," she continued, looking proud and suddenly at ease as she spoke of the person below her. "Thundercracker, this is my son, Aaron Xavier Aih."

Bright yellow-green eyes locked onto his optics. The youngling scanned the Seeker, clear eyes lingering on the areas where his weapons were stored. A small brow lifted when his examination found the Decepticon symbol.

"He's a Decepticon, mother," Aaron informed Alexis, neither nervous nor scared just stating a fact. "Are you sure he's one of the good ones?"

Alexis nodded her head. "He is." Alexis smiled softly at Thundercracker, making the strangeness of him being called _good_ dissipate. An involuntary step was taken closer to the female whose uplifted mouth made his internal cabling twist and pull and violently knot.

" _Must we travel with him_?" the youngling inquired, now in the Vildan language. " _He smells different_." Aaron's attention swept down the Seeker, once more analyzing him.

Thundercracker did the same. Aaron was lanky, probably considered tall for his age, of, what he realized was six years. His skin was pale with undertones of scarlet and fine patterned lines. He had dark raven hair and small pointed ears. He had his mother's mouth and had seemingly inherited the Vildan disposition.

" _And what have I told you about that_?" Alexis asked of her son, her words not in English either but the language of her departed husband. He had the sudden interest of hearing her speak Cybertronian, even if it was biologically impossible, even if she could only ever hope to learn the basics. His optics locked on her moving mouth, then the soft expanse of her neck.

" _Not to judge people by how they smell_."

Alexis laughed at that, a wide smile dominating her face from her son's factual tone. Aaron lit up, his chin lifting with pride. She hugged him tightly.

"Take the plants inside, will you?" She pointed to the house behind them. It had at least three visible additions that had been done over the years. A diverse garden of flowers, herbs, and bushes lined the front of the house and led up along the pathway to the door. "I need to talk to Thundercracker."

"Okay." He directed a sternly defiant look at the Seeker. "Should I let uncle know that a Decepticon is here? He has been wanting to test his new trippqen rifle."

"Not like that, jelly bean."

Aaron picked up the basket, gave another glance toward the medic, then a lingering stare at the Seeker that Thundercracker felt compelled to return. Neither looked away.

"Be sure to get something to eat. There is a sandwich in the fridge."

"Yes, mother."

Alexis turned back around after her son disappeared inside the house. Now that her attention was off her son, she seemed a little flustered.

"It's strange to see you again, Thundercracker." She bit her lip and frowned. "And I wouldn't ask for your help, if it wasn't important. If it wasn't so hard trying to get transportation to where I need to go. Are you still able to give me a ride to Renth?"

Alexis pushed her short hair behind her ears, fidgeted a little. Adorned in simple pants and an attractive one-sleeved shirt that rustled with the light wind, her pale skin glistened under the sun above. If he hadn't been going to that sector, TC would have been now. His optics rested on the conjugal band that was still wrapped around her arm, his processor taking off in a whirl of activity as he tried to decipher what that could possibly mean.

He crashed those investigative protocols, knowing the answer would hardly benefit him, knowing her reasons would have mattered too much.

"I am going to be in that area anyway. If you wish to accompany me, I have no objections," he told her, his tone flat and sounding disinterested, even to his receptors. Things were uncomfortable between then, even worse than that, strained. But she was willing to travel with him and able to request his help, and that took part of the undefinable edge off.

Alexis swallowed hard and peered up at him. "Then we can leave tomorrow. If that is okay with you? I still have some things that I…"

TC interrupted, "Fine. I will have one of my men come for you with a shuttle."

"Okay. Good. _Great_." She let out a long sigh. Her eyes were focused on him and hadn't left. "I really didn't expect to see you again. Not after not hearing from you in so long..." Alexis dropped her own words, shook her head. She turned to the medic.

"Rivet, I wanted to talk to you before you leave. Do you have a moment?"

The medic gestured toward TC and then waved his hand in the direction they had come from.

"Let me show…"

"I can find my way back," TC informed the two, wondering when the two had become such friends. Remembering, that he had been her medic during her pregnancy, was there when her son was born and had seen him grow.

More than could be said about Thundercracker.

* * *

Alexis, Sharaih, and her son had been settled on his ship for three days already. Traveling to Renth would take weeks. Finally getting a good look at the Vildan female now that she no longer wore her face veil, he found her to be different than expected. She still watched him, but no longer tried to keep him from interacting with Alexis.

He had forgotten how whole his ship felt when Alexis was on board. How balanced his existence felt. Cleaning out and reformatting a storage compartment, the three resided there with more amenities than they would ever need. But the thought of providing for Alexis, no matter how short a time frame, roused his systems in a pleasing disarray that only the female was capable of inducing.

But things were still stiff between he and Alexis, even awkward at times. And sometimes he would catch the female staring at him, a glimmer of unspoken resentment coloring her eyes a darkened green. She wanted him to leave all those years ago. But perhaps she didn't want him to disappear as he had, nor as long as he did.

What would she have thought if she knew he never meant to come back? What would Alexis say if she knew he never wanted to leave her? Not back then, not now, not ever again? He had been entirely determined not to see her again, knowing that Alexis did not want him, nor need him, and he could no longer face that decision she made, not rationally.

And yet here they were. But only because she needed to get to her husband's homeworld, for reasons she had yet to explain. Alexis was preoccupied with her son, watching over him, feeding him, teaching him. And they played together, filling his ship with laughter and happiness and a joy that only family units would have been capable of creating.

Thundercracker could resent her as well. Never forgetting that his willingness to take care of her and her family, to assist in raising the half human, perhaps not as his own, but with extreme care, had been rejected. And while he understood her reasoning, that didn't stifle the pangs of dismissal.

Aaron was so much like his mother. Unique, strange, but with a goodness, a blatant curiosity, and an intelligence that had already astounded him twice. He'd never had a sparkling before. But in the youngling he saw so many missed opportunities and experiences.

He could have never given Alexis a child. But the way she loved her son, protected him, looked out for him and nurtured him, made him crave a reality with her that he could never provide. TC found her independence more frustrating than beneficial. And knowing he had no future with her left the Seeker astoundingly bereft for things he'd never have. Alexis always did evoke anomalous emotions from him, affect his cold logic and tear through his core programming.

His life had been so much more orderly before her, so much simpler before he had been capable of sentiment and yearning.

Working on the remote access relay that allowed his ship access to the Decepticon made jumpgates, he still felt when Alexis entered the engine room. He continued with the task at hand, a delicate task that required his full attention. But he felt Alexis staring at him, couldn't shake the feel of her eyes, nor the loud exhaled breath that parted from her mouth.

She slowly came toward TC, stopping a couple of feet short of him. "You're… you're so _small_." Alexis breathed out, her mouth provocatively parted, her thick gaze on his reduced Cybertronian body.

"Compression chamber," he stated calmly. He had always been able to mask what he thought and felt, to displace and bury his emotions. He had to with his emotional wingmates. One of them needed to remain objective and undisturbed. And even if the three Seekers were intimately bonded as only a Trine could be, he still managed to keep a part of him hidden from the two, a required necessity in order to survive in such an environment.

With Alexis though, all those mega-cyles of self-induced restraint, of effortless detachment, warred with one another, making his responses to the female unexpected and unplanned, no matter how much he tried to prepare for them.

She bit her lip, and it took her a moment to process what he said. By the time she did, the female had moved two steps closer. His analytical systems spiked, his sensors desperate to expand their minimal scan of the female.

"What?" Alexis asked, wanting more information.

"Compression chamber, it allows me to contract my overall size. How else do you think us Cybertronians managed to fix, or even install such small components?"

She stepped closer. He was still taller than the female, but now, for the first time, without him becoming human, they were relatively the same size.

"Forced labor?"

This time it took him a moment to respond. Were her eyes always _that_ green? Was her scent always so compellingly potent? Her mouth so soft and full? He could see the reddened tendrils mixed through her brown hair, the tiny pores on her porcelain flesh. Being on her level made his scanners more clear, no longer distorted with over processed data.

"Slaves?" he spoke with repugnance. The tool fell out of his hand when she stepped impossibly nearer.

"Yeah." She allowed a small frown to peak through, her chin lifting up to meet his eyes.

"Truly unnecessary," he rasped out.

"I see."

Alexis was distracted by her own curiosity. So distracted that she didn't notice that he had moved closer and that she was now backed against his workstation. Her gaze swept slowly along his form.

"Does it hurt?" She brought her hand up and in front of his shoulder panel, barely touching him before drawing back.

"Sometimes."

"Does it hurt now?" The female tilted her head and wet her mouth, making his focus sharply drift.

"No."

Her touch was back, mesmerized by the Decepticon symbol. Fingers brushed along the front of his wing, causing his whole body to jerk, for festering desire to catapult a most disturbing sound out of his mouthpiece.

Alexis' flesh colored, but she didn't back away, even as her hand fell solidly along her side.

"Did that hurt?"

His right optic ridge lifted, his spark rattled within its chamber, shadows of her touch still resonating on the sensitive flesh of his wing. His optics found her eyes. His hand caught her own. Thundercracker didn't move closer, but he didn't back away. Alexis lifted her other hand up in the air, and it took a moment to realize what she wanted. Lifting his arm up, he pressed his flat palm against her own.

"Same size," she said, fascinated.

"I'm still larger."

Alexis smiled at that, eyes falling down his body only to rise back up when she realized what she was doing. She blushed. "Yes. You _are_." Alexis got up on her tiptoes, looking directly into his optics. And then she moved away from him, rounding around his body, her eyes on his wings that had instinctively folded outward and up during her acute attentions.

"Can you still fly?" she asked of him, ever eager.

"I can," he answered, his low-pitched tone revealing just how much her curiosity was disturbing him.

Thundercracker wasn't one for spontaneity. So he startled more than just Alexis when his thrusters ignited. He grabbed to Alexis, lifting them off the ground. She clung to him, looking below on the deck then back at him. Her fingers tightened around his neck, her body snug against his own.

" _Wow_."

It wasn't the word, but the way she said it as she looked at him with awe that made a smug smile stretch his mouthpiece with satisfaction.

"Hold tighter."

" _Why_?"

Alexis didn't need an answer when he twisted them around and lifted higher up, when he took off in a rush of speed that made her wrap her legs between his own, her heart thumping soundly against his chassis.


	2. Adjust

Living on their newly chosen planet, Alexis and her family had adapted and gotten back to the basics. Taking money out of the equation had simplified things, made trade more relevant, having skills, beneficial. And while the Autobots provided many things to help them survive, including knowledge, they did not interfere with their daily lives.

Unless aid or equipment was requested, the settled humans were essentially on their own. The planet was quiet, was dangerous, and still vastly unknown. Getting used to the strange dry weather that could easily change toward cold and damp was not so bad since there were many weeks in between that were temperately pleasant.

Plants grew faster and bigger, flowers were more colorful, the untainted soil of the planet providing rich nutrients that sustained their small crops that had gradually gotten bigger as they became familiar with the planting and harvesting.

There were not many on the planet when Alexis had arrived. Now there were thousands, the population expanding as word got out over the years.

But her main diversion after coming to the live on the planet had been her pregnancy. An odd pregnancy, but not a difficult one. Although during the third trimester, her unborn son was tapping so much of her body heat that Rivet had to resort to some resourceful manners in order to keep her warmed. She'd never been so cold in her life. A sacrifice Alexis willingly paid for the health of her child.

Years passed and her tiny baby grew into a toddler and then her baby boy. Aaron began to walk and speak much sooner than other children. He also learned quicker, perceived things that were beyond his age, and his intelligence always reminded Alexis of his father. It wasn't that Aaron didn't get along with the other children, but that he didn't seem to fit in with those of his age group. He was such a serious child, a contained child. But he was thoughtful and kind and so beautiful that every day that she shared with him and that he called her mother, Alexis' grief lessened, and her joy grew.

But she had reached a point where she knew she needed help, guidance of Vildan males. Her niece had given the basic knowledge, but as she was a female, Sharaih really didn't know how males of the Vildan species were nurtured and taught.

Aaron always did everything she told him to. He never argued, never made excuses, never told her to give him a moment. He was obedient to a fault, truthful to a frightening degree, and just recently had growth spurts that left him shockingly strong, his senses enhanced, including the perception of odors and scents.

There was only so much the Vildans would share with Rivet, and while they had been helpful enough during her pregnancy, they were not so obliging now.

They only gave her one option: return home to her husband's family. Her life had continued because of her son, her life _was_ her son. But while making the decision was easy, finding a way back to Renth was not.

And then Thundercracker returned.

* * *

Her brother provided spiritual guidance, his wife made beautiful practical clothes. Her niece could absorb languages and teach them to others and provide interpretation. While, for the first year, Alexis had been busy with her pregnancy, afterward she began to help Rivet catalog all the various animals and plant life. He taught her how to use the equipment brought with them. She learned what was poisonous, what was edible and what was medicinal. Finding out these things was highly rewarding and beneficial. Alexis had always been good at organizing and at research. And while she had some luck growing things on Earth, now she knew what was needed for crops to survive, how to turn flowers into soothing fragrances, plants and herbs into medicines, ointments and seasonings along with other fascinating things as she learned the nature of botany. Proving that learning about the new planet was essential, helpful in survival.

She and Rivet worked together until he became busy teaching medical skills. Glad to see him fitting in when so many had made such an effort to isolate the medic, her continued research started slow as she adapted to working on her own. Alexis' learning had been awkward and sometimes painful, until she found a routine that worked for her, that made things so much smoother. Things becoming somewhat easier when two others eagerly joined in not much later.

When her son was three, he began to go on treks with her to find new specimens. The planet didn't have many dangerous animals, but she still scanned the area before they left each day, a neighbor keeping her company and helping watch over her son.

By the time Aaron was five, the planet's research group had expanded to a healthy extent, giving her leave to explore more and to go farther, to focus on making new discoveries rather than researching.

There was something about discovering something new that always excited her. Something about learning about the planet first hand that she _loved_.

* * *

Seeing Thundercracker again made memories resurface, made her remember things she hadn't thought about in a long time. Alexis wasn't angry that he never contacted her. After all, by the time she had even thought to contact him, too much time had passed.

She didn't really think she would see him again, but still found herself thinking about him sometimes, during moments of quiet, during moments of chaos, when things went wrong, when things got better.

Alexis never respected him more than when he left her to live her own life. And knew when she saw him again that she would always feel _something_ for him. He was familiar, yet different. Was distant. But she liked the way he looked at and talked to her son, and couldn't discount that he was taking her back to Renth, a journey she had almost given up on.

He wasn't as standoffish as he had been after she lost her husband or his arrival on the planet Refuge. His turnaround on his ship was astonishing. TC now had no problems occupying her personal space, of touching her, of dispersing personal comments. It wasn't until she was curled up in bed, their exchanges played back, that the way he was with her took on a whole new meaning.

There was, she couldn't deny, however tenuous, a pull between them, an attraction.

He had an authoritative air to him that appealed to her, a grace to his movements. He was somberly impressive, yet when his mouth curled upward, her heart would race as she tried to recall ever seeing him smile when she knew him from before.

She liked him. Alexis could handle liking him. But what came after was what distressed her.

"Is it loaded?" Alexis motioned toward the dog in question. Terra stood below TC's peds, her tail waging with excitement from the personal attention she was getting. Her son had talked Thundercracker into showing them Terra's "upgrades". The dog had armor that seemed to pour out of the thin brackets on her paws and neck, a dangerous looking weapon that folded out onto her shoulder.

"No," Thundercracker responded to her question. He motioned toward Aaron that it was okay for him to approach the dog. He did, his hands touching the metal of her armor as it retracted back into the metal bracelets.

"Is this bio-electronic technology?" Aaron directed his question toward the Seeker, his hands now pressing against the thin metal on Terra's right paw. Alexis was ready to pull Aaron back, unsure how the dog would react to such handling. The animal was a trained weapon, another danger in an already dangerous environment. And like her owner, a paradox rendered from benign mannerisms, from a gentleness that made one forget of the warrior within.

"It's fine," Thundercracker told her, somehow knowing what was on her mind. His optics lingered on Alexis long enough for her to become self-conscious, before his attention moved to her son.

"Nano-implants, but yes, biotech was used here," Thundercracker told her son, obviously impressed by his knowledge. His optics fell back onto her, holding onto her eyes with unfiltered regard. Alexis moved her attention to Aaron, still overwhelmed by his shows of attentiveness.

"Did it hurt?" Aaron wanted to know, now rubbing the dog's nose before scratching behind her ears.

"It did not."

"How do you know?"

"Because I designed the devices myself."

"Did you test them on _yourself_?"

"I did not."

Aaron frowned, his mouth turning heavy. He gave his mother a look, stood to his feet and spoke stiffly, "Then how do you know it didn't _hurt_?"

Thundercracker angled his head along his shoulder, optics dimming momentarily. "Her bio functions were recorded during the process. Terra showed no signs of stress, physical or otherwise. If you desire, I can show you the test results."

"Now?"

The Seeker focused on Aaron for several long moments, as if to decipher him. His mouth curled up on the right side.

"Yes. If your mother joins us."

"Because you want her to like you? Or because you want to try to impress her?" Aaron asked, showing off one of his brilliant but rare smiles. "A waste of time. You have already managed both. But you are _not_ my father," he truthfully told the Air Commander.

Thundercracker stiffened, wings twitching behind his back. His hands clenched, his arms folding over his cockpit and then dropping. This was the first time the three had spent some time together, but was not the first time that her son had been so forthright.

"No, I am _not_ your father," Thundercracker replied far too easily, something in his tone making Alexis internally shiver, as if he was trying to say something else entirely.

* * *

"Do you plan to live on Renth?"

Her son fast asleep, she wandered the ship. Alexis found Thundercracker alone on the bridge. He had been at the console checking their progress, the now familiar starcharts enlarged. She used to check their progress all those years ago when he had been taking her back to her family, when she had been paranoid and distrusting.

She looked over the screen at the path they were taking. Somehow she had gotten back into the habit of checking their progress. Alexis could have gotten the same info in her quarters. But his was far more detailed, the holo-emitters capable of much more. The two talked sometimes, but mostly he just told her of where they had traveled through, of the path they were taking. Tonight though, Alexis somehow knew, was different.

"For now."

He dimmed the screen, turned around and motioned toward a ramp that led up toward the console. She walked slowly, sitting down carefully where he indicated. Alexis was mindful of his optics on her, the steady hum of equipment, of other things that made her forget to swallow.

"Do you still have trouble sleeping?" he asked of her, the cadence of his tone far too pragmatic to be the truth behind his thoughts.

Alexis shook her head. "That went away after Aaron was born."

"Your son, he is… _different?_ "

"Yes. He's brilliant and perceptive and beautiful and far too aware of so many things at his age," Alexis gushed. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I want to be a good parent. I have tried. But I don't know if how he is acting is normal, or I have done something wrong, or if I am just not enough for him. Having an uncle isn't the same as a father."

"And yet you remain unmated."

Her son was not the only one who could be direct. Over the years, she did have opportunities, Alexis supposed, but nothing she pursued. No one measured up to Airaih, no one ever would.

Sitting there with Thundercracker, Alexis had an odd moment of feeling like no time had gone by at all, like she could and wanted to tell him everything. Wanting that was a dangerous instinct that could have grown if nurtured, consumed her if focused upon.

Thundercracker didn't intrude or push himself on her. He was seemingly unassuming and yet so hard to ignore. And the way he treated her son was kinder than some of her own species. Prejudice had not been taken away as Earth had, certain mindsets not erased. But there were so many that were still good and kind, so many that _cared_.

"And your purpose remains your son."

She smiled softly. Her heart warmed as it always did when thinking of Aaron. TC's optics momentarily blazed. He leaned forward and then slowly pushed himself back when he realized what he was doing.

"Yes."

"And that is why you are returning to Renth," he stated. Not asking, not prying, giving her the opportunity to tell, if she felt inclined to.

"Yes."

Alexis wanted to spill all. But she had spent so much time away from him, and that seven-year gap made her understand the distance between them. But he still seemed to understand her, far more than he should have been able to.

She was conflicted by what she felt toward the Seeker, resolved that she didn't have to be. They would part soon.

"I left to get away from you," Thundercracker suddenly spoke up, his fierce inflections making her freeze, her chin involuntarily lift. His dark optics trapped her eyes. "I left _for_ you," he added as if wanting to tell her something, but was only prepared to infer. "The years meant nothing though, not to me, except that every day, every _cycle_ , I thought of you."

Alexis ignored the rapping of her heart against her chest, steadied her suddenly frazzled nerves, buried the feeling of being sick, of being happy, of being so unsure.

When she spoke, her calm words were in far contrast to the terrible twisting of her gut, "I thought of you too. I prayed for you as well."

"You life has been tolerable?" he asked of her, turning so austere that it took her a moment to reply.

"Yes." She swallowed hard. " _Yours_?"

"Productive," he answered, frowning tightly.

"Productive? That's… _good_?"

"It was manageable," he answered cryptically.

Alexis kept her face straight as long as she could, only to start laughing. His severe continuance softened, his mouth curling upward.

The knot in her gut twisted harder.

* * *

"Do you plan to take him as your provider?" Sharaih asked of Alexis. The two were performing warm up exercises. It took years to unravel her niece, a long time to find out how Sharaih had been so close to her departed husband.

Airaih had taught Sharaih how to fight, an unorthodox teaching that had stopped when her niece reached her age of maturity. But ten years had been enough to create a bond between them that was as atypical as the fact that a male had trained her.

"That's impossible," Alexis told her niece, her friend.

"You with my uncle should have been impossible, me being trained by him as well. _Aaron_ should have been impossible." The female smiled softly, enough for the gesture to reach her eyes. "Impossible, however, is just another thing to overcome, to conquer. You have always held an affinity toward the Seeker." Sharaih bent her hands behind her neck, stretched her back and spine up. "And he desires you."

"I think he regrets seeing me again. I don't think he wanted to see me again," she clarified. "I shouldn't have asked him to…"

"Thinking too much," her niece interrupted. "You know that only leads to stress and making things more difficult than they need to be." She straightened out, arms crossing over her flat chest. "Do you want him or not?"

Alexis didn't have to think about that. She said what she had already convinced herself of after seeing and spending time with him again. "I respect him. I might even trust him, but what you are asking involves more than me."

"So your answer _isn't_ no," Sharaih spoke with a bit of smugness that Alexis would have never identified if not for getting to know her better.

"I almost forgot."

"About?"

"How much I liked him. How much I cared. But he is, and I am… and _Aaron_ … it's just too complicated," Alexis tried to dismiss.

Her niece rounded her hand behind her back, staff weapon grabbed from the holder on her hip. The rod extended, a flash of her wrist making the weapon spin with a burst of speed. She continued with the maneuvers, quickly going into more advanced positions and thrusts when Alexis joined in.

"You also forget..." Sharaih spun around, facing Alexis as their staffs struck and stilled. "...You like certain complications, you like figuring things out and understanding why. But it's not just complications we're talking about here, but diversity. And we both know, that for you, that just makes certain people more interesting, more worthwhile."

Alexis certainly couldn't argue with that logic. Fortunately she didn't have to as their warm-up turned into a vigorous match. And even if her niece won yet again, at least her complicated thoughts upon the Seeker were momentarily forgotten.


	3. Resolve

When Thundercracker had done his research on Earth, he had also looked into the psychology of the creatures. They had, as a species, changed so much in the last century. As their population increased, so did the violence, the disputes, the wars. They ignored the teachings of their forefathers, even went as far as to fight over the very ideologies their cultures were based on and been created over. The humans disputed over freedoms, over the way someone was supposed to act and look like, argued over what they believed in, how they were supposed to love, greed and lust for material things encouraged, even profited on.

For a _free_ world, they had enough rules, prejudices, fears and hatred to span three planets, had enough resources that could have been used more beneficially.

If the Decepticons never arrived, they would have surely annihilated themselves. Most certainly over something trivial. If not that, then created a destructive device that ended their civilization.

TC had seen species do it before on worlds that had been less advanced than Earth, and even less inclined toward such unbarred thinking as the humans.

His time on Earth had allowed Thundercracker to see the humans at their worst. Gave him the opportunity to understand them more in what they didn't do, then by what they did. But he also saw sacrifices made, lives laid down for others, small acts of kindness that disputed all the rest of the ugliness, such endurance despite the struggling, the pain, the suffering.

They were a contradictory species.

Humans found strength when giving up would have been easier. Their unending rebellion not dying out despite their multiple defeats, despite the numerous deaths. They did it for families, for friends, to hold onto a planet that had already been taken away from them.

They did it mostly for love.

Thundercracker didn't understand love, not in the terms the humans used, not with seeing what they did because of it, or the lack thereof.

At least he didn't all those years ago.

He did now.

Alexandra was the epitome of everything he now felt concerning such things. She was what he wanted yet still didn't fully understand, a hope that he couldn't extinguish.

She was chaos.

She was peace.

She _was_ love.

And knowing that is what made things all the worse, made the tragedy of being around her again escalate toward a needed barrier of wavering indifference that made his spark spasm.

* * *

"I've never seen Treno branches this big and full before." Alexis waved one of the branches in the air, fingers moving down the soft fuzzy leaves. "This isn't easy to find on Refuge. And even when I did find it, there was never enough." She placed the Treno branch down with the other carefully gathered plants and herbs. She picked up a rounded fruit and took a cautious bite. Smiling wide, Alexis took another small bite before handing it to Aaron. "It's sweet and crisp. It's delicious."

Aaron took the provided fruit, eating it slowly. He glanced up at Thundercracker.

"You do not eat," the youngling stated. "I enjoy eating."

 _That_ Thundercracker could attest to. Aaron could put more away then his mother. He wasn't as selective in what he consumed as either of the two females, seemed to have no dislikes when it came to food, which was both interesting and sometimes, with what he ate, humorous in the outcome.

"I can consume Energon," Thundercracker spoke, his optics watching his mother who was busy taking pictures and writing down her findings on a tablet. Alexis had an energy rolling off her, a pleased enthusiasm that made her eyes shine.

Two more days and they would be on Renth. Two more days and he would be alone, his ship would feel empty and his thoughts would still be of her.

Or perhaps that is how Alexis would have preferred it. She made a mistake though. The Seeker had seen glimpses into her life and then entered it again, had spent time with Alexis and her family over the weeks traveling, had enough time to realize and come to terms with solidifying truths.

She should have saved up for an alternative method of travel no matter how long it would have taken, shouldn't have involved him at all if she believed it would be so _simple_ to let him go all over again. Thundercracker should have left her to her own devices, never got involved again. Should have remained faithful to his original decision of never seeing her again.

But it was far too late for that.

While the Seeker tried to stay away from her, he ended up seeing her more. The side trip they had taken to planet Grenol was the newest example. But he knew the over abundance of lush foliage and plants on the planet would have appealed to Alexis, and the desire to please her could not be overridden.

Truly, he never felt more doomed.

Being with her was self-inflicted punishment, was an enchantment beyond all others. And spending time with Alexis and her son left him with a persistent longing for desperate inclusion.

He saw Alexis in Aaron, saw mannerisms, heard familiar phrases used, other influences and genetic traits passed down that were all hers along with unexplored potentials. He even saw glimpses of her husband in the youngling, his physical appearance, his obvious Vildan heritage, the controlled manner that gave glimpses of more from subtle emotive behaviorisms.

Did Alexandra think of her departed mate every time she looked at her son? If the Vildan didn't die would they have ever seen or even spoken to each other again? Just how much was Aaron like his father? What attracted her to such a species, to such a male?

The questions halted when droplets pattered down on TC's face and slid down his optics. Alexis turned off her tablet, put it back in a protective pouch and gathered her plants inside a metal case specially made for the organic samples she had obtained. The droplets increased into more abundant sprinkles. Alexis stood, closed her eyes and allowed the rain to fall on her. Aaron joined his mother, his small hand holding on to hers.

She smiled and opened her eyes. Grabbing onto Aaron's other hand, she spun then round and round, not stopping until the youngling begged her to stop, laughing soundly. The sound was startling, but not surprising, Aaron was far more animated when he was around his mother, his emotions near prolific. Something Thundercracker could identify with. She was the reaper of his own buried sentiment.

The two lightly fell on the grassy ground, Aaron scooting closer to his mother, his head resting on her arms as the two continued to watch the rain fall for several more minutes until the thunder began, until TC insisted they leave. While the rain was harmless, the planet's storms could be destructive.

Storing their things away, they climbed up into his cockpit. Aaron sat on his mother's lap, and yet still the cabin was cramped, despite his prior adjustments.

Buckling them both in, Alexis smiled at his instrumentation.

"Thanks, Thundercracker. You were right. The planet is beautiful! Sharaih really missed out. Why the plants alone…"

"I don't recall calling it beautiful," TC interrupted and corrected the female.

Alexis wrinkled her nose, shifted slightly, her wet body sticking to his seat. She blushed, grabbed a cloth and started to dry her and her son off. Her head fell forward, she frowned tightly.

"Visually pleasing," she relented, the word usage causing a discomfort in the female that made Alexis bite down on her mouth and wipe her eyes off.

"We'll be back to my ship in twenty minutes," he told her, suddenly feeling the need to distract her.

She nodded her head, frowned a little, then seemed to bypass whatever memory or thought had been trying to erupt inside her head. "Do you mind if I take my boots off?"

"It's permitted."

Thundercracker really didn't think she would be able to, not with what little room she had to work with, but Alexis managed, even got her son's shoes off as well. Aaron was sound asleep by the time she was done.

"Thanks for taking us," Alexis whispered.

"You already thanked me."

"I know."

"It was just a _really_ good day…. _Thundercracker_?"

"Yes?"

She leaned to the side. They cut through the atmosphere, stars twinkling in the distance, two moons brightening the blackness.

Several long minutes passed before she spoke again, her words were hushed, filled with awe, "I almost forgot you could become a jet. Silly isn't it?"

"I don't find my ability to transform a topic for humor."

Alexis rolled her eyes at him, chuckled lightly.

"You know what I mean."

"Yes," he admitted.

"Are you just needling me so I tell you how remarkable that is?" Alexis' fingers rested on the front of his panel. Another smile was flashed his way. She adjusted her damp jacket, pushed the hood back and combed her fingers through her wet hair. "I'm almost jealous."

"I prefer you the way you are, no more, no less."

"That's an odd thing to say."

"The planet below is not the only thing that is visually pleasing."

The blush that followed accentuated the truth in his words.

* * *

Alexis and her family had been on Renth for exactly eight hours. It wasn't until the tenth hour that the Seeker was given permission to enter her household.

The house he found himself inside was quiet and large and tastefully ornamental. He hadn't needed a reason to be human in a long while, but found the adjusted to such a state of flesh far quicker than he had calculated.

Without wings though, he still felt off. And it wasn't until he took his first step on the staircase and stumbled that he realized his adjustments were not quite complete.

Sharaih was waiting patiently for him at the top of the landing. Her face was once more covered by a thin veil, her clothes had been changed, her shoes as well. She stared at him for a long time before she spoke.

"They want her to choose another provider. They have already given her a list of potential males," Sharaih told him, her voice contained.

Something must have flashed over his face because the female took a step back and cleared the way, deciphering his intentions.

"She's up on the roof. Follow the stairs, go through the third door on the right and go on up. She's _alone_."

He didn't know nor care why the female was telling him this. But the idea that Alexis had returned to take another mate made his steps more secure and his pace a quickening one.

He couldn't allow it.

* * *

She was alone as Alexis' niece had said. Alexis was studying some sort of plastic printouts, her face unreadable. Alexis pushed one of the sheets behind the bundle in her hand, read the next.

He didn't mean to but he was able to read the top of the page. It was backwards, eight feet away, yet highly discernible under the bright illumination that was provided by an overhanging light fixture. Renth would have been a pitch-black planet at night if not for the celestial elements that adorned the sky. The stars were astoundingly bright and near, surrounding the roof with an otherworldly ambiance that Alexis was drawn to.

"They want me to remarry again," Alexis spoke up as if it didn't make his skin tight, the words breeding a form of violence that while not targeted was definitively aimed at an intangible figure of a male. "Ridiculous really, but I did tell them I would at least glance over…" She waved her hand in the air with the bundle gripped tightly. " _These_."

"Is _this_ why you came back?"

He wasn't one for unnecessary prying or the asking of needless questions. But at the moment nothing mattered except an answer, and he _would_ get one.

Alexis flinched at his tone.

"Did you use me as your transport in order to choose another mate?" he asked of her, the cadence of his words marred with ill ease and plaguing disgust.

"What? No!"

He moved closer. Her back hit the short wall of the balcony at his advance. The printouts tumbled out of her hand.

"You know why I came back, I…"

"No. I _don't_."

"I told you. For Aaron, because..." Alexis swallowed thickly, gave him a cautious glance. "Because I am _lost_!" she admitted in a fit of agitation. "Because I don't know what I am doing. He is so different from other children and I want him to have the benefit of being with his father's family, of his own kind." Alexis let out, showing the stress that she felt, the uncertainty.

"But he _is_ human."

"Not all of him." Her mouth pressed together, she glared at him, frustrated. "I'm sorry that I put you in this position. I know this hasn't been easy. But it hasn't been easy for me either," she let him know, her tone softening.

"I'm here."

By the confused expression she wore, the female didn't understand when he needed her to. Thundercracker stood on the sheets that she had dropped, grinding them under his heel.

" _I'm_ here," he repeated. The anger gone, he felt that strange uncertainty, but he banished it with an even heavier resolve. "I want to remain, with _you_."

"I… I don't want to _hurt_ you."

"It's been many years too late for that precaution," he told her with cold honesty, the revelation causing her skin to pale in shock, her luminescent eyes to widen.

Alexis took a deep breath, covered her mouth with her knuckles, dropped her hand and finally spoke, "And that is why you should leave. I _want_ you to leave," she unnecessarily repeated.

His heart stopped. Thundercracker didn't expect her to say it, and hearing it was more jarring than the bleak reality that was trying to present itself.

The resolve he had drawn on before gushed through the blood in his veins and caused an explosion of adrenaline. A new form of anger burst through that made his chest burn, his mouth pinch. He stepped closer to her, purposely blocking her. The female would not leave until he had the truth.

" _Do you?"_

He picked up the plastic sheets, threw them over the ledge. Fire ignited from his right hand, burning the offending things to tiny cinders. He pulled on Alexis, turned her around, her hands grabbing to the rocks on the stony railing. One of his hands went to her shoulder, the other found her hip and brought her back to rest solidly against his chest as he restrained her.

TC pushed her hair to the side, his mouth resting on the back of her neck as he breathed in deep. Alexis' life organ changed its tempo, the scent of her deepening. His world swayed at the insight.

"You lie," Thundercracker spoke against her neck, the breathlessness in his words causing her to tremble.

He took her hand in his own, painting a path down her neck, lingering between her breasts where the still quickening beat was the strongest. Alexis tugged her hand away, only to place it on top of his own. Her fingers slipped between his knuckles, then fell away. His lower body tightened, his breath hitched.

Fire erupted from between his knuckles. She stepped closer to his extended hand, her fingers slowly moving up his arm, stopping when she felt the heat, when she was so close to being burned.

He stopped. She turned around to face him, Alexis' face was down, but slowly rising, her green eyes finally meeting his own.

"I would be selfish if I told you not to leave. What I do, I do for my son, and I cannot be…"

"You _want_ me to stay."

Her mouth trembled. Alexis bit her mouth and looked away. "And that is why you should go."

She lied. She told the truth. He didn't know which one affected him more. Probably the sound of her heart still racing, the scent of her skin that was a reaction to _him_.

"What I should do, and what I can't, they are _both_ relevant, Alexis."

She shook her head, struggled for words. "Thundercracker, I can't…"

Alexis was ready to object further, to try to change his mind. Not realizing that the more she did so, the more it tore and cut and bruised him, making him despise the feelings that he'd never known half a mega-cycle ago.

"I will not leave you. Not this time."

He didn't mean to touch her again. He meant to remain at least partially indifferent, to not give into the compulsions that made his flesh hot, his innards tighten. To show her that they could be whatever she needed from him.

That lasted all of three nanoclicks. Indifference, self-restraint, his base coding really wasn't equipped for either. He had only been so because she had lost her husband, because he had never cared for someone the way he did Alexandra, which made him act in peculiar ways.

But he couldn't be who he was while denying what he wanted. And what he wanted was her, not just as a friend, or a companion, but an intimate partner that knew him as he really was, as he had the potential of becoming.

TC's sentimental reticence regarding Alexis was at an end.

His hand wrapped around her bare arm, his energy leaving his fingertips and sinking readily in her flesh. Her skin was soft and giving off heat, her captivating emotions within reach. Alexis' hands twisted on the front of his jacket, her mouth parting.

He needed to be a part of her, tangled with Alexis, intimate beyond all other intimacies, the heaviness of his own desires not allowing Thundercracker to see her lack of response until Alexis pulled back, looking anywhere but at him.

His hand fell away. TC sharply stepped backward, an emptiness refilling the spark chamber of his prone and distant Cybertronian body as his energy rescinded, the sudden loss of contact a startling shock.

Alexis' mouth opened to say something. But then her coolant band pinged, a voice coming through a hidden speaker. "Someone is here to see you," a male announced, letting her know where the person was now located.

"I'll be right down."

He followed Alexis, numb and unconventionality flustered. He wanted to touch her again, needed to wrap his arms and energy tightly around her and not let go. Thundercracker's imagination had grown since they had been apart, the eroticism they now contained regarding the female as creative as they were troubling.

Thundercracker reached out toward the back of her shoulder, intent on following through. Something else took his attention though, a familiar tug on his spark echoing through his human heart, putting him on the defensive and making his hand drop.

When they reached the vestibule, he saw a human male he couldn't identify standing on the bottom of the stairs. A sharp pang twisted inside TC's head with the way Alexis gawked at the stranger, the sensation worsening when the person smiled.

And then all Thundercracker wanted to know was why Starscream was human, and what the slag he was doing on Renth.


	4. Persist

Starscream coveted, had a great lust for, and had even been known to become stimulated by information. He collected information like others did trophies from their campaigns, kept it, sorted it, culled out the valuable from the useless.

Information could be used as a commodity, as a bribe, as an incentive, even exchanged for favors. Information had saved his spark on more than one occasion, had prevented numerous uprisings, had even kept Megatron from ending him during some _unfortunate_ events.

Information was strength, was power, was control.

Not many knew of his leisurely pursuit. Something, that of late, Starscream had been spending more time on than usual. Life in the Decepticon ranks had taken a decline in activities, something while not uncommon had stretched into a long enough period of time that Starscream began to pursue other things to fill his robust appetite for entertaining diversions.

The Supreme Air Commander truly detested the plaguing feeling of boredom, loathed it more than an unruly Autobot, than an easily mapped femme.

And as Skywarp had gone off to pursue his own activities, as Thundercracker left and refused to acknowledge his messages, the Elite Seeker found himself quite fine with the presented solitude, if not a little put out.

Most fortunate that minions were never in short supply, unfortunate though was that so very few were trustworthy. Trust was a trait that not many Decepticons could be tagged with, but even Cons were capable of appreciating loyalty, especially when busy pursuing _personal_ goals.

Lag, one of his more trustworthy lieutenants, whose processor had been irrevocably damaged by Megatron, which left him more inclined toward Starscream's inclinations and motivations, served him with dedication, with discretion, making the Seeker's formidable task of stopping the mech from being recycled a more profitable one that he could have imagined at the time.

Lag was not as dense as many considered, a misconception that had worked in Starscream's favor when furthering his own agenda. And the mech was extremely capable of getting him data, using crude methods that the Elite Seeker had long past caring about, especially with the rare knowledge Lag managed to obtain.

When the grounder brought him information involving Megatron's already known activities, he browsed through it and then nearly deleted the data, when certain discrepancies, and then something else entirely, caught his attention.

Digging deeper, comparing the data to several years old medical information, he found a link, a bonus he wasn't expecting, an enticement he couldn't ignore.

Entering coordinates, he changed course.

* * *

Getting access to Renth was a far more tedious task than he expected. But Starscream had long prepared for such an occasion when he had identified Thundercracker's lingering concentration on the then mated human female. Vildans, among their other qualities, had an extreme tenacity toward long-term memory. Even Starscream had almost forgotten about the planet, about its pacifist occupants, about the time so many mega-cycles past when they had used and taken and so easily plundered all the planet's resources, leaving a once thriving planet a husk filled with useless organics.

But much had changed since then, including the Vildans' military capabilities, their peaceful natures and minds sharpened into necessary tools for warfare.

The weak had become formidable. Starscream felt as if something was owed him. He was in part responsible for the outcome.

Lying and falsifying forms, as bribing would have never worked, he used bits of the truth to gain access to the planet. He and his shuttle were scanned extensively before landing and after. Cleared, Starscream was given an hour to access the planet.

More than enough time.

* * *

Starscream was thinking of what he was going to say, of how the female would react. She'd always despised him, probably still wanted him dead, wanted to kill him herself, if allowed, as most humans did.

But his plans took a turn for the complicated and unexpected when his spark felt a familiar tug, when the female didn't come alone.

Thick agitation assaulted his sensory grid, making his focus twist and narrow onto his human wingmate and ignore the reason why he was even there. For TC to return and for him not to know, no, to return and go to the female first was irresponsible, was a flagrant disregard for Starscream's authority.

"Hello," the female spoke up, making his predatory gaze take on his original mark. Her tone was genuinely kind, a small smile on her full mouth that spoke of a hospitality he was never on the receiving end of unless having paid for it.

Thundercracker stepped in front of the female, pushing her back, effectively disrupting Starscream's scan.

"TC, what do you think you are doing?" Alexis tried to move Thundercracker to the side, but he refused to budge.

"Remain still, Alexis," he commanded, his firm tone making the female do exactly that, for a moment anyway. She lifted on her tiptoes and looked past Thundercracker's right shoulder, brows bunched with confusion. "I will take care of this," he let the female know, making sure she stayed where she was.

Starscream's mouth involuntarily jerked at that, curling into a smirk. "I came to see the female, not you." He dismissed Thundercracker, displeased and pissed and once again disgruntled by his trinemate's actions. Starscream's fingers twitched with anticipation of a violence he was forced to deny. He slid his eyes down Thundercracker's human form, unimpressed by what he saw. When he spoke again his tone was aloof and thick, throttled with a hostility he hid behind deceptively smooth words. "Had I known you were here, well, I would have approached this situation _differently_ , I assure you."

"I have no doubts of that." TC stepped closer, moving into the Supreme Air Commander's personal space, his dark gray eyes instigating a silent threat. The bones and muscles straining in his back, Starscream straightened, now scowling.

His wingmate didn't back off. But the move did give him a clearer view of the human. Alexis was looking at him, curious but cautious, her large eyes flickering from him back to Thundercracker, then back to him. TC moved closer, once more blocking the female.

"This is not a human, Alexis. This is Starscream," Thundercracker spoke to the female, his tone just as severe, and yet different somehow. "I will remove him."

And just like that, a pulse of energy disrupting from TC's fingertips, Starscream's perceptions as a human were cut off short.

* * *

Starscream didn't have to wait long for Thundercracker to locate his hidden ship and come on board. Upon first meeting, no words were needed, fists and weapons taking their place, showing the Supreme Air Commander that Thundercracker had a lot to say and make clear.

Energon leaking in places Starscream didn't want to think about, his trinemate didn't look much better, both venting air in thick gusts, the deck was fouled with fluids and broken parts, lightly burning from weapons' fire.

Starscream smiled.

Thundercracker frowned.

And for one rare instance, TC spoke first, "You will cease interfering with my life."

Starscream's smile escalated into a highly pleased grin. Not often enough did Thundercracker make things so easy for him.

"Your life?" he scoffed. The Elite Seeker lifted on his pediforms and leaned heavily against the wall. He wiped some Energon off his servo, watched with interest as it splattered on the wall. "Your life stopped being your own when you entered under my service." Starscream lifted his hand, targeting his trinemate with his wrist disruptor before retracting the weapon back in his hand with a well-earned sigh. He didn't like repeating himself. It was on his list of extreme dislikes, right after boredom. "And I didn't come to see you. I came to see the female."

"No."

"No?"

" _No_."

"As always, you talk too much." He chuckled at that, amused by his own words, by the complete irony of the circumstances he found himself under. Starscream would have never known of the female if not for Thundercracker. Never have found amusement or use in her, if not because of TC.

"And you tread where you shouldn't."

"As did you, once upon a time when you were still interesting," Starscream snarled out, digits curling into fists. "Your fascination for this female _vexes_ me. Do you wish to _continue_ to vex me?"

Thundercracker's servos flexed, his digits bent. His mouth curled up on the side, a warning of what was to come.

They continued where they had left off, but once more, not with words, but with actions that spoke much more brutally.

* * *

"Enough." Starscream pushed Thundercracker off him, pleased to see the gouges and gashes on his trinemate, the trickling of Energon from cuts and tears.

If he could barely move, he knew TC couldn't be much better off. Energy near depleted, his optics going haywire with the damage and disarray and depletion, he didn't bother standing this time, just hunched forward, palms flat on the warm surface of the deck.

"You no longer command me," TC hissed, a show of emotion peaking through the treacherous words. "And I will not _stop_ until you understand this."

His wingmate's endurance was remarkable, but when Thundercracker came for Starscream this time, he found himself flying back, pinned against the wall with just released restraints.

Idly walking toward the still struggling Seeker, he frowned tightly. "Now..." He took a moment for his systems to clear, for his vocalizer to steady. "Now you will listen to me whether you want to or not."

Thundercracker stilled, his optics targeting him with still burning and highly provocative violent intent.

"Speak then."

* * *

Thundercracker didn't believe him. But by the time he showed him all the data, or as much as he needed to, TC did.

He came to Renth to see how far he could push the female, to see exactly what she would do for the information he had obtained. Now, with Thundercracker here, his intentions had changed in part, allowing for other factors to come into play, for other wants to be known.

He had always despised the female. First because of what she was. Then because of the way she made TC malfunction, but mostly because she took his valuable trinemate away. Starscream needed TC's focus, his dedication, needed _him_.

"Her family _is_ alive," Starscream repeated what he had already told his wingmate, summing it up into fewer words, now that both knew it was the truth.

"Not all."

He easily dismissed that. "No. But her parental units are accounted for."

"And you plan to share this information with her, in exchange for what?"

Starscream chuckled at his wingmate's insight. Wiping his servo off, leaning casually against the helm, his optics met TC's. "First, _you_ will owe _me_."

"I, owe _you_?" Thundercracker repeated with disbelief. "This has nothing to do with me."

The Supreme Air Commander scoffed at that, ever amused by anyone in denial. Denials were useless, even pathetic. "Yes. Of course it d _oesn't._ " Starscream sat down, shaking his head. "Don't think me foolish, Thundercracker, that would be a terrible mistake."

"If I agree?"

"Then we come to terms with the second provision: I go along."

"Purpose?"

Starscream shrugged his shoulders. "I have nothing better to do."

That answer obviously didn't settle well with Thundercracker, who didn't believe him. A lie or not, TC would have no recourse but to do exactly what Starscream wanted.

"What makes you think anyone is going anywhere?"

"You are not the only one that studied the humans. Their motivations are not hard to decipher, especially when family units are involved. She will go." He shrugged his shoulder panels, smiled thinly. "You will go because _she_ is going, because when you are near her you are predictable and humorously distracted, if not tediously _dedicated_. A waste, I might add."

Thundercracker leaned down toward Starscream, shook his head soundly. "No." He straightened back up, wings rising boldly behind his back before tightly folding away. "I will not allow you near her."

Starscream could pinpoint exactly when communication between the two got buried in half-truths and more relevant lies, shadowed by grudges and suspicions and threats. Trinemates weren't meant to be duplicitous, were designed to act as one. But any deceptions that he had to use were entirely Thundercracker's fault. A result of TC's erroneous decisions on Earth that led to secrets and lies that rippled and spread into Starscream's own mainframe, creating necessary precautionary protocols to awaken regarding his wingmate.

Starscream crossed his arms over his chassis, bent forward, and locked onto Thundercracker's optics, speaking as if he hadn't heard a thing, knowing that what TC had said was irrelevant because of who the information pertained to. "Third provision: I inform her of the state of her parental units. Or all else is void."

Thundercracker's optics dimmed at Starscream's supercilious but highly firm tone, arms crossing over his cockpit as he weighed and measured his choices.

"I could _take_ the location from you."

"And in the time wasted of doing that, who _knows_ what could happen," he spoke snidely, the threat an unveiled one.

"You _won't_ ," Thundercracker spoke up, making Starscream highly envious of the deft manner in which he managed to convey his own threat behind two small and usually ineffectual words.

"I _will._ You've been away far too long if you truly believe I won't."

Several long moments passed, each analyzing the other, neither willing to capitulate.

"I will inform Alexis of your intentions. But her decision, whether she will speak to you at all, is her own."

Starscream huffed, his mouth curling up with his victory. "So be it." He waved his hand dismissively toward the bridge's door that slid open behind his wingmate. "Inform her."

* * *

They met on Thundercracker's ship. The female trailed behind TC, dwarfed by the size of his wingmate. She was armed, remarkably so, a blaster, a staff, some other weaponry shadowed by the thick pockets of her trousers.

Even before anyone spoke, the human was defensive, on guard and suspicious. He didn't know what Thundercracker had told her, but that hardly mattered when weighed against the two's past interactions.

The last time Starscream saw her he did try to make her an attendant, before that, poisoned her and had _killed_ whom she had believed a valued companion. And then there was the matter of what he did to her planet, to her species.

Organics and their grudges.

Her head bowed, silent and still, she let out a long breath of air before lifting her head up.

Alexis always did have peculiar eyes. The color was not unpleasing, the emotions that grew, pulsed, broke apart and changed were interesting though, reminding him how much the humans could convey in their oculars, how much they could give away just by their expressions or body language.

Such readable creatures, it took some of the fun away.

Alexis waited for him to say something. Silence remained. She became even more leery, body fidgeting with her rising discomfort. Several minutes passed like that, which was apparently as long as the female was willing to let go by. Doing an about-face, she walked away, whether an act of defiance or nervousness, the action forced him to speak first.

"Halt," he ordered, which really didn't work well at all as the female picked up her pace. Time to get to things then. "Your parental units are alive."

Her steps faltered at that, she spun around and marched back toward him. This time when she looked at him, she didn't bother hiding the hatred, a stirring emotion that made her cheeks flush with color.

She had always been a slender female, a somewhat visually appealing one, always a tiny one, and more unpredictable than should have been justified. Pushing her shorter hair behind her ears, for it to fall back forward when she shook her head, the female opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

Alexis tried again. She shook her head, fists bunching, nails digging into her thighs. Alexis glanced up at Thundercracker, her mouth trembling. "Is... is this _true_?"

"It is."

At that confirmation, her legs gave out and she fell to her knees, entire body trembling, hand covering her mouth as tears silently fell down her whitened flesh. Several minutes passed. Thundercracker moved closer but only watched her carefully, his composure straining at the edges from his own inaction. Starscream felt TC's conflict, his discomfort, the emotions breaking through his wingmate's carefully erected barriers, allowing Starscream a delicious glimmer of truth.

The human pulled herself together, slowly stood to her feet, leaning heavily against the wall when she swayed. "Do you know where they are?" she asked of Starscream, a firmness in her words that really shouldn't have been directed at him, but was.

He tensed. Thundercracker tensed. Alexis lowered her head.

"I do."

Her gaze lifted back up. "Now what?" Once again, she directed her words at Thundercracker, determined not to address him.

"We find them."

"And what does _he_ want?"

"To go along."

What little color had been left in her flesh vanished, the trembling of her limbs returning. "Why? So he can finish his job?" Alexis asked, her tone heavy with suspicion and unresolved anger.

Starscream spoke before Thundercracker could, "I'm not the one who abducted and has been using the humans, that, _Alexandra_ , was Megatron."

At the use of her full name, she shivered and flinched, her words coming out defensive and hostile. She spoke through him more than to him. "Who you work for. Who you kill and destroy and annihilate for. Who you…"

Starscream cut her off, "Well, we can't _all_ be perfect." He callously shrugged, finding amusement in her reaction, his tone marred with what she obviously considered misplaced mirth, if the defensive way she stroked her staff was anything to go by. His optics lingered on the motion of her active fingers, her grip tightening on the weapon when she caught his focused stare. Starscream grinned at her.

"I won't go anywhere with him," Alexis spoke thickly, her tone heavy and enticingly resolved, her small chin lifting in defiance to his actions, words and intent.

"Then your parents are as good as forgotten about."

"As long as you forget about them as well, then we are in agreement. I will find my parents on my own."

That he never expected.

Ready to make her grand exit, he ceased her departure, recent video recordings and pictures leaving his optics, painted on the wall in front of her, forcing her to reconsider what she just vowed.

Yes, information was power, was a manipulator, a motivation, was an instigator of partnerships that should have never had the ability to form.

Starscream would have his indulgence, his diversion, his fun.

He would have his revenge.


	5. Onward

The invasion of the Decepticon army had been Alexis' first true shock and total disarrangement of her life, and while the destruction of her planet had been devastating, it was losing Airaih that had been the second.

The third was finding out that her parents were alive.

Alexis didn't believe Starscream. She badly wanted to. But with whom the information was coming from, she disbelieved it in totality.

Until he showed her recent pictures of her parents and showed her video clips. Her parents looked healthy, and while her mom's hair was no longer dyed red, but now a natural light silver and brown, the change in color of hair was the only true difference she could see from the passing years.

She and Josh had held a funeral service for them not too many years back, a somber occasion that made them resign themselves to such devastating loss. But her parents were _alive_. Thundercracker confirmed it, even Rivet, who compared her mom and dad's medical records with the ones provided.

And yet Alexis still couldn't resolve herself to believe. Maybe her hate blinded her. That repulsive feeling that made her skin sweat and her heart pump erratically just by being in Starscream's indomitable presence.

She was supposed to forgive, and Alexis did, or so she thought until the Cybertronian was looming above her, a snide expression on his face as he informed her of things about her family that should have never concerned him.

It was too personal, too close to her, and the Seeker knowing such things set off an anger inside Alexis that left her numb and cold and vengefully spiteful, the pressure of which left her with a splitting headache.

He wanted to go with them.

She definitely didn't trust that. He wanted something. Perhaps to hurt her or her family. Either way he was planning to use her, a goal obviously in his mind, something that would benefit or please him.

That belief made her headache turn into a migraine.

Alexis had barely settled on Renth with her son. They had come for guidance from Aaron's great-grandfather, a man that Airaih had talked about in his verbal journals. She hadn't been able to even listen to her husband's journals, until, oddly enough, after her parents' funeral.

When she finally did it was like old wounds reopening that hadn't fully closed. Hearing Airaih speak again was like relief, was like falling in love with him all over again as his vivid voice sounded so near, her headphones amplifying the sensation of intimacy as he told her of his experiences, his thoughts, his inclinations and impulses.

She liked Methaih immediately upon meeting him. Insightful and kind, his grandfather was all that Airaih spoke of and more. Aaron didn't know what to make of his great-grandfather, or of Renth. Although his first words on the planet had been about how good the heat felt and that it was easier to breathe.

Alexis knew Aaron preferred the heat, in fact thrived in it. But Alexis still needed her coolant band, a device that had been upgraded before Airaih's passing, a device that she associated with her husband, with a life that seemed to have been lived so long ago, and yet almost yesterday.

Alexis contacted Josh as promised. She had more news than just how their arrival on Renth had gone and how Aaron was adapting. Starscream lying or not, they decided that they couldn't take the chance. Her brother left the very next day, which gave her two weeks to prepare for a journey that left her more trepidatious than hopeful.

She knew Aaron was in good hands with his great-grandfather. Speaking for a lengthy time, Methaih assured her of what he would and wouldn't teach her son, of what would be beneficial for Aaron. Spending time with children his own age, and of the other half of his genetic makeup, he fit in easily with his cousins, acclimating far quicker than she was.

Alexis didn't want to leave Aaron though. Yes, they had been apart for a couple of days before, or that week when he had gone on a camping trip with his uncle, and some extended learning expeditions with his class, but this was different. A new planet, a new culture, new experiences, she had planned to share them with him. She didn't want to separate from him, not like this, not for a time that couldn't be calculated, but could be as much as a month.

"If I had a chance to see my father, no matter how hard it was, I would," Aaron told her several days after Starscream's news, after the decision had long been made, but still disturbed her. He sat down beside her on his father's bed, the two settled in Airaih's old room.

Scooting over, he leaned against Alexis, looking up at her carefully as he spoke with far too much seriousness for his young age.

"I'm going to be okay, mother," he added. "I like great-grandfather. Today he taught me breathing exercises. Tomorrow he is going to start training for the use of a staff weapon, just like yours!" He frowned a little, his eyes shutting momentarily before his offered truths. "School is harder here. And I don't understand why history is so important. But I like it here. And auntie will be here with me. And you will be happier once you find your parents. Family _is_ important."

* * *

Two weeks passed far too quickly. But by the time she left Renth and her son, Alexis felt more confident in her decision. Being near Starscream was something else entirely. But Thundercracker was there, as was Josh, making the journey on TC's shuttle an experience that was more odd than difficult.

Fortunately the trip was only going to be for two days. Unfortunately though, she was still affected by Starscream, who, while he hadn't been able to see her again on Renth, had a penchant for bumping into her on the small space craft.

"Still ignoring me?" She heard that voice from behind her. Involuntarily tensing, her throat tightened, skin crawling. Alexis had the vision of throwing a nova grenade behind her shoulder. She imagined the explosion, the ending of his life, and probably hers.

If she didn't have Aaron, their deaths would have probably been worth it. He needed to die for what he did to her planet, her people, what he did to so many others. Megatron may have been issuing the commands, but it was he that followed through and _enjoyed_ it. He that was still a singular force of destruction and terror and immeasurable deaths.

If she killed him, she would save so many others. If he died, she could write it down as a preventative measure, of doing what was right. Thinking that though was not the same as acting on it. With Starscream, avoiding didn't do any good, ignoring only amused him, and not speaking to him only made him speak _more_.

This time however, Alexis had something to say.

"If you hurt my family, my brother, my parents, anyone I love, I will make it my life's mission to end you." The fury in her words, the threat, it was unlike herself, and yet she meant every word. The idea of losing anyone again like she had Airaih was a mental torment that she would not allow Starscream to precipitate into a truth.

He frowned, examining her from far above, mouth tightening. "Interesting. I thought you were all about forgiveness, and believing in the good of everyone. Have I misaligned your benevolence? Or are you merely defaulting to your species preposition toward violence and reprisal? A pity, but you all do share the same _generic_ template."

She said what she wanted. Alexis felt no need to say anything further. She jumped off the tall console and found herself blocked by a very large hand.

"I didn't give you _permission_ to leave."

"Let her pass," she heard her brother say from behind the Seeker, then the very audible sound of his weapon charging. Josh had gone back to their shared compartment for some schematics on the planet they were heading to, returning just in time to hear Starscream's order. Josh wasn't one to allow things to get out of hand, but things were escalating quickly. " _Now_."

Josh lifted up his trippqen rifle, a weapon he himself had modified from its original bulky size. He'd only had it a couple of months, which was more than enough time for her brother to become quite comfortable in its usage. His eyes were already targeting Starscream, his mouth pressed together tightly, his finger resting on the trigger pad.

"I think not," the Air Commander spoke haughtily, his optics focusing on Alexis, a sneer taking over his face. He turned to look at Josh, his voice unconcerned but entirely hostile. "I suggest you lower your weapon unless you want to damage me slightly, and you two _irrevocably_."

"Is that a threat?" Josh spoke tightly, his tone as such that Alexis knew he was still trying to decide what to do, but closer to making up his mind.

"Yes," Starscream said. He turned back to Alexis when he felt her hand land on one of his digits. His optics zeroed in on the deliberate contact.

"So is this." Alexis frowned, trying and failing to hold back the shiver that passed down her shoulder blades when his blood red optics targeted her eyes. Metal liquid ran from her coolant band, something that Airaih had added, a preventive measure for just such an occasion. The cold liquid solidified around her hands, creating a conductive surface for what she could do next. "This may not kill you, but it will be very _uncomfortable."_

For several long moments, Starscream only stared at her hand as if it was information he needed to sort or tackle. Straightening up, her hand removed, his focus remained on Alexis. He chuckled, something in his expression making her cringe and her skin crawl all over again.

"You have quite the vigilant protector. I can only guess where you got such _tech_." The Seeker flashed her a brilliant smile before he turned verbally contemplative. "How interesting that your actions entice me more than rebuff. You _may_ pass, human." He waved his hand behind him, as if everything was in his power and control, as if she had been waiting for his permission all along. "But know that you can't ignore me forever," he said to her back, his voice low and throttled and deep.

Alexis almost lost her lunch. Josh nearly opened fire.

* * *

Hours from arriving at the mining planet was when _human_ Starscream appeared. The first time Alexis saw him, she could now admit, she had been transfixed. The longer raven hair pulled back, the deathly white flesh that was reminiscent of nobility or supernatural creatures, the bewitching lavender eyes and perfectly proportioned nose, even the beautifully made clothes he wore were attractive and enhanced his deceptively thin form.

She'd never been physically attracted to someone so quickly. And that reaction, while not acute as his first appearance now that she knew who he was, still made her breath stick in her throat, her stomach fall away. Reasoning though, logic, kept her from acknowledging the attraction too fully, and he was totally forgotten about when Thundercracker made his appearance, TC dominating her entirely. The demeaning way he spoke to her and Josh also kept Alexis from considering his quickly diminishing appeal.

"We stay _together_ ," Starscream addressed them, hands behind his rigid back, his bright eyes unnatural.

"Together, not _close_ ," Thundercracker spoke up, something else unsaid passing between the two Seekers. He moved toward Alexis and Josh, his arm brushing along her own, a subtle but purposeful contact that made her life organ thump.

Her brother stepped in front of TC, double checking her breathing gear that was necessary since the planet had no livable surface. The four would have to walk three miles to reach the entrance to the planet's underground passages. And if Starscream didn't lie, they would be given access with the identity cards he had provided them with.

"Getting in is easy," Starscream said. He pushed her brother to the side and attached the last tubule on her face mask that Josh had been having such difficulty with. He lingered, looking down at her before moving to the corner near the shuttle's exit hatch. He picked up his gear. Starscream motioned for the others to ready their own. "If you don't want to be killed, you will do as your told, both by me and the resident overseer. If we are fortunate, we should be able to find your parental units quickly. If we are not, we will be stuck together for a while. I suggest you do your best to fit in. I wouldn't want any _unfortunate_ incidents."

"As if _you_ could fit in with humans," Josh lashed out, his greenish blue eyes dark with aversion. He checked his rifle before securing it behind his back, eying Starscream while he did so, relaying his willingness to use the weapon. Alexis wasn't the only one having difficulty being around Starscream. She'd never seen her brother behave in such an aggressive manner before. She found his behavior startling, somewhat scary, and yet fascinating to watch since he was so unlike his usual benevolent self.

"In a group, I _will_ ," Starscream replied, his words triggering something in Alexis' head that was important, that was a glimmer of illumination toward what he needed and was trying to do. Now that they had arrived the Seeker was suddenly entirely focused, pushing for them to move on.

Her brother glanced at her, managing to activate his face mask before Starscream opened the shuttle's hatch. She knew what he was thinking about. He wanted to deliver Starscream to the Autobots. Alexis couldn't help but think that if it was that easy, surely the Autobots would have dealt with him already. Josh still wanted to try. She just wanted to get the whole ordeal over with.

Following after the three men, she marveled at the planet that was devoid of life and light before her focus settled on Starscream's back. A sharp chill wound down her back as once more, but with more acuity, Alexis identified who exactly she was with.

The dread came. If only she didn't feel like she was sacrificing her integrity, or losing something else vitally important. But the hope of seeing her parents again was far more important than focusing on any of that.

Starscream was up to something though. Thundercracker knew it. She knew it. Her brother knew it. Anyone that ever came into contact with the Seeker knew it. Alexis could only hope and pray and believe that it wasn't personal, that she wasn't anything worthy of his retaliation, for whatever grudges he was holding against her.

But the idea that he had something planned and was up to something, that he was involving her, and Josh, and maybe others, had her despising him all the more, and watching him harder. As if sensing the focus of her thoughts, Starscream turned and stared at her. Alexis' imagination took off again, but not of turning him into the Autobots, but pushing him off a nearby cliff.

That thought really shouldn't have cheered her up, but it did.


	6. Pit

Starscream could be trusted for many things.

He could be trusted to be duplicitous, self-serving, willing to sacrifice others, use any means necessary to get in the favor of Megatron, all the while plotting, manipulating in order to keep a one-up on the High Lord Protector. An edge that was usually used toward another flagrant and ultimately failed attempt at securing the Decepticon army for himself.

The Supreme Air Commander's tenacity and ruthlessness could not be disputed though. And one did not have to be around Starscream long to understand exactly why Megatron kept the Seeker around despite his obvious aspirations, which had given Megatron an abundant opportunity at learning how to bring the Air Commander to heel quite brutally when required.

One could say that the way Megatron treated Starscream was only an outcome from what Starscream kept failing to obtain, his own actions creating the very resentment that fueled his treacherous ambitions.

Thundercracker could _vividly_ recall what had transpired after he had the misfortune of informing Starscream of that highly logical but never should have been voiced thought trail. The altercation that followed did give him the opportunity to analyze the Air Commander more thoroughly. TC understood then that trinemate or not, he too was expendable.

It wasn't like Starscream didn't try to exploit him before. But that he usually caught such attempts several klicks away from success. However, Starscream's success on The Line's ship showed that the Air Commander still knew how to manipulate him when necessary. Thundercracker knew Starscream's reasons toward such disregard was just a reaction to his separation from the Decepticon cause, which Starscream took more personally that he wanted Thundercracker to believe.

A Starscream spurned was just as dangerous as one that had been targeted. Being targeted by Starscream though was 37% more dangerous. But TC knew it wasn't he that was being targeted, wasn't Alexis either, although that is what Starscream wanted him to believe.

Starscream didn't vocalize his plans to him anymore. The concealment creating a rift just as there had been upon his initial inclusion as a trinemate. This time though there was no purpose to proving himself. TC's optics and eyes would not leave the Supreme Air Commander until the dangerous operation was through.

Yes, Starscream _could_ be trusted, _not_ to be trusted.

* * *

The colony they were led to was far more vast than the outdated intel they had been provided. The underground construction reminded TC of a human ant or even bee colony, not just by the engineering of the highly complex structures and passageways, but by the swarming of all the people.

The intel provided had not only been outdated but understated.

The master of illusion and diversions, Megatron had created a sustainable outlet for raw Energon and materials, using humans, not just a few, but over a billion that he had saved and then manipulated into working for him.

Not by cruelty or threats, not by examples that were made, but by providing a paradise and giving the humans everything they could have needed, giving more than they could have ever wanted.

The deceived humans believed they were working for Autobots and providing essentials for the war. They couldn't have been more in error.

"Here is where you all will stay." Their provided escort stopped before an open lift and indicated for the four to get on board. He looked at a large tablet he held in his right hand. "You're on level 4, rooms 437-440B and share common room 7345, which is accessible through the door behind your bunk. Your jobs will be texted to you once your skills have been properly analyzed from the tests you took upon your arrival." The man looked each over and then tapped on his wrist at the plastic band that all the residents were required to wear. "If you get lost, wave this in front of any of the many available monitors, it will guide you, answer questions and direct you properly. Welcome to The Pit."

Starscream choked on a chuckle. Thundercracker raised a brow.

The humans' paradise was named after Cybertronians' hell.

A promise as any from their unknown benefactor.

* * *

He and Starscream had been assigned to the record's room. Josh had been assigned to the recreation's department, and Alexis as an Energon and ore isolator. Starscream disappeared as soon as Thundercracker had been occupied. The three met in the common room, speaking once Thundercracker cleared the area of resident interlopers, making it quite clear that the room was theirs now.

"This is, my God…" Alexis spoke in a hush, mouth heavy as she shared a look with her brother. "I have always hoped that more survived than what was reported, but this, I never expected _this_."

"They are slaves and they don't even know it," Josh spoke from clear anxiety. He sat down by his sister and squeezed her hand. His attention was preoccupied on TC, who didn't bother with sitting.

The quarters provided were small but adequate. The common room was filled with time wasters and diversionary videos, books and other devices of frivolous enjoyments. The room held large comfortable sofas, more reclining furniture, non-nutritional foods in small cold storage boxes and in plastic containers on shelves.

And there was more outside the pleasure centered room. More activities provided, more time wasters. There were clubs, bars, restaurants, other exclusive activities provided as bonuses for the quality of work that was performed.

"Brilliant." Starscream burst into the room, all energy and eager satisfaction, a half-smile illuminating his face. He plopped down by the siblings, amused when Josh got up and stood elsewhere. Alexis joined her brother when Starscream scooted closer to the female, her hand resting around her brother's arm. "Utterly brilliant," the Elite Seeker added as he stretched back, arms resting on the large couch behind him. He kept his eyes on Thundercracker, his gaze wandering as he began to speak. "Megatron certainly has you humans pegged. Subjugating you obviously didn't work, but blind you, gorge you with all manner of delights, and you do _anything."_

"If we told them…" Josh spoke up, fired up and ready to do something about the situation.

Starscream disrupted the human's words, shaking his head at Thundercracker as if it was his duty to keep the humans in line. TC crossed his hands over his chest. Screamer's irritation grew before mutating into blithe enjoyment. "Yes, if creating mass chaos is your goal, then have at it." Starscream laughed, shaking his head at Josh as he signaled him to leave the room and begin, ready to watch the outcome. "Truth can be more disruptive than well-maintained lies."

"We can't just…" Alexis began, words interrupted as she became lost in restraining her brother after Starscream tried to instigate something with the snide way he continued to stare at the sibling.

"You can. You _will_. If you want to find you parents." Starscream leaned forward, chin resting on his left hand as his eyes became glued on the female, daring her to argue.

"Nobody said we couldn't do _both,_ " Josh reasoned.

"You'll be lucky if you do either, unless with my help," the Supreme Air Commander commented.

"Why are you here?" Josh took a bold step toward Starscream. Not liking being looked down on, the Seeker stood to his feet. Josh gulped soundly but didn't back down. "You aren't here to help us or the humans here."

Starscream narrowed his eyes. His vocals turned severe. "My thoughts are not for you to own. Focus on your goals, and I won't disrupt your plans."

"Our parents, did you find them?" Alexis pulled Josh back, keeping her distance but interrupting the conflict of an exchange.

Once more Starscream's gaze shifted sharply to the female. "She _speaks_ to me. Someone make a memo of this momentous event."

"Did you _find_ them?" Alexis repeated, her tone devoid of the annoyance that should have been there. "Please, tell us."

"Since you asked so _nicely,_ " he said, all the while walking away from the three. He paused at his quarter's door, but not before throwing some small tablets down on a nearby sofa. "Here is the data on all that reside here. There are no search perimeters enabled. You will have to go through the information one person at a time. I told you I'd bring you to them, _locating_ them is up to you." Smug in their eminent failure, he disappeared inside his room.

Josh picked up the tablets and eyed them with suspicion. He swiped his hand across one of the data pads, then again and again. He fell back on the couch behind him, sighing heavily, but evidently unwilling to give up. "There are so many here, so much information. This is going to take longer than I thought."

Her brother handed Alexis one of the tablets. She sat down beside him and began to scroll through the data.

"I offer my assistance," TC told Josh.

"You weren't offering much a moment ago," Josh said, his tone not as harsh as his words. "Up until a moment ago, I forgot that you could even speak."

"I speak when necessary."

"Yes, well, that remains to be seen." Josh handed him the third tablet, motioning toward Alexis to make space for the Seeker. His attention was heavy on Thundercracker and how close he was to his sister. "My sister trusts you," Josh quietly stated.

 _Please don't mistake that for other things._ Josh texted the Seeker a moment later.

* * *

Alexis always finished her job before Thundercracker and Josh. Starscream hadn't even bothered showing up to his designated task, forcing TC to come up with excuses. Having trailed Starscream on more than one occasion, he had an idea of what Starscream was up to. Finding it didn't directly threaten Alexis or her brother, he left the Supreme Air Commander to his own devises, for the moment.

He found Alexis asleep on one of the sofas with her tablet on the floor beneath her, a male who had been suspiciously reading a book in the corner, scampering out of the common room upon his entrance.

Starscream loudly entered the room, so focused on his task of looking for something on one of the shelves that he ignored Thundercracker completely. He paused upon noticing the inactive female, standing above her, his face shadowed. His thoughts raced in incoherent bundles. Picking up fragments, TC must have broadcasted something himself, because Starscream shifted on his feet and walked heavily toward him.

The humanized Seeker had a still bleeding gash above his brow, more blood on his left sleeve that was not his own.

" _Protective are we_?" Starscream commented, ill-humored and sounding vengeful. " _And to think I believed you would never let anyone in, besides Skywarp and me, of course_. _Has she let you in_?" Starscream inquired through their link, his question doubled edged and spiteful. The Supreme Air Commander was frustrated, more so than usual. His fingers were twitching, his oddly reddened eyes kept darting here there and beyond TC, as if his focus was on overdrive.

" _I will not let anyone harm her_."

" _And you believe that my intent._ "

" _You did seek her out."_

" _You think so low of me, Thundercracker, give me so little credit. It takes more than a mere human to stop me. And no female has ever gotten the better of me, in a berth, or outside one. You however…"_ Starscream sighed loudly, causing Alexis to lightly stir. " _Will be the reason for her pain_."

Thundercracker grabbed Starscream's throat, pushed him over a pile of newspapers, squeezing tighter as soon as their momentum stopped and the Supreme Air Commander was trapped against one of the large bookcases.

"Well this seems oddly familiar," Starscream said out loud. "Now I suppose comes the part where you threaten me, or where you feign indifference for the human." He loudly pushed air out of his nose. "Several years beyond that tactic though. Admit she means something to you, and perhaps…" Screamer's words died when TC pressed his thumb harder against his jugular.

"I _admit_ it," Thundercracker spoke harshly. Starscream's eyes widened at the unexpected honesty, his mouth tightening into an unpleasant frown. "Whatever game you think you are playing with her…"

Starscream shoved him back, swung his body around and caught TC in the chest with a powerful frontal kick. Unable to block in time, Thundercracker went flying back, crashing on a small table. Light exploded behind his eyes, a loud cracking sound coming from the vicinity of his wrist, an uncomfortable pressure jabbing into his back.

Alexis woke up at that and got to her feet only to be pushed back down on the sofa by the passing Starscream.

" _Useless_ ," Starscream muttered loudly. He turned back around and reached for Alexis. The Supreme Air Commander lifted her chin upward, his fingers lingering long enough for TC to see. "A waste," he added, right before Alexis moved his hand away.

The Supreme Air Commander didn't like that in the least, but when he reached for Alexis again, he didn't find it so easy. Her staff extended, she stood up but didn't back away, her wrist twirled and the rod twisted then stopped, creating a barrier between them.

"That's… _interesting_ ," was all Starscream said, his tone a disturbing rumble of air, his focus on the female and the just rising Thundercracker, then elsewhere as he left the common room in a flurry.

* * *

They weren't to see Starscream for the rest of the night. But Thundercracker couldn't shut out all the chaos of Screamer's racing mind. His thoughts were incomprehensible and jumbled, the emotions a jarring sensation that preoccupied him greatly. Even when his wingmate entered a forced recharge cycle, Thundercracker had to concentrate to keep the ravings an echo rather than a lingering intrusion. He'd dealt with Starscream like this before, but not in a long while, not at such a close distance, forcing TC to engage outdated protocols as he coped with such secondhand distress.

"Are you okay?" Alexis sat down beside him.

His hands fell away from his forehead. He opened his eyes, unaware that he had closed them till that moment.

Alexis blinked hard, staring into his eyes as if she'd forgotten what they looked like. "You had quite a scary fall earlier. How's your wrist?"

"Fine," he lied. He found it hard to swallow when he took in the full view of the female. Alexis' hair was damp and down, her cheeks flushed with heat from the shower she had obviously taken. Her clothes were now changed into more casual Vildan attire, her legs folded underneath her. The skirt of the soft dress she wore spilled over the edge of the sofa. "I have already corrected the damage," he added.

He was aware that his hand was so close to her own, and the smell of her flesh that was accentuated by the dampness of her skin and clothes. TC took a deep breath. The already present flush extended below Alexis' neck. He expected her to look away or to leave, his rapidly evolving thoughts turning blatant.

"That's good. And your head?" she questioned of him. Her voice was softer than it had been. The words strained and strange as if she had to concentrate to form them. His gut twisted and his mouth went dry.

Thundercracker wanted to move much closer to Alexis, to take even deeper breaths, to bring her hand to his mouth so he could feel her skin, the curve of her knuckles, the taste of her washed flesh. The timing was wrong though, and he despised the way she was beginning to watch him, tense and alert.

So he grabbed his tablet, intentionally leaned over her body and grabbed her own tablet and handed it to her. Alexis' breaths were now deeper from his avoidable contact, her eyes so focused on him that TC's skin prickled with heightened awareness. Blocking the escalating craving from himself and his too close wingmate, he directed his thought processes elsewhere.

"Shall we continue the search for your parents?"

After a long moment she nodded her head. And when Alexis happened to catch him staring at her over the course of the next hour and half as they worked and talked, she said nothing, but she also didn't look away.

By the time she said goodnight and left him alone, Thundercracker's skin felt confined and hot. The scent of Alexis lingered on the sofa, a stimulation, he was learning, was unlike any other. He picked up one of the pillows Alexis had been resting against and headed to his own quarters.

TC paused outside Screamer's door. His wingmate's internal defenses were now back in place, his thoughts blocked. Thundercracker continued on his way to his quarters, ordering the common room's lights off before his own door slid shut behind him.


	7. Veracity

Starscream lied to Thundercracker. He lied to the human siblings. He lied to those he met on The Pit. He lied so often and so much that telling the truth caused him more of a conundrum then twisting facts as he saw fit.

Megatron was known for collecting resources, both sentient and not, hoarding them when it suited whatever scheme he had come up with. But he'd never taken such a vast amount of creatures off their planet before, never gone to such an extent to manipulate and use. The Supreme Air Commander didn't think much of it, not at first, not until locating an error in one of the latest reports from The Pit.

But with the amount of humans he found on the rock of a planet, the report hadn't been an error but an accidentally included truth.

To say he was intrigued was an understatement.

Before he even had to consider how to get on the planet, another piece of information was found, a coincidence that was both frustrating and enticing.

Using the female's own problem to gain access was highly satisfying. But finding out why Megatron was keeping the activity, not hidden, but not fully disclosed was far more of a challenge than he had been prepared for, but it was also an opportunity he could not dismiss.

Megatron had saved over a billion humans, an effort that could not have been a small one. Starscream would find out what lie beneath such an action, believing that in his efforts he would find a gap in Megatron's armor, leverage or even collateral, anything that would lead him one step closer to the two things he craved more than anything in the galaxy: power and the overthrow of Megatron.

And if he happened to put the female human's life into disarray, and remind TC of where his loyalties were supposed to lie, all the better for it.

* * *

Starscream may have loathed Megatron, may have despised the human female, but what he was starting to learn was just as bad were a _multitude_ of humans. He'd never seen so many in one place, not even on Earth, the crowds of the creatures creating a claustrophobia of sorts that made him irritable and far too aware of the weak flesh in which his consciousness resided.

They were easy to manipulate though, to fool, far easier to lie to when backed with incentives. And while his tactics had to change to get the information he was looking for, the Supreme Air Commander learned quickly enough while interacting with the organics that not all of them were as simple as they appeared.

His main priority for landing on the planet had been to find the central core processing unit, which really was proving an aggravation.

Led to one person than another, he was introduced to a male inside of a far too loud musical club who refused to speak to him until he inhaled on a small stick, an initiation ritual which wasn't as strange as some of the others he had encountered.

What Starscream hadn't expected was for the narcotic to do anything to his system, for the world to sharpen, for his meager human senses to widen, for the music, which had been thumping through the room, to pump the blood in his veins, an unusual silence capturing his systems before the staggering questions came that forced him to leave the loudness behind only to return when he heard the laughter from the table he had left behind.

By the time he left the club, the laughter had halted, his questions were answered, but not without the sticky remnants of blood on his hands.

* * *

Acting as a human was one thing. Being one was so much worse. He really shouldn't have copied the holo-form programming of Timothy, which made everything far too real, more real than he could have ever imagined. His legs racing along with his mind, Starscream found himself inside the common room, hovering above the sleeping female, strange compulsions assaulting his mind that were interrupted by TC.

Eight hours later he woke up to find himself curled up in the closet inside his small quarters, his mouth dry and his mind dulled, hardly aware of what had taken place in the time between. But he did remember one thing, where The Pit's CPU was located. Ignoring the craving inside his brain, the twitch in his fingers, he threw cold water on his face, startled by who stared back at him in the mirror.

For 1/10th of a second, the Seeker forgot who he was, believed himself to be stuck in the sack of flesh and bones with all its limitations, forgetting where he came from and what he was capable of.

He'd never been so terrified in a long while.

* * *

Humans knew how to keep busy, Starscream would give them that. And some could work hard when so inclined. But give them all they needed and they wanted more. Provide them with clothing, shelter, protection, everything beneficial to survive, including enough activities and entertainment to last lifetimes, and they sought other deadly, damaging, mind altering, self-destructive diversions. And as if that wasn't enough, they had a tendency of pulling others along for the ride.

Sitting outside one of the many dining facilities, isolated and off on his own, he continued to watch and observe the insects that were humanity. Watched them clamor and buzz and swarm, creating packs and looking for momentary companionship, eating quickly so they could talk even more, their conversations trivial and tedious.

His view was partially blocked when three males stepped in front of his table. Starscream ignored them completely. Thirty feet away, he observed Alexis enter the dining hall, searching for her brother, but not finding him anywhere.

The Seeker's attention was snapped away when a hand waved unwisely in front of his face.

"Are you Seth Star?" A diminutive man with bright orange hair asked, who had enough freckles on his face to contend with the amount of stars in the Breiu galaxy, and a voice that sounded more whiny than commanding.

He stood to his feet and scowled at the three, ready to punish them for interrupting him. The three puny men backed up and swallowed hard. The Seeker's intentions were clearly conveyed on his face.

But he had gained too much attention from his last altercation. And Starscream wasn't fully empowered although he could have taken them on easily. But they bored him and they were wasting his time.

Crashing back down on the bench, he went back to ignoring them after waving them off with a swipe of his hand. They stood there, stupid and lifeless until they became to prattle among themselves. Their vocal inflections were pitiful and complaining.

The minuscule human approached him again. This time he appeared more determined and far too bold.

"Are _you_ Seth Star?" the male repeated his inquiry. "I'm just asking. Because if you are, you have been preventing group 3491 from getting passes to the rain room by not doing your assigned job." He leaned forward and crowded the Seeker's space, triggering a defensive measure that had him jumping up and pushing the fleshy violently back.

Starscream was grabbed from the back and hit from the front. He wobbled but stood his ground. Blood spilled from his mouth as the three surrounded him with the pitiful intentions to battle. That was when Alexis noticed him, one of the few that did, the other humans far too preoccupied with their small lives. She stepped in his direction and then seemed to think better of it. Her attention went to the food for two she was carrying than slowly drifting back to him.

Alexis sighed and put her food down. He lost sight of her in the dining hall.

"Why are you grinning, man?" One of the insignificant fleshies asked of him.

Starscream lifted his chin, licked the blood off his mouth and cringed from the unfamiliar flavor.

"Because I _am_ Seth Star," he spoke quietly, dangerously. "And you will regret finding me."

Planning his attack took exactly .0078 seconds, being interrupted took half that.

"What are you doing to my brother?"

Alexis stepped in front of Starscream, taking his hand to needlessly steady him, not letting go after.

"We were just trying to talk to him. Your brother has some serious social issues."

Alexis scowled but didn't argue that fact. Her eyes remained on the three men to make sure they didn't try anything again. She ignored Starscream.

"What exactly do you want with him?" Alexis asked, giving the Seeker a quick sidelong glace that was hardly sympathetic.

One of the three explained, but Starscream hardly listened. His focus was on where Alexis' and his hand folded together, the tight pressure of her skin against his own. And even if she was more holding his wrist than his hand, the prolonged contact did not go unnoticed. His life organ pulsed harshly against his rib cage, a swallow he hadn't meant to instigate sticking in his throat. The female was close, almost as close as that night when he touched her as Timothy, no when _she_ touched him. He took a step nearer and peered down at her silken hair and pale skin, following a wayward tendril of hair that curled around her delicate throat.

By the time he tuned in again, he realized Alexis was trying to defend him, talking for him as well, both which aggravated more than helped. There were some people you just couldn't reason with.

Pushing Alexis out of the way, he had the three males on the ground and bleeding before the female could protest. By then there was a sizable crowd. The three were already getting up, cursing and blustering loudly, trying to incite those around them.

That was when he felt Alexis clamp back down on his arm and then tightly grab his hand, leading him quickly away.

He didn't notice the first time, but her hand was decidedly smaller than his, her wrist slim and supple. Her hand fit perfectly within the folds of his own, her fingers curling around.

Alexis was trying to protect him, keep him safe. He found her actions bold, reckless, highly unnecessary, and a turn on.

Starscream pressed his hand tighter against her own. Alexis shot an unfavorable look at him that ignited something deep in the pit of his stomach, making the steps that followed spark with a bodily friction that nestled between his thighs and managed to strum his far distant spark.

Alexis continued to tug his vulnerable body forward.

He willingly let her.

* * *

The female didn't stop her quick pace for some time. Her head continually turned around as if someone was following, even though they had lost their pursuers a good ten minutes ago. Something he _neglected_ to inform her of.

They ended up in the winding narrowing passageways near the processing district, the low thrum of large equipment winding through his bones.

"Let go of my hand," Starscream ordered before the female realized what she had been doing. The focused human stopped and turned around, eyes flashing to their still joined hands. She let go so quickly that he couldn't help but chuckle even as his flesh stung. "I didn't know you _cared_."

She shrugged her shoulders, looked past him and then looked behind her. Her eyes narrowed back on the Seeker.

"You would have hurt them, maybe even killed them. I couldn't allow that."

Her reasoning washed away the ludicrously satisfying feeling that had violated his senses. His mouth twisted into a scowl. Starscream grabbed to the female's shoulders, feeling vindictive.

" _Brother_?" he asked of her. His tongue wet his mouth slowly, with purpose. His eyes lewdly fixated on the female creature, wanting to make her uncomfortable.

Alexis' emerald eyes shone with malcontent. Her face flushed. She looked away. The female was close enough that Starscream could smell sweat and metal and something tangy that scented her hair. She was still in her work clothes, her hair was half loose from its holder, the tools inside her small bag jingling softly against her hip.

Bending her leg, she used what leverage she had to get his hands off. And then she walked away.

Oddly enough, Starscream felt compelled to follow.

* * *

"Admit you have no idea where you are, and I may help you," Starscream graciously offered Alexis.

There were no monitors or way stations to help in locating where they were, no computer consoles to seek help. They had been lost for more than thirty minutes, winding through the similar corridors only to end up near where they had entered. Alexis had remained quite calm at first, but her anxiety was beginning to show in the terse manner of her speech, the tightening of her muscles and the agitated manner in which she breathed.

She didn't like being alone with him. She had difficulties speaking to him. Alexis was desperate to get away.

"Admit you know the way out of here, and I _may_ follow you," Alexis snapped back, glaring at him so forwardly that his chest constricted.

His mouth bent as he savored the prospect. "That I admit is an interesting proposition."

"Well?" she asked impatiently, her eyes narrowing at him, obviously not expecting anything good.

He smiled wide. Starscream was truly relishing all the attention he was getting from her. He wasn't one to linger in a female's presence beyond the need for his own pleasure. And he found she was a diversion indeed, despite the wicked things she hadn't done to him.

"I am considering it."

"Consider _quicker_." She slowed her pace, carefully watching him as she turned into a left corridor.

"Have somewhere to be?"

She nodded her head. Alexis didn't like when he walked beside her, and as she hadn't taken him up on his offer, the Supreme Air Commander was quite content with trailing behind. He'd had worse views.

"Yes. Anywhere but here."

"Anywhere but here with _me,_ " he corrected. Starscream continued to stare at her back. He watched her muscles twitch, watched her take a deep breath.

"What?" she asked tightly, still not wanting to converse with him. But she didn't dare ignore him.

He tilted his head, shrugged his shoulders and spoke to the back of her head. "You meant to say anywhere but here with _me_."

"I was trying to be polite."

"Why?"

She halted sharply at that. Alexis turned around and nearly crashed into him, unaware of just how close he had been. Chin lifting, the female's green eyes targeted his lavender ones. "Because even megalomaniac, narcissistic jerks deserve kindness," she told him spitefully, her words full of blame, of sorrow and something else he couldn't quite interpret that made her eyes shine brilliantly.

" _That_ wasn't nice."

" _That_ was the truth."

He took a step closer. "As you see it."

Alexis took two steps back. She huffed out loudly. And then she continued to walk, leaving him behind when she turned into another corridor on the left.

"Wrong way," he told the female.

"As you said last time. This time we are trying it anyway." She didn't spare him a look.

Grinning at her back, he caught up with her, keeping Alexis' pace as he easily strolled beside her. They made it out of the processing district three minutes later. Alexis made her way to a nearby monitor and found directions to her quarters. She returned to where the Seeker waited, arms latched across her body, her expression captivating in its vengefulness.

"I may have lied," he offered as a way as an explanation.

The female paled dramatically, cheeks infusing with color. A work shift must have ended for a crowd of humans filtered around them. Starscream stood his ground, forcing the humans to go around. He couldn't take his eyes off the female. Alexis was so complementing in her reactions. She steadied herself, pushed her hair behind her ear, her tiny fingers curling into fists as if preparing for attack, thoughts visibly racing. But instead of attacking as he had predicated, Alexis only met his stare, this time managing not to flinch. One word exhaled from her full mouth.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Would you have killed those men?" she asked quietly so as not to be overheard, totally off the topic he had been wanting to head toward. Alexis moved out of the way when the next group came, looking uncomfortable and discomposed.

This time he found great satisfaction in telling the truth. "That wouldn't have served my purpose."

She bit her lip, looked furious and unsettled. Alexis unnecessarily moved out of the way of a group of teenage girls who slowed down as they looked Starscream over. Dressed in well-fitted slacks and a loose long sleeved shirt, which he had chosen carefully in order to enhance his frame and draw out the color of his eyes, he knew he looked tempting from the crown of his head to the bottom of his slick combat boots. And while he still felt discombobulated without the display of his impressive wings, the human male form he had crafted was as immaculate as he.

He let the femmes stare. They giggled and blushed when he spared them a look before finally moving on, one of the girls staring at Alexis and then at Starscream until she nearly tripped over her own feet.

"So I could have…"

"Left well enough alone."

"I will remember that," she told him in a tight voice, glaring at him one more time before turning around and walking away into the last of the dispersing crowd.

"Next time you want to spend time with me, you only have to make a request," he called out to her departing form.

Alexis gripped her small bag and sped up. "Wipe your mouth off. You're bleeding again," the female notified him, her tone tainted with an open disdain that made his blood pressure rise and his mouth curl.

Sure enough, he was. The cut stung as he wiped his mouth, reminding him that there were three males that were due a lesson in superiority, of the facets of pain.

He had told Alexis the truth when he said he didn't need to kill them. But as in every truth there was room for distortion. In every question there was a potential for not asking the right thing.

The female should have never revealed her reasons for taking him away from the three men. Her truth had been a slight, an insult, a trigger, a mistake.

Alexis ought to have lied.


	8. Plunge

The Pit was overwhelming in its size, and yet despite that, staying on the dug out and tunneled out planet with space to spare even with all the humans residing there, Alexis felt trapped in a way that she never felt before. Not when she was kept as a slave on her own planet, not when Airaih had died and left her, or she had been on the Line's ship, not even when Sunstreaker took her to his ship.

Perhaps because it was self-inflicted, because it was necessary to be there in order to find her parents. No, there was more to it than that, that feeling of forceful containment assaulted her when she began to work for them, no for _him_. For Megatron.

And that sickened her and ripped her apart, making her question herself and what he could possibly want with the humans and their designated jobs, made her look for answers when others blindly worked on.

Alexis found nothing. Not a thing.

Her assignment of finding ores and buried Energon had been challenging to grip the basics of even after a short briefing of operations. But days of analyzing and figuring out the new operating system of the computer she was provided, of trying new things and seeing what each command function did, making mistakes and learning how to fix them, gave her a better grip on the functions of the main programming.

Not that that helped any.

Stuck inside a cubicle of a space, beside many other cubicles, at least given with the ability to soundproof her station, she worked diligently, hating every time she located a source of material, the programming automatically informing who knows who, to do who knows what with what she found, at least it would have if Alexis didn't hurry up and press cancel every time.

She was here to find her parents, not aide the Decepticons. But it would be only a matter of time before her excuse of a newbie didn't cut it as a reason for her incompetency.

If only they knew who they were really working for. How she wanted to tell them, no matter the consequences.

But she didn't, knowing that opportunity would arrive soon enough.

* * *

Finding yet another stockpile of buried Energon, tired and almost through for the day, Alexis almost shut her console off, only to peer closure at her holographic monitor.

Her last scan had yielded coordinates on level 36B on the planet. This new one, directly below it, a small section on level 37A. Or what should have been 37A, because the coordinates still stated 36B even though it was clear they were different levels and areas. The first glitch she had ever seen and almost missed, Alexis stared at it in puzzlement.

There was no level 37 on The Pit.

* * *

Alexis knew she could have been wrong. But looking at the planet's schematics, she identified that she was not. Making her way down to level 35 took longer than if she had bothered asking one of the consoles for directions, but Alexis knew she didn't need to advertise what she was doing, even if it turned out to be nothing.

Alexis had to take stairs the rest of the way to the newly dug out level 36, making her way to area B. The level was empty and silent and dark, making her cautious and more than a little paranoid.

She was starting to believe that she should have told someone where she was going, a mistake in a lot of the mystery novels she had read. After contacting her brother, only to be redirected to Thundercracker as Josh was out of range, she told him where she was headed.

Alexis found area B. She also found someone standing there, unmoving and silent and intent on staring at the end of the closed off wall. She didn't feel panic although maybe a little fear, for she knew who it was even with their back to her.

Starscream turned around, his brow raised and his eyes washing down her body as his mouth curled up. He held some sort of scanner in his left hand that he quickly turned off and pocketed before leisurely walking toward her.

"There is no level 37," he informed her as if knowing why she was there, changing his direction and heading toward the thin railing that was in front of her, bending his body over and looking down.

She joined him and did the same, finding nothing but a blackened abyss of a long dark hole that made her back up quickly. Starscream chuckled at her actions, turned around and leaned against the railing that looked even thinner and far less secure than it did before gazing at what wasn't beyond and below it.

"Why would you be looking for level 37?" Alexis asked. With her question, his smile turned into a grin. He tilted his head. Starscream watched her as she imagined a snake would a mouse, his tongue brushing against his lower lip, his dark eyes narrowed.

"I am an expert at isolating anomalies." He shrugged his shoulders, placing more of his weight on the railing, his hands gripping the bars behind his back. She suddenly imagined him falling over. The way he held the bars behind his lower back, just a little slip and he would go toppling over. The thought made her queasy. "Thirteen separate reports to the mining department for a level that doesn't exist, makes one curious does it not?"

She didn't ask how the Seeker got his information. Alexis didn't care. A thought entered her brain and then forced its way out of her mouth.

"You are here for Megatron."

The amusement washed away from his face, leaving a hostile expression behind that made a tremor escape down her back. She backed away, suddenly feeling that none of what she was doing was such a good idea. And being alone with Starscream again was certainly something Alexis hadn't been pursuing.

She got all of three steps, and had been in the process of walking away, when he grabbed her, thrust her against the side wall that connected to the end of the rail and covered her mouth with his hand.

He blocked her rising knee, caught her flying hand and leaned heavily against her, his warm breath sliding down the skin below her left ear.

"Struggle or stay still, you _will_ remain here," he threatened her. His right hand grabbed to her hip, the other tugged her hands between their chests. "You were followed," he told her with disgust and disappointment. His sharp eyes looked far beyond her, seeing and probably hearing things she was incapable of. Alexis stilled and managed to get her hands back, still feeling the presence of his fingers that now rested heavily on her thigh.

"Put your hands around my neck," he suddenly commanded, his lavender eyes burning in the darkness, landing on her. She swallowed hard and shook her head. He huffed out a puff of air, twisted her around and against the railing. "I can just disengage my holo-form," he told her as he twisted his wrist back and forth, peering at it with intent. "You however, they will kill you once they realized what you have figured out."

"I haven't…"

"Enough," he hissed and glared at her. Not believing she dared to argue. "Do as I say, or I will leave you here to face what you have so foolishly walked into, and are so unprepared for."

"I…" she began. Her argument died when Starscream cocked his head as if he had heard something. Suddenly she was picked up, and before Alexis could scream out, Starscream climbed effortlessly over the railing, jumping into the abyss below, taking her with him.

* * *

Alexis wanted to find out what Megatron was up to with all the humans on The Pit, not be dangling over some unending hole, attached to the side chasm wall with a thin coil that had sprung out of Starscream's wrist and buried itself into the thick rock bed.

As soon as Alexis got her breath back, she tightened her grip on Starscream, her legs wound around his own, her hands around his neck. She tried not to look down, she did. But she couldn't help herself.

"I wouldn't recommend that," Starscream whispered to her, his shadowed gaze mocking her. She didn't listen. Suddenly looking down was far better than looking at whom she was with.

Her grip on Starscream tightened. Alexis' heart pumped tightly beneath her chest and neck, anxiety making her breath come out loudly. She had been right. Starscream was not as thin as he appeared. Alexis felt the hard muscle beneath her grip, felt the power that was his strength undulate on the surface of his flesh.

He was going to let her go. Going to drop her, she was sure of it. Nobody followed her, no, _he_ followed her. No, that didn't make sense because he was there before she got there. But still, he worked for Megatron, so whatever he thought she had figured out, it was he that would silence her, not some unknown and unseen person.

But then she heard the sound of someone moving above, of pausing and searching, of walking away.

"You didn't believe me," Starscream spoke after several long minutes. His arm was wrapped securely around her back, his fingers testing along her spine. She shivered and bit on a gasp at the strangeness of his touch, her emotions churning with a sensitive awareness.

Alexis wasn't exactly afraid of heights, but at the moment she was terrified of the nothingness that was beneath them. She thought of Aaron, of Josh, even of Thundercracker, at a loss, and overcome, so terribly aware of Starscream's hold on her that she was sure was going to loosen at any moment.

"You're too close," Alexis spoke nonsensically, his chest rattling against her own when he began to chuckle.

"And you are trembling. If you wish me to let…" he started to drop his hand off her back, forcing Alexis to bury her body against his own, her head tuck under his chin.

Starscream gulped soundly, a faint hiss skittering hotly against the shell of her ear. He kicked off the side wall, making them twist and turn and turn again on the metal rope, the motion halting when her back was against the wall instead of his own. It was then that she noticed the spikes that were coming out of the tips of his boots that allowed him to anchor to the solid rocks.

He had been close before, but now it was even worse. Alexis was suffocated by his body, by the steady cadence of his breath, unable to push him away, unwilling to let go.

"I'm not going to let go, _yet,_ " he said to her, the words stilted and strange and even teasing, as if he was trying to reassure her, even though it was an obvious threat.

She was able to look up at him now, aware of how much she was shaking, no matter how hard she tried to stop. His face was dark and shadowed, the paleness of his skin glimmering in small streaks of light that came from a distance above. His eyes glowed unnaturally in the darkness. They captivated her, rendering her unable to look away.

"You are terrified," he said to her, not amused or even spiteful, just observing her. He suddenly grabbed hold of her again, swinging them both to a nearby ledge. The coil wound up into his wrist, disappearing as if it had never been there. The spikes retracted into his boots. He didn't let go of her arm, didn't say anything about how long it took for her to let go of him.

"If you are to be Thundercracker's lover, you will need to get over your fear of heights."

She didn't say anything, but Alexis heard him, his voice dim and almost far away as she tried to gather her breath and still her body, as the twirling motion inside of her gut and head slowly dissipated.

By the time she found her equilibrium and opened her eyes, Starscream was right before her. His left hand was twisted in her hair, his other sliding back and forth and then under a large tear on her shirt on her right shoulder.

"You have very delicate skin," he murmured. "It's a wonder I didn't _break_ you," the Seeker told her, his tone rumbling and soft and almost gentle, his effective voice lulling her into a state of awareness that made her heart begin to race all over again. He dropped her hair, ignored her efforts to move to the side, his thumb grazing her mouth and falling away.

Starscream held onto her shoulder, the tips of his perfect fingernails drawing a line along the exposed skin. He inhaled deeply.

"It would be so easy to kill you right now," Starscream let her know, stepping away from her, his back lengthening as he outwardly tensed, his mouth pressing into a thick line. "I _want_ to kill you," he added, as if what he just said wasn't enough. A smile came out of nowhere, bending his mouth and showing off his white teeth in a brilliant smile. He dropped his eyes back to her own. "But doing so would be so… _obvious_ and too easy."

"I'm sure that hasn't stopped you before." Alexis found her voice and used it, her words heavy and full of accusation.

His smile dropped. He took three small steps, forcing Alexis to back away with what little room she had. With him looming before her, the ledge seemed to shrink and darken. His shoulders lifted, his back sharpened, his eyes trapped her own.

"Now, female. You will tell me why you were here, and what you think you know." His words were an order, his tone overbearing. He didn't need to openly threaten her, his suffocating presence, the hint of violence that lined his words, the danger he emanated, she knew what he would do to her if she didn't cooperate.

But Alexis found she wasn't in a cooperative mood.

"So you can report back to Megatron?" she said to him, her words low and aggressive, and very, very stupid.

Starscream curled his fingers into his palms and took a long bracing breath of air. His eyes narrowed. He took a step closer to her, slapping his hand on the wall above her left shoulder. He leaned forward.

The Seeker spoke slowly, enunciating what he said with far more hostility than she was prepared to deal with. "I'm _not_ here for _him_. I'm here for _me_. Now tell me what I want, so that I convince myself that saving you was not a wasted effort."

"Why did you save me?" Alexis suddenly asked, now that her mental facilities were coming back, she felt more inclined to ask her own questions.

"A misfortunate impulse."

"That wasn't impulsive," she argued, causing him to glare at her in return.

"Perhaps not. But your argumentative nature is making me want to do other _impulsive_ things. I suggest you tell me what I want to know right now, or I will leave you here." He took several steps back, the coil shooting up and out of his wrist and digging into the floor below the rail of level 36B.

Alexis knew he spoke the truth. Fear of being left there wasn't what had her telling him, but an agitation at her own incapabilities, also the curiosity of hearing if she was right.

"If I had to make a guess, I would say that not only is this planet set up to scan and find resources here, but elsewhere, perhaps other planets. But why have us do it remotely when it would be so much easier to do it on site?"

Starscream stared at her blankly, analyzing what she had said with what he obviously knew. He motioned for her to come closer. Alexis didn't want to but she had no other choice. Tugging her roughly toward him, the coil began to wind and tauten before lifting them upward. Alexis ignored the way he kept his eyes on her, ignored the way he nudged her closer, focusing on keeping her gaze upwards and on their destination.

"You'd be best to stop pursuing things that don't concern you," he told her. "Or you _will_ be killed."

She couldn't ignore those words though.

* * *

Alexis didn't expect Starscream to trail her all the way back. The Seeker's presence was oppressive now that he had turned silent, and she couldn't help but keep looking behind her, suspicious of his suddenly sullen nature.

Thundercracker met her on level 27, staring at Starscream with the same suspicion she had been. He stopped her and waited for Starscream to pass. Starscream was mumbling something under his breath, but didn't pay them any mind.

"I've located your parents," Thundercracker told her, causing her gaze on Starscream's back to shift back toward TC. Thundercracker looked over his shoulder at where she had been staring, but didn't remark.

"How?"

He told her, something about search subroutines he had created to block out all the neighboring ores and Energon, along with bypassing security directives. But she wasn't really paying attention, just trying to catch up with the overwhelming fact that her parents had been found, that she wouldn't have to be trapped much longer. Not on The Pit, not with Starscream again. That with the Autobots help, they could free these humans, open their eyes to the truth. She could return to Aaron and Sharaih, return to Renth.

She caught TC looking at her torn shirt, the light bruises along her arms. Alexis cringed, her stomach coiling with how intently he examined her. She wasn't accustomed to someone being _that_ concerned for her since Airaih. For a complicated but unexpectedly peaceful moment, she found herself highly distracted by the man who stood beside her. His brown hair was attractively disheveled, his sharp gray eyes focused. For the first time Alexis noticed how elegant his face was, from his firm jaw and intelligent brows, his pronounced cheekbones. Why didn't she allow herself to observe this sooner? What was it that made her finally see him? Alexis had the intense desire to take him back to her quarters, to be covered by him, to be full. She hadn't wanted such things for a long while, and the idea left her lightheaded and warm.

"He didn't kill me," Alexis said when Thundercracker began to back up and head toward Starscream, who had stopped and was staring at them openly. "He might have even saved my life," she expanded.

" _Might_ have?"

"I still don't know what side he is on."

"His own."

She nodded her head. Unwilling to look at Starscream, lingering talons of terror still hovering on the surface of her brain. But her parents had been found, and her feet were on solid ground which allowed her to feel relief, then an unexpected happiness that she couldn't contain.

"Let's go get Josh and find my parents."

She wanted to thank TC, but suddenly couldn't speak. She still felt overwhelmed, and not just from the news of her parents. Alexis' fingers made contact with Thundercracker's and folded between them. He stiffened, his eyes lifting up to her own with a question, staring so hard that her skin itched. Believing she was making him uncomfortable, Alexis began to relax her hand only for Thundercracker to grab it again, leading her to the nearest lift.

Alexis felt greater relief when they began to ascend. She may not have had a fear of heights before, now she wasn't so sure.


	9. Discussion

"You are in love my sister," Josh said, his voice a whisper of an utterance that proved what he said confused him greatly.

It was now day two of their four day journey to the other side of The Pit to find the siblings' parents. TC had barely seen Alexis or Starscream during that time. If he didn't know Alexis better, he would have been suspicious and vengefully curious until he found out where the two had gotten to. But he felt Starscream and knew he was busy searching and analyzing the data he'd found on The Pit. Alexis, according to her brother, was catching up on the cataloging of some recent plant samples she had gotten on Renth.

Josh hadn't been nosy, but now having spent some time together, the male was getting bolder, shooting to what was obviously on his mind. The male was staring at him, twisting a small ring on his finger, the light scar on his face more visible under the natural lights of the dining car.

They were traveling on the planet's only form of transport for long distances, a hover-train that Starscream had made sure they had to themselves. Each of them had their own compartment, the dining car the only room they all shared or passed through.

Alexis' brother had been asking Thundercracker questions, about his time with the Decepticons, which he evaded, about his time on Earth, which he managed to deflect, more questions coming even though the male was starting to understand just how little TC was revealing. The male had changed his tactics though. His questions had turned into statements that he expected to get more of a reaction from.

Josh spoke up again when Thundercracker only offered a blank stare, "And my sister _cares_ for you," the male stated with bewilderment, with narrowed eyes, with anguished accusation.

TC blinked hard, his back becoming absolutely rigid. He repositioned himself on the cushioned bench, feeling Josh's eyes on him and not leaving. Hearing about the female's feelings from her brother was peculiar, was making his mouth want to twitch up. But he already knew that Alexis cared for him in some manner. It was _how_ Josh had said such a thing that made the Seeker mentally pause.

Josh returned to reading his book until he shut it several minutes later. He sighed, stretched his shoulders and returned his attention back to Thundercracker, bluish green eyes surveying him with intent.

"Is it possible to track where your real body is located if one got hold of your holo-form?"

That was a very specific question. Josh narrowed his eyes, crossed his arms over his chest and scooted on his side of the bench so that he was directly in front of where TC sat inside the shared booth.

Thundercracker didn't feel the need for subtlety. "Do you plan to turn me in?" he asked stoically.

Josh cringed at his forthright rejoinder, swallowed loudly, brushed his hands through his hair in a distracted manner before he managed to bring his eyes back on the Seeker.

"Starscream is _dangerous_ ," Josh said in a hush of a tone after a couple long moments. His tone was reflective, filled with a thin layer of aggression that he wasn't able to block. "And being here with him has made me remember just how much." Josh blinked hard as if he had momentarily forgotten who he was talking to, his brows bunching with awkwardness. He spoke quickly, "I mean, I know you are dangerous too, but the _good_ kind of dangerous. And my sister trusts you."

What the male said was foolish and naïve, but that didn't stop Thundercracker's mouth from trying to bend upwards again at the mention of Alexis, his muscles straightening hard against his mental resolve before bending into a reproachful scowl.

He decided he would reward the sibling with a tidbit of data. "I was with the Decepticons as soon as I got my first upgrade," TC told Josh, watching the boy's interest spark up all over again as he answered one of his many questions that he hadn't bothered to over the last two days. "I did have the opportunity to join the Autobots. I did not."

"Why not?"

"Megatron's offer was more compelling."

"Do you plan to join the Autobots now?"

"No."

"And once this is over? Once we find our parents?"

"What I do next is up to your sister."

The male blanched. Josh didn't seem to like what he said at all. He scooted back on his seat and swallowed a long sip of water from his bottle. He tilted his head. His mouth set into a hard line.

"My sister obviously has no problems with inter-species relationships, but she also hasn't seen anyone since she lost her husband." The male seemed to want to say more, but he could be quite selective about what he did say, especially when it was important to him.

" _Seen_ anyone? Her vision is normal for a human her age."

Josh laughed at that, his mouth remaining partially uplifted after. The action softened the lines that had drawn on his face, making his eyes shine. "Seen anyone, as in be in a relationship." The buoyancy dropped out of his words. "As in Aaron comes first after God, before her family, before anyone else. If you even expect to have a chance with my sister, you must consider Aaron."

"Are you giving me _advice_?"

"I'm telling you how it is. I see the way my sister is around you, before and now." Josh sighed. "And while I still believe what you want from her is impossible, that doesn't mean that will stop Lex if _she_ wants to be with _you_." Josh rubbed the space between his eyes. "You have spent time with Aaron. He's a great kid."

"He's had an exceptional mother."

Josh continued as if TC hadn't spoken. His words were firm and insistent, his focus on the Seeker absolute. "Alexis means everything to Aaron. She will _never_ leave him behind. And she would never allow him to be put in harm's way. Do you understand?"

"You think I am…"

The male nodded his head firmly, dared to cut in, "Dangerous. On our side or not, peril courts you and harms those around you."

"And yet peril finds you humans just as easily." Thundercracker stood to his feet, hands placed on the thick table between them. Their conversation was through. While he could admire the male's protectiveness of his sister, even approved, he had grown weary of this discussion. He spoke candidly, his inflections roughened with an inhospitably that he was far more inclined toward and preferred. He wasn't formatted for social conventions. "It's the affections of your sister I want, and neither hypothetical peril nor danger will influence me if she accepts me."

Josh blanched at his obviously unexpected display of hostility, proving once more that the male was disregarding and forgetting and so unprepared for who he really was. If he'd seen the unwavering commitment he'd executable toward projects Thundercracker didn't care for, Josh wouldn't have questioned exactly what he put into securing and protecting that which was his.

And if Alexis chose him... If she came to him...

Thundercracker felt a little winded at that prospect, yet violently resolved. No one, nothing, not a thing would keep him away from Alexis or from her son.

She was the only goal that mattered to him, the only person capable of stirring him up and making him consider the impossible. The only one that _had_ to be his. He could go on with his life without her, quite definitely.

He had just chosen not to.

* * *

Thundercracker knew that Alexis spoke to her son several times a day. Not needing any sleep, the Seeker returned to the dining car. Now empty and dark, he waited for the female to show up. She hadn't eaten anything that day. Alexis could put off eating when she got really busy, so TC knew it was just a matter of time before she came in search of something to reenergize her body.

"Still here?" Starscream walked toward TC's booth and settled across from him after raising the table and pushing it back in the wall. He stretched out his legs onto TC's side of the bench, his mouth still moving even though he said nothing. Suddenly a bubble formed out of Screamer's mouth that grew exponentially before popping and being pulled back into his mouth.

Thundercracker visibly flinched. Starscream grinned.

"I know. It looks entirely repulsive. But for some reason, also highly addictive." He shrugged his right shoulder. "It's the female's favorite flavor: grape. Took it from her sleeper." His tone turned playful, his lavender eyes sparkling. "Curious as to what exactly she puts in her mouth as much as I? The flavor that she has the potential to carry on that provocatively pink tongue of hers?" Starscream pouted when TC didn't respond.

"Have you tasted her?"

Thundercracker did not confirm.

"What was _that_ like?"

He said nothing.

"Slag, TC, do you work on being this dull, or does it just come naturally?" Starscream sighed dramatically, his mouth lowering into a heavy frown. Starscream's attention on TC turned severe with his next inquiry. "Are you aware of what the male has done? What is coming?"

"I am."

Starscream got up, flipped himself around and crashed beside TC. He continued to blow bubbles, the elastic polymer popping repeatedly, annoyingly, loudly.

"I find Alexis, diverting, curious, even stimulating. But she _is_ a _female_. And nothing she has or can offer will make anything you have done a worthwhile sacrifice." Starscream paused, gave TC a sidelong glace before grinning wide. "I tell you what, I will try her out for you, let you know how conventional the female is. At the rate you're going, she will have expired before you make your claim."

The Supreme Air Commander was goading him, and trying very hard at it. The effort was obvious and pitiful.

TC's response began with the tickling of his throat, his mouth opening as he began to roar with laughter. Starscream nearly swallowed his gum at that, looking fearful and flummoxed. It took him exactly 23 seconds before he was disturbed enough to leave the dining car, but not before glaring at him hard.

As soon as Starscream left, Thundercracker's laughter died.

* * *

Alexis never came to the dining car. Grabbing one of her favorite salads and some liquid, TC headed to her sleeper car. He pressed a small button. A minute later Alexis opened the door. Her skin was wet, her eyes red. Noticing her tablet on the opened bed, he saw pictures of her son, of Renth, of her family.

"Just a second," she told him.

Alexis shut the door and then opened it three minutes later. Her hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, her face washed. She led them past her brother's sleeper and to the dining car. He put the food down on one of the tables. She picked it up, went back to the cold storage and exchanged it for a candy bar, a soda and an alarming amount of what was supposed to be chocolate mousse.

Alexis stared out the window, the marker lights that lined the tunnels they were traveling inside flashed through the darkness, illuminating the female in sharp, short intervals.

He started to order the lights on. She waved her hand that it wasn't necessary.

Opening the candy packet, Alexis crumbled it into pieces above the sugary concoction, grabbed her spoon and dug in. She sighed, seemed to relax and then demolished the entire desert in record time, disturbing him when she went back for a second dose.

"That is an abnormal amount of sucrose. That could cause metabolic dysfunction," he warned her.

Her brow creased. "Metabolic what?"

" _Dysfunction_."

Alexis chocked on a chuckle, opened her soda and took a large gulp. She put the can down. "Whatever that is, I am sure I can't die of it. I would have heard of it. I am just stress eating, Thundercracker, not making a dietary change."

"Stressed?"

"As in I miss Aaron. As in I feel so unsettled and out of it. As in, I feel so alone." She lowered her head. Her voice softened. "I _am_ alone."

A spark of outrage ignited in his chest. He was with her. She was most certainly _not_ alone. He had to take a moment to calm himself and see reason, knowing she didn't mean to insult him.

"We will find your parents soon. You will be back on Renth soon, back with your son," he told her the truth. He'd seen Alexis discouraged and sad before, enough times to know he didn't approve of the emotional disarrangement. That didn't mean that he didn't want to protect or even deflect her from such reasoning that brought the female so low.

She sighed, took another large bite of her nearly gone desert. Alexis pushed the sugary substance away, not finishing it. Her attention was back on him. She seemed to be going over what he had just said. She seemed confused, no, surprised that he tried to mollify her melancholy.

"I know. But it doesn't feel like that right now." She looked at him, peering hard. "You look different in the dark." Alexis observed, leaning over the table to get a better look before pushing herself back against the plushy padding of the bench.

Alexis continued to look at him, her face passive. She turned her head and continued to stare out the window. Several minutes passed like that, neither needing to speak. Shifting back to face him, she turned her head along her right shoulder.

"You've spent some time with my brother lately," she spoke quietly.

"I have."

"He still doesn't know what to make of you."

"What do _you_ make of me?"

She placed her hands on the table and then dropped them. Alexis looked off to the side, appearing wistful.

"I like your company. I like you," Alexis told him openly. "I think you are beautiful," she whispered, blushing immediately after. Alexis spoke in a rush of words, "I mean your Cybertronian form astounds me, not that I am saying you make an unattractive human, because you most certainly don't, you just…" She put her hand in front of eyes, shook her head. "You need to tell me to shut up."

"I like the sound of your voice."

Her hand fell away at that. She smiled for the first time that night, causing his rib cage to tighten, his lungs to pinch. Yes, seeing her smile was far more effective than seeing her frown. He studied her emotions, her mannerisms, all the little nuances that made Alexis who she was, knowing he could have sat there indefinitely if it meant he could continue such a fascinating observation.

Alexis was predictable in some ways. She was hard to understand in others. She was mercurial; she was rigidly stable. She was a conflict of emotions and logic. She was so very human.

"Even when I do nothing but complain," she half-joked.

"Even when you ramble."

Alexis stuck out her tongue at him, making her blush all over again when she realized what she had just done.

"You _can_ see me despite the dark?" she wanted to confirm.

"I can."

Alexis cringed at that, then smiled wickedly. The female made a face, contorting her features as she screamed silently.

"Now?"

"Yes."

She pinched her nose, made another face at him, widening her eyes with her fingers.

"Now?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?" he asked.

Her fingers fell away from her face. She laughed. The sound was unexpected, but what it did to his insides was not.

"What does it look like?"

"The dark?"

"No. Everything else. I mean, do you use infrared, or something else? Do you see as if day or is it shrouded in red or something?"

"Something else," TC let her know. He always did find her curiosity diverting.

She laughed at his too simple answer, causing his skin to prickle. Alexis was quickly losing the morose disposition he had found her with. She brought her bowl back to her, scraped her spoon along the bottom and brought it up in front of her, holding the top of it with her finger, the bottom with her thumb and forefinger.

"Can you see me now?"

"I c…"

Her fingers moved. The spoon snapped forward. The chocolate mousse exploded against his right shoulder, making a sticky cold mess against his shirt. Alexis left the table and ordered the lights on.

She cringed when she saw him, shook her head and apologized. "You were supposed to block. I thought you said you could see what I was doing." Alexis grabbed a small cloth, opened a bottled water and poured some of the liquid on it.

"I was curious how good your aim was."

At that she laughed all over again. Swiping her hands in the air, she motioned for him to scoot over. She pushed the table out of the way and began to clean him up, only to sharply pull back.

"Wait a minute, can't you just…"

His holo-from flashed momentarily, his shirt now cleaned.

"Sometimes I forget that you aren't human."

"Sometimes I wish you didn't remember."

She flushed at that before smiling at him. This time his insides knotted, his skin vibrated and his heart rattled. TC didn't know which was more effective, her laughter or her smile, or the way she looked at him when she did either.

Alexis got up and threw the dirtied rag on a nearby sink. Thundercracker didn't expect her to return and sit back down beside him.

"Have you ever had family, Thundercracker? Have you ever married?" she suddenly asked him.

Unlike her brother, he felt inclined to answer the inquiry. The topic of her unexpected questions left him dazed, provoking that hope of his that he despised as it prophesied visions of a future where she took his offered protection, where she gave herself to him, and only him, her life signature altering in order to broadcast his claim on her. That conjugal band on her arm removed. Alexis and her son's life entrusted to him.

His distant spark surged with a burst of Energon, making his connection to his human form waver as his Cybertronian body fought for dominance of sensation. TC's consciousness slowly drifted back.

Thundercracker's voice started low and raspy, "I have never taken a mate, and while I did have what you humans would consider parents, they abandoned me when I was three cycles old. They could not afford nor produce the Energon needed to raise me."

"That's horrible."

"They were nearly being pragmatic."

She frowned at that. "Did you ever look for them?"

"No."

"Did they ever look for you?"

"Once they found out that I had become an Elite in the Decepticon army, they did. By then, they were of no consequence."

Alexis became quite silent. She lifted her head back up and studied him.

"I could never feel that way, not about my parents," Alexis finally spoke up, obviously disturbed by what he had said, by the casualness of his indifferent words. But he would not lie to her about something so trivial. "Did you ever forgive them?"

"Forgiveness was unnecessary. I do not hold grudges."

She bit her lip at that, green eyes catching his gray ones. "Then you'd be the first."

* * *

They conversed most of the night. And even when they stopped talking, she stayed with him. During the fourth hour was when the female scooted closer to him, her head resting against his chest and shoulder, her hand placed above his own. She could have returned to her sleeper, but she didn't. Alexis wanted to be near him. She was going to stay.

"You feel so real," she whispered at some point, the tone of her voice letting him register how exhausted she was, even if he didn't have the benefit of knowing that already from his continual scanning of her.

Her heart slowed, her breathing evened out, she fell asleep.

Thundercracker wrapped his arm more securely around her, then ordered the lights off. His eyes couldn't leave her still form, his fingers wouldn't stop drawing lines down the flesh of her nearby arm. He was having a ridiculously terrible time from trying not to grin.

Slag, he felt like a youngling given his first barrel of High-grade.

Only the rush was lasting decidedly longer.


	10. Traverse

To say he loathed someone wasn't saying much. Starscream loathed most everyone that wasn't a member of his Trine. Even his wingmates weren't exempt from his contempt. But they provided protection, watched his backpanel, and Warp and TC had managed to get him out of muck enough times to earn his, what was still, capricious respect.

He truly despised those that interfered with his trinemates, or otherwise took them away from his side. The human female had been on the top of that list. Until given a moment to truly contemplate, the Supreme Air Commander understood and remembered that Thundercracker had already been nurturing some well-hidden but hardly mistaken descent toward the Decepticon cause.

The Seeker had given the human too much credit. She didn't change Thundercracker. Alexis only illuminated the path that TC had been heading toward all along, pushing him toward life-altering inclinations sooner than what he would have done on his own.

Thundercracker had always held a wretched but highly present honor code. Starscream never bothered objecting since their goals, or that of Megatron, were still obtained. But through the mega-cycles the incidents of interference and unease had been growing, the subtle shows of intolerance building, as TC actually showed signs of highly misplaced mercy.

The Supreme Air Commander should have known something wasn't quite right when he realized that Thundercracker only terminated when necessary. But he knew his wingmate could enjoy it, knew TC could relish a good hunt, as he had both felt and seen it. He managed to ignore TC's indiscretions because TC was uncommonly rational, highly balanced and capable, efficient, and as was required to be a member of his Trine, a master of proficiency in many areas.

And while he was the same TC, he was so much different. The female may not have changed him, but she did influence him, had more power over TC than Starscream had ever managed, kept the Seeker at her side, made him want things that were never meant for any of them. She was poison, a virulent strain of goodness that needed to be purged.

Which made his liking her all the more confusing.

Starscream abhorred confusion.

* * *

Despite Starscream's time-frame that had been halved thanks to Thundercracker's ingenuity with search algorithms, and Josh's tenacity at having The Pit exposed, he had not only found what he had come for, but had it stored, backed up and ready to be analyzed.

He now knew all the locations of where Megatron stored his resources and troops. Knew what mercenaries he was currently utilizing and what jobs they were on, knew everything Megatron knew of the Autobots, knew what he had planned next, nothing momentous, which was disappointing, if not unsurprising.

What data he browsed through before transferring to his secured location was highly rousing. Was even more than he had been prepared to find. He felt empowered, unstoppable, felt… like he was being forced backwards.

The hover-train rattled and shook as it strained against the reversing course without deceleration, smoothing out so quickly that if one hadn't been paying attention, they would have never noticed.

Collecting his things, he made his way to the dining car. Josh entered on the other end. Both seemed to notice Thundercracker and Alexis at the same time. TC nudged the female awake. He ignored Starscream and her brother who seemed to freeze. Josh directed a solid frown at his wingmate before being turned in his direction with more force.

"We are reversing course," Josh spoke up, his words tight, his gaze not leaving his sister.

Alexis stretched and then moved past Thundercracker to look out the window. Her leg pushed past and then lingered against TC's knee, her hand comfortably close to his wingmate's.

"I can't tell," Alexis let them all know.

"We _are_ being taken back. If you want to know _why_ , if you don't _already_ know," he breathed with accusation and spite, "you should ask your _brother_ ," Starscream spoke snidely, watching the siblings carefully.

Alexis swallowed hard. She turned around and slid out of the booth. Confusion was written on her brow, her tone grave and cautious. "What have you done, Josh?"

The male human looked at TC and then Starscream before addressing his sister. His tone was resolved, was triumph. "I informed the Autobots of what is going on here. They have probably…."

Starscream interrupted, tired of the male's voice. Yes, he had _let_ it happen, knew what was to occur. That didn't lesson his frustration from the interference. He knew the brother despised him more than he feared him, a misfortunate mistake that had festered and led to this. "Started fighting the resident Cons. Which accounts for this train reversing course from a remote override, a security measure."

Josh scoffed, his words still directed at Alexis even though they were meant for him. "Fight? What fight? There are only a few Decepticons that I have seen, taking this place will be nothing."

He moved into the male's space, forcing Josh away from his sister. "Stupid human, what you can see and what actually is, are highly separate entities."

Alexis turned her attention toward her brother. She did not look pleased. The female abruptly left the room, coming back to the dining car with her pack and Josh's.

"Then we need to get off. We need to make sure our parents are safe." She threw Josh's bag at him, then pointed behind him. "Pull the emergency brake," she ordered. Alexis put her own backpack on, checked her staff and pulled out her departed husband's gun, put a cartridge in it and placed it in a holster along her upper thigh.

She checked something on her Vildan band, frowned tightly. "Put your helmet on, the oxygen levels are much lower outside," she commanded of her brother. He nodded his head, and did as he was told.

It seemed that Thundercracker was not the only one capable of efficiency. Watching the small human as she ordered and prepared and became resolved in her actions was electrifying, made Starscream want to be at the receiving end of her focus. And with the way TC's mouth parted and his breathed hitched, he knew his wingmate was thinking something even more wicked than he.

The train halted. A quick argument took place of who was going only for all four to get off. Starscream knew why TC was going, and while his reasons were similar as his, they were not the same.

* * *

The tunnels were dark and cold and dry. His skin itched and his chest burned, both which he eliminated with a quick re-programming to his holo-form. Josh took the lead, Alexis not far behind with Thundercracker, none waiting for Starscream.

Alexis though, kept looking behind her, her mask's light penetrating his area as she stared at him before quickly turning back around.

Sharing comms, they were able to communicate, yet no one really spoke.

"Thirteen hours," Starscream informed them, sounding off every hour on the hour, so that none forgot. They had been walking for three hours already, had slowed their pace twice, and if they kept slowing down their expected arrival time would be even farther off than Thundercracker had originally calculated.

The Supreme Air Commander didn't need to go. But he wanted to go. He was having far too good of a time watching Thundercracker, feeling Thundercracker, deciphering his emotional output and guessing his thought processes. He could have forced through their link, stole every thought and desire, but he didn't need to in order to know exactly what was going on with Thundercracker.

For a femme TC hadn't taken to his berth, she was a master of keeping his trinemate's attention.

Alexis was such a small thing, a curious thing, a foolish individual with highly irritating ideals. That didn't stop him from observing her. He'd watched her for extended periods before, but not for several hours at a time. Starscream had been far too busy before.

But now, _now_ …

He wanted to spark her. To touch her. He wanted to show his trinemate how ordinary she was, prove how quickly fascinations fade, prove how much time he had wasted on something so common. He'd felt his own energy pass through the femme before, remembered it quite vividly, and while it had been fascinating, it had been so wrong.

So terribly off.

And yet… _yet_ …

His heart raced as he looked at her back. His hands formed into fists when TC stopped the female from tripping.

She was accident prone too apparently.

And squishy. And soft.

So fragging human.

She was 30% expired, so close to death.

And she made his insides tingle and tighten, made him want to grab her, place her against the nearest wall and _own_ her as TC watched helplessly.

Yes, that would be delightful.

"Twelve hours," he announced to the group, his voice tiny and grainy.

TC was becoming agitated. He had Alexis slow down her pace and move farther away from Starscream. The Supreme Air Commander barked out a laugh at that. He felt TC. TC felt him. Highly satisfying, some times more than other times.

"We'll take a break in thirty minutes," Josh communicated, mainly to his sister.

"Why wait thirty minutes? You are obviously exhausted now." Starscream's tone was snarky, judgmental and rough. "At this pace we should make it to your parents just in time to hear a dirge performed."

The light from Josh's helmet descended on him. They both halted as the two waited for his sister and Thundercracker to catch up, who weren't even visible. Josh spoke tightly, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"What did it sound like?"

"Like you shouldn't be speaking to me or my sister."

"Is that an order, fleshy?"

"It is a preference." Josh stepped closer, but smartly maintained a distance. "Why are you still here, anyway?"

Starscream smiled, shook his head with bitter indulgence. "Because you are _incapable_ of making me leave."

"You might be surprised."

"Then _surprise_ me, human. I could use the _fleeting_ entertainment."

Josh frowned, gave him a look that could have had several interpretations, none very flattering. "But you aren't exactly human, are you," the male spoke with sound reason, more than the prepossessed violent organic should have been capable of. "You have far too many advantages." The male suddenly smiled, a gesture that was off putting. "But give me enough time and I will figure out…"

"How to do _nothing_ with even more efficiency?"

He expected that to rile the male, but he was obviously gaining a tolerance to the Seeker's verbal attacks, to his presence. Josh's attention turned toward the approaching pair.

"Do you hear that?" Alexis had stopped walking, her head tilted to the side. She placed a hand on TC's arm. Starscream's eyes narrowed and his mouth suddenly tasted bitter. Thundercracker remained predictably placid.

"Do you?" the female asked again.

"I don't hear…" Josh began to speak.

"Quiet…" she requested.

Starscream sensed it more than heard it. His scanners had already registered the anomaly and had compensated by activating the antigravs in his boots.

The sound she had heard increased as the oxygen from the tunnels was pulled and sucked out, whining as the atmosphere was drawn away. Unlike TC and Starscream, the siblings had no preventative measures from the vacuum of escaping air. Wind danced around and grew, rustling through the tunnel, increasing in pressure so quickly that the pair went from being pushed back to being pulled off the ground.

"Josh!" Alexis screamed out, reaching out for her brother even though he was too far away.

TC grabbed the female, pushed her into a small gap in the wall, protecting her from the worst. She actually fought against him, trying so hard to get away. His wingmate firmly pressed his body against the female's, the sound of his quickening heart vivid to Starscream's advanced audio receptors. A fit of enmity came. His blood rushed with a fury that caught him unaware from a desire to be in TC's place.

"Josh!" she yelled through the comm, actually whimpering. "Josh!"

Starscream's attention slowly drifted away from the female and to the male. Josh had managed to grab hold of a post, but his grip was loosening. The air whipped and pulled, the tunnels violently depressurizing, creating an undercurrent of rushing wind that was more than a match for anything that stood in its way.

In moments, Josh would let go, that was inevitable. The human would be sucked out of an inescapable air lock, cleared out with the rest of the rubbish, all because of a security measure that he had in part instigated. It was a well deserving fate, an irony.

Alexis pleaded with Thundercracker to do something. Then began to struggle all over again.

Josh's grip gave way. The human flew beyond and past them. Alexis screamed.

A thick cord shot and wrapped around the male's outstretched arms. Moments later, decompression complete, the flying human dropped awkwardly to the ground, still breathing, still very much alive.

"Eleven hours," Starscream proclaimed. No one seemed to hear.

* * *

"One hour," Starscream informed the far from animated group. He was ready for the trip to be over, to be out of the tunnel.

Josh being injured had slowed their pace dramatically, even after his dislocated shoulder was seen to by Thundercracker. He also had a broken wrist, a broken finger, _and_ he had his _life_.

Strangely, since the whole incident, they allowed Starscream to walk with them, no longer discarding him. He found that odd and unnecessary, found it uncomfortable, if not for the female who was paying more attention to him, and not just from shooting daggers at him, or imagining, what he was sure, was his painful death.

Close and confined with one another, he deliberated just ending his holo-form and completing what he had come for. But he had grown too curious about the parents of the siblings, of the female. He wanted to see whom they fought so hard to get to.

They reached the end of the tunnel. The hatchway was locked.

Starscream tried first to open the hatch, and failed. Thundercracker tried next and longer, but also didn't succeed. Their codes were refused. Something about their holo-forms was preventing them from doing anything further, they didn't have time to figure out what.

Taking a panel off the wall, peering inside, TC had the female take her small toolkit out of her pack, then gave her instructions on what to do. At some point, the female continued on her own.

Five minutes later, the hatchway slid open.

"Rivet." Was her only explanation of her exposed skills.

Starscream grimaced. He'd almost forgotten about that medic, but not how much he despised him.

* * *

The hatchway closed behind them, the small port filled with air. Alexis took her breathing mask off, took a deep gulf of air. Her skin was pale, her hair damp. Josh looked worse. But that didn't stop the male from rising to his feet and making a strained sweeping motion with his hand toward his sister.

When the male spoke it was with a tremor of excitement, "Ready to find mom and dad?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go."

* * *

"You are staring at me," Starscream spoke to the female who had hung back from TC and Josh, now walking alongside him. Her uncommon act of seeking him out left him with the feeling of empowerment. His mouth curved up, his eyes taking in her sensible boots and even more sensible clothes, a glimmer of sweat lingering on her neck and arms.

"I know," she replied, even managed not to frown at him. "I just... I wanted to…"

Alexis moved closer to him, she looked awkward and uncertain, as if unsure if she really wanted to say what she was trying to say. Suddenly she was touching his arm, then gripping his hand hard. Her chin lifted, her eyes sought his own.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice overwrought with emotion. "You saved Josh. I never expected, would have never believe, that is…"

He stepped closer to her. For once, she didn't back away. Yes, he would take advantage of this for as long as allowed. He did deserve the attention. And the fact that Thundercracker was trying not to watch them was even more delectable. TC was possessive of the creature. More than even Alexis was aware of. He did not like Starscream near her. But as it was the female that approached him, TC didn't interfere, just allowed his rancid mood to project toward Starscream long enough for him to understand his disapproval.

"His death would have served no purpose."

His words were ill-chosen. The Seeker knew that when Alexis cringed, when worse, she let go of his hand. He didn't mean to say such a thing again, and her reaction was just as displeased as when he had first said it, only this time more unfavorable, as if she had time to think it over.

"As could be said about the many that you sent to their end." She bit hard on her mouth. Shook her head. "I didn't mean…" She sighed hard, visibly fought to calm herself. "What you did… it was… Unexpected, was good." She took two steps back, lowered her head and looked at the ground. "I didn't know you were capable of anything so…"

"Selfless?"

She flinched and nodded her head. Green eyes lifted back toward him.

He chuckled. "I'm not. Do not allow one regrettable act to taint your view of me." He frowned, his eyes wandering with purpose down her frame. "And I do expect payment for my services rendered, preferably from _you_."

By the purse of her lips she knew exactly what he was insinuating. By the roll of her eyes she didn't take him seriously.

"Do you always do things expecting something in return?"

"I do."

"That's… sad."

"Sad?"

She shook her head. "As in, thank you for saving my brother. But what you want has never _ever_ been considered a form of payment by me."

"And what exactly do I _want_?"

He wanted to hear her say it. His skin bristled with anticipation.

"Something untoward, I'm sure," she spoke with accusation, the enunciation rolling off her tongue with gusto.

" _Untoward_?" He barked out a laugh at her word choice.

"Unethical?" She stiffened, then visibly bristled when she found he was still looking at her. He couldn't remember a femme that he had so much enjoyment just conversing with. Although he knew quite a few that knew exactly how to entice him just by speaking to him, using their effectual tones, their expertly chosen words, using just their mouths.

Alexis had such a pretty little mouth, a distracting mouth, had moments when her tone could dip just right or tremble just so, inciting a purity of lust. The female was unsullied, was far too virtuous, was so unaware of her own ability to rouse and to excite.

"Is that what you think of me?"

Alexis made an adorable little face at him, her mouth pressing into a provocative pout. "I try not to."

"And if you did?"

Her answer was swift, was infused with dark intonations, "I'd despise you."

He beamed at that. "Many do."

"That I have no doubt."

She smiled up at him. He grinned back.

Her mouth dropped open, her skin paled. Mumbling something unintelligible, Alexis scrambled back to Josh and TC.


	11. Troublesome

Four days to get to the other side of The Pit, two more to get to somewhere where people actually were, another to make audio contact with her parents. Deciding they would meet each other halfway, Thundercracker picked a safe area located on the north side that would allow them to exit The Pit quickly after.

Starscream kept them informed of the altercation between the Autobots and Decepticons, making sure they did not interfere. Probably more for his benefit than theirs, but they listened to him just the same.

She and Josh talked to their parents for hours after finally making contact, so much to catch up on, so much that could have happened that they were relieved did not. However, their grandmother had died days before the Decepticons' arrival, enough time to pass away believing that while the Earth wasn't perfect, at least it had the potential of still being there.

At first, their voices had been a chaotic sounding off of questions, until they managed to calm down. Then their conversations, while still desperate and excited were at least easier to understand.

It wasn't until later on, after having the opportunity to talk to her mom all by herself that Alexis identified how much time had passed, almost a decade. Ten years of not having seen her parents, almost that long of believing them dead. She had hoped for so long, prayed so desperately. But one couldn't argue against circumstances, against them never being found, against a planet that had been poisoned. Or did she give up too easily? Did she believe the worst too soon? Did she not have enough faith?

Her parents were just excited that they had found one another. Alexis though, found herself excited, yes, but filled with blame and far too many questions. But she was used to having too many questions, and was able to disregard most. But she remained feeling cold and distant and filled with blinding regret, making her forget that they could still be in danger and that her parents were not safe yet.

She never even tried looking for them beyond going through every report of death and retrieval, never truly believe they even had the possibility of being alive, not after seeing the destruction of Earth first hand.

Sitting on the couch with her brother, inside an abandoned guest quarters, their journey done for the day, she watched her brother eat some instant soup. He had tried to get her to eat something, but after having walked all day, her thoughts simmering the whole while, Alexis couldn't stop focusing on what was so obvious.

"We should have looked harder." Alexis' hands folded over, her fingernails digging sharply into her clothed legs. She felt the prickling of tears build at the corner of her eyes. She wiped her eyes off with her sleeve.

"I don't think anyway could have looked as hard as we did, Lex." Josh put his soup down, scooted closer to her, letting her head rest against his shoulder, his hand finding and holding hers.

"We never searched though, never went looking for them," she continued, filled with a loathing for herself and her lack of actions. She had been so focused on her own circumstances at the time that she hadn't considered other possibilities.

Alexis felt Josh shake his head. "This was just a fluke, just a…"

"A fluke?" she echoed, her tone strained and tattered.

"A blessing of a fluke, but a fluke none the less. There was no knowing that the person that destroyed our planet would also, for whatever reason, keep so many alive, take them so far away. I guess even the murderer of our world didn't believe humans so useless after all." He squeezed her hand, grabbed his soup and put the still warm mug in her hand. "Eat the rest of this. Go take a bath. Get some rest," he suggested. "When's the last time you slept well?" Josh inquired. He patted her knee. "And stop blaming yourself for something that is no one's fault. It only makes you anxious and us worry. Even Starscream was actually looking concerned," he added as if a joke, even though it was quite evident that distressed him.

He got up, stretched his legs and offered her an understanding frown. "There are some things I have to go over with Thundercracker…"

"I will come with you."

He shook his head, pushed her back down on the couch. "No. Do as I said. We are going to be seeing our parents tomorrow. God has given us a great gift, a miracle. Now isn't the time to spread the blame, to feel sad. It's a time of joy." His entire expression changed, the softness bleeding out of his skin. "And let's not forget whom we are traveling with. If you _really_ want to play the blame game…"

"I forgave Thundercracker a long time ago."

"I wasn't talking about him," Josh let her know, his tone turning dark and cold.

Alexis felt the need to comfort her brother all of a sudden, to offer what little reassurance she could. They were in this together. She wasn't the only one dealing with things. "This will all be over with soon."

"I know. But I never wanted to kill anyone until I met Starscream. I mean what is the second in command to Megatron doing _here_? And if I thought the way Thundercracker looked at you was scary enough, well… I've never said so many prayers of protection before." He silenced himself when he caught Alexis staring at him. The blood had drained out of her face, her brother's impassioned words more terrifying than comforting.

"Sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck, full of contrition. "I guess I have made it quite clear that I don't like that guy, that _Con_. And I _really_ miss Cynthia despite our daily vid chats. Just be careful, okay. And keep your weapons close."

"I don't think he means to kill us."

"Him murdering someone isn't what I am afraid of."

With those spine tingling words, he left her alone, joining Thundercracker in the shared outer room.

* * *

The bath helped. Alexis hadn't taken one since leaving Renth, and while the tub was small, it still soothed her tight skin. Her thoughts took a while to still. The hot water finally seeping so deep inside of her, loosening her stiff muscles and allowing her to relax for the first time in days. She drifted off.

Only to wake up several long minutes later when Alexis realized that she did. Emptying the tub a little, she filled it up one more time, sitting there until the water no longer felt comfortable, but hot.

Changing into her last set of clean clothes, Alexis sat down on the rim of the tub, idly brushing though her tangled hair. She then repacked her stuff, went to the dining area and heated up the leftover soup on the stove and poured it into her bowl. She sat down at the table.

She would eat this, and then try to get some sleep. She was exhausted, more than she realized. She'd been up too long. Rest was what she needed to clear her mind, to exercise the demons. Her head falling forward, it sprang back upward when someone took the seat across from her.

"You have bathed," Starscream practically purred. He leaned his chin against the back of his hand, his elbow resting on the table as he gazed at her. His clothes were now entirely black, accentuating his agile form and making him resemble a creature of the shadows. The Seeker's appearance was something she could have appreciated, from his ultra pale skin, to even his sleek looking boots that she momentarily coveted. But the effect was mostly lost on her as she was suffocated by the weight of his imposing presence.

Alexis could have asked how he got there, what with her brother and Thundercracker blocking the front entrance. But he wasn't human, not even close, which he seemed apt to remind her of at every opportunity. She continued to eat her soup, finding the flavor had vanished. Alexis quickly finished it and placed the bowl on the counter.

"And now I am going to sleep," Alexis informed him, saying the words firmly.

He chose to ignore her. Chose to say things that while strange, were also, in a perverted sort of way, fascinating. "You make me degrade myself, this… _wanting_ of you," he told her, his tone a raspy lure. He did have an interesting voice, even a little high-pitched it was different, commanding, made one want to pay attention, or, like right now, want to scratch out those beautiful eyes of his.

"Come here," he told her, making her freeze completely. She would have to pass him to get out of the small kitchen, and suddenly that seemed like a task she wasn't empowered to do. Especially not with his hands calmly folding together like they were, his eyes that of a bird of prey, daring her to try to bolt, wanting her to run.

"I just want to go to sleep," she repeated again. Her eyes swept over the small room, trying to find a quick exit, hoping a closer one would appear even if by magic.

"And I just want to do highly repulsive things to you, in this body, in my other." He narrowed his eyes, gripped his long fingers to the edge of the round table and let out a deep breath. His sharp eyes traveled from her head down to her belly and then back up to her eyes. "Now, _Alexandra_ , come here," he repeated. The first time had been an order. This time was a threat.

" _I_ degrade _you_?" Alexis snapped back, her exhaustion still swimming around the edges of her brain, making the encounter with Starscream feel as if a distorted waking dream. "I think you have me confused for Megatron, or your _own_ actions."

"You speak far too boldly for someone of your diminutive size." Again, his eyes flicked down her body.

Alexis was suddenly reminded of the conversation she had with him after he saved Josh. It didn't seem so humorous now. She would do anything for Josh, anything for her family, would have sacrificed anything, given her own life. But with the danger past, and her brother alive, all she had was a plaguing gratiitude toward the Seeker that made her feel beholden toward him.

She understood quite well why Josh had such a difficult time with the Seeker, and now that he owed his life to him, well, it was an outright perversion of circumstances. Someone like Starscream wasn't supposed to show mercy, or reveal a selflessness of character, wasn't supposed to save lives.

But his insidious ulterior motives certainly made up for his rare shows of humanity. Buckling down her irritation, she took a couple of deep breaths and willed her hands to stop trembling. She felt such affront though, couldn't believe he actually expected her to obey. His words were a humiliation, filled with degradation and spite. That really wasn't what did it for her.

"I suppose you prefer people to lie to you."

He offered her an indulgent half-smile. "If I get what I want, I have no difficulties with such an arrangement."

"I'm not interested in you."

His smile stretched and grew. "You are lying again."

"And you aren't going to be able to trick me into 'cleaning' you, so there is no point to any of this."

"There is rather a _solid_ point to this. I assure you."

She snorted at that, the uncomfortable feeling sliding into an area of great disbelief. She laughed at him. Laughed at everything he said. Unfortunately, that only made him stare at her even harder.

Alexis took a couple of steps closer, watching him watch her movements. She spoke firmly, tried to speak carefully, but what he said had twisted something loose inside of her that didn't appreciate being buried. "I recommend you find a different human. Or have you forgotten all the things you have done? Have _tried_ to do to me? I mean you even _poisoned_ me, wanted to own me! And let's not forget what you did to Earth and…"

"Not _that_ again," he actually complained.

She huffed out a tight ball of air, narrowing her eyes, not believing he actually interrupted the very relevant things that she had been trying to say. Alexis had only one response to that, "You really do make me sick."

"Does that mean _no_?" he asked her, his tone riling her even further with the undertone of merriment.

"It means I'd like to poke you in the optic."

"Eye."

"Whatever." She shook her head, pushed her wet hair behind her ears. "I can't talk to you anymore. And I recommend you stop talking to me. Now let me pass."

Starscream frowned at that, straightened up in his chair. "That I do not desire."

"Fortunately that isn't the deciding factor on what I do."

He stood up. Alexis' hand went to her rod, ready to use it if he didn't let her pass, if he tried to touch her. Starscream stilled. But then he smiled, his whole face structure changing as he did so. He was really quite devastating when he tried to be, far too visually striking.

So were all the Cybertronians turned human. It was a form of a weapon, she was sure. And despite that she had been married, had become familiar with what her body could do and was capable of, this verbal sparring still felt like new territory to her, like someone unfamiliar that she didn't want to know where it could lead. Not that they were going anywhere with his bungle of an approach. His unwarranted solicitation only ticked her off and not in the good way.

Alexis suddenly had the great urge to call out to her brother, to TC, to put this proud Seeker in his place. She was quite surprised that TC hadn't come to her side already. He seemed to know exactly when Starscream was getting too close. Not this time. But she didn't need someone else to handle pests for her.

"No one knows," Starscream let her know, as if peeking inside her head and reading her thoughts. "No one has to know."

"Know what?" she asked from frustration before she meant to, knowing exactly what his answer was going to be, not wanting to hear.

He didn't say anything though, just took a large step and grabbed to her elbow before she could react. Electricity shot up her arm, making her head fall back, her mouth to open in a silent scream.

"That didn't…" Starscream mumbled to himself, let go of her elbow, the feeling as if she had placed her fork in an open socket washing away from her body. It was momentarily relief, for he reached for her again, now grabbing to both of her arms.

This time it wasn't just electricity that shot through her entire body, but fire. Her body trembled and shook, her vision went hazy. Alexis still couldn't move. Something warm and thick trickled down along the side of her mouth.

He cursed in Cybertronian and let her go.

She pushed him back as hard as she could, and slapped him even harder. She was out of breath, and seeing black spots, a dizziness and assault of lingering pain making her sway and tumble forward. Alexis knew she was going to be sick, hopefully on him.

"You're hurting me!" she screeched out, her voice breathless and weak. She wiped her nose off, startled by the blood that smeared her fingers. The Seeker was trying to do the same thing Sunstreaker had done to her all those years ago, only… only… Alexis tried to get her thoughts in order, but her mind was in anarchy.

Starscream appeared stunned, his hand on his cheek, his attention turning disturbed as he noticed the patches of red on her nose and hand.

"This isn't working," he told her, his tone highly displeased, even critical, but mostly disappointed. "Your bio signature, while distorted, is simple enough for my energy to adapt to and to counter. Perhaps it is this human form that hinders the energy overload and that adversely affects you, which in turn creates an incompatibility beyond the seen complications."

She spoke as soon as the room stopped gyrating, "I told you I didn't want you!"

"Yet what your body conveys is entirely different." His fingers brushed over the discoloring on his cheeks, the unnatural tint disappearing with a shake of his head, flawless skin left behind. "How long has it been since you had the benefit of a male, that you even desire me, me who you cannot stand and wish dead?" He sighed. "I suppose I will have to use more involved methods in order to have you. You are really quite lovely when you try to fight what you so obviously desire."

Alexis felt sick all over again, knowing that she did not want him, knowing she had heard similar words before. And being reminded of Sunstreaker again and at such at time and with such a person, really made her stomach churn.

He stepped toward her. She barred him with an outreached hand. Alexis grabbed her staff and lifted it up and swiped it out, now extended and ready to be used, her reluctance to engage diminished.

Color lifted on his face, his pupils dilated. His hands came toward her. She was ready though, but her reaction time was off, her movements sloppy and distorted and marred by the lingering numbness that shallowed the pain. Alexis struggled, got him in the side and on his shoulder with two sharp jabs of her rod. He didn't stop, didn't relent. He pushed Alexis against the table, trapping her with his body.

Her gun was by the couch she had been resting on, her coolant band blocked by his gripping fingers, her staff lost in the tussle. But she could feel the weapon resting by her left foot. Alexis felt weak and drained and pissed off beyond measure. All the Seeker did was talk though, on and on as if he got off on the sound of his own voice. She used that time to prepare herself, her left foot creeping forward.

"You _like_ Thundercracker. You want _him_." Starscream rasped as if this was some great fault, as if she was blind and stupid. He frowned tightly, seemed to have a hard time figuring out what to do with his hands and fingers, which now spread out on the table beside her. "I should tell you of his numerous conquests, his unending sexual exploits." Starscream made sure she was looking at him, tugging at her when her gaze shifted, his lavender eyes implacable and mirthless.

"He has had more femmes than you would ever be able to imagine in that small _human_ mind of yours, used them and discarded them, _ruined_ them, has his pleasure and took his pleasure from." He pressed his hand down on hers. She pulled it out from under his. He grimaced and glared, his tone rising with bitterness. "Are you so blinded by his show of devotion, or just _loose_ and insatiable and _moralless_ when it comes toward what you desire? You forget as well, that he stood by my side when your planet and your people _burned_. Has done and will do, so much worse," he finished with zeal.

"I don't believe that."

He only cracked a smile at that. "Self-delusion only gets you so far."

"You should know."

And just like that she found herself slammed back even farther on the table. One of his hands found her hip, the other resting soundly below her throat. He leaned toward her, lifted her chin and pulled away, then leaned forward again as if to say something, only to stop again, only to back away.

"Another time then."

His fist crashed against the side of the table, blood splattered across her cheek, the side of the table splintering beneath his powerful blow.

And then he was gone.


	12. Resolution

Starscream wouldn't stop looking at her. Alexis refused to look at Starscream. The tensity between Starscream and Alexis was making a dark, uncomfortable feeling crawl inside TC's bones, rendering him with a vindictiveness that left him feeling estranged.

And when Alexis fell back during one of their breaks, walking to Starscream and talking to him, that feeling that was related to jealously but far more dominant would not allow him to leave the two alone for long.

Starscream was looking at Alexis, amused but with a flicker of obvious offense. Alexis was speaking to the Supreme Air Commander, looking uncomfortable, defensive, her fingertips resting on the top of her holstered hand gun that was wound around her right thigh.

"There is no need for you to continue with us. We have almost reached my parents and…"

Starscream cut her off, his tone turning chiding and abrasive. "You prefer them not to meet me. To know that I _helped_ you."

Moving beside her, some of that unforeseen stress dissolved, but not enough. TC's feelings slipped through his facade of calm, causing him to glare openly at Starscream, some threats slipping through their link. Starscream didn't budge. But the side of his mouth curled in a manner that tried to convey that something had occurred between him and the female that he wanted Thundercracker to be aware of.

Thundercracker took Alexis' hand. A show of his intent, letting Screamer know that whatever it was, didn't matter. Alexis may have been tolerating the Seeker, but she did not like him.

Starscream's eyes narrowed sharply at his deliberate contact with the female. His mouth crashed down.

" _You will get nothing from her,_ " he told Starscream through their internal communication line.

" _I almost did last night_ ," Starscream gloated and began to smile all over again, even with it forced, and strained, surprisingly desperate. " _She really is quite the varninial wild cat, is she not_?" Screamer's brows lifted, then fell down with disappointment. The amusement he displayed in his words was a cover up for something that thoroughly stressed him. Starscream crossed his arms over his chest, widened his stance and rolled his head to the side, covering up his unease with practiced expertise. " _No threats? Perhaps I have overestimated your interest for this female_."

Starscream wanted to fight, craved violence and greatly wanted a confrontation. It was a residual inclination that made the Supreme Air Commander careless and highly dangerous.

That didn't stop TC though.

" _She can take care of herself. But I will rip off your wings, crush your fuel tank and leave you at Megatron's peds with detailed information of your past, and_ current _deeds, if you ever distress her again_."

" _That is more like it_." The threat calmed his wingmate. His eyes flickered toward Alexis, then down at his own hands that suddenly seemed fascinating, no offensive. " _And may be worth it_."

" _You don't stand a chance_ **."**

" _And you do?_ "

TC squeezed Alexis' hand, his thumb caressing her knuckles. Alexis looked up at him, her attention completely focused on him now. Starscream sneered, huffed out loudly and then crashed between the two, making sure to tear apart their hands.

"I am not going anywhere," he told the female as he stopped for a moment, looking at her over his shoulder. "However, if you would like to try to convince me otherwise, in _private_ this time," he gave TC a dismissive glance, a sneer of his mouth, "just let me know." He chuckled at his own words, the sound of his laughter trailing the Seeker's departing steps.

"I guess I knew that he would, well, act like he did," Alexis told TC. "I _really_ don't like him."

"Shall we continue?" Thundercracker held his hand out to her, needing her to take it. He was troubled, but not just because of Starscream's shows of rising interest. That unsettling feeling had come upon him all over again, making his breath shallow and his needs rise. He needed Alexis to understand him in totality. No doubts between them, no misinterpretations of intent, just a clear revelation of whom he was, of what he had done, of what he was going to do.

But he could not discharge his own doubts. The idea of rejection, or worse, revulsion, left him unresolved and inwardly spiteful.

His hand now holding hers, the two walked slowly, and it wasn't until several minutes later that he realized exactly what he'd been doing, oddly enough, without him even realizing.

"Uh, TC, you are…" Her words were ragged and soft, enunciating the flow of his energy that was escaping and trickling through their contact. The female wriggled her hand out of his, color budding in her cheeks with embarrassment. She looked down at the ground. With him watching her, Alexis became fidgety, her fingers curling, only for her to wrap her arms around her chest and then drop them to her side.

But then one of her hands unexpectedly lifted up and tugged down on his shoulder, gripping firmly to his shirt. She looked in his eyes, then shut her own, her mouth moved close to his. Alexis pulled back, then advanced even closer, her mouth ghosting over his and then pulling sharply back.

Alexis really did over think some things. And he despised indecisiveness, especially with her, like _this_.

His mouth followed hers. His hand made its way behind her back in order to secure her. He'd been allowing her to set her boundaries, dictate what he did, or didn't do, and while there was definite soundness in such a tactic, it was not one he could fully commit to any longer.

Thundercracker's mouth dropped firmly against hers, his knuckles pressing into her lower spine, urging her closer. She wrapped her other hand up and behind his neck, bringing them together. For a nonoclick his mind sharpened into a white landscape before his remote processor took off in a race of cataloging that identified the pressure of her body against his own, the softness of her curves that gave way to his firmness, how quickly her heart raced. He tried to figure out why her fingers pressing behind his neck made his flesh ignite, why her soft innocent lips made him heady and restless and desperate to the point of extreme inclinations that made him want to pull her back to the small alcove they had just walked by and lay claim.

But as abruptly as the contact began, it ended when her brother called out her name, wondering where the two were.

He didn't need to breathe, but it was a natural expectation from all humans, and one of the first protocols he had integrated in his holo-form along with blinking and standard heart rates. No need to go around without a pulse.

But even if Thundercracker didn't need to, he couldn't stop the quick breaths that scratched through his throat, nor the racing of his pseudo heart that made his chest cavity resound with the feeling of abandonment and loss.

Walking beside her, ignoring the two that were a good distance off and in front of them, he watched her fidget all over again, this time with a wayward strand of hair that had come loose from her ponytail.

Alexis was attracted to him. TC knew that with no doubt. She wanted him, not Starscream, not anyone else. And even as her life organ slowed and her steps became more solid, he had not doubt of his effect on her.

But that wasn't enough.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, two hours before reaching her waiting parents, Alexis spoke up, her voice was contemplative, "Nothing ever lasts."

The way her forehead wrinkled and her pace slowed was a clear giveaway that he wasn't going to want to hear what she was about to say. TC waited for her to continue on her line of thought, stopping the impulse to cover her mouth with his hand. He wouldn't silence her.

Alexis frowned, bit her lip, sighed softly. "I mean it can become so consuming, so… powerful, but it fades, or it… _dies_ , or it changes into something that while nice, familiar and secure, just isn't the same."

"You speak of love."

"Or passion."

He still didn't know where she was going. Dread filled the hollow of his bones, making his plasma push thickly through his life cavity.

Thundercracker's gut dropped away at her next words.

"We are good friends, don't you think?" She scrunched her nose and bit her lip again. Waiting for a moment for him to say something. She continued when he remained silent, her words quicker. "Passion can also screw things up, divide people, tear them apart."

He suddenly didn't care what she was trying to say. He was willing to give everything to her. But that would do no good with her lack of understanding.

"You underestimate my regard for you."

"And you look at me with too much familiarity," she spoke in a hush. Proving rather quickly that she understood his intentions quite well. Alexis wiped her eyes off, more distressed than he had realized. Her words were quiet and full of anxiety, of blame. "I don't think you understand what you are expressing in the way that you look at me."

"I _do_."

"Thundercracker, I…"

He grabbed to her shoulders, pushed her away from the path they had been on, his internal sensors sounding off several alarms. A group of Autobots was about to converge on their position, a hoard of Decepticon forces trailing after the invading Bots.

"What is it?"

"We need to…"

His words crashed away when he felt her hand brush down his face. Once more, but with more conviction, Alexis leaned into him, her hands wrapped around his waist, holding on tightly. This wasn't just a hug, but something different, a contact that could have led to more. He could have surrendered, could have easily slipped away into the close bodied sensations, but Alexis' words and her actions weren't lining up, and his analytical mind wouldn't stand for it.

The Seeker pulled away from her. He felt warm and unsteady and the way she looked at him was causing further disarrangement of self, but that didn't mollify the annoyance.

"You are vacillating, Alexis."

Her flesh paled at his accusation. A flicker of hurt washed through her expressive eyes.

"Do you wish to protect me, Alexis?"

Her brows lifted in confusion, she breathed in sharply. " _Me_ , protect _you_?" she asked in a whisper.

He took her hand in his, brushed it below his chin, along his lips, then held it firmly in front of his chest before letting go. "From the despair of being without you. As in, you have intentions to be with me, permanently."

Her eyes widened, emotions washing over her face of guilt, confusion, of _longing_. He felt his remote spark swell within its chamber, causing the flow of his human blood to race through his puny veins, the synergy of sensations creating a sense of euphoria. Alexis' eyes held his own. Her fingers came up and fell down his arm, holding onto the bottom of his sleeve. He bit back a shiver.

The Seeker didn't understand human intimacy, only the basics. But there was no mistaking her capacity to incite his mating protocols with the smallest gesture to a simple shared gazed. His body felt strange and foreign, despite the identified desire. Added discipline kept him in place.

She stepped nearer, but didn't move close enough. Alexis smelled clean, and pure, the scent of her skin sending his male body into further disarray that he diverted to his prone Cybertronian form, creating a loop of pleasure and denial that was making his spark chamber pressurize.

"I won't lie to you, Thundercracker. I like being with you _so_ much, but…" Alexis hesitated.

"You don't trust yourself with me," he spoke, his tone plagued with dark agitation. The desire turned to something entirely unhealthy. He didn't want to hurt her, but he did want to confine her, press against her, taste that flesh of hers that called to him louder than any siren call. She would fight him. But he knew she wouldn't struggle for long.

Alexis flinched at his tone. She shook her head. Even took a step away from him that he felt as if a kick in the gut that made his earlier ponderings turn toward self-disgust for thinking of such a thing, for not acting on it.

TC's head pinched with pain from his own indecisiveness, from what he wanted from her but wasn't resigned to force. He rubbed his temple and pushed his thoughts back, suddenly unable to process the female.

"There are so many things to consider and…" Alexis' words dropped when Josh and Starscream came walking quickly toward them, interrupting a conversation that would need to be continued. By then, TC vowed to himself, he would be prepared.

Starscream smiled wide. His eyes darted between the two with keen examination, reveling in Thundercracker's distress. "So what scheme have you for us this time, TC? Or shall we just _kill_ them all, as we have done before?"

He didn't look at Alexis, didn't look at the brother. He could feel their targeted disturbance from Starscream's expertly chosen words.

"We will avoid them."

"Avoid them!?" Starscream repeated as if he didn't hear him right. "That's _dull_." Screamer put weight on the word, emphasizing a point, trying to convey the hardly subtle message to the female.

Thundercracker lowered his voice, tried to keep the agitation away and failed. "We will find their parents. We will get off this rock. And if you heed my instructions well, we will even do so without _interfering_ with either of the engaged forces."

Starscream couldn't afford to have attention from either of the groups, and despite his bravado attitude, he also wouldn't risk being seen by them.

"Now, I suggest we turn around and go down the east corridor…"

He told them his plan, feeling everyone's eyes on him. But it was only one pair that he felt the most. He ignored Alexis, ignored everything she caused to fester inside him and focused on what needed to be done.

* * *

They arrived late but safely. The storage room where the sibling's parents were waiting for them had a dented door, but it appeared to have been made long before the present skirmish.

Josh took Alexis' hand and led her inside. Ten minutes later, the small group reappeared, what was two humans, now turning into seven. He hadn't planned on the number. But as there were only two newly added adults, the rest children, it wasn't hard to decipher which were the parental units, not with the way the siblings were held onto and hugged, not with the affection that they were spoken with.

"We need to leave, _now_ ," Thundercracker spoke up, interrupting the reunion that needed to be postponed.

The chattering stopped. Alexis offered him a small, sad smile, and then introduced him to her parents, rather cleverly, as TC so as not to instigate unneeded questions. He nodded curtly, intent on them moving forward.

"Is this your husband, Alexis?" the mother asked of her daughter.

Thundercracker's limbs went stiff, realizing that the parents wouldn't have minded. All the benefit that did him. He anticipated when they were told exactly whom he was. He was human for Alexis. He would have _stayed_ human for Alexis. But he was suddenly craving his own flesh, the weight of his wings on his back, the clarity and extra sensory input that he had lacked for far too long. Yes, let them see him as he was, and then see how obliging they were.

The conversation with Alexis had left him grim and unsympathetic. Not entirely from what was said, but because there was no getting around what he was going to have to do if he wanted to remain with Alexis. Which could also lead to everything between them being severed.

The idea of not being near her was too much to fathom. Made him feel vindictive and cruel, made him want to revert to lies and buried truths, to avoidance and trickery. But while he could divert or put off, he was not a coward. And if they were together, it would be with full disclosure. If she chose him, it would be with the knowledge of whom he had been and what he had done. He would not hide his spark from her. Nor would Thundercracker think of the bitter irony that would plague him if she had already decided to refuse him.

They _were_ friends, and perhaps she could fool herself into believing that was all they were, but he could not.

"My husband is dead," Alexis answered in a small tone, letting the Seeker know yet again how little the siblings had revealed to their parents. They were obviously waiting until they saw them before telling them anything important.

"We have a lot to catch up on," their father spoke up in a sympathetic tone, giving his daughter another quick hug. He looked at Thundercracker while he spoke, devoid of suspicion.

Motioning for the small group to follow him, they were on the shuttle twenty minutes later, all unharmed, all safe.

And even if Starscream fell back long before they met up with the parents and then disappeared, the siblings felt no need to mention it, probably not doubting that he would show himself soon enough. Or more than likely, hoping he wouldn't.


	13. Development

Starscream couldn't wait to see the sibling's reunion with the parental units that he had, however side-handed, aided. He watched from afar. The emotionally displayed meeting made his gut churn and his mouth flatten, the interest fade into a revulsion that made him exit before he was noticed.

He gathered his things and departed before the others arrived back at TC's shuttle. Being back in his Cybertronian body after so many weeks was empowering, enabled him to stabilize his lingering human traits and speculations, to organize and decline the thoughts that had assaulted, consumed, and tormented him, easily storing them deep down into his memory banks so that he could continue his journey unmolested by his time as an organic.

Starscream headed toward the Rinya sector. A small area of space that was inhabited by trading posts and entertainment centers. His destination: the opulent relaxation center, Bask, a place that he frequented often without the distraction of his Trine.

Bask was a secured location that was as security conscious as it was exclusive, allowing the Supreme Air Commander a place to finish his research in safety and in privacy. His own ship probably would have been secure enough, but having come so far, and with such valuable Intel, he wasn't so foolish to risk anything, or expose his findings to unwanted optics or scanners.

"Your quarters have been upgraded with our latest security protocol, and reformatted as specified, my lord. If you need anything, please contact myself or your provided attendants. We are here to _serve_ you," Electa informed Starscream, the sound of her vocals familiar and satisfying.

She was now a delicious muted yellow in color, streaks of complimentary shades highlighting her orange optics and slim neckpiece. He hadn't partaken in the femme in quite some time, and this time found he couldn't dismiss her offer. His time among the humans had made his appetite for anything normal, or known, or even that which he had been bored with before, to regain an appeal that made his Energon tingle with pronounced awareness.

"They have gone through the necessary security clearance." He wasn't asking. He was stating. He expected to be obeyed. Here, Starscream knew he would be.

Electa nodded her head. Documents and reports were immediately sent to him, providing him all the information he would need and more. The femme was always efficient, exceedingly thorough. Exactly what was expected of the administrators that were stationed there.

"Is there anything else you require, Lord Starscream?" This time he noticed the minute uprising of the femme's mouthpiece, a hopeful glimmer in her optics that spoke of a past he'd almost forgotten.

"No."

She hid her disappointment well. "Then welcome back to Bask, my lord. Your attendants are anticipating your arrival." With that the vid-relay was terminated.

Landing on his private terminal, he transformed, scanning the area, more out of habit than necessity. He found two lifeforms waiting for him at the end of the small tunnel. They bowed to him, their submission evident and satisfyingly natural. This was how he was meant to be treated. This is what he had earned.

And yet he was not pleased with what had been provided for him.

The femme was satisfactory. However, the human that kneeled beside her was not. Had he been gone so long that the place had been infested as well? Their planet had been eradicated, the people scattered, and still the humans managed to pop up and plague Starscream in unexpected places.

He found that unacceptable.

"You…" He pointed at the offending creature, whose head was low, eyes unseen. "I do not require your assistance. _Leave,_ " he spoke firmly.

The human female dared to address him, "We are the only two that passed your vigorous clearance requirements, my lord. If it is my size that offends you, let me assure you that I am quite qualified to provide for you in whatever capacity that you require."

"That I doubt," he uttered, the already present contempt for the creature evident in his dismissive vocals.

"Please, Lord Starscream," the female addressed him again, her tone reverent and effectively honed, the undertones of her willingness pronounced by her rising signs of desperation. "I will not disappoint you. I would not be such a fool to try."

She knew how to speak to him. That he liked. And yet, equally, did not, in regards to _what_ was speaking to him.

"You will see to all my personal needs," he told the small femme who had not spoken or even moved since his arrival. That he liked even more. "You will also see that this human does not approach or speak to me again, unless given permission. Or her punishment, shall be yours."

"Understood, my lord," the femme spoke delicately, with respect and reverence, and a hint of fear.

He had wanted to get away from the humans. Not think about them. But the idea of one serving him, of obeying anything that he requested, made him think of his time on Earth that had not been as dull as expected.

Let the human try to serve him, see her try to obey.

She would fail.

* * *

Two weeks of going over the stolen information and he hadn't skimmed the best of it. Not that his time had been a waste. Using what he had already found, Starscream had increased his assets by tenfold. He could know afford to buy Bask four times over if he chose, which despite its revenues, he did not. The Supreme Air Commander had something else in mind for what he had acquired, an increased army, a couple of planets, his ship replaced and upgraded, his security forces enhanced.

The hard part would be doing so without Megatron noticing. But he was nefarious by nature. And he had too many mega-cycles to become acquainted with concealment and duplicity, had tasted failure on too many occasions, and at Megatron's servos more times than necessary that he could take his time when he needed to, learn to savor and appreciate the many workings that involved and remedied a victory.

And he was long overdue for a victory.

And for a break.

He'd been isolated since his arrival on Bask, busy and preoccupied and focused. And while he could appreciate isolation, he found he didn't crave it. Making his way to the entertainment hub, he went to his reserved table. Starscream was immediately served High-grade, some Energon treats lavished on a tray.

Starscream was surrounded by booming sounds and electrified beats, the sounds of femmes whispering and laughing and encouraging, the feel of the two females that had joined him at his table, sitting close and scooting closer, their sleek frames as feminine as they were beguiling.

Only he wasn't up for female company at the moment. In fact, he felt repelled by it.

A lifting of his hand was all it took for the two to shoo away.

Studying the tablets he'd brought with him, Starscream allowed the music to throb through his subsystems, to suppress the tightness that had permeated his servos and dulled his processor.

The High-grade helped with that as well.

The Elite Seeker idly observed those around him. He recognized some, identifying others. A bounty hunter, three high officials from a nearby planet, a group of mercenaries, and a femme surrounded by a group of mechs, who seemed more occupied with trying not to watch him than paying attention to those that she had obviously been waiting for.

Giving her a nonverbal message that she should definitely look elsewhere and that he was in no way interested, the femme jerked her neckpiece away from his direction, rising to greet the approaching mechs.

She, he would have to watch out for.

"You've been here three nights in a row, alone. Don't you want any company?" An over eager, but obviously cautious voice asked of him.

He knew a human voice when he heard one. Looking down despite not wanting to, he found an overly painted, highly made up female bent on one of her knees, waiting for his attention. She didn't need to approach him as she was, which meant she was either curious about him, or an over achiever. Probably the latter. And one that brazenly ignored his reputation and his status in the Decepticon army.

"Why would I want the company of a human?" He really wanted to know.

She shrugged her shoulders, the jewelry that lined her neck and dangled on her chest, shimmered and jingled. "None of the femmes seem to interest you."

"And you believe you have something they lack?" he interrogated her with incredulity.

"That's for you to find out. If you choose," the female smartly replied, unable to hide her fidgeting, the nervousness becoming more apparent. She was a bold human, but not unafraid.

The female was too made up, whatever scent she wore that lined her flesh, putrid and optic clogging. But he could appreciate what it took to approach him, and found himself curious as to what lie beneath her painted skin.

"Remove your paint, clean your body of all scent, change into something _more_ rather than less, and I may allow you to sit with me."

Yes, ordering a human around, one that quickly did as he said, was a change of pace that he could grow accustomed to. And when the female came back, and as specified, he refused her invitation anyway, enjoying the flicker of agitation that she hid well, the groveling and shows of appreciation.

"Then another time," the female relented with a great show of disappointment.

Her words triggered a memory with such vividness that he found the female replaced by another, one with green eyes and fresh smelling skin that was tainted by scarlet pain, proof of an incompatibly he'd not accounted for. He could hurt females. He _had_ hurt females. But hurting _her_ was not something he'd planned.

Starscream wanted her though. Enough to consider other methods, enough to think about what it would be like to be a part of her flesh in a manner he'd seen on more than a few occasions on Earth. He'd always thought the way the humans moved together was entertainment worthy. Now he found it a curiosity, something suddenly worthy of his research and physical diagnostics.

The female objected though, not just with words, but with actions and grit, forcing him to recognize her refusal a littler later than he should have. For he had not been expecting it. But he wasn't depraved enough to continue despite her opposition.

She didn't like him. The next day she asked him to leave. She vexed him them. She vexed him still, his spark strumming up all over again at just the remembrance of her.

Downing a mug full of High-grade, and then another, he returned to his compartments.

But not alone.

* * *

It took him several days before Starscream sufficiently buried his stint on The Pit away. His appetite, and his unnatural longing for other things, repressed by exposure to debauchery and physical maneuvers that tested even his stamina.

Satisfied, and feeling purged, he relaxed himself back into going over data, now capable of dissociating how and what, and who he had been with when he acquired it.

He took more breaks than before though, finding himself now addicted to the pleasurable offerings on Bask. He didn't have much longer before he would have to report to Megatron and receive orders. So he used what time he had to get certain things in order.

No one contacted him. No one looked for him. And while he did receive a transmission from Skywarp, the message did not require a reply.

Busy designing the new ship he was to have built, consumed on what soldiers to recruit, he ignored the tussle that was going on behind his table, only to lose his concentration entirely when a wayward blaster shot made the table beside him explode.

Starscream turned around just in time to see one of the privacy screens around the table in the back to spark and then collapse, revealing a bounty hunter pinned to the table, an unknown assailant standing above him with an upgraded electro-pistol in his face. He said something which made the attacker laugh, a grating, familiar sound that made Starscream remain when everyone else was clearing the lounge.

The security forces would be arriving at anytime, ones that would eliminate both disruptive threats with prejudice, as was done on Bask. As was the reason why altercations such as this rarely happened.

The aggressor though, seemed to know of this, for as soon as the security detail arrived, the table and adjoining wall exploded, eliminating not only the bounty hunter, but those unfortunate that had tried to intervene.

By the time the surviving figure sauntered over to his table, spotless to the point of ridiculous, the Supreme Air Commander didn't think of much when the Autobot leisurely planted himself on the opposite chair facing the Seeker, his face passive and withdrawn, his weapon now aimed at Starscream.

"Where's Thundercracker?" the Autobot finally spoke. The Bot's optics burned a cold blue, his tone vindictive and bitter, his mood foul, if not a little pleased. His conduct was indifferent yet unusually composed, as Starscream being there wasn't some strange coincidence, as if them crossing paths was an everyday thing. But they weren't on a neutral space station this time, or even on an Autobot ship about to join forces in a venture that would end in disaster, and in triumph, and the splitting apart of comrades.

Now that Starscream recalled, he did hear that there was a sudden increase of merc deaths. But that tidbit had been nothing he'd been interested in, despite the knowledge that he knew all that had been terminated, as he had employed them himself at some times, as had TC.

"Elsewhere." If he was anyone else, he would have asked what the Autobot wanted with TC. But due to recent circumstances, he truly didn't care. He'd heard rumors of the Bot after that incident on the _Relentless_ , and he idly wondered if he was back to making reprisals, even if almost half a mega-cycle had gone by since a confirmed sighting.

"Evidently." The Autobot huffed loudly. He checked something on his wrist guard, stood to his peds. "No matter." A queer grin graced his once straight-edged mouth. "I _will_ find him. But you will give him a message for me." He leaned forward, hands placed heavily on the table in front of Starscream. The Seeker idly watched the Bot, prepared to engage, but not sensing a threat despite the impudence on display. "Tell him that his hired _shields_ have _failed_. And that I will no longer be hindered."

"Is that _all_?"

The Autobot smiled at that, seemed to see Starscream for the first time since the strange encounter. "The rest will save until I see him myself." There was a vow behind the statement, a flicker of glee and anticipation.

He stepped back, pressed something on his chassis just as the wall disintegrated into an opening behind him. Panels of enhanced armor folded over and down his frame, thrusters ignited, his weapon folding down inside his servo, a TRIN sphere appearing on his flattened palm.

Throwing it past Starscream's right wing, it embedded itself into the wall, flashing red lights blinking quicker. Activating his jet pack, the yellow Autobot disappeared through the hole in the wall, but not before making an obscene gesture with the flip of his middle digit, showing that his time among humans had not all been a waste.

And when the TRIN exploded out only to pull everything back in, Starscream had just enough time to grab his tablets, blast out several walls until he hit space, and watch the south section of Bask be sucked into the illegal, yet quite spectacular gravitational field that finished its task and then popped out of existence in entirety.

Of course the Autobot didn't just erase evidence, he made a show of it.

Not staying for the aftermath of destruction, he folded into his jet form, did a quick diagnostic to make sure his systems were not damaged, and left the cleanly mutilated structure behind.

Such a waste really, but one the Elite Seeker could easily find a replacement for. Or perhaps, Starscream reveled, it was time to build his own sanctuary, a thought that hadn't even occurred to him until the Autobot showed up and mutilated one of his carefully chosen bolt-holes.

But first, he supposed, he did have the duty of relaying the Autobot's message, almost finding himself curious about what it meant. Knowing TC, it was something utterly dull or predictably tedious, as were most things his wingmate tried to keep from him. But that had been before his wingmate's dissent, before their disagreements and communications failure, before he had difficulty tracking Thundercracker's once predictable moves.

Starscream needed to decide: send him the message? Or personally deliver it on Renth?

After he lost the Autobot tail of course.

Arming his weapons, he scanned the empty space around him, finding only a dissipating energy trail that he felt no need to follow. Releasing armed droids, activating a sensory ghost, he continued on his course, giving the Bot no chance to follow, hoping he would try.

No need making Sunstreaker's hunt any easier.

Correction, every reason to make it harder.


	14. Slant

After meeting up with and dropping off the rescued children with their parents that had gotten separated during the Autobots' arrival on The Pit, they returned to Renth. Two months had passed since. Alexis' mom and dad were staying with her until they were ready to travel to Refuge. Cynthia had been waiting for them upon their return and had remained.

Her brother-in-law cleared out quarters for her family, even gave her family copies of her own coolant band, allowing them to be comfortable and healthy.

Perhaps her extended Vildan family complained in only the way that they could, but they proved more accommodating than resentful, allowing for her family to reside in peace. They didn't interfere with their lives too much, even kept their distance. She really couldn't find that a reason to complain. If they thought she was emotional though, the rest of her family was even more so, their emotional outbursts an obvious disturbance that confounded and interested her in-laws.

The incident that occurred when they tried to separate Cynthia and her mom from their husbands, a show all of its own that if Vildans weren't prone to gossip and maliciousness would have still been held against them and talked about.

They couldn't get that married human couples preferred to stay, and yes live and even sleep together, not just when trying to have children, but for long-term.

As weeks turned into months, as the house seemed to become quiet and still, only a brave few of her husband's relatives venturing out, Alexis tried not to become too disappointed if not all were willing to make an effort.

She did unbalance their lives when she married Airaih, when she brought Aaron back, when her family came to stay and recuperate. It wasn't as if they were snubbing her or even her family. They were just ill-equipped to deal with such sentimentally charged individuals that had been separated for far too long and then reunited. Alexis and her family made no qualms about showing their love, or their feelings, or letting others know of their happiness of having found one another.

In the conservatory with her family, she watched Aaron play with Cynthia and Josh, glanced over at her father who was sitting with her mom on a padded bench reading a book, some provided glasses allowing him to read the fine print with ease.

This was _family_. This was how life was supposed to be. Surrounded by those you loved.

Thundercracker wanted to be a part of this life, of her son's. But as a friend. As a confident. Not pursuing her as she had predicted.

But that had been a ploy.

He'd just been giving her time to settle in and be with her family. She saw him often though, as he spent much time with her and Aaron.

He even came around the rest of her family when necessary, which was strained and a work in progress, was still an experience that made her internally cringe. Her parents didn't hate Thundercracker. They were even polite to him. But bring them all together and things got really silent, really fast. Her parents would watch her more than even TC. Thundercracker hardly spoke.

The night before was when she realized that he hadn't been showing restraint in regards to what she believed he wanted from her, but patience.

After settling Aaron down for the night, now in his own room that was across from her own, Alexis walked up the stairs to the rooftop, now one of their most used meeting spots. From the start that night felt different. And it would be several minutes later that Alexis would realize how silly she had been. How stupid she was to believe that nothing had to change between them.

Always prompt, Alexis didn't have to wait long until Thundercracker joined her. The Seeker landed perfectly on the roof that while large for her was just big enough for him to stand.

"You came."

She nodded her head, smiled up at him. "You asked me to."

Whatever he wanted to tell her, he hadn't been able to tell her earlier when TC took her and Aaron to Tarth, an area in the far north that had a wide variety of wild animals that Aaron was studying in his classes.

Alexis felt nervous. Had an inkling of what he wanted to say. They may have spent time with one another on The Pit, but here on Renth the months had allowed them to see each other often outside what she considered a hostile environment, his clearance to the planet something that while unprecedented, did not go to waste.

If she thought Vildans stared at her and her family, they most certainly looked the Seeker over. Sometimes she forgot how imposing he was, how resplendent of power and danger. Willingly disarmed, the Seeker was allowed on the planet, a temporary clearance that came with a shadow of a security force that she was sure trailed their every move, when TC didn't decide to lose them, which _really_ shouldn't have been that much _fun_.

"You brought your tablet." He observed even though the device wasn't visible, making her wonder all over again just how much he picked up about her. Probably a lot more than she would have been comfortable with or wanted to think about.

"Yes." She put her pack down, wiggled it out of her bag and turned it on.

Thundercracker dipped his head. His optics ignited with a blaze of concentration. Her tablet hummed lowly while pictures and documents were downloaded, data and text scrolling across the screen in a flurry of activity.

"What's this?" she asked as soon as the humming stopped, her overworked tablet going into sleep mode.

"I want to court you with intentions to bond."

She felt blood rush to her cheeks. Her heart actually skipped two beats. Her lungs strained as her stomach felt as if the ground had been pulled out from under. She really should have known this was coming. Alexis saw a prelude to it on The Pit. But she was entirely unprepared for what his very serious and deeply resonating words did to her, besides rendering her unable to think properly.

Thundercracker continued to speak, calmly, factually. But he was having a difficult time keeping optic contact, which proved that what he was saying wasn't something typical, not for him, not for her, not in the slightest. "This is highlights, documents, videos, recounts and reports of some key events in my life. While they have been abridged, they have not been altered."

She glanced down at her tablet's blank screen. Most people would have talked, but this, she found, suited them both. And yet she found herself asking a ridiculous question that had been quite evident from on the onset of his proclamation.

"You want to _date_ me?" But it wasn't that he wanted to _court_ her, but trying to prove that she _should_ that made her feel warm and woozy and gushing with affection.

He flew over that question.

"I have already shown, in what time I was allowed that I am most amenable to the prospect of taking and providing for both you and your son, even your family. I will be the last defense you will need." He stood on the corner of the roof, his impressive wings folded behind his back, the sharp tips peaking along the edges of his shoulders, glimmering in the shadows.

Alexis looked away from his striking angular visage in order to get her words in order. She finally spoke, "We are so different, TC. Our beliefs, our lives, our ages, even our bodies… "

He cut in, eager to prove otherwise. "We are more compatible than you realize." His optics dimmed, one of his hands moved to the side of his leg where he squeezed it tightly into a fist and then flattened it out. For what TC said next, he didn't look away. "And I will take you in whatever manner you are comfortable with." Thundercracker told her in a way that let her know that that would lead to far more different and exotic things. Things that, _yes_ , she had found herself thinking about because she was interested in Thundercracker, and was so very captivated by him. They'd spent a lot of time together of late, and yet…

"You mean… us… you mean _sex_." Sometimes she couldn't stop her own mouth.

He seemed to waver at her straightforwardness, his optics dimmed completely, and he didn't speak until several long beats had passed. "I mean intimacy beyond all that you have experienced before," he husked.

That vow had her skin tingling. She internally trembled from the intense, stimulating tone he used, recognizing, not for the first time, that he too had a voice that could weaken her.

Alexis tried to look away from him, tried to think for a moment, but she couldn't. Except for one thing. She _was_ deeply attracted to him. And not just as a human, but the technology advanced being that he was. She always had a thing for gadgets, for electronics, and while TC was so far beyond that, he was also an embodiment of the unknown, of the wondrous, of someone who would always, no matter how long she knew him, prove a mystery.

"Do you love me, Thundercracker?"

"In the manner in which you define love, then, yes, I do, beyond all doubts and reason."

His deeply sincere words did not reach her as they should have. She leaned against the ledge, her body suddenly heavy. He _loved_ her. But Alexis had known that for sometime now. And yet Thundercracker saying so, even if not outright, did leave her with a glimmer of a future that was complicated and pained, was more difficult than it needed to be. Because _they_ were different, _too_ different. And not love, or marriage, or anything else would change that.

Alexis had become pragmatic since losing Airaih, maybe even coldly practical. She cared for Thundercracker, wanted him, but that was not the same as giving her and Aaron's life over to Thundercracker, as tying them to the Seeker and his dangerous life.

Truthfully, Alexis didn't want to love him. Not even because of the complications or even what he had done or had been a part of, or even who or what he was, but because when she loved, she gave her all, put everything she was into the attachment that could only come from minds and souls in sync.

Did TC even have a soul? He certainly didn't believe himself to have a god. And as God was more a fixture in her life than all others, as her faith led and guided her, that would be yet another thing that he just wouldn't be able to understand.

And yet he seemed to understand her so well and so fully most of the times that she could so easily forget about their differences. Sharaih was right, she did like differences in her companions, that had become the norm.

TC had no qualms that she was human. Alexis knew that. And the Seeker spending time with her and Aaron over the past months had allowed her to see that he wouldn't just make a father to Aaron if she allowed, but probably a really good one.

If only TC didn't remind her of Airaih. Yet wasn't it Airaih that originally reminded her of TC? A jumble of reasoning that distorted her perspective. Did she truly like taciturn men so much? And why did she find a man with subtle emotions and evolved logic, so highly evocative?

"What are you thinking so deeply about?"

Coming out of her thoughts and away from that rooftop where her thoughts had led her to, Alexis turned to her mom, staring at her as if she wasn't real, as if it were all a dream. Her mom had dyed her hair again, now a light brown. She hadn't changed much since she last saw her, maybe a wrinkle or two, but nothing that showed apparent wear. Aaron came up to them, tugging on his grandmother's arm. "Come, grandma. Grandpa wants you. He says that…"

Her parents loved Aaron, were getting along with Cynthia, who complained a little too much about Renth for Alexis' liking, obviously ready to return home to Refuge. How could someone not see the fascination that was the planet and its people, Alexis just couldn't understand. But apparently, Renth wasn't for everyone.

"Come, Alexis, lunch is ready," her father told her after moving a large branch to the side to see her. He no longer spoke in the booming voice of the half deaf, but the tone of any normal person. One of her cousins had repaired his hearing, had even replaced one of his eyes that had been blinded by a Con when he objected to the treatment of his fellow captives. Her father always did have a way with him, both repelling in his overly confrontational habits, and yet endearing when he was calm and rational. Not that her family had ever been the definition of normal. Her family could be chaotic, loud, argumentative and troublesome, a mixture of faults and failings, of tendencies for depression and pain and arguments.

But every family had their quirks and problems. Sometimes though, she couldn't help but believe they got more then their share. But they loved each other despite the fights and the words, forgave one another over and over again, came back together, shared with one another.

Her parents were getting along better than ever, her father seemed to appreciate her mother more. Good things could come out of terrible events.

She had her family back. And nothing was going to make her stop realizing what a blessing that was.

Alexis took another moment to appreciate the view. Light pushed through the glass paneling of the conservatory roof, making everything, both plants and family members, bright and colorful and appealing. Her son was having a conversation with Josh; her father pulled out her mom's chair so she could sit down.

She joined her family at the table, took Aaron's hand and then her brother's, bowed her head. Her father prayed and blessed the meal; they ate.

* * *

She and Aaron had been out with Thundercracker before. They'd even flown several times inside of him, something she found that her son enjoyed. But this was the first time since his proposal that they'd been together. He was expecting an answer. Alexis wanted to say no. Wanted to cut her ties and send him on his way.

Not that he would have allowed that.

He wasn't forceful, but he was dogged in his pursuit of what he wanted. And what he wanted was her, was Aaron, was a part in her life that seemed to be changing all over again with the inclusion of her parents.

Her mom and dad would be heading to Refuge soon. She would be remaining on Renth. They would visit each other though. But Alexis had grown so accustomed to them being around and with her and Aaron that the separation seemed unnecessary.

They were her family too.

A statement that had grown into an argument between Alexis and Josh. Nothing she had ever intended, as she had been quite determined not to say anything. Because anything said between them always had a high probability of getting back to her parents, and Alexis hadn't wanted to cause conflict.

When she was with her family, she thought of TC. When she was with TC, she thought of her family. Her mind a rush of questions, objections and proclamations that it was a wonder she hadn't had one of her customary migraines.

The trio was going to be gone for two days as Thundercracker showed them Renth as they'd never seen it before. She felt aware of her discomfort as they made their way into his now roomier cockpit, his engines coming on-line immediately after the two buckled in.

Alexis hoped he didn't notice the slight tremor in her fingers. Her hesitancy to even go. She'd read through most of the reports he'd given to her. They'd been fascinating. They'd been terrifying. He most certainly didn't edit it, from what she had read and seen and watched. And she didn't know whether to admire him for his unsettling honesty, or be horrified by the contents.

She hadn't been able to finish it yet. Not due to the length, but because the more she read, the more she didn't understand how she could so easily allow someone like him near her, or her son, or her family.

But it wasn't as simple as that. And what had occurred, the worst of it so far, has been so long ago, and when he was a soldier under the service of Megatron. While not an excuse, gave her a valid reason to cope.

Because _that_ Thundercracker was not the TC she knew. Because _this_ Thundercracker knew compassion, and mercy, and a tenderness of kindness. Because this one was so far beyond the written and described and recorded one that the two could have been separate entities.

And yet, a fear had come, an entirely new one that was more disturbing than ever, because her son was now involved. But Thundercracker wouldn't harm her or her family. And they'd been through too much for her to disregard him due to a very factual, and so far, violent recount of his past.

She was going on this trip so she could finish the documents and reports he'd give her, give him his answer and come to terms with exactly what he was to her. But Alexis was trepidatious, still stunned and overwhelmed by what she had gone over and read, something that had kept her up on more than one night and had taken away her sleep. Something that haunted her and reminded her of things she thought she had forgotten. And yet she still wanted to be near him. What did that say about her?

"Destination?" TC asked of her son.

Aaron looked at her, his eyes shining with youth and the subtly of his excitement. She swallowed hard. Felt a little dizzy. Her son liked TC. What was she allowing? How did any of this come about? And why still, did she trust their lives to him? Or was she just over thinking things? Her hands were now shaking, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. She grabbed to her seat belt, turned around in her seat and took a deep breath and started to pray.

"Anywhere. As long as you go as fast as you did last time," Aaron told Thundercracker's console.

Two days she was going to be with him, a time that seemed longer than the passing months they'd shared. Sitting inside of him with her son who actually squealed as Thundercracker took off, she considered where she was and who she was with, and if it was going to be the last time.

That thought made her heart quiver.

It would have been easier if he never took her to Renth.

Easier if Timothy had never turned into Thundercracker.

Easier if she didn't care so much for him.

The past may be the past, but it still had voices, an ominous chorus of warning and doubts and promised terrors, some in her own voice.

Complications were to be expected. Well documented, highly detailed accounts though, were far harder to ignore.


	15. Intentions

Thundercracker hadn't seen her for days after his proposal, which, after spending months together and seeing and talking to one another almost every day, was long enough. She looked peakish after she and her son entered his cockpit, far too contemplative, and as the color gradually rushed out of her flesh, her fingers reaching out for his console only to pull back, Alexis' words _almost_ didn't sideswipe him.

"We need to go back," Alexis told him, her voice wavering before tumbling into a stern whisper. " _Please_."

"Are you unwell?"

"I…" Alexis winced at his direct question, but didn't answer. She turned around and looked at her son who sat behind her.

"No. I am not well." She reached over the shoulder of her chair toward her son, touched his hand. "I'm sorry, Aaron. I know how much you were looking forward to this."

The youngling's tone remained normal, free of disappointment, naturally unaffected, yet still broadcasting evident endearment. "It's okay, mom. We can do it some other time."

She didn't confirm that. Just turned around, shut her eyes, and hissed out a wisp of air. Thundercracker took the time to observe her. Dread filled his mainframe as he recognized the signs that were so obvious they ate though his flesh like Frlarlion acid.

Alexis was _afraid_.

Thundercracker knew because he'd seen her fear before on more than enough occasions that there was no denying her display of anxiety.

But Alexis wasn't just afraid.

She was afraid of _him_.

The Elite Seeker reversed his course, far too appalled to speak. He watched her with a sense of horror, of clear despair, recognizing a harbinger of dreadful development when he saw it.

His truthfulness hadn't secured him Alexis, but repulsed her. The worst of his precalculated outcomes.

He dropped the pair off, returned to his ship and locked himself in the training room, forcing a state of meditation onto his jarred subsystems.

* * *

TC wouldn't see Alexis until two days later, which was as long as he was willing to wait before going to see her.

She needed to face him.

If she owed him anything, before what he was going to do for her next, Alexis owed him that. He also owed it to himself, a needed strength to continue on his computed course.

* * *

Sometimes having such advanced systems was a curse.

Having recorded the small patches of data from their last time together, TC almost disabled his sensors before returning to Renth. But it took more than dread, no matter how omnipresent, to put himself in such a state of vulnerability.

He'd already disabled his weapons in order to be cleared to land on Renth, even allowed them to keep track of his ship that orbited the planet. That was as far as it would go, all he would allow.

But the desire to be blind, to be deaf, to not pick up the raging of her heart, the scent of her terror, the averting of her eyes, the trembling of her limbs was almost as deafening as his innate instinct to survive whatever the cost.

He'd gone to battle with inexperienced squadrons, faulty weapons and ambiguous orders, Starscream loaded on High-Grade, Skywarp late or even unaccounted for, half the promised forces not arriving. Slag, he'd had more than his share of misfortune crusades, and ill-conceived campaigns. And he'd not once hesitated. TC couldn't afford to. And yet going to Alexis was difficult, gave him pause and conflict. He'd faced Optimus Prime on his own with more conviction than this.

Landing on the planet, he settled himself behind the house between some thick bushes and tall trees. He activated his holo-form, took a deep breath and tapped firmly against the full windows that also served as an entrance to Alexis' room from the balcony floor.

He repeated his actions.

Alexis stirred, sat up in bed and activated her room's lights. Her cat jumped up quicker than the female, scattering to the outer room. Two minutes and thirteen seconds passed until Alexis slid open the large glass paneled door. She didn't let him in. Instead, she joined him on the balcony.

"What are you doing here?" Alexis sat down on a comfortable looking lounger, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and yawned softly.

Thundercracker was contaminated with nervousness. He'd laid waste to planets and hunted slippery, highly skilled warriors with more confidence than this. Even abandoned by his parental units and forced to fend for himself did not leave him flailing with this distasteful hesitation. The nervousness was just another anomalous emotion that Alexis spawned in him, another loathsome feeling that he was not designed for.

He bypassed the irrelevant reaction and spoke to her, "You are afraid of me."

Alexis' eyes widened. She flinched and frowned and paled.

"I…"

He took a step closer. "You were terrified of me the last time we were together. Do you deny this?" He asked of her, his voice gruff, his mouth pressing tightly together. TC needed clarity and decisive truth. He would hear her answer, unwilling to yield to the anxiety that tried to enslave him.

Her head tilted on her right shoulder. Alexis studied him. He hadn't been human since the time on The Pit. She didn't seem comforted by his shared organic state, but disconcerted.

It took her a while to respond, "No. I'm sorry."

He wanted the truth. He got it. TC stepped away from her, gripped the railing of the balcony, and tried not to give way to the weakness that had become his knees. Thundercracker didn't think anything could be worse than seeing her fear for him. Hearing her verbally confirm it was even more odious.

Alexis spoke up, her tone soft and inconveniently soothing. His stomach turned, clenched and dropped bottom with what she said. "The information you gave me was…" She swallowed hard, searched for a word. "…detailed. And yes, it scared me. Made me fear you all over again, and for my son and for my family. Made me question what I was doing with you."

Thundercracker wanted her to cease speaking. He understood her well enough without her explaining further. Must she tear him completely apart? He would cover her mouth, tell her a few things himself, things he had kept to himself long enough.

But then he felt a hand on his shoulder. She gently turned him around, led him to where she had sat and sat down beside him, her hand still in his. Her heart was now a steady cantor, but she breathed evenly, looked him in the eye, and didn't fidget too much.

"I finished your reports, Thundercracker," Alexis told him calmly, and it wasn't until then that he realized what she had told him wasn't just uncompromising truths, but words that were imperative for what she needed to say next. She breathed deeply, let go of his hand and stretched backwards. Her loose hair dropped behind her shoulders, the thin sleep garment she wore pulling along the curved paths of her body.

"You tried to make reparations, provided food and shelter for those you dispersed, even reunited families, and all without Megatron finding out, without your trinmate's knowledge, without those you helped even being made aware." Alexis looked at him with respect and awe and open admiration. This time when his stomach twisted, it was not an unpleasant sensation. "You've been trying to stop Megatron longer than even the Autobots."

"Not effectively."

"Tell that to those whose lives you saved," Alexis argued, her face taking on a large frown. "Why do you try to play down what you have done though? Why not tell me _sooner_? Why, when you do something _good_ , do you think it doesn't matter?"

"Because it feels… miscalculated."

Her frown deepened. Tears gathered in her eyes. She lowered her head and brought up her knees, her arms wrapping around her body.

"There is a part of me that might always be afraid of you, TC," Alexis spoke in a small whisper. "But how I see you is in the now, not what you have done in the past."

Again, the female managed to astound him, and it took him several very long minutes before he realized he was probably supposed to say something.

"I would _never_ hurt you," he needed to clarify.

"I know."

"Nor your family."

"I believe you."

He couldn't leave it at that though. He had mentally dissolved due to what had occurred and how she'd reacted that he couldn't fly past it so easily.

"Last time we were together…"

She cut in, sat up straighter, her green eyes once more fixed upon him, open and sincere. "I wasn't sleeping well then. I've always over thought things, and well, there's just a lot going on right now."

"Your family leaving."

"Yeah."

Again silence descended on them. But it was comfortable, even pleasing. The Seeker had to keep his gaze from drifting down her exposed legs, the way the fabric of her sleepwear rustled against her body in the slight breeze.

Thundercracker scooted closer. He didn't want to be comfortable now, or even at ease. She had thrown him for quite the eternal battle from her last display and it had set him on a course he would not allow himself to divert from. Not again.

As did her unwillingness to bring up his proposition. The unsettled feeling returned. This time the Seeker used it to solidify his resolve.

He put his hand on her shoulder, made _her_ turn to face _him._ Thundercracker didn't know what he wanted until his hand settled on the warmth of her bare flesh. He turned his hand around and slid his fingers down the length of her arm, his mouth pressing on her shoulder, then following the sketch of a path his fingers had taken, ending with his lips slowly sweeping over the dips of her knuckles on her folded over hand, watching her for signs of fear.

His hand fell away. He studied her. Alexis' eyes were wide open, her mouth parted, her expression serious and watchful, that heart of hers beating quicker as the last of her tiredness drained away.

"I'm not afraid of…"

And just like that Alexis was on her back and Thundercracker was bent over and above her, his mouth moving against hers, his body near hers in a manner he'd never dared. Her sleepwear _was_ thin, so thin that with his eyes closed, Alexis could have been bare beneath him. Humans came together with just flesh pressing against flesh, with motion and joined desires, with shared body heat and…

She'd never made these noises before, soft little moans and airy quickened breaths, never bent her head back so that his lips and tongue could render even more delightful little expressions of approval, her hands pressing against the tight muscles in his arm.

Alexis pulled away, smiled up at him with a tenderness that made his insides clench and his lower body rejoice. She slowly brought him down closer, allowing his arms to bend along her sides.

This wasn't like one of those hugs he always craved. Nothing like it. TC felt her as he did like that time in the shower, only she wasn't wet or cold, or even grieving, but in the moment with him, entirely aware of him, and wanting him there.

It wasn't until that conjugal band of hers dug into his arm, at the same moment that his hand was slipping up her thigh that they pulled away from one another. Alexis was breathing deeply, that small smile still hovering on her lips that spoke of a contentment that was doing wonders for making him forget that tangible fear of hers from before.

She pushed him back on the lounger, brought her body along his side, her head resting on his chest, her hand holding securely onto him. Alexis didn't run away. She didn't make excuses. She didn't regret anything.

And yet…

He listened as her breathing slowed down, unrepentant for his gaze that hovered on that rising and falling chest of hers with the fabric that bunched around and caressed those curious mounds of flesh that moments prior had been squished against him.

"I am willing to copulate with you."

That lovely flush of hers increased by twenty percent. Her heart began to race all over again.

"I think you must know by now that I want you too."

His head spun at that honesty of hers that just minutes prior he had loathed bitterly. Slag he wanted her, but there was more to it than just simple need and want, of the joining of their bodies to rid themselves of festering tensions.

"Your desire is not all I want from you."

A silence fell over them. Alexis suddenly sat up, leaning back into a defensive position against her legs.

"I don't know why you want me at all, TC." She looked down at him, her hand still on his arm. "You've seen me at my worse. And we haven't exactly shared a good start together. And when you were Timothy, was that even you? Or was the entire thing just an act?"

Alexis didn't know it, but she was the only one besides Skywarp that he could so effortlessly converse with. He had valued these verbal sessions with her of the past months, whether questions or just conversations, indulging in the intimacy.

"Me."

"I'm human." She felt the need to point out, one of her hands coming up to rest above her chest, the other turning his own hand around so that she could brush her curious fingers down his flattened palm.

"That I can't argue." A smile tugged on the corner of his mouth. He maneuvered her fingers through his own.

Her focus shifted to their joined hands. She bit down on her lower lip, her next words coming out in a rush. "I don't have your lifespan, you don't have my faith, and neither one of us has a homeworld we can go back to. And then there is Aaron."

"Yes."

Her eyes lifted back toward his at that incomplex reply. Her brows bunched, her fingers tightened around his own. "I won't let anything happen to him, _ever_." Her emerald eyes brightened with conviction from her spoken vow. "He is the only solid thing I have left from Airaih."

Thundercracker sat up at that. She had a difficult time talking to him about her deceased husband. And still her voice would warble and quake, her entire continence shift toward something that made him feel distant, and her unreachable.

This time though, he would pursue the topic. She after all, brought it up.

"You still feel bound to him."

"I will always love him." She turned more toward TC. Their hands were still connected, neither willing to let go. "But that doesn't mean that I can't…" She paused, shook her head, took a quick breath and continued, "I've always cared for you, you know?" She made a little face, scrunched her nose. "Well maybe not when we met, but you've always meant something to me, even when I tried to hate you." Alexis grimaced. "You used to consider me a slave," she suddenly said, as if just remembering.

"And you once called me _Master_ Thundercracker. Something, I admit, I _enjoyed_."

She made another face at him, part amusement, part incredulity. Alexis went on undeterred, "I wanted to kill you once," she said easily, with honesty. She pushed that silken hair of hers behind her ears, didn't look away from his transfixed gaze. "Well, actually more Starscream then you, but I wouldn't have minded both of you dropping dead, including the rest of your species that ravaged my planet."

"I regret that."

She shook her head, her mouth curved downward. "I know."

Alexis knew he was speaking the truth. He wasn't prone to being read, nor to being trusted by someone outside his Trine. And he knew, more in that moment than ever before that Alexis did have confidence in him. At that revelation, the Seeker staggered and stilled and felt great conviction toward his recent mandatory decisions. He could do this. For her.

TC turned her hand around in his own, gripped it gently and painted ancient Cybertronian symbols on the soft flesh with his fingers. "I regret treating you like I did. For allowing others to be treated worse." Thundercracker suddenly needed her to know.

"You thought us animals."

"There is no excuse."

"No. There isn't."

"Do you ever wish you could return to Earth?"

Alexis thought about that for a moment, her attention sharpening on him, knowing he didn't ask idle questions. "I watched my planet die. Saw it without color, without life. That is not something I need to see again." She took a short breath, became even more serious. "Have you ever had children?"

"Cybertronians do not create life as easily as you humans. However, I once had charge of some sparklings that I nurtured into maturity."

She listened with avidity, highly interested in what he said. "Yours?"

"No."

Alexis momentarily hesitated, "Can you have children though, I mean if you wanted?"

He moved closer to her, his fingers still lingering near her own. "Are you asking if I can seed you?" The question, however crude, had a purpose behind it. One that proved far too effectively, with the distraught expression that ghosted over her face, that the course he had put himself on, however unimaginable, was correct. He ignored the tremor of an ache that echoed in his chest. Focused on this time with her.

He'd never seen her turn as flustered, as in that moment. That kept her quiet for a good three minutes. The Seeker spoke before she could ask something else, his tone tight with steadfast determination. "You need to make sure that Starscream does not come near you, and take whatever precautions necessary to keep interlopers at bay. Rivet is willing to pick you and your family up at any time, or assist you in anything you may need."

Alexis listened to his abrupt advice. Confusion made her brows wrinkle.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Before she could analyze his words, TC tugged Alexis back to him, his lips meeting hers in anguished desperation.


	16. Alteration

While being a member of a Trine could and did make things easier for the group that it entailed, it could also be a severe hindrance.

Once could get impressions, visualizations, even thought processes that while during battle were extremely useful could prove irritating outside it, sometimes entertaining, definitely distracting, and always, always _there_.

That's why not just anyone could have a Trine. The intimate bonding and symmetry that were required, the discipline needed, not to mention the excruciating process that could take mega-cycle upon mega-cycle of eliminations in order to find a compatible intimate triad.

Megatron, of course, gave him little time at all. And despite Starscream's many excuses to even consider such an invasion of self, he was forced to choose, and choose quickly.

Starscream should have felt humbled at all that volunteered, if not riled by the idea of those having been told. Choosing a trinemate, while not a private thing, was very personal, not something that needed to be spread around and gabbed about.

And even if Skywarp came to his attention through a secondary source that had been trying to prove himself worthy, it had still been an unnecessary invasion of his already delicate time frame.

He never considered Thundercracker. Probably because once upon a time he had been in consideration for second in command to Megatron. In fact, it was TC's refusal of Megatron's request that left the highly coveted position to become a violent tussle of competition. Not that the others ever stood a chance.

A lack of ambition was never something that appealed to Starscream. So how he ended up choosing the remote and far too logical TC, the youngest ever to be appointed as an Elite Seeker, was a play on circumstances and coincidences, of chance meetings. And when he was willing to admit it, even to himself, had been because Megatron told him to.

Ultimately, the choice has never really been his. The ending figure of three dependent on Megatron's approval. Starscream never believed that the overly social Skywarp and the dour Thundercracker could get along, but they did. Never thought he would ever get along with either. But it seemed that Megatron knew exactly what he was doing. Why give him the illusion of a choice though, of picking his own, was another grudge he held against his _great_ and _powerful_ leader.

"Another?"

Starscream stared down at his empty mug of High-Grade, unaware that he had finished it. He shrugged his shoulder panels and a newly filled mug took the empty one's place.

The bar he was in was dark and crowded and loud, filled with reprobates, mercenaries, the displaced and the undesirable. Just the kind of place he could feel comfortable in. And watching those dangerous, infamous dregs clear a space for him at the counter, never _ever_ got old.

Neither did the short-lived but highly satisfying tussles of those that tried to prove themselves by besting him. Truly, that was a lost cause. And as the third attempt was dragged out of the tavern, servo bent and chassis burned and still smoking, the conversations finally picked up, and he was left alone.

At least by the patrons. Inside his processor though, was an entirely different matter.

He could filter his wingmates, even bury the link between them, but recently he had gotten vast amounts of data input from TC, flashes of images that titillated, sensations that stirred and moved, emotions that disrupted and disturbed and leaked through their shared link.

And while that crack in TC's stringent control only lasted mere human seconds, it was enough for Starscream's thoughts to race and his mind to open, thoughts of his past to replay as if one of those human movies.

He felt the need to get slagged after, which is why the course deviation to the moon-based tavern had been highly necessary. Yet another detour on his trip to Renth. Over a month had gone by since he had been given the Bot's message, time that he used effectively as he leisurely made his way to the female's planet. He resented being used as a go-between, especially by an Autobot. But the message had turned into a nagging reminder in his processor, one that was probably useless by now, but still managed to distract him with its implications.

"Starscream, I found the data you were looking for." Lag came up behind him, slid a data pad toward him and stood off to the side.

He took the tablet, glanced over it. "This isn't anything I don't already know," Starscream groused with displeasure.

Lag moved closer. He lowered his vocals. "I couldn't find much. Thundercracker's activities over that last half a mega-cycle, well, they are not easy to substantiate, especially since he was in another sector, and…" There it was again, that reverence that Lag's vocals always took on when he spoke of TC. His dark purple optics lit up with a giddiness that really didn't suit someone of his formidable size.

Starscream interrupted before that got out of servo, or just plain embarrassing. "What of Sunstreaker and TC?"

"If you want to know, perhaps you should ask the source."

Starscream smiled. He had been aware of his wingmate's proximity for some time. Trinemates may not be aware of every thought and inclination of the others, but one thing, they always had the ability to know where the other was, if not blocked. TC had been so readable lately, so easy to trace. Something he now knew, was not an error or slip. His appearance here meant that he had been apart from the human for the first time since The Pit. He ignored the way that Lag quickly moved out of the way to give Thundercracker room, his optics heavily upon his wingmate like some dumbstruck youngling.

"As if you would tell me." Starscream turned around to face his wingmate. With him so close, he was suddenly aware of the stress that lined his trinemate's consciousness, a despair that seeped into his optics and made his wings droop. TC's appearance while none the less impressive was hindered by some unknown displeasure. "Leave _someone_ behind, did you?" He asked with disdain, his optics roaming along the floor beneath them. "I thought you were going to make Renth your permanent residence." The Supreme Air Commander couldn't help but try to goad.

Movement began behind TC, some quickly clearing the area when they recognized who had joined Starscream. The tavern went silent again, and it wasn't that that made what happened next almost predictable, but the way one of the mechs in the back had been trying a little too hard not to look his way.

So when a plasma rifle folded out of the Merc's servo, a blade appearing in his right hand, when he charged and missed, Starscream had just enough time to laugh in spite before he realized, during his musings, his distraction with his trinmate's going ons, that he had missed a most vital point.

The mercenary had friends.

And it wasn't a tussle they were looking for, but Energon. His Energon or TC's, it didn't matter. What mattered is that they had been hired to bring him down by yet another coward, albeit a very wealthy one.

Thundercracker's own blade flipped out of his right servo, his left hand folding so tightly that his joints cracked. TC wanted things close, and messy, his choice of blade and fist only another indication of his foul mood.

"Bring it." He motioned toward the six that remained behind, not sparing Starscream even a glance as he began to advance. Stunned and encouraged by his wingmate's unmerciful and vengeful presentation that had not been on display often enough, he joined the fray.

* * *

The mercs were well-armed, and well-informed, were prepared for their weapons and tactics, and obviously willing to be dismantled, dismembered, even terminated, if it meant they went out honoring their contracts. Mercenaries were problematic enough without having some sort of integrity toward their given charge.

And finding out that their vocals had been willingly severed left interrogation a tricky proposition, which is why he let Lag have the last remaining two.

Returning to the front of the bar, the Supreme Air Commander ordered two more High-grades at the now totally empty counter, sliding one down to TC.

Lights flickered around them, electricity surged from exposed wires and ripped out walls. The air was heavy with smoke, the taint of spilled Energon.

Neither he, nor TC had come away from the scuffle unharmed.

Thundercracker now held a large gash of a slash across the right of his face. Starscream has lost three digits on his left hand, a section of paneling on his right pediform. And by the way TC almost missed his mouthpiece when he took a swig of High-Grade, he knew there were other smaller malfunctions that his internal repairs would easily fix.

Starscream's injuries though, meant he would need to see a medic.

"You shouldn't have come back to this sector," TC spoke, his vocals scratchy and off. He touched his neckpiece, cringed and then scowled at Starscream.

"You didn't need to come to me, TC. I was most willing to return to _Renth_."

"Yes. I know." Already, his wingmate's vocals had returned to normal, but his tone had worsened. Thundercracker gripped his mug tightly, turning away from Starscream. "Renth is off limits."

"Just because you have claimed some…."

His vocals turned absolutely severe, marred with a dangerous rasp of warning. "You miscalculate my outcome. And you will head my words."

Starscream's mouth lifted, the smile stretching across his face until he cringed at the stab of pain. Slag, even his face hurt. He began a diagnostic on his self-repair systems, wondering what was taking so slagging long.

"Things not work out between you and the human? A pity because…"

"Don't go there."

"And where exactly do you think I was _going_?"

"She is off limits too."

"What makes you think that…"

TC turned back toward him, his foul mood allowing room for a healthy dose of resentment. "I am in no mood for your word games today. I _know_ of your interest regarding her, but it ends here and now."

"Did you leave her, or did _she_ tell you to?" He found that prospect highly pleasing. He used the information in an endeavor to incite his trinemate. "What did you expect? That human is more morally inclined than even some Autobots, has a youngling and shares a past with you that no matter what she tells you," he leaned closer to TC, savoring his next words, "will _not_ be erased. You could never hope to more than a curiosity, or a temporary outlet for physical fulfillment in her bed."

She wasn't a femme, she wasn't a Cybertronian, and Starscream couldn't seem to care anymore, not with the way she thickened his Energon, not with the deliciously forbidden curiosity she had awakened in _him_.

"I left," TC spoke as soon as Starscream finished, the revelation an astounding one that had Starscream floundering for a reply. TC was known for his honesty, for his bluntness, but not like this, not with _him_ , not in a long while. "She is… afraid of me."

At that added tidbit, the Supreme Air commander was blown away. For a moment, one that wasn't even considered, he thought of burying all that had come between them and offering what assurance he could, but what was said was delectable, was highly satisfying, made him perk up and forget his bodily pangs, made him want to bend into jet form, fly long and hard and fast.

Which, of course, with their proximity and the strength of his thoughts, TC picked up.

His wingmate got up, stepped toward him and stared down. "Stay away from Renth, stay away from _her_ ," TC said lowly, the threat even more clear than before.

"I will, _readily_ , if you join me. Let us put our disagreements in the past, let us take up arms, as we just had and rid the galaxy of…."

"Spare me the rhetoric," TC interrupted. "We both know you do not forgot things so easily. And thrive on holding grudges."

"Not with you. Not if we were together again. The things we could accomplish are worth forgetting all that you have done to me."

"And your actions toward me?"

"Trifles."

"Trifles," TC repeated the word that was now full of distaste and obvious loathing. He violently pushed Starscream's mug away from him, both watching it careen off the edge of the counter, the thick liquid ebbing on the hard floor below. "Go back to Megatron. You are due to check in, are you not?" TC's mouth lifted up on the side with obvious deprecation. He gave Starscream one last dismissive glance, and walked away. Starscream didn't like that.

The Supreme Air Commander turned around, eased backward on the tall stool and leaned against the counter, his optics following his wingmate's retreat. "And what do I tell Megatron this time? Even I can only come up with so many excuses."

"Tell him the truth. Let him or his lackeys come. It doesn't matter."

"You are making a mistake." Everyone knew you didn't so blatantly cross Megatron. And no matter what TC's intentions, he was just begging for all that would follow, including the repercussions that would surely bleed onto his own trinemates. The lack of responsibility, the disregarding of consequences. Something was most definitely _off_ about TC.

TC came to an abrupt stop. But Starscream knew, even before the trickle of a jolt that came from his wingmate, that it was not because of him.

Desperation came from Thundercracker, a keen craving, the sense of absolute loss, of a flicker of hope that was dispelled so brutally that it made Starscream's head swim before even more emotions permeated their bond. As only Starscream and Skywarp knew and recognized, what TC attached himself to, he felt deeply for, as was proven yet again when Warp had gotten himself into quite a bothersome spot not too long ago, which Thundercracker had not only gotten him out of, but taken the blame for with Megatron. And then there was that mutt of his that he not only trained but took with him wherever he traveled.

And yet this upchucking of emotion from his wingmate was still an astonishment, an announcement of who was obviously standing below TC.

"I didn't say no, TC," The female spoke, referring to what, Starscream could only guess. His Energon went cold. He felt numb and at a loss. He didn't want them together. Not right now, not ever. Not as friends, not as lovers, no matter how temporary any of those arrangements would prove. He felt bitterness swell within his frame, his optics dimming with concentration.

"You also didn't say yes," Thundercracker replied with bitterness, with a tone that was hard and uncompromising.

A lesser being would have run.

The female didn't though. Starscream moved closer, stepping beside his wingmate to get a better view.

He almost wished he hadn't. The longing on Alexis' face almost matched the volume of his trinemate's despair, the anomaly for TC's unrepentant violence toward the mercs, easily explained. No femme had ever looked at him as she was TC, the adoration heavily pungent. He felt sickened by it. His wings stiffened behind his backpanel, his spark chamber turned cold with heavy disturbance.

Rivet stood behind Alexis. Watchful but giving the two distance. He made sure no one entered the tavern, a Difler Rod on display and obviously ready to be used if necessary. He ignored Starscream, or tried to, but there was a twitch in his optics that showed signs of awareness.

The female once again showed her astuteness. She may have been bold enough to come to such a place, but she was not foolish enough to come alone.

He stared at her. Her apparel was obviously picked carefully. The thick khakis and long jacket she wore allowed her to arm herself with both a sidearm and her beloved staff that were kept out of visual view. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, shorter strands already loose around her shoulders. She was fidgeting as she seemed to do when nervous. But it wasn't until she took off her jacket to access a hidden pocket that both Seekers noticed the anomaly immediately.

Alexis was no longer wearing her mating band.

And that was when Starscream just _knew_.

Which meant TC knew as soon as he did.

Which really made for a most interesting display when TC, strangely, _terrifyingly_ , began to _babble_.


	17. Status

Alexis felt really good. Waking, yet still half asleep, she lazily opened her eyes. Some mornings, like this one, she felt at peace, felt wonderful, the groggy feeling of not being quite awake, and not wanting to be, a pleasant feeling on its own.

Aaron had snuck into her bed some time during the night, his small, long body stretched and spread out behind her. Their cat Coral squeezed between them, licking her self languidly, getting Aaron's nose in the process who was close to the feline's face.

Like her son, Coral thrived on Renth, more so than Refuge. The cat had full access to the grand house, and got more attention than any animal she had ever seen. The kitten Sunstreaker had given her had grown into a fluffy, incredibly soft, attention seeking feline that while attached to her alone for a long while, had bonded to her son when he began to crawl and then walk and speak, had no problems with anyone she ever met, charming all with her soft fur and talkative persona.

She had even seen her brother-in-law Zarnaih have the cat on his lap, softly petting the orange tabby, and looking quite content doing so. Renth didn't have domesticated animals beyond birds and aquatic animals. So a cat was new for them.

And while Terra had visited Renth with TC on more than one occasion, and was a curiosity as well, the dog's detached demeanor, and protective sometimes adversarial nature, had them keeping their distance.

Alexis watched her son slowly wake. He stretched and yawned, petting Coral until the feline began to purr loudly. Alexis scooted closer, wrapped her arms around Aaron, the cat getting stuck between them, at least until it jumped away and then off the bed.

"Morning."

"Morning, mom."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just missed you."

She hugged Aaron, kissed his cheek and then his forehead. He yawned loudly and sat up on the bed. He began to speak, already wide awake and very serious.

"I've been thinking about Thundercracker. A lot. I know he wants to be with us, to be with _you_ , I just... is he anything like my father?" Her baby boy asked of her. Although he was more a young man now, and still growing every day. Aaron frowned. His bright eyes lit up with contemplation. "He has darkness inside him. I smell it. But I don't think he wants to be that way." The frown deepened, a distress apparent even if it was not on display. "Do you _love_ him? Is _he_ to be my _father_?"

Alexis pulled him back down with her, wrapped her arms around his small body.

"Sometime I just don't know." She took in a deep breath. "But there's more a chance I do, than do not." Alexis told him as honestly as she could. "I didn't know I loved your father until he sent me away."

"He sent you away?" he asked. They had talked a lot about Airaih over the passing years, and still her son held a strong interest regarding his father.

She nodded her head. "In a manner of speaking. But that was when I had my great realization…" Alexis smiled wistfully, thinking back to a time that had seem so difficult, but only proved a stepping stone to the great things to come.

"When did you know that you loved me?"

Alexis laughed at that question, ruffled his hair.

"The moment I knew you were a part of my future."

"And is Thundercracker to be part of our future?"

Alexis turned Aaron around so she could look into his face. "I know you like TC. And you know I like him. But the question is, do _you_ want a future with him?"

Her son gave her a blank look, gathering his thoughts. He sat up again, his feet crossed in front of him.

He spoke slowly, enunciating his words as he considered them, "He makes you happy. Why would I want to separate you from that?" His simple answer had her tearing up. He blinked hard, then patted her on the arm in a show of great concern. "Oh, mom. Don't cry. Everyone deserves to be happy, especially you. I know you always put me first, but someday I will grow up and live my own life. When that happens, you will need someone to keep you company besides me."

That had her wiping her tears off. She began to laugh.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No." She shook her head, tapped his little nose and gave him a hug. Aaron never minded her physical shows of love, despite how his cousins stared, despite how human it was. He didn't allow many to touch him, perhaps due to his Vildan heritage, or just his sensitive nature, either way, Alexis just hoped he never out grew such things.

"You're so adorable. And sometimes, thank God, such a kid." Alexis got out of bed, playfully put her hands on her hips. "Now don't you have some training to do today?"

At that her son seemed to visibly shrink, his shoulders hunching, a frown tainting his lips. Alexis immediately felt dread.

"There is something I think I should show you."

* * *

She gave Aaron the holo-trainer that Airaih had made her all those years ago, a week before she departed The Pit. They had activated it for the first time together a day before she left on that trip, and still she could remember the awe in her son's eyes of seeing his father standing in front of them, almost real, nearly solid.

The learning apparatus had been especially programmed for her use, and while she found from Sharaih that she could add a person, it was not really meant to be used by anyone but her.

"Mom. I don't want you to overreact," Aaron told her, his lids narrowed as if she was going to suddenly burst out in a fit of an emotional song. He put the module down in front of them on the training room floor. "It's… _changed_."

"Changed? I don't understand. Show me," she told him, willing to fix the error, not prepared for what was to come.

He activated the device. Airaih's form solidified.

"Greetings, my son." He stepped toward Alexis, reached out, then dropped his hand. "Zsar'inay Alexandra."

This wasn't the automated and preprogrammed responses she was used to, and the familiarity and warmth that lined his words made her limbs tremble.

* * *

It may have been an aberration, but it wasn't an error, her brother-in-law explained, just programing that had been created and then buried into the base software that was activated a couple of times after her son's use. Which meant Airaih had prepared for the eventuality of her having children, of having a son. He even prepared for his death. His too practical nature preceded even his death. The programming, the facsimile of her husband, didn't just respond to questions, but asked ones of its own. And the way it responded to Aaron, left her hands shaking, left her heart straining against what would never ever be.

Of course though, she reacted. Barely made it to her room in time before the sobs came. Alexis buried herself under the covers, the images of that shadow of her long dead husband interacting with her, with _their_ son, a reminder of what had been taken from her, what she lost.

She still missed Airaih. Alexis would _always_ miss him. And while she could be prone to these emotional remembrances of him, she hadn't felt this affected in years.

Alexis couldn't eat. Could barely sleep. And it wasn't until her son had gone to bed later that night that she took the module, went to her room and activated it. She then had a conversation with a remnant of her husband's consciousness.

By the time morning came, many tears shed and so many things said, she deactivated the device, more settled than she had been in quite some time.

* * *

Alexis didn't truly notice that Thundercracker was missing until two days later. What with the commotion of her family getting prepared for Refuge, the altered teaching module that she had decided she wouldn't take from her son and everything in between.

But he could leave Renth for days at a time. So she really didn't think about it until she realized he was not responding to her messages. By the end of the week, still not a word from him, or a sighting of his ship, she knew exactly what he'd done.

For such a brilliant person, TC could be such an idiot.

Alexis should have known, with that last night she spent with him, the things he said, the things TC didn't ask her even though she knew he wanted to, where that was all leading.

Truly, the Seeker hadn't even been that subtle about it, at least for him. And his sacrificial nature, while endearing, this time, pissed her off. He didn't let her answer, just assumed the worst. Didn't even say goodbye, not to her, not to her son. All the time they'd spent together, everything they'd been through, and the moment conflict appeared, he retreated to his solitary existence.

"I have a favor to ask," Alexis told Rivet as soon as his shuttle landed on Renth. She had already spoken with her family, and while they didn't understand, they were willing for the delay of their departure back to Refuge. "I need to find Thundercracker."

* * *

By the time they found TC, Rivet tracing rumors and shadows of a trail, she wasn't as mad as she had been, only anxious to see him. Alexis didn't expect to find him on a moon that was only inhabited by the largest bar she'd ever seen, or to watch a group of the scariest mechs she had ever seen exit the building in a flurry of expediency, only to be told that there was a fight going on inside, and with whom.

Forced to wait until it was over, Rivet accompanied her inside.

While the bar was nicer than she was expecting, it was dark and torn apart, and mostly cleared out. TC was moving toward the exit, toward her. Alexis heart fluttered. She sped up and stepped in front of him, hands up in a stopping motion, even though by then his peds had long ceased movement.

She had so many things she wanted to tell him, so much to say. Of course her mind went blank, and the shocked, afflicted expression that TC wore had her saying the first thing on her mind.

"I didn't say no, TC."

"You also didn't say yes," was his solemn, bitter reply. His optics were severed on her, his chest lightly glowing along the edges of his cockpit. Starscream walked alongside his wingmate, staring at her with a severity that once upon a time would have made her want to crawl into a deep dark hole. Her mini tablet that was vibrating in her pocket spared her from reacting to him. Removing her coat, she pulled the tablet out of the inner protective pocket, finding a message from her son that she replied to despite being extremely distracted.

Alexis found Starscream and TC staring at her, no, not at her, at her arm. Shrinking inwardly, because what it meant was personal and so new, and obviously understood by both, she was ready to say something when TC opened his mouth and began to speak, words pouring out of him in abundance. He mostly spoke of her safety, of the foolishness of being where she was, or even walking into the bar. But then his words slowed, his stance softened, and he looked at her, beseeching and longing and filled with such hope that whatever he said next, was something that deeply moved him.

"Did _you_ come for _me_?"

Even with her right in front of him, the Seeker didn't seem to believe it. He wanted confirmation.

She nodded her head. The world moved around her, air shifting violently around her body when Thundercracker picked her up and brought her upward and a good distance away from Starscream. A long time had passed since she was this close to him. His optics were vibrant, pooling with red and swimming with violent patches of yellow. They possessed her, drew her in and had her leaning toward him, nearly losing balance on his hand. Flushing, shivering some, Alexis wrapped her coat around her body, knowing he was watching everything she did.

"You came for me," TC spoke again. The words no longer a question.

She nodded her head, trying to keep her balance, only for a couple of his digits to rise behind her in an effort to keep her upright. His flattened palm may have been large but she wasn't that small, and his hand was trembling.

"And you left without telling me!" she spoke with affront, with hurt, with emotion.

His gaze sharpened upon her. "You are afraid of me."

The storm that was his eyes surged with what Alexis said next.

"You think too much about something so insignificant. So I may be afraid of you sometimes. That could be said about _anyone_. Everyone has their scary side. And I know you will never hurt me or my son, know that that fear is just another barrier that is trying to keep me away from you." Alexis took a deep breath, felt her skin crawl with the awe and expectation that he watched her with.

She had more to say. Alexis took a deep breath, swallowed down the lump in her throat, and forced herself to keep her eyes locked on his own. She really couldn't have looked away if she wanted to, not with the pining expression he wore that made her want to cry, or laugh, or say _such_ things.

Maybe Alexis spoke too quickly, maybe she said too much, at that point she was lucky she could open her mouth at all with the way her nerves were on edge and sharply prickling. She felt lighthearted, a little giddy, and exceedingly aware of the hand that held her. "Whether you believe it or not, TC, you are a part of my life, an important part, one that I will _not_ give up. Maybe we are different, and ill-matched, but we understand each other, for the most part, and if we continue to try to understand one another, well, understanding is _really_ important, more than some people realize... I believe _we_ are worth the effort. I believe _you_ are."

By the time she finished speaking, he nearly dropped her.

* * *

TC allowed her to clean the cut on his face, wipe the Energon off his hands. It wasn't as if she hadn't touched him before, or even cleaned his bruises and cuts. But this was the first time as a Cybertronian. Her hands wanted to linger, her eyes were wide and taking him in, the touch awakening another form of curiosity that made her want to know and discover him in a manner that would not afford spectators. How little she knew him. How much she wanted to.

Standing near the counter of the bar, Starscream watched and hovered above Alexis, looking like someone who was several layers past shell-shocked. But not so far gone that he couldn't be impertinent. And she wouldn't think of the places his optics traveled as he stared at her.

"Are you going to attend to me next?" Starscream suddenly spoke, obviously keen to that idea. Being this close to TC, Alexis couldn't help but see the way his optics dimmed, his hands clench.

"No." She frowned, sparing a quick glance at his missing digits. He pulled his hand back and covered it, actually appearing embarrassed, or perhaps she just mistook that for something else.

"Whatever agreement you two believe you have come to, it will never endure, and I will not allow it." He leaned toward TC, whispering with devious intent. "Unless this is going to be a _group_ learning exercise."

Thundercracker sharply stood to his feet. His tall stool went teetering behind him. He held his palm out toward her, ready to leave. He wasn't looking at her though, but Starscream, his expression dark and unreadable.

Starscream only grinned back at his wingmate, pleased that she hadn't run directly to TC's outstretched hand. His gaze turned more severe when she moved toward TC. The air felt thick and strange, the two Seekers still staring at one another.

And then Starscream's grin stretched and grew and then fell away so quickly, his mouth pushed into a thin line. "Sunstreaker is looking for you," the Supreme Air Commander blasted out, forcing the blue Seeker to drop his hand. "That is why I am here. He wanted me to give you a message," he said with deprecation, showing how put out he was.

TC continued to stare at Starscream, his expression turning even more unfathomable. "Then _proceed_."

Whatever it was, wasn't communicated out loud. Whatever it was, truly didn't matter. Why would Sunstreaker be looking for TC? He detested him. And why, after so long, after almost having forgotten, would Sunstreaker suddenly be a topic of conversation, of a warning?

"We must leave immediately, Alexis."

So preoccupied on watching the two, she almost didn't hear him. But she certainly felt his digit that lightly brushed against her cheek, that lingered on her shoulder and fell intimately down her back. Starscream loudly got up, forcing Alexis' attention on him. He smiled at her wickedly, drank the last of his High-Grade and wiped his mouth off with his glossa in a manner that could only be described as crude. His wings high behind him, he made a grand departure, a figure of a broad mech trailing behind him. He paused at the exit, turned and took one last appreciative look at the ravaged bar before his attention was directed back on TC, then her, his optics burning as Thundercracker picked her up.

Alexis waited until Starscream was completely gone until replying, "Back to Renth?" she suggested, suddenly feeling out of sorts. Now that Starscream had left, the Seeker's unrelenting optics were back on her. She probably should have been frightened at the way he looked at her, but his intensity only made her feel misplaced. No one had looked at her that way in a long while and Alexis supposed she didn't know how to deal with such directed focus. "I want to see my family off." Sunstreaker around or not, she would not be kept from her family. The Autobot had over seven years to contact her, to see her, and he hadn't. There was no reason for him to now.

"Not immediately. We will need to make a detour."

"What kind of detour?"

Thundercracker took them away from the counter, navigated his way through the messy bar, past three worker drones that were still cleaning up the remnants of what could have been more a battle then a fight. She looked back up at him. The injury on his face was now almost gone, a narrow groove where the deep tear of a gash had been. Soon, she knew, that would be gone as well.

He stopped in front of the waiting Rivet, who smiled cordially at the Seeker until TC started to speak. "I suggest that we return to Renth together. Make sure your weapons are armed and you're prepared to battle."

"This Sunstreaker is not someone I am concerned about," Rivet replied. His optics were already on the exit, ready to leave.

"Better to be over prepared than caught off guard."

"And Alexis?" the doctor wanted to know. Only a couple of days had passed in their search for TC, and they had been rather pleasant ones, thanks to him. But he did have the knack of talking a little too much, which she had learned to take in stride over the years.

"She is with me." He gave further instructions, then waited for her to activate her breathing mask. Thundercracker put her down, walked outside and shifted into jet form, a boarding ladder descending as he waited for her to join him.

* * *

"There is something I need to inform you of," TC suddenly spoke, breaking away that silence that had been around them for a good thirty minutes. "Sunstreaker has not been to see you because I have _prevented_ it."

"How?"

"I hired certain _individuals_ to block him."

There hadn't been just rumors about the Seekers on her short trip of looking for TC, but other darker ones. An unknown individual was going around killing mercenaries, destroying properties and creating a path of devastation that even the mighty spoke of in a hushed, almost reverent tone.

"I swore I would never let him hurt you again. Do whatever it took to prevent him from reaching you."

"So he's been trying to…"

"Yes."

Alexis' head dropped, she couldn't help but frown. She'd been prepared for Sunstreaker's return, or had been so many years ago. Strangely, she didn't feel a terrifying dread. Perhaps because she still couldn't believe the Autobot would come for her. Not now. "And he believes his last obstacle is you?"

"He believes I will do what I must to protect you. He does not know of the change in our status." His just serious tone took a curve along a very different path, igniting a physical vibration that caressed a path down her spine and made her toes curl. "That you have claimed me as your own."

Her heart jumped in her chest. Hearing him say it like _that_ made her confront the truth. She did choose him. She did want him. And she knew even before she left Renth what going after him meant. Yes, their status had changed.

"Leaving you once was hard, leaving you twice was excruciating. I will not be leaving you again. I would not survive it. And once we have connected…." Thundercracker's voice fell into a low rumble. Alexis shivered. She fought not to squirm, to close her eyes and replay back that fervent cadence of his words. So focused on _how_ he said it, it took her a moment to process what he did say.

"Connected? I…"

"As is the procedure for courting pairs among Cybertronians. Consider it an engagement ring except more deeply intimate, and more obvious to observers as far as who _belongs_ to who. I know we have much to discuss. Ask anything of me, Alexis, and I will answer."

The cabin suddenly feeling warm, she allowed her hands to linger on the edge of his console. He was cool to the touch, sleek and foreign, and yet so familiar. Maybe what she was doing was foolish, was several layers of strange, who she was and what he was, a conflict on its own. But she _had_ made her choice, and she would not be deterred, not by her family, not by Sunstreaker, and most certainly not by herself.


	18. Transition

She Came For Him. She came for him. _She_ came for _him_.

Thundercracker still couldn't seem to get beyond what the female had done, her words and her actions stunning his mind into such unfettered _joy_ that he was sure he would never recover.

Taking some detours, he took Alexis back to Renth. The Seeker stayed while she saw her parents off, then had her and Aaron come with him after. Renth was not safe right now, Sunstreaker's reemergence made that quite clear, and Alexis was not willing to allow harm to come to Airaih's family.

Alexis didn't believe the Bot could possibly want anything with her after all the passing years. And while that would have been satisfactory, one did not cause such destruction if things hadn't gotten personal, if one wasn't searching for something important.

Alexis was important.

And while the Autobot had kicked Alexis out when he found she was pregnant, something that Alexis finally managed to tell him, he was still bonded to the female. And no matter how many years had passed he _would_ come for her.

Because TC would have. Because TC d _id_.

Once things got settled, once he knew Alexis and her son were safe, he would find Sunstreaker.

Time to take care of that blackguard scum himself.

* * *

"This is for you." Thundercracker nodded his head downward. A small door slid open, revealing a room fashioned in human style.

Alexis' mouth fell open as she peered inside. She backed right back out and stared up at him.

"You already have a room for me?"

He nodded his head, not reveling that he had prepared it years ago during a time when he missed her greatly.

"There is a room for Aaron as well." He pointed farther down the hall. That didn't stop the youngling from entering his mother's quarters and putting his stuff down near her bed.

Aaron hadn't said much since their departure. But he watched the two with sharp eyes and blatant curiosity. Taking his mom's small travel cases, he placed them beside his own.

"When do we eat?" he then asked.

Alexis chuckled. TC's mouth lifted in response to her mirth. Aaron pushed between the two, his nose leading him to where his crew had carefully prepared the two some food.

Terra, who had been sitting beside TC's left ped, got up and followed after the youngling. As soon as the dog was gone, Alexis' cat began to yowl inside the small container.

"If I let Coral out, will Terra eat her?"

"She may chase her, but she will not harm her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"This cat likes to get into everything," Alexis told him as she twisted the knob on the carrier to release the feline. "If you prefer me to keep her in this room, I can do that."

"This is your residence now. I want you to be comfortable."

Alexis picked up the cat and give it a little squeeze, brushed her hand down it's furry back before letting it go. The cat rushed under the bed.

"I'm not comfortable," Alexis whispered to him. She stood back up, looked up at him. She gave him a small smile. "But I will be, with you here."

She sat down on the bed and changed her shoes into more comfortable sandals. The female had slim ankles that went well with her lean legs. Alexis was trim for a human female, her seductiveness a natural element of everything she did. Even the calm manner in which she breathed in and out had him thinking of entering her room, of pressing her down onto the bed until her vitals raged, her body heaved and gave and offered…

Her eyes met TC's optics. She blushed, somehow aware of where his processor had taken him. The female took in a hiss of a breath, her eyes traveling leisurely from his pediforms back to his waiting optics.

His intakes sped up, even as he forced them back into submission. Alexis wanting him wasn't anything new, but the way she looked at him now had decidedly _altered_. Thundercracker's hand grabbed to the frame of her door. He took a step back. Knowing if he didn't, he would enter her room and take the highly provocative course his mind had offered him.

Thundercracker would have if Aaron wasn't nearby, rushing back to get his mother to go to the dining hall with him. Alexis brushed against his right lower pediform as the two passed, offered him a small smile and an unspoken invitation to join them.

One, became two, became three.

It wasn't happiness Thundercracker felt, but a great expectation for the things to come. His mind was focused on the female, of what she was offering him by being with him, of what she would give. The moment she came for him their entire dynamic had changed.

Alexis didn't just come to him so he could court her.

For the female never went halfway, didn't make idle considerations pertaining to such things as this. She was committed to what was to come, of what her decision meant.

The female had come back to be his mate. There would be no other outcome.

And at that conclusion, something inside his spark configured and stirred anew, his confidence steeled, his ardent feelings for the female evolving.

Not even bonded to her yet, and he was already feeling the effects, his systems converting, his flesh trembling with anticipation. He suddenly felt highly sensitive to all that was around him, the female his central point.

Staying with them as they ate their lunch passed by in a glorious daze.

* * *

He didn't mean to pounce on her like some beast in heat the moment they were alone. But since her arrival back on the ship his poise had transmuted into something far from self-control and reason. So that was how she ended up on the Stellar Cartography table, the floating simulation of holographic starcharts he had truly tried to show her forgotten about, hovering and dancing above them both.

Climbing above her, wings stretched and body curled protectively around her tiny form, Alexis reached up toward him, indicated for him to move closer, her small mouth pressing against his larger digit in a show of acquiescence.

This time when he touched her, Thundercracker didn't hold back. This time when his energy pressed, surrounded and buried itself in her, there would be no brother interrupting them, no Starscream, no one there to try to stop him.

Their minds met in battle of consciousness. The sensual awareness of her body pressed under his digit faded away as her life, her experiences, her thoughts drained inside his unquenchable processor in a sizable jumble.

TC saw her family through Alexis' eyes, saw her time with her brother as the two grew up, the closeness between the two that lasted until their teens. Alexis hated school. Didn't particularly like her job at the craft store. She didn't have many friends, had a fair share of disappointments, had almost talked herself out of going on the trip that had taken her years to save up for.

And when she returned, her goals and dreams started to seem possible, her future not as terrifying as before… until _they_ arrived.

Thundercracker felt her shock, her pain, her terror. Her future taken away as her life became ripped down to the basics of survival. And the two _did_ survive. Despite the withdrawals Josh had from his medications, despite the danger and the deaths and the invasion of their planet.

He saw the challenges Alexis went through, felt her withdrawal from the world that had turned dark and tragic and empty, saw what she and her brother had to do to survive. More than TC would have believed, more than he would have thought the female capable of. And while her faith may have wavered in humanity, her belief in her God remained. Her prayers for her and her brother, her world and all her species a constant companion, a reason for hope.

Alexis was strong, for her brother, because of her brother, because she had no other choice.

He saw her capture, a hazy adrenaline-filled event that led her to him.

She feared him from the start, despised him, and was exceedingly curious about him. Even during a time she was unwilling to admit, found him fascinating in a manner that had frightened and _stirred_ her. Alexis saw a goodness in him that made her hope, only to be disappointed by his actions that reminded her who he truly was when he left her behind to be caged and tormented and taunted by Starscream, a momentary suffering that led to her freedom.

A freedom that was frightening, was solitary and familiar, was strange.

Timothy came into her life, a companion, a friend, a confidant, someone who had grown into so much more, only to depart her life as abruptly as he had entered it, leaving her with a sense of loss and disassociation that wrecked havoc with her psyche. There was suffocating sadness, loss and despair, and dreadful longing for a friend that was an enemy that no matter what he'd done, Alexis couldn't forget.

And then there was Sideswipe: aggravation, fury, physical contact and desired distraction, disappointment and the feeling of worthlessness. Sunstreaker came into her life after, but now, after all these years, all she really remembered was Airaih, their time on the fighting barge and then Renth, the precious memories they shared.

Suddenly everything led to a bedroom, Alexis' bedroom. She was straining with every breath she took, her naked flesh prickling with new sensations and added physical pressure. Someone was above her, pressing down and in, foreign words whispered against her ear, a tongue laving her pulse, a hand pressing between…

Thundercracker was thrown out of the memory. Alexis' mind was heavy with pain, with intrusion, with memories that she cherished as her own and was unwilling to share. Thundercracker tried to get back to that room, desperate to watch, to feel, to catch a glimmer of what she felt when she was with _him_ , even if he would regret, even if already he wished he never saw.

But that room opened several others. She was under Sunstreaker, then above, wanting him. There were moments with TC, of longing, of more want, then years that passed of denied fulfillment. There had been no one since Airaih, since she allowed Sunstreaker to spark her, no one until him.

Her mind was suddenly probing Thundercracker's, tentatively searching through his own memories. She saw more than he meant for her to, more than he knew she was ready for, and when flashes of his own physical encounters began to become the prominent feature, the Seeker tried to lead her away, only to break apart from her completely.

Alexis was breathing with pronounced difficulty, her eyes averted away. He gently lifted her tear streaked face. What she saw was hurting her, what she saw made her ache and tremble.

"I can stop."

"No, no you can't," Alexis whispered with heavily affected words, with pronounced determination. Despite what she saw, the female still wanted him, was determined to forget and move forward, with him.

She was right though, he couldn't stop. For this wasn't just a simple connection he was forming with her, but a permanent bond. The surfaced memories, the unburied emotions and revealed past, all that was necessary to ensure that when he took Alexis there would be no errors, no mistake, and most certainly no regrets.

But Thundercracker had regrets. He meant to court her properly and give her time to prepare for this. But his mind and the tightening of his spark under his chamber had far different ideas. There would be no courting her, not anymore. Not with how ready he was, how every parnec of him pleaded for this completion. After all, he had been ready for her years ago, and his spark had accepted her long before that. She had been the one for so long that their prolonged separation, the doubts and the anguish, now only seemed a necessary path that had to be taken in order to secure the female below him.

"I don't want you to stop, Thundercracker. I want this." Her eyes finally lifted up, her small hand resting on his that was so much larger than her own.

The physical difference in size should have intimidated. She was so tiny. She would _always_ be tiny. Yet while their physical dichotomy should have proved a difficulty, it merely presented a mystery of a challenge that he was determined to unravel. He was so very _willing. H_ e would try anything with her, give her whatever she needed, do anything she wanted, no matter how physically unnatural for a Cybertronian. As long as he was doing it to her, _with_ her, inside her. Whatever form, whatever method, whatever was necessary. The strangeness of what a human female needed was no longer daunting or disturbing, but a promise of further mutual learning and intimate exploration.

Alexis' eyes were shining with his drained energy, the already vibrant orbs burning a brilliant green. Her hair was spread out behind her head, her pale skin glowing faintly. She made a tantalizing vision.

His sentiment for the creature below him turned his already turbulent thoughts into a frenzy of need, his spark raw with loss from their lack of contact. He trembled at the momentary separation, eased by her presence, by her words, by the knowledge that after this he wouldn't have to feel the loneliness that only she could induce in him, not ever again.

"I choose you. All of you. Now, until death do us part."

"Till the end?"

She nodded her head, planted a soft kiss on his nearest digit before lifting it back up and planting it on her naked belly where her shirt had lifted, voluntarily reestablishing their connection. "Until the end."

* * *

The memories and experiences came swiftly now, times with her son, some of what he had been up to while he'd been gone, too much for either to fully process. But when he saw Starscream enter the picture, the resentment from before, that jealously when she was with another, possessed him and took over.

Alexis didn't hide her attraction for his wingmate, despite the bitterness and hostility it provoked within him, but felt inclined to try to hide her time with Starscream. The things Screamer said. The things he _tried_. The things the female should have told him, but was determined to deal with on her own.

Thundercracker would have been more enraged if he wasn't so far gone in stimulation. The memories had slowed, sensation and emotions, desires and needs coming to the forefront. There was reaching and pulling, some restraint on Alexis' part until she gave into him. Their minds tangled together and pressed against, her thoughts, his thoughts, their wants a slideshow of positions and caresses, of forbidden touches and tastes, as himself, as a man, surfaced fantasies that left both straining.

And when the pressure in his chassis was more than he could ignore or restrain, his optics lit, his sparkchamber opened and he felt himself explode and intrude and find, his biological signature grafting to the female's own with sensitive force, green eyes glowing beneath him, the glimmering lights of simulated stars and nearby moons flickering above them painted in her eyes.

Two became one, became something new.

Inseparable, together, complete.

Bonded.


	19. Twine

Starscream was in a foul mood. He'd been in a bad mood since seeing Thundercracker again, since meeting up with Skywarp, since reporting in and receiving new orders from Megatron.

And although he was quite loathe to admit it, he was depressed as well. Irascible, hostile and volatile. He took it out on his crew on board his ship by giving them extra duties. Took it out on Skywarp by exercising his authority and forcing him to remain for training exercises.

After all, just because he was miserable didn't mean he couldn't bring others down around him. Nothing worse than such self-inflicted frustration than having others around you functioning at optimal efficiency.

"Must we, _now_?" Skywarp groused as they made their way to the training deck. The corridors were clear and silent. His crew knew him well enough to stay out of his way. He wasn't beyond adding to their already full workpile.

"That or I could disown you for the next three megacycles."

" _Again_?"

Starscream lifted an optic ridge, his mouth tight and ill-humored, his wings tensing behind his back panel in warning. Warp cringed and jerked backwards, only to give Starscream a slip of a smile that was an effort in mollification, of a playfulness that the Elite Seeker did not seem capable of growing out of. Stopping before the bay doors, Starscream gave Skywarp another pointed stare, which resulted in Warp verbally giving the command to open the doors.

"Things went well with Megatron," Skywarp felt the need to say as they entered the large deck.

"So."

"But TC has been in a really good mood lately. I mean _really_ good."

" _And_."

"Well, there is a correlation with your..." Warp gave him a sideways glance, overstating his effort in being careful at how he looked at him. "...prickly self and TC's good vibes."

"Cease talking and fight."

"I think talking would be better for you."

"You think anything is better than training."

"I think training is pointless without TC here with us."

With those words the space around them transformed.

There was no need for programming, or even equipment, no need for sparing partners, and definitely no need for safety measures. As soon as they walked inside the empty training deck, it read their processors, analyzed their hostilities and prepped a simulation specially designed for both. The interactive deck was based on the technology used in holo-forms, just as realistic, yet confined to the area they were in.

The atmosphere became humid and damp. Starscream's pediforms sank into soft earth, the rest of the deck darkening and altering until it took on the familiar features of the hostile planet Prench.

They were attacked immediately. He recognized the campaign. It was one of the Trine's last missions before heading toward Earth. Sent to incapacitate some neutral mechs that had foolhardily assisted Optimus Prime and his dwindling crew, things had been straight forward and simple.

This time it was as if the hostiles had received warning. This time they were prepared for the Seeker's arrival.

Arming his null-ray cannons, he watched as Skywarp blinked out of existence, only to appear several paces ahead. A jaded sword protruded out of the chassis of one of their prey as virulent liquid sprayed out and dissolved their ineffective armor. Three more surrounded his wingmate, as another group converged on Starscream's position. Backing up into the dense foliage, he quickly modified his null-ray's dispersal into a widened burst that effectively discharged the attacker's weapons and momentarily stunned them.

Ejecting his canons, they combined into a long, sleek double-bladed sword, perfectly balanced and in tune with his violent aspirations. The Supreme Seeker twirled it effortlessly in his hand, switching it to his left and then back to his right as he re-familiarized himself with the blade. Instinct had him dodging onto his knee-plate; he thrust the blade backwards and up and through a chest plate, effectively disabling the first of the revived.

The rest came at him with daggers, with an impressive, but highly ineffective crossbow, and even with fists. They were trained better than they had been last time, even managed to get a couple good jabs in. But they were still no match for him. The Seeker could have taken them out from above, as he had last time, but this time, _this time_ he savored it.

Only two were left standing now. But not for long.

The neutrals made the mistake of trying to work together, of trying to surround and block him in. Taking his blade in hand, what was one sword, became two. Starscream's right servo lifted as he blocked the first attacker with ease. His wings lifted up and out, creating a barrier as he turned and dealt with the second. He loosened his hold on his left blade, then let it spring loose on the first. He bent and evaded the second mech's punch whose hand had turned into long daggers, used the leverage of a nearby tree as he jumped off it and twisted around, his other blade shoved through the throat panel of the second.

Both fell.

"That took you long enough," Warp said from up in a nearby tree where he leaned leisurely against a large branch. He jumped down and stared at Starscream's handiwork. He wasn't impressed, but showed signs of exasperated confusion. "But isn't _someon_ e missing?"

Rising to his full height, Starscream's cockpit inflated, he reigned his malcontent on his trinemate.

"I missed no one."

Skywarp had to audacity to chuckle at his truthful boast.

"But isn't Thundercracker supposed to be here with us?" Skywarp shrugged. "He was last time."

He hadn't missed that obvious fact either. But the training simulation obviously had other ideas for TC. And when he heard the familiar charge of weapons above and to the right of him, a dull thud of a landing, a familiar shadow becoming more and pronounced until his fellow Seeker stepped forward, heavily armed and surrounded by once neutral forces, Starscream couldn't stop the wail of a laugh that ripped through his vocal passage. No wonder they were so well prepared this time, TC was leading them.

"Halt program," Warp verbally ordered.

Skywarp came up beside him, waiting for Starscream's manic amusement to cease. His optics were on the group in front of them that had frozen on Skywarp's command. The purple Seeker appeared put out and deeply offended. He crossed his arms over his chassis as his mouth flattened with actual signs of disapproval. Ironic, considering all the diabolical schemes they had accomplished together in the past. "This has got to be _your_ influence. I should have known a fight with TC was inevitable. Ever since he met that human femme, you have misconstrued his intentions and tagged him as a…" he swept his servo toward the manifestation of their wingmate, "traitor."

"He _is_."

"Because he's done what you've never been able to? Or because he's always, no matter what he's done, been in good favor with Megatron? Or is it because he has something you want?"

"He has _nothing_ I want," Starscream unintentionally whined.

Skywarp barked out a tight chuckle at that. "Yeah. Definitely not sounding defensive there. And while you're trying to convince yourself he doesn't, let's understand one thing: I am not fighting TC. Not today. Not because of these grudges you hold. So either change your mainframe, or this _exercise_ is through."

Skywarp always did have the bad habit of sticking up for TC, especially when he really shouldn't have.

Starscream smiled wickedly. "You want a change? _Fine_."

The landscape changed to the familiar surroundings of Cybertron as the wind picked up and howled through the overlord's citadel. Megatron stepped down from his throne chair, his fusion cannon burning with energy. He growled and began to fire, curses issued on both of them as he ordered the rest of his vast fleet to charge.

"This is definitely _not_ what I meant," Warp groused, giving Starscream a vexed look. Both jumped behind a large broken corner wall, giving them momentarily relief from the onslaught of the frontal attack. That lasted all of three nanoclicks. The wall exploded. The two were forced to take off in separate directions.

"Last longer than last time, and I may allow you to pick the next simulation," Starscream informed Warp through their link.

"You're such an afthole," Skywarp yelled out for all to hear, his vocals charged with malcontent.

"And you, Warp, have always talked too much."

* * *

Three days passed on the training deck. Three days that Starscream didn't have to think, but fight, didn't have to consider, just survive, didn't have to do much but repair himself and start another gloriously distracting campaign. Fabricated or not, whatever happened could injure them, even kill them, the risk as great as anything real.

He felt high as his Energon spilled, delirious when he spilled others, and as the two fought through one battle and then the next, some as altered past events or experiences, more as wayward thoughts or long held resentments, he began to appreciate Skywarp in a way he had not in some time.

Skywarp could be careless, carefree, loud and long-winded, a trickster and an irritant. But he could also be vicious, free of restraint, knew how to enjoy and make things enjoyable, knew how to hunt and eradicate, and even if he did it with far too much sprightliness, the effort he used far outweighed his natural levity.

His Trinemate also didn't have to stay with Starscream the entire time, but he did. And even if he talked and asked far too many probing questions, he was a form of close companionship that Starscream had missed for some time.

They fought a combination of Starscream's and Skywarp's adversaries, until everything blurred together. Drones were added to the mix that despite their visual blandness were just as challenging to defeat.

But just because Skywarp stayed, did not mean he didn't _complain_.

"Is this getting a little redundant, or is it just me?" Warp asked, his backpanel to Starscream's, the two once more surrounded by an opposing force, Megatron's minions, if he wasn't mistaken, but they _were_ all starting to look the same.

A thick cable line shot out of Warp's servo, a spike drilling into an opponent's servo, barbs sprouting around the gape of a hole once it cleared the other side. He pulled, jumped into the air, wrapping the line around the three remaining ground troops. Skywarp pulled hard before throwing the line to Starscream. Grappling to stay upright, the fighter drones tumbled and jerked, only to sizzle and burn, an enhanced electrical pulse dancing down the cable from Starscream's digits.

"We could make this a little more _interesting,_ " Starscream offered.

"Your kinds of interesting tend to get us into all kinds of trouble." He retracted the cable line back into his servo, readying another one of his inventions of a weapon, each one just as deadly as the last. "I'm in. Details?"

"A race."

"Ground or air?"

"Either."

"Chosen targets?"

"Aerial drones and ground troopers," Starscream told his eager wingmate. "Whoever reaches the specified zone first, with the most kills, wins."

"Prize?"

"If I win, I want the schematics on your repulsor torrents."

"And I want to borrow Lag, a cycle, maybe two, no questions asked," Skywarp announced with a grin that meant whatever his lieutenant was going to be used for, even he might not approve. But Warp _wasn't_ going to win.

Starscream felt the need to humor him, as the outcome was already obvious. But that didn't mean the effort his wingmate used wouldn't be any less amusing. "Fine."

"And I choose the planet and the ending destination."

"And why would I allow that?" Starscream wanted to know.

"Because you want things interesting, remember?" Skywarp said with pronounced excitement, with an energy that was already bouncing up from his moving pediforms to the tips of his wings.

Not waiting for Starscream's approval, the planet changed again. It was dark, the red moon full and bright and casting long shadows along the long abandoned highway.

"Praytaff?" Definitely not one of his favorite places, as Warp well knew. The last time he'd been there things had gone wrong, to bad, to worse. The inhabitants destroying their own planet to protect their empress and her hoarded energy fortress. Not one of his better moments. Not one of his best 16 cycles for what Megatron did to him after in punishment for his failure.

Skywarp had no tact, too much guile, and he certainly had no problem rubbing it in, or using this information as what he saw as an advantage. Starscream hadn't been this proud of him in a long time. Warp jumped in the air and folded into his jet form, the program reactivated as enemies began to sprout around and above them. Skywarp messaged Starscream the coordinates, but not until _after_ he got a head start.

* * *

Starscream was an hour into the race when things started to distort. At first the Seeker thought he was seeing things, but he didn't _see_ things, his systems were far too sophisticated to make such processing errors. Landing, the drones immediately vanished, the weapons' fire ceasing as the air violently stilled.

She walked toward him. Her staff extended, her chin lifted sharply up as she kept her eyes on him. The female was dressed in all black, in a manner that he had idly pictured, sharp lines of red on the zipper and the linings of the pockets of her short bomber jacket. Her clothes were well-fitted and highly complimentary, exposing the femininity of her small body.

He took his optics off her for only a nano-click to visually confirm they were alone, but that was all it took for the deck's programming to kick in, taking him down to her size. The female twisted her staff and then bent it behind her right arm, running toward him with eager aggression.

She struck at him with such ferocity that sparks ignited between her staff and his sword. He was forced to take a step back. The Seeker pressed his sword forward against her staff, then used gained momentum to push her back and away.

"Enough of this," Starscream ordered. She didn't stand a chance. And it was a waste of his time, probably a distraction.

The female didn't listen. All thoughts of leaving vanished when the female came back at him using her staff and fist. He blocked. He evaded. But the female was quick, quicker than he ever accounted for. He'd seen her practice though, knew from where her fighting skills came. Starscream managed to catch her fist just short of making contact with his face, only for her to twist her hips, shift her weight and get him with a fierce kick to his chassis that she followed with a rapid volley of punches that were made easier for her by the protective enhanced gloves she wore.

When her staff came flying back at him, she managed to get his shoulder, then brush past the tip of his wing, her hand curling forward and down as she connected with his leg. The female was actually hurting him, pangs winding down the Seeker's leg and knotting his shoulder, her attacks becoming more coordinated the longer the female engaged.

She came at him again, her staff reconnecting with his sword. Starscream used all his weight, ready to break her little toy of a weapon in two. She narrowed her eyes and then smiled. That was when her staff parted in two. Her smile dropped when his sword did the same, easily deflecting her double-edged blows.

They continued.

She attacked. He defended himself. She came at him. He deflected. Their efforts got more physical, their methods requiring more and more contact. His pangs turned into aches, into a dull throbbing that really shouldn't have spiked whenever her foot or hand, or fist or even elbow managed to connect with his body in a tight backward thrust.

He'd hadn't been this _electrified_ since that time on The Pit when he came upon the female after she exited her cleaning cycle. She'd been all alone and vulnerable, her skin enticingly flushed, her scent purified, so preoccupied on sipping on that soup that he was given several free moments just to watch. So he cheated a little when his servo became a blade, when he trapped her against a transport vehicle only to rip down and then up, tearing the jacket off her body.

The female was already breathing heavy with exhaustion. But his action caused her eyes to spark, made her slap him hard. She wore a small shirt underneath that left her bottom belly exposed, a thin trickle of blood winding up past her stomach from where he had nicked her.

Her hair had long ago come loose, she had some bruises on her arms and legs, a righteous discoloration on her left shoulder. He couldn't help but think how she would act toward him if he were TC, a thought, with the transition that occurred immediately, that he should have considered much sooner. Yes, the sensory node of the training room was intuitive, highly responsive.

Her hand fell away, her posture changed into something entirely soft and provocative. Her fingers came toward his cockpit, tracing where her staff had left a deep indention. He shivered. His back became rigid, his already sensitive wings jerking upward and out with what she said next.

"Still want a _go_?"

But she wouldn't ask _that_.

"Have you always been this _heat_ inducing?" she wanted to know, as if her first words hadn't been uttered at all.

He didn't like that either. Truly, he didn't know what she'd say in this situation and as she cycled through suggestions and dirty talk that were inspired by his own processor that the program then used, Starscream started to think nothing coming out of her mouth, no matter what he thought he wanted her to say, was going to sound right.

"Are you as turned on as I am?" Simple. Direct. Human. It wasn't just the words this time, but the way that she said them that sounded right, and real and entirely like he could imagine.

He froze. He stared. He retracted his blade. He took an involuntary but much wanted step toward her. His hand went to the back of her neck, lightly tugging on her silken hair so that it wrapped between his fingers. Starscream breathed deeply. She smelled real, like he remembered, tainted with her humanity, with the musk of her sweat that did not cover her naturally evocative scent.

"I take that as a yes," she said with a humor that only served to incite.

He pushed her back against the vehicle, scrambled to climb above her. She reached for him. Starscream pushed her back, his tongue connecting with the thinly drawn line of cut flesh on her stomach that still lightly bled. She arched her back impressively, hissing loudly. The female's hand danced along his cockpit only to trace around. He moaned and cursed, his vision momentarily gone as her fingers dug in at just the right groove, swiping along a lower panel that vibrated her touch all the way through to his spark casing.

He pushed her hands away, wrapped her legs around the back of his body, positioned his cockpit just so, his energy leaking with the deep stirrings of his mainframe.

"Time for that later," was all he could manage to say, his vocals already straining against the buildup of pressure. Starscream didn't care if she was a simulation, nor that her energy signature did not match up with what he needed. She was underneath him and so willing, staring up at him like he imaged she would TC, those wide fixed eyes of hers a distraction until she decided to lick the bottom of her plump lip, her neck tilting momentarily backwards as he was given a better view of her delicate flesh. His intakes reversed as he hissed and spluttered at the sight, momentarily caught off guard by the thickening of his arousal.

She surprised him when she used her knee to nudge him closer. Her mouth kissed the back of his hand that she brought to her neck, a wicked gleam appearing in her emerald eyes that hinted of affectionate teasing. The Seeker staggered at the intimacy, pulling a little back so he could get a better view of the female. His thoughts were wild and wicked and yet suddenly filled with things that Starscream had never considered.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The Supreme Air Commander didn't stop, not even when the female beneath him tried to move her body away, embarrassed by the interruption.

"It'll be like sparking cement."

Starscream stared down at the femme who had suddenly become so still, who real or not, was a far too provocative morsel. He wouldn't stop until he was buried deep, until he proved to her what a waste of a tool Thundercracker was and how adaptive his body could be. Already, he knew of six methods of pleasure that he wanted to try on her that would surely test her limited view of what she considered _openness_.

The female really had no idea what she was in store for when she chose a Cybertronian as a lover. Humans may have been creative in their sexual escapades but they did not have, nor could they ever hope to obtain, the range that his own species was capable of, the power, the control, the fulfillment.

Starscream was loathe to admit how many times he had thought of her like this, how many times he had given in to his weakness of flesh that led to the echoes of her name from his mouthpiece as he experimented with just how quickening his own imagination and altered memories could be.

"Then I'll take her as her body wills." Already his hand was moving down her belly. His other hand gripping to her shoulder to make sure she stayed put. The real Alexis would have struggled, the real one wouldn't have given in so easily. But he really didn't give a slag, especially not when the female inhaled sharply, her eyes darkening with a desire that she tried to hide. He tilted her face back toward him, pressed closer, his hand dropping away from her shoulder, a digit swiping across and then past her lips. Starscream wanted her to bite him, and when she did, the sensation of quick, sharp pain almost deafened him to what his wingmate said next.

"She's not real, Screamer, and unless you want to figure that out in the _middle_ of things, for one bang of an awkward moment, I recommend you stop now."

He wouldn't. One way or another, he would mate her. But then the female disappeared below him, as did the vehicle, the world, as did their surroundings, everything returning to the original state of the empty training deck.

"Slag," Skywarp suddenly said, his vocals heavy and strained and coated with the familiar intonations of excitement. "Deactivate training session _now_."

The computer verbally confirmed Warp's command. The doors slid open.

The Supreme Seeker didn't know what his wingmate's problem was until the lust transmuted, until something occurred that never should have. He suddenly felt Thundercracker through their bond in a manner he hadn't since before Earth. TC's link grew and expanded past his ability to contain, broadcasting things that should not have been possible. And as it became more obvious what he had been doing before the link opened, what he _was_ still doing, to whom, and where his energy sharing was heading, as lingering impressions assaulted and jibed, as emotions stirred and images of the female surfaced, he knew with certainty what was going on. It was not unlike the bonding that occurred between the Trine, only this time he was a spectator, only privy to trickles of data that Thundercracker was unable to hold in. But he wasn't bonding to the female to improve tactics and increase their efficiency. He was taking her as a lover, as a mate. He was binding his spark to an outsider, creating a union that would never be broken, not by him, not by anyone.

He seethed. His processor stirring with overwhelming bitterness. And still, with mortifying distress, he greedily took in all that was offered and wanted more. Things got clouded, got strange, got exciting, and just when the emotions changed direction, as lust ignited and desire flared, as the impressions turned exotic and the needs turned tremulous, TC once more found the control needed to block them out.

But he couldn't completely.

Starscream knew when TC claimed the female. He felt it in his spark, felt in his servos, through every cable, every juncture, even his engines and turbines, through every parnec of his body and mainframe.

He was overwhelmed.

His excitement increased, and it was only his talons digging into his palm that kept him from responding and spilling over along with TC, then one of his blades thrust into his servo.

Sacrilege. Unnatural. Optic opening, unprecedented… _thrilling_.

Things lasted far longer than they should have. And when TC found his completion, Starscream was left physically agitated and aching for contact, visions of the female still burned beneath his optics.

 _Alexis_.


	20. Restoration

What TC did to Alexis was like being born over again for the third time, was like going halfway to heaven, eyes and mind open to things both wondrous and unbelievable, to terrors that surpassed what even mankind was capable of, was like dreaming half awake and aware, memories of Thundercracker a picture show of experiences, of a past, of a future, of _her_ , of things that hurt and burned and made her eyes fill with liquid.

Only to open her eyes, all that she saw and experienced becoming dim and far away, out of reach and nearly forgotten. Except, of course, the vision of those women, those encounters with femmes in such a number that if she hadn't known how near eternal Thundercracker was, she would have surly known then. And yet, despite the anger and the jealousy, there was also pity. Thundercracker never felt anything for any of them. Never reached out, never tried to find a connection. Besides his Trine, he had been alone and unaffected and unreachable, until her.

Alexis knew that TC loved her, she just didn't know exactly how much until he touched her, until he showed and described in a manner that surpassed the ability of words. What he felt toward her was, in a way, unrealistic, was more than just focus but obsession, was more than just a want, but a reverence that would surely lead to many disappointments in the future.

She wasn't someone to be worshiped, or to be held in such untainted regard. She definitely couldn't be this person that he saw, so pure and full of mercy, so… so _beautiful_.

No, that wasn't her. It couldn't possibly be.

Alexis felt deeply contended, wide-awake and energized and a little strange. But she realized, as she scooted away from TC, only to lean back against him, that not only were they married now, but something had happened between them that left her more aware of him in a manner that shouldn't have been humanly possible. But what they just did, humans weren't designed for.

Her skin hummed and vibrated, and when she concentrated, Alexis could feel whispers of TC's consciousness that were still focused on his passionate completion. The feel of his energy, the sensation of awareness, even abstract and now distant was extraordinarily bizarre and wondrous.

They had talked about this though. TC had told her that it would probably take a while for them to totally conform to one another, because of their mixed biologies, because, even though he didn't say it out loud, she was human.

While what they had just done had lead to a form of sex for him, for her, it was more spiritual, more a journey of mind then a rapture of body. Alexis was still watching him when he suddenly stirred, optics igniting with a burst of bright illumination before dimming upon her. He didn't say anything, not at first, just lightly stretched as he turned more over and above her, his large sleek digit connecting with her toes as he parted her legs. Alexis shivered. She hadn't been touched with such a purpose in a long while, and it left her with the feeling of drowning, of not being able to draw in enough air.

"Guide me, and I will pleasure you," he said to her, the timber of his raspy tone making her stomach clench and her mouth go dry. Visions of them already together rushed inside her mind in a heady rush.

She stopped the ascent of his digit that caressed with that now perceptible energy. Alexis motioned for him to come closer, then kissed his mouth slowly, in a lingering fashion that made little fireflies ignite inside her belly.

"As wonderful as that would be, I think I would just like to lie here with you."

He seemed confused, but didn't object. The Seeker managed to wrap his body tight around her, until he shifted to his side and dragged her closer to his cockpit. Alexis was still trying to wrap her mind over what had just happened, how quickly they had become bonded in this Cybertronian wedding ceremony, how blissful she felt, how beyond, and all without things turning physical. She wanted to linger in how she felt now for a while longer.

"I have something for you." He still sounded breathless, exhausted, excited and a little impatient, which really caught her attention.

Alexis tried to sit up but he pushed her back down, his digit brushing down her head, following her hair, down her chest and lingering on her belly before drifting back upwards, hovering near her hand. Her heart was pounding by them, echoing between her ears.

His hot digit retracted, folded backwards and exposed a small compartment and an even smaller object. He allowed her to sit up this time. Alexis took the small metal box. His digit reformed itself and was already lightly pressed against her cheek, then her arm.

The box had no visible opening, but that didn't stop her from trying to make it budge. Unless the small metal cube itself was the gift, which truly, would have been embarrassing.

"Like this." His finger momentarily fell away from her body; he made a grabbing motion with his hand.

She copied the motions with her hand, gripping to the small metal box. The sides immediately retracted, folding into a miniature platform, the gift exposed and resting in the middle.

Alexis gasped and stared.

It was a ring. But unlike any ring she had ever seen. The band was dark silver, the gem that rested on top glimmering softly, energy rippling off it when she touched it. Despite the dim lighting of the room, Alexis couldn't make out what color it was until she picked it up and brought it closer, the gem shifting along a blue color spectrum until it settled onto a soft blue, until once more it changed, this time into a deepened dark blue.

"It's… it's…" The words weren't coming, so she did the next best thing. She slipped the ring on her finger, watching TC as he focused on her action. The ring fit perfectly. The band came alive as metal tendrils wrapped up and around her finger like a vine, revealing Cybertronian graphics.

"What does it say?"

He didn't answer right away. His digit was back, now caressing her hand, then resting lightly against the ring, as if needing further proof that she had actually put it there. "It is not a word," he murmured softly, his words gaining in intensity when he caught her eyes with his optics, "but an ancient Cybertronian symbol that represents our union," he finally informed her, his voice now a warming hum.

"I've never seen anything like it."

"And no one ever will again. I designed it. I made it for _you_."

"You made it for me," Alexis repeated. She was in awe. Her heart fluttered. He had made such an intricate piece of jewelry for her, with an artistry that he had only shown her vague glimpses of. She stretched her hand up, taking a moment to look at the ring in the light of his optics before trailing her fingers along his nearby servo. He shivered, pulled back and then moved closer. He felt the energy of a pull between them as well, her feelings resounding in their touch.

"I want to touch you," Thundercracker suddenly said. He bent closer to her, already reaching out.

She smiled at that, curled closer against him. He was so large that no matter where he was, she was left in his shadow. "We are. And you just did, my mind, my…"

"I am aware that things were not the same for you as they were for me," he cut in, his words turned deep and resonated with desire and a glimmer of command that she felt roll down her body in a delightful little shiver. "But let me remedy that and I will make our sexual congress, and your fulfillment, something unrivaled."

Alexis didn't mean to, but she laughed. Thundercracker was always so serious, so focused. It wasn't that funny though, but she couldn't stop. It took his digit rubbing against her side, then dropping down her ring finger, before she stilled.

"I'm sorry," she told him. "I just…"

"Too much?"

"A little."

She didn't want to cause offense. But she wouldn't lie to him. His reaction though, was unexpected, and as he smiled, wide and free and all for her, Alexis couldn't help but feel her skin rouse and her heart rattle.

He was gorgeous. He made her hot, and breathless, made her envision things that with his size and hers, probably wasn't even possible, but, oh, she wanted to try.

Thundercracker stared at her, and she knew he was constantly scanning her, knowing things she probably didn't know about herself. That put her a little off, but didn't stop her from leaning into his touch, from letting him pick her up and bring her closer to his chassis.

"You know so much about me. More, now then ever." Alexis remembered living through remnants of her past, her experiences, her pains, her growths, all that he saw and felt. "And while I remember things about you, they are not things I _want_ to remember."

One of his digits wrapped through her hair, coiling it around and around. "Soon, you will know me, as I know you. And when that happens, you might not want to remember that either," he let her know, remnants of despair coating his otherwise controlled words.

She pulled away, and sat back up as she caught his optics. "What if it continues to fade, what if our connection, however ardent, does not take?"

He seemed perplexed at her words. They were going to have a lot to talk about, for a very long time.

"I am already inside you, Alexis. As you are me. And you not knowing me, may be partly my fault, as I was entirely focused on you." He bent his digit closer to her body, so close, she felt his pulsating heat, felt the draw of his energy that made her want to close her eyes and press closer. She did. "We will have plenty more opportunities to get to know each other. With time, I feel, will bring more intimate unity."

If she were a Cybertronian, they would already be talking without the need for speech, communicating on a level both intimate and open. She'd seen how TC had talked to Starscream without actually talking, had seen their closeness despite their adversarial natures.

"How much did you see of me, exactly?"

"Not all." He frowned. "Not all I wanted," he elaborated.

"Enough to bore you?" That thought she didn't like. That trail of a thought she didn't mean to say out loud. But the passion, the tension between them, it would fade, as seemed inevitable. Not that she ever had the opportunity to find out, not that she was capable of believing that. But she had seen it happen, with so many others. She did not want it to happen with them. And yet she knew, deep down, it was not passion that brought them together, but something more binding.

"You, Alexis, will never be a form of stagnation for me. And I vow that I will do whatever it takes so that how you feel for me will not be a waste."

She didn't really know what he saw when they bonded, only had fragments, but he obviously gleamed more than just bits of her life… much more. And unlike her, he seemed capable of remembering more than snippets. Alexis suddenly felt exposed, a little troubled, despite how he had explained it to her Alexis had at least hoped to retain the knowledge of what they had shared, not just an overall impression of how incredibly astonishing it felt.

"And _how_ do I feel about you?" she found herself asking.

He rubbed his finger down her arm, his mouth bending a fragment upward with some form of understanding. "More than you're willing to understand. But nothing that I will not get you to acknowledge," he said, his words cryptic, and a challenge, almost teasing.

* * *

They talked until it was time for her son to get up. Not that they talked the _whole_ time, he did allow her a couple hours of sleep, as he recharged beside her. She watched him for some time before she was able to sleep, not familiar with how he looked prone, and still, so harmonious.

Thundercracker walked Alexis to her son's room, then left.

Aaron, her little perceptive genius, knew immediately.

"You smell like metal, like Cybertronians… like him." He took her hand and looked at the ring. "You are married?"

She nodded her head. He stared for a couple more moments at the ring, seemed to consider something extremely important. "Can we have pancakes for breakfast this morning?"

* * *

The days she spent with Aaron. Her son still needed to be schooled and taught, which wasn't so easy a task as she thought. Sometimes, they learned together. His great-grandfather had already offered to come stay with them and help in Aaron's schooling again, and it was starting to sound like an offer she would take up on. Sharaih would be coming to visit soon, she would have her bring Methaih with her.

The nights she spent with TC. Not that she didn't see Thundercracker during the day, he was still adjusting to her son, and she could tell he was trying to determine how to approach Aaron.

"He already likes you," she told TC. "Just spend time with him, unless…"

"He is a part of you, and prefers you. I do not want to overstate my presence."

"You're good with him, TC. You have nothing to worry about."

"And you really want this, me _knowing_ your son?" he asked of her, genuinely confounded at the idea that she would.

"Yes."

"Then consider it done."

They were in his quarters. They were sparse, near empty, almost cold and methodical, if not for a large bookcase that held more personal objects. He had explained what they were, the ones she asked about, although he seemed a little distracted ever since her arrival, and now seemed unable to fully concentrate on his crew's daily report that he was browsing through at his workstation.

Alexis was on his spacious berth waiting for him to finish. She was having a difficult time concentrating as well. They'd only been bonded for two days, but it would take longer for her to get used to things, to him, to his room, to sleeping away from her son. Coral had snuck into his room a good hour ago. The cat was stretched out on Alexis' belly, purring with content as Alexis continued to pet her, her eyes unable to leave Thundercracker's backpanel, the expanse of those glorious wings, the intricacy of his Cybertronian body.

TC suddenly turned his monitor off, and managed to have the cat off her and tossed outside his quarters quicker than it took for her to notice the delightful rush of air that followed.

He sat down on his berth, his optics took her in as he hovered so far above. Alexis' eyes wandered down his beautiful wings that were now folded behind his back. Thundercracker clenched his hands, his body became even more rigid than before when she got up and moved closer, settling on his open palm.

TC didn't miss a beat as he brought his finger closer, allowing her to press against him, her mouth brushing alongside the warm metal before he began to touch her, exploring gently. "If I continue like this, I may damage my subsystems with this strain that has been upon me since you accepted my spark."

That affected voice of his, it was truly delicious, made her wrap her legs tightly around his wandering digit, allowing her to momentarily trap those escaping tremors of his energy.

"The first or second time?"

The second time had been brief, but equally as intense, a moment the two had when Aaron went off to play and train with Terra, something she was sure TC had arranged.

"Soon you won't be able to keep count."

"Soon, maybe, you'll let me get some decent sleep," she teased.

"Not tonight. Not anytime soon."

He meant it.

* * *

With him, she didn't miss Refuge or Renth, didn't dwell in the past, or worry about the future, with him, she felt safe and part of something that she hadn't in a long while, something personal and familiar.

She loved him. This wasn't a surprise though but a profound understanding.

And it wasn't because of the fragments of intimate insight she was afforded every time he sparked her. She loved him because of his persistence, because of his intensity, because he was more honorable than he was willing to give himself credit for, because he did things both good and righteous that even though he doubted, and didn't fully understand, proved what sort of person he really was. She loved him because of the way he looked at her like no other, and how he was teaching her not to mind. She loved him because he was different, because he made her see a potential in her self that she had long put to the side to make room for her son's own aspirations.

She'd loved him as Timothy. She loved him as TC. And being with him, bonding to Thundercracker and marrying him wasn't a conclusion, but perhaps, as she looked back at it, an obvious outcome.

Thundercracker surprised her, he shocked her, he kept her on a state of awareness that could make her head buzz and her insides squirm. And when he spent time with Aaron, not because he had to, but because he _wanted_ to, she loved him all the more. Her love for him wasn't new, but it was growing, and changing and opening her eyes to this life with him that once she had been foolish enough to believe wasn't possible.

* * *

She knew they were traveling to somewhere, but when Thundercracker took her and Aaron to the observation deck and opened the blast doors, the planet she was expecting to see wasn't supposed to be so bright and blue, so clean. So familiar.

 _Earth._

She didn't understand, but her eyes weren't deceiving her. It was healthy and whole, was healed.

"Shall I take you down?" She heard echos of Thundercracker's question from somewhere so far away.

It was just a planet. But it was _her_ planet. Alexis felt a sense of restoration, a burst of elation, the idea of coming home something that she could barely fathom, her mouth opening with so many questions that she was afraid they'd never stop.

"It's real?" she finally managed to inquire. She felt as if the entire deck was spinning around her, and it didn't stop until she felt Aaron grab hold of her hand.

Alexis took a step closer, leaned against the transparent shield to get a closer look at the vibrant blue orb below.

"Yes. I will show you," TC told her, his warm voice closer than before, now above and behind her. "I will answer your questions. But first, let me take you home."

She nodded her head, still unable to look away from the planet.

"Yes. I'd like that."


	21. Lessons

Alexis was going to be the death of him.

Now that Thundercracker had bonded to Alexis, now that she was his life mate, nothing would ever be able to separate or diminish the link between them. Only in death would they part, and even then, her death would mean the end of his life. A reason why many Decepticons did not take mates, or create such bonds as he had with the female.

And while her being exposed to his spark would prolong the human's short life, it would not allow them to escape the inevitable. But any time he had with Alexis, no matter how short, would be worth any unthinkable consequence.

They'd been on Earth for a few short hours. TC was unsure how Alexis felt about being back on her homeplanet. While he could get emotional impressions from the female, he could not read her unless he sparked her. Not that that was the reason he needed his energy to touch the female. But seeing inside her was unlike anything he expected or prepared for, each time different and new and illuminating, whether because of her emotional capacity, or the way she saw and experienced things, everything always leading to a pleasurable conclusion that left him burning for hours afterward.

Alexis didn't feel what he felt. But she was as addicted as he. And he knew it was only a matter of time until their connection broadened and deepened, allowing them to establish an unfettered unity that would transcend how the female saw and experienced and felt him when he sparked her, and allow her to retain more of what had occurred after.

He wanted her mind open to his. Wanted her to be able to sync with him. He wasn't disappointed in the difficulties between then, but perplexed. But she wasn't Cybertronian, and perhaps didn't even have the possibility to retain or perceive all that he was and had done in that human mind of hers.

Or maybe she didn't want to. Perhaps though, none of that mattered. For what he had with her now, already surpassed all that he had expected, and continued to every day. The Seeker didn't need things between them as if they were both Cybertronians. And while it was natural for him to desire such an outcome, it was no longer his goal.

A week and two days had passed since he bonded to Alexis, since she started sharing his room, since her life became more of his, and his became part of hers. He'd watched her sleep on many occasions, when he _allowed_ her to sleep, had watched her wake more times than that. They'd touched, they'd nestled together and wrapped around, they'd talked and even began to speak of their future together.

It was still so very surreal. A part of TC was petrified of the idea that he was dreaming, or that he was stuck inside a shifter, everything just a fabricated representation of his deepest desires, of his needs.

Taking her to Earth though, had been a plan he had set in motion long before they worked together to end The Line, long before he left her on Refuge to leave for the Frintaw sector. A necessary trip he had to take in order to obtain the last components for his plan. What he did was dangerous, even suicidal. One did not go against Megatron, covertly or otherwise.

But that did not deter him. For he'd been determined to restore her planet. But the Seeker couldn't just restore her planet, not with the repercussions that would follow when Megatron got word. He had to protect it, guard it, make sure that no one ever did to it, what _they_ had so easily done.

TC didn't do it for the humans though, didn't even do it for himself.

He did it for Alexis.

* * *

Thundercracker was restless. Inconveniently so. The kind of restless that needed the female beside him, talking to him, touching him, just near him. After traveling over Earth for a couple of hours, he had finally taken them back to Alexis' old home, a dwelling that he had made sure remained intact and unaffected, encased inside a preservation field.

They'd walked through her old home, then sat on the couch as Alexis told her son some stories, that not lasting long as the youngling showed signs of drainage. Alexis took Aaron to her old room and then managed to fall asleep with him.

Thundercracker wasn't angry. Not really. But sitting inside her house, alone and disregarded had allowed the restlessness to overtake him. Shutting off his optics, he allowed memories to play back that soothed and distracted and enticed. Memories that were leading to something all together different that made his compressed body twinge and his spark chamber hotly pulse.

Hands landed on his kneeplates.

His optics came back online. He found Alexis on her knees in front of him. She didn't say anything, just picked herself up as she positioned herself on his lap, her body moving against his as she curled as close to him as she could with his cockpit pressing between them.

He no longer needed a compression chamber to obtain the size he now was, thanks to Skywarp, as he had provided the schematics necessary to build a proto-compressor module that activated custom nanites that did the process smoothly and effectively.

The device was necessary if he wanted to be able to go wherever the small human went. And while he could have just as easily activated his holo-form, there was something about the way Alexis looked at him when he remained as he was, with scrutiny and desire and admiration, that he knew was going to lead to something physically involved, with flesh and metal and pressing and pushing and intimate discoveries of how different they were.

Alexis dragged herself away. Her hair was disheveled, her cheeks infused with color. She leaned back toward him, her mouth meeting his. They'd never kissed like this before. Not with her fleshy mouth pressed against his solid mouthpiece, his mouth opening to hers as tongue and glossa met for the first time. Her hands strayed behind his neckpiece, and as he reached around her and squeezed her closer, her fingers gripped the tops of his rising wings.

His entire body trembled. The Seeker parted from her, intakes at maximum. Liquid coolant tried to make up for the sudden burst of heat, making his body lightly convulse with desire, his systems going haywire until he compensated, sensation returning to his servos that quickly ensconced itself into a fire that ignited his spark and made his optics burn.

He'd always known that humans were highly sexual creatures. Led by their lust and controlled by their appetites. Yet TC once feared that his own passions for Alexis would frighten the female, or be more than she could understand. That was before he'd seen inside her, tasted her desire and seen the imagery of her half-realized fantasies that ended with meshed metal and flesh and the unknown, the echoes of her raw hunger an illumination of her willingness for him, no matter how he offered himself to her.

She was a wonder. And she was _his_.

"You're sensitive on your wings," Alexis observed. She was biting on her tongue, her hands still splayed behind his neckpiece, fingers dragging languidly down his backpanel as she watched him. She was far too careful, far too _easy_ on him, and still TC was desperate for her touch, for those emerald eyes that glowed upon him with undeniable attention.

He could only nod his head and creep closer to her, his hand bunching along her side, twisting in her shirt until he tugged her forward, making her fall partially on her knees, her hand falling on his upper thighplate. Alexis' fingers gently moved as they traced a path along his body, until they stilled. Thundercracker knew what she wanted. The human's curiosity was insatiable. The Seeker's need to satisfy her an unparalleled inclination of half desperation that left him pining and so slagging wired that anything she asked he would have performed.

Her fingers moved farther down, stilling again along a specialized groove.

"Leads to my fuselage," he told her, the raspy tone of his voice making her pause momentarily as she gulped hard.

Her fingers continued to travel for several long minutes as he instructed her on his parts and components. Until he took her fingers in his hand, leading her to where there was the most sensory input.

He shivered all over again, nearly lost control when she came back to his wings. TC twisted around and she came closer, pressing along and under his tucked ailerons and flaperons, brushing over his folded stabilizers. While his wings weren't his most sensitive component, they certainly felt that way with the heat of her fingers splaying along every juncture, the pressure of the pleasure making him say things to the female. TC wanted her to grip tighter, to spread her fingers apart and to…

His subsystems momentarily crashed when her mouth made contact with the tip of his right wing, when she bit down, her moist tongue swiping down hard as she tested and tasted him. By then he was gripping to the couch's armrest, the female's tactile lesson on his frame not ending as he continued to inform her of where her hands were. Alexis would repeat what he said, his words echoing back at him with awe, with tangible desire.

Thundercracker turned back around to face her, took the female's hand in his own and above her head, and pressed her into the couch. He took her left hand and firmly placed it against his hipjoint.

"Continue," he rasped the soft command.

Alexis looked up at him for a moment, intentions unclear, then seemed to come to a decision that made her flush and her heart race even quicker. Her hand pressed along his chassis, going down, and down… and down.

"My interface cable does not reside here."

Her face turned scarlet. Alexis quickly pulled her hand back, trying to cover her face. She should have seen this when he sparked her, should have known. And yet he had to keep reminding himself that even if she saw, she didn't always remember. And the things she did remember, usually were items that he would have rather she did not.

Alexis dropped her hand, the warmth going with it. She looked up at him all bashful and embarrassed and innocent, and so terribly beguiling.

"Inside my sparkchamber," he gently informed her, truly trying not to become even more roused. Hoping what he revealed to her didn't upset or repel.

Alexis' mouth fell open, color painted her cheeks as her mind went through the implications of such placement. But she didn't look disgusted, only intrigued, which left him so dreadfully encouraged that instead of burying the hope away, Thundercracker drenched himself inside it like a hunter who had just made his first glorious kill.

"I have been formatted to your size. However, I am aware that," he paused for a moment, looked at her, then away, still a little unsure, still not wanting to see or feel any signs of disfavor due to their vast physical dichotomies. All he felt was the female's interest, her focus, her eyes drifting back to his spark chamber as she involuntarily stared. "That we are different, and that you may not… _relish_ these differences. If you show me what you need, I can compensate, or even create what is necessary in order to…"

Suddenly Alexis got to her feet. She quickly ran her fingers through her hair. She stood, warbling a little in front of the sofa. His hand followed her own.

Aaron entered the living room. He rubbed his eyes, yawned loudly. "Mom, I'm hungry." The youngling's sharp eyes washed over Alexis and TC, his focus remaining on Thundercracker until Alexis went to him.

Alexis led him back to her room with a bowl of collected fruit and a water bottle. She didn't return for a good five minutes, long enough though for his intakes to settle into normal parameters, the air turning bitter without her.

When Alexis returned, she had sneakers on, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, a light jacket on.

"Let's go outside."

Alexis stared at her wrist. Her coolant band acted as many things, including a monitoring device of her son, making sure he was safe when she was not near him. Alexis took his hand, led him outside onto the porch.

They both sat down, each in their own chair. He frowned; he did not like such an arrangement.

Alexis scooted her chair closer to his own. "I just realized that I never thanked you. I mean for this. I mean, you _did_ do this, didn't you?" Her hands motioned toward the ground. She stared at a patch of bright purple irises that almost glowed under the porch light.

"Yes."

" _Why_?" the female questioned, the one word breathless as if needing to know was a physical strain.

His answer was an obvious one, one that she had to be aware of. "Because what happened to your planet, I should not have allowed in the first place."

"But what does Earth matter to you?"

"It doesn't," TC told her frankly. He frowned but did not flinch under her curious stare. "But it does, to y _ou."_

There was a bout of silence after that. He felt a wave of emotion pour out of the female, nothing that he could pinpoint.

"I've never had someone restore a planet for me before," she suddenly said, her words articulated and filled with emotion. "I really don't know what to say to that."

"I didn't do it for your gratitude."

"That figures." Her mouth curled up, her tone suddenly light and playful.

"Nor to win your regard."

"Okay." She gave him an amused look.

"But if you want to live here... with me, with your son, I will make sure it is safe this time. I will build us a place to reside, away from prejudice, from preconceived ideas, where you and Aaron will thrive."

Her hand rested on his own before their fingers tangled together. "Then you definitely didn't have the idea of us living on this planet all alone."

"I know you would not prefer it that way. And while I would give this planet to you as a gift, I know it is one you need to share."

"What of Megatron?"

He motioned toward her. He needed her closer. Alexis got up and sat down on the porch in front of his legs, the back of her head leaning against his knees. He took her hair out of its restraint, then thickly wrapped the follicles around his digits. He took a deep breath of the female, his exhale turning shaky when she gripped to one of his legs.

No matter how many times Thundercracker sparked the female, he still trembled at her touch. Physically, they were still new and unfamiliar with one another. She shared his quarters, his berth, it was only a matter of time before they shared even more, the startling strain of tension between them going to give and soon. He was starting to feel guilty at his own pleasure, no matter what she told him. And he couldn't go many more nights of her stretched out on his berth without doing _something._ If he didn't have the ability to spark her, they would have already been tangled together. If her son wasn't there, they wouldn't have had to create boundaries. They wanted each other. _She_ wanted him. And knowing that, _feeling_ that, allowed him to neglect the always present inclination toward combined physical resolve.

He took a deep breath of air, ignored the rattling in his spark chamber, and the intimacy of her nearness. Alexis was still becoming familiar with him and what they had done, unaccustomed to having a lover.

TC told her what he had done, and about how he did it. Told her about the defensive orbital platforms, about what he had prepared for and what she would be responsible for.

She listened in enamored silence.

He almost forgot what he was talking about... _twice_.

* * *

They went for a walk after, traveling around the house only to end up in the backyard shed that was half the size of the home. There was a lot of junk in the enclosure, many tools and yard supplies, lots of marked boxes and an empty area in the corner that had small faded drawings and old posters of movies and strangely attired men, a couple of games, and a small cot that had a blanket on it with green turtles, and strange words outlined in pink.

She hung the small lantern on a nearby nail on the wall. "I had a thing for the teenage mutant ninja turtles when I was a kid," she explained as if that made anything clearer.

"Teenage _what_?"

"Turtles… _Ninja_ turtles." She made a little face. "As in, man did I want to learn ninjutsu, karate, _anything_. So what did my parents do? Put me in ballet class." She chuckled at that.

Alexis sat down on the small cot, obviously waiting for him to join her. He had to tightly fold his wings to make it into the narrow corner. The Seeker sat on the cot, it creaked under his weight, but managed not to break.

She looked around the small area. "I used to play here as a kid. Even spent the night sometimes during the summer, but it could get really hot," Alexis felt the need to tell him. She put her hand around his own. "I always felt safe here for some reason, protected, as if no matter what happened to me out _there_ , nothing could touch me in here. I guess it was my own fortress of solitude."

"But it's a _storage compartment_."

She laughed at that, gave him an odd look, and then suddenly turned his head more toward hers and kissed him quickly, softly, pulling away before he could react. Alexis took her jacket off, put it on the corner of the cot. She removed her shoes, her socks, then laid down on the slim cot, her knees bent up, her body bent on the side.

"I know we are different, TC," Alexis suddenly brought up again. Her palm lightly pressed against his backpanel. He leaned into her touch, then carefully began to turn to better see her. The Seeker didn't have much room, and with his stature the motion was awkward and fruitless. He had to settle for angling his head. Her hand returned, this time wrapping around his left forearm. He stared at where her hand rested, marveling at the pale skin and the gentle tempo of her life pulse that echoed against his flesh. "At least physically. This doesn't bother me, at all. But do I," she frowned, eyes mixing with sadness, "that is, do I make you uncomfortable?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know, I just seem to be stuck with that impression."

"The things I want to do to you are unfamiliar, and I suppose do create a sense of bewilderment in regards to what it entails. But that doesn't mean I don't want you anyway."

"Do I disappoint you?" she wanted to know, trying to hide the pained expression that traced across her face. "I mean you said when Cybertronians bond that they become telepathically linked, know each other inside and out and, while I feel _different_ when I am with you, while you feel different when you are with me, I don't know what you are thinking at all."

" _I_ feel _different_?"

"Don't you know that... I mean how I feel, when I am with you?"

"Not entirely. Just because I can see inside you when we spark, does not mean I see _everything_."

"Oh."

Alexis reached toward him, tried to get him to maneuver closer from where he sat perched on the edge of the cot, but there was still no room. She stood up in front of him instead, brought his hands up and placed her flat palms against his own.

She closed her eyes. Sighed with contentment.

"You feel this, right?"

"Your energy?"

Alexis opened her eyes. She smiled and nodded her head.

"Yes, _energy,_ " she said with unmistakable awe. "It's…"

" _Arousing_."

" _Indescribable_."

They both said at the same time, their words echoing through each other.

"While I felt something sometimes when you were near me, nothing like this." Her fingers wrapped between his own. She stepped closer, her voice lowering. "It vibrates through my skin, makes me aware of you on a level that, well, is probably not normal." Alexis seemed to light up. Her words sped out of her mouth, like they always did when she was excited about something. "And I _do_ hear you, get impressions from you when we touch, I mean regular touch, not," she blushed, "when you…"

"Spark you?"

"Yeah, that." She grinned at him, the potent expression making him feel restless all over again; his digits twitched tighter around her fingers, suddenly feeling possessive.

He looked up at her. "And what do you get impressions of?"

She took a moment. Green eyes held ruby optics. She sighed with deep contentment. "How you feel, what you want. There is a lot going on below the rigid surface that you show the world."

" _Rigid_?" He repeated with offense, a heaviness settling on his flesh. He knew what he was, but for Alexis to think so...

"Stern?" she tried again, this time smiling cheekily, masterfully mollifying his transient stress. "Stolid?" she tried one more time.

He tugged on her arm and brought her to him. He flattened his hand against her hip, his fingers dipping under her shirt.

"Should I show you how _solid_ I can be?"

Alexis gave him a look that showed she didn't find his sudden attempt at humor very funny, or that she'd heard it before. "I said stolid…" Her words crashed when he rubbed against her skin, moved his hand behind her lower back as he breathed her in, his nose pressing against her clothed belly.

"My turn," he commanded. Thundercracker was quite ready for his own lessons. She paused for a moment, looked around her and listened intently, as if they would be interrupted any moment. He then watched as Alexis unbuttoned her shirt, revealing a low tank top, and an area of lightly damaged flesh near her shoulder that remained from many years past.

His fingers lightly grazed along the marred flesh, a testament to her ability to survive. He continued to explore the female. All her curves, her shapes, her old scars, worshiping her with his touch as he began to learn her, finding out that while the cot was small, the wall beside it supported them both well enough.

And when the lesson happened to evolve and escalate, when fingers got exchanged for hands, when soft sighs turned to breathy moans, when mouths impacted and skin pressed, it wasn't just the Seeker learning her, but them learning one other in a training exercise especially formulated for beginning human partners.

He never expected them to have an extended "make out" session inside a cramped, awkwardly sized storage shed behind her childhood home on the planet Earth. "Making out" was yet another ridiculous _,_ perplexing human phrase, one that he quickly forgot the absurdity of when Alexis took his face in both her hands and _snogged_ him into a mindless puddle of pulsating Seeker.


	22. Predicament

Starscream felt like he was in heat.

But despite rumors to the contrary, Seekers had never gone into a frenzy with the need to mate. A rumor, Starscream was sure, that had sprung up to try to cause embarrassment for those that were as _enhanced_ as he. It took far too many megacycles to dispel that vicious rumor, as he, and others like him were pursued with the idea that despite that they were mechs, they were capable of bringing sparklings to term, or provide cycle upon cycle of delirious rapturous pleasure.

As if he needed to go into heat in order to be capable of overwhelming his partner. Something he found out quite quickly enough, really wasn't something to be idly prattled about when being hounded by femmes, mechs, Cons and even Bots.

But he'd been burning for over a week now. Darker than arousal, deeper than when tragedy hit one of his trinemates, a conundrum of feeling and sensation that warped his mainframe and left him in his quarters alone, miserable, and _itching_ all over. Unable to regenerate, because slag, that was even worse, and embarrassing at the state he would wake with, shaking and clutching for someone who wasn't there, his spark pounding brutally underneath his chamber.

And if that wasn't bad enough, he was suddenly _sensitive_ to touch, others, his own, hyper-aware of where his body lingered, his own digits creating its own wave of pleasure as he thought of her, of softness and skin and wandering hands, of that female's scent that no matter how many sonic showers he took, for his own sanity, he could not get rid of.

It took that week before he could come to some sort of coherency, the aftershocks and continual pursuit of his wingmate toward the female, leaving him paralyzed and dizzy, and hot.

Given a moment of clarity, the Seeker knew what he needed.

The answer was quite obvious.

* * *

"Is TC with you?" Alexis came toward him, a youngling trailing after. His subsystems activated, the hum of his flesh stirring with that heat that made him frazzled and highly focused.

It took too much effort to be given clearance to come onboard TC's ship, and with the female waiting for him in the landing bay, arms crossed, eyes fixed, mouth set, he would have known something was wrong, if he hadn't been so slaggin' _excited_.

He opened his mouth, shut it again. The Supreme Air Commander was flabbergasted, and working on embarrassed as he found his ability to speak hindered by the searing focus of her gaze. Her mouth was still moving, asking him something else, something that he didn't hear at all.

His spark was thumping, his digits curled tightly into fists, his wings went ramrod straight, broadcasting his emotional turbulence that made his flesh radiate with intent.

Perhaps Seekers _could_ go into heat.

Because slag, he felt like he was burning. From the inside out, from his pediforms to the tips of his wings. The heat was destructive and distracting and debilitating. Starscream took a necessary step toward the female, eager to be inside her space. Alexis took three large steps back, and made the boy leave the room. He found himself flanked by three of TC's soldiers, spiked electrified rods pointed at his cockpit.

" _Where_ is TC?"

She glared at him, her mouth trembled, her eyes narrowed, and she sniffled, her visuals leaking. Alexis motioned for the guards to fall back. They did, barely.

He watched as she inhaled a long breath, held it, then released it, her curved chest slowly rising and falling. A flush of heat washed through his circuits and cables, adding to the thick desire that had only increased upon the sight of the female. Starscream shouldn't have denied himself. Now, thanks to TC, there could be none of that, all he felt for the female was forced to the forefront, exposing things that left him totally clueless of his self, of his own intent, of the need that clawed deep within his spark chamber, rattling his core.

"Is he gone?"

"For two days now."

"Since?"

She gave him a long focused stare, seemed to internally debate on whether or not to tell him. "Earth."

"Earth?" He was having a hard time wrapping around anything she had already said, his concentration so far gone on other things that Starscream was surprised that he was able to assemble even _that_ question.

She explained a little, told him of where they had been, and that TC had gotten an emergency call from Skywarp.

"He never returned, hasn't contacted me. And I can't get a hold of him and haven't been able to locate him," Alexis told the Seeker, her narrowed eyes lingering on the Seeker as she gulped hard, as if she was suddenly aware of whom she was conversing with. Her flesh turned white.

"Earth?" he repeated, not feeling the sense of panic as the female was. He was quite glad of their separation.

"Yes, Earth, as I already said," she told him with a delightful little snarl. The female was indisposed and distressed. Alexis crossed her arms across her chest. "You didn't know of TC, did you? Or of Skywarp? What are you doing here then? Were you sent here because of Earth? Because you'll find it not so easy to destroy as last time," she told him with heavy animosity, with what could have been a threat.

A smile stretched across his face, one that had her guards bringing their weapons up again, waiting for a command from their mistress. He saw her youngling peeking into the room, all sharp ears and lanky form, his hand holding onto the collar of Thundercracker's mutt who was growling lowly, unwavering brown eyes pinned on the Seeker. That hound never did like him.

TC being away from the femme would explain the momentary respite he had given. For no matter what he tried, technique, meditation, bad habit, or sexual indulgence, the Seeker couldn't quite tune out when his wingmate sparked the female. But for Thundercracker to leave her, so soon after his claiming, was dangerous, was fraggin' strange, was cruel. Starscream would had let anyone, even Warp, burn in the deepest chasms of The Pit before he left the side of his recently bonded. TC was acting contrary for someone so beset with sentiment.

"Take me to Earth," Starscream ordered the female. "If you want to find TC."

The female's face turned hard, her eyes narrowed. "Earth? Why Earth? And seriously? Just like that!? As if I'd let you on the planet. Let's not forget what you did to it last time. Why should I trust you?"

"I didn't _ask_ you to trust me," he replied sharply. "But I _can_ lead you to him."

She dropped her arms off her chest, turned around and grabbed some things off the table. Saying some words to her son, the female made her way back toward Starscream, making her way through the guards that were forced to draw back at her command.

TC had already given her power of his own squadron. And slag, watching the small human take control and prepare for her departure left him exhilarated, made him crave things both inappropriate and inspiring. Trembling inwardly, the Supreme Air Commander took several large steps back and folded down into jet form, ramp lowered so the tiny female could join him.

* * *

Letting her ride with him to the planet really wasn't the best of his ideas. Not when he was having a time controlling his energy emissions, the female's own signature bright and heavy, rubbing against and through him, leaving him struggling to perform the most basic of tasks. Alexis felt like TC, but most certainly _not_ TC, her human bio signs synchronized and fixed and familiar, yet so…

"Why is it so hot in here?" Alexis pulled on the collar of her shirt, affording him a tiny view of the flesh below. The female was tense, and her tone was stiff, her brilliant eyes heavy with suspicion and doubt. Embarrassingly, his turbines sputtered as his subsystems worked toward an overload that would soon be out of his control.

He was so slaggin' _alive_. In a manner that he had not experienced without the aid of accelerants or stimulants.

Because of TC. Because of the female.

Because of the insistent manner in which her body nudged against his own that he could not combat against.

"As if you don't know," he spat out with bitterness, with a twinge of resentment that made him want to stop and do whatever he wanted to the female. But Alexis was distressed, and slag was he hindered, by something nameless, something vulgar and useless and unknown. Something that made him want to squirm, and pull away and give her space. It left a bad taste beneath his glossa, a powerlessness that had him struggling for something that made more sense.

The female flushed with insight, her tiny body folding in on itself as she tried to touch him as little as possible.

He laughed at that, chuckling thickly.

She kicked his panel _hard_.

* * *

Whatever had occurred to TC occurred off planet. There were no signs of a struggle, just a diminishing trail that led away from Earth. The female didn't seem to be surprised that he believed Sunstreaker might have been involved in TC's disappearance. She was more confused that it most certainly wasn't Skywarp that had summoned Thundercracker, as he proved by contacting his wingmate and showing her.

"You won't find him without me," Starscream felt the need to inform her, his processor still heady. He was determined to stay.

"Then he _is_ still alive," she said in a tiny little voice that revealed far too much.

"Obviously, or I would have felt otherwise." While he knew TC was alive, he couldn't pinpoint much else. And he hadn't wanted to. But now that he tried to, he found that Thundercracker was blocking him, a strain of hostility tangible.

Alexis was dreadfully relieved at what he said. For a moment, Starscream was sure she was going to faint. A sight he did not want to witness, not because of TC, not because of how she felt for him. He inwardly groused.

She kept her attention on the space outside his cabin, her eyes focused on the dark nothingness. Her hands were tangled together, and he couldn't help but feel the tensity in her body that she tried to hide. "Rivet will be here in a few days and Aaron's aunt is coming soon and will be able to watch him, so…"

"It'll be too late. We can find him _now_." He ignored the sharp tingle that went down his backpanel at the utterance of _we_. She was just a female. An _ordinary_ human. One he wanted to spend an exorbitant amount of time with, preferably away from TC's ship.

Her gaze lifted at that comment, she frowned heavily. "You don't really expect me to go with you, do you?"

"Do you want to see TC again or not?"

"What sort of a stupid question is that?" she replied tightly, that permanent glare of hers growing in volume. Alexis jumped out of his cockpit as soon as he landed, not even waiting for his ramp to extend. She went to the table in the back of the landing bay, sat down with a huff. The human was angry and obviously overwhelmed, her mouth twitching as she wiped her eyes off with her arm.

He curled out of his jet form, walked toward her, ready to argue further.

"You went to The Pit with me to find your parents. You will go with me now to find Thundercracker. There is no point arguing." He stopped in front of her, making her gaze lift high. He smiled tightly. "Or you can stay here, sulk and groan, expel useless liquid from your oculars. I will find him on my own, _faster_ , I am sure, without you."

"If Sunstreaker is involved, what could he want with TC? Why didn't he…"

"Take you?" The Seeker finished, somehow realizing where her words were leading. Starscream scoffed with deprecation, with an internal thrill that made his lips curl. "Why would he want _you_?"

"He is b…" She choked on her words, unable to finish, more distressed than ever.

"What?" he demanded for her to finish.

Alexis shook her head, unwilling to continue. The silence stretched and grew, as she considered what, he didn't know.

Thundercracker knew whatever it was. And that thought made him restless and unsure, made him take a couple of steps back to give himself suddenly needed room to think.

But he kept his optics trained on the female, unable to look away. Even with her obvious strain, she was… lovely, and small, would have fit nicely inside his hand, on the sensitive groove between shoulder panel and wing-inseam.

Now that he was with her again, the heat had not faded but changed into a new disturbance, a vibration that keened through his body, making him feel constricted and out of sorts, making him feel glorious.

She caught him staring at her, held his gaze as a bizarre bought of nervousness caused him to hiss, embarrassment following as he actually shuffled awkwardly on his peds.

Her glare softened, some of the tensity evaporating from her body.

"Are you okay?" she actually asked.

With that question he became even more flustered.

* * *

While the female finally agreed to come along after a prolonged discussion, followed by questions and guarantees and slag, even compromises, she also brought her youngling and the slagging mutt with her.

Yes, he should have left her behind. But that wasn't what he wanted.

When Skywarp picked them up in a shuttle, the introductions between the female and his wingmate were short and to the point. Starscream personally saw to that. Warp _was_ supposed to clear out space in the cargo hold for Alexis before coming to get him, but per usual, he neglected the appointed task, eager to meet the female again in person.

* * *

The second day into their travels was when Starscream noticed something wasn't quite right with the female. She rested more, was uncommonly distracted, her words terse and sharp, sometimes even with her son.

He interceded when he came across Alexis leaning haphazardly against a wall, her son holding tight onto her arm.

Alexis turned around when Starscream addressed her, hand firmly placed on the wall as she tried to argue or speak, only to promptly collapse on the floor, consciousness lost.

* * *

Her manchild was particularly calm when Starscream picked the female up, leading her back to the bridge to where their covered cot resided, only to realize rather belatedly that he couldn't fit, and neither would his hand without destroying half of the spot that she had covered and protected as their space.

So he took the female to his and Skywarp's quarters, clearing his wingmate out with far too much of a protest. Starscream grabbed a nearby cloth, placed it on the floor and put Alexis on top. The boy rushed to her side, getting on his knees, his expression schooled and far too calm.

Alexis was pale, strange indentions lined her forehead, of what he realized where fingernail marks. Her nose was bleeding lightly, she seemed to be having trouble breathing, the air coming out of her lungs in distinguishable wheezes.

"She's in pain," the youngling Aaron spoke to Starscream for the first time.

"How long?"

"Since Thundercracker went missing." He pressed his small hand against her forehead, then brushed lightly above her heart. "Here, and here." The boy frowned. "Is she going to die?" The boy's voice was soft, but his words were spoken without ill-effect. Yes, the child was definitely of Vildan heritage, teaming with unnatural control as his mother lay their prone and suffering. What, by Primus, could she have possibly seen in his father?

Starscream bent down, hand out, scanners activating. Aaron jumped up at that, his mother's procured rod extending as he guarded Alexis from the Seeker's attention. The boy's face was drawn and tight, pale skin brushing scarlet from the stress, making the delicate etchings on his half Vildan flesh all the more apparent. A couple stray tears involuntarily escaped from his far too bright yellow-green eyes, his expression vengeful.

Now, that, most definitely, he inherited from his mother.

"I'm just going to scan her." He balked at the idea of needing to explain himself to anyone. What a strange mess of events they were in. But Alexis was bonded to TC, an intricacy of a state that truly was beyond what any of them comprehended, forging new parameters of engagement.

"You want to hurt her," the youngling spoke, his emotions once more stagnant. He swiped the rod forward, catching one of Starscream's digits with a sharp whack.

"If that were so, why did you let me take her here?"

Aaron had no response for that. He turned dreadfully sullen.

"Your mother trusts me."

"No. She doesn't."

Starscream had had enough, swiping the boy to the side, he did the necessary scan, which didn't reveal much. Holding Aaron back, he leaned forward, his digit lightly ghosting against her forehead.

Her vitals immediately changed, her energy signature surging; her eyes opened.

* * *

"I don't believe you."

"I've already proved it twice."

"You've proved nothing."

"Should I prove it again?" Starscream got up, made the motion of leaving the far too crowded storage hold that also served as their medical compartment. He didn't know how much longer Skywarp would be able to detain her youngling, and he intended to take advantage of what little time he had.

"It doesn't make sense," she said softly, with a strain, her attention firmly placed on Starscream's pediforms.

"It makes perfect sense." He exhaled loudly through his intakes. "You're too recently bonded, this separation, _his_ desertion, _is_ your pain." The idea that she was actually having spark pains made him curious of Cybertronian and human relations in a way he had not been able to think of since his last training sessions.

Alexis was shivering, her breaths were coming out tighter, the blood draining out of her face all over again. He bent down, couldn't stop grinning when he bent his digit toward her.

"Shall I?"

"No!" she pushed herself back on the too large medical table, folded into herself, her chin resting on her knees, eyes not leaving him.

"As you _command_." The Seeker leisurely drew his digit back. He got back up. The female's pain was returning steadily now. If she let it continue, Alexis would soon reach her pain threshold again.

"Why _you_?"

"Why am _I_ able to take the pain away?" he eagerly added the missing words to her own inquiry. The female gave him yet another look, this one quite severe. His digits involuntarily twitched.

The Supreme Air Commander didn't really know, but he knew what he _wanted_ to be the truth. It was quite delicious, made a thrilling little wave of fire circle beneath his spark chamber.

"Because I am a member of his Trine, because his spark, long ago, became part of mine. We are capable of sharing the same spark signatures, and it seems, your body, your mind, your _heart_ has decided that I _am_ a part of what you lost."

"That's the most ridic…" She bit down on her tongue, cringed and winced, blood dripping from her nose as her eyelids fluttered. She swayed, her legs fell forward as she pushed her palms flat against the table she was sitting on, trying to remain conscious. How Alexis fought it. She was spectacular, a sight to behold, one he really felt the need to…

"Ask me to touch you, and I will," he told her. He wanted to hear her ask. He _would_ hear her ask. That he would not negotiate.

"No."

"You wish to suffer?"

He didn't expect an answer, but she managed one.

"Then face the alternative? G _ladly_." She looked up at him, smiling at him madly as she swiped the scarlet off beneath her nose. Alexis then managed more, her words wobbly and affected. He had a flashback to several years ago on Earth, in a cell, remembering her resolve to deny him. "Touch me and you die."

"It would seem you will, if I _don't_." He preened at that, rather elated at the idea. He w _anted_ to touch her, badly, since before now, since long before _then_ , she _needed_ him to. And he wouldn't be gentle in his persuasion of this fact.

"You die. Thundercracker dies. You die, and who, my _dear_ , will take care of your son?" He bent down toward her, crowding her space, waiting patiently.

"You are cruel," she hissed out.

"No, merely, _willing_."

She chuckled cynically at that, her eyes blurry, her gaze unfocused. Tears were falling out of eyes, painting a path down her white skin. Alexis was shaking now, assaulted with pain and torture unlike anything that a human should have been able to tolerate, if her vitals were anything to go by.

"Touch me in any manner I deem improper, and I will drop you like the scourge you are."

His spark chamber tightened, his digits twitching with anticipation. Even her threats stirred him, filling him with sinister delight.

Starscream touched her.

And when he did, she wasn't the only one that swayed.


	23. Assent

Alexis felt fuzzy and disoriented. Opening her eyes and finding herself in some darkened room, an unfamiliar one, didn't help with her already present discombobulation. Terra was asleep beside her, comfortable and sleeping on her back, the dog's front and back paws sticking out askew in the air, her head on the end of Alexis' own pillow.

She sat up. Her head felt strange, her limbs heavy. Terra scooted closer and plopped herself back down at Alexis' side, crowding her space. She petted the dog for a couple of minutes until she felt ready to stand up, leaving the room she was in.

Bright lights assaulted her eyes as she left the long hallway. She found Skywarp sitting comfortably on a bench going over a tablet.

"Where's Aaron?"

Alexis didn't know where she was, or how she got there. But where her son was, was so much more important than that. She didn't feel like she was in danger, but she definitely felt… uncomfortable.

He took his time to answer, his optics examining her slowly. "The Vildan female took him."

"What?"

"His," he searched for the word, mouth lifting after he did, "aunt." He leaned toward her, slim digit extending toward her forehead. "Do you need me to…?" he offered.

"What?" she asked again. The uncomfortable feeling went up a notch. Alexis took a step backwards. The purple Seeker watched with disappointment, his hand pulling back. She remembered having them meet up with Sharaih as one of her conditions on going with the Seekers, but she certainly didn't remember actually doing it. Although her memory at the moment felt scrambled.

The Seeker spoke, his tone agreeable, almost soothing, if not for the teasing lilt of his speech. "Which part do you want me to explain? Because your one syllable inquiries do not give me the necessary data needed in order to form a valid response." His mouth twisted into a lopsided smile.

Wow. He _talked_. And he joked, even now, he had this queer little smile on his mouthpiece as he watched her. She barely knew him, but he seemed likable, despite his constant bantering. And if it wasn't for his prominent Deception insignias, she would have left it at that. But just because he was easier to get along with, did not make him any less dangerous.

"I don't remember anything since…" Alexis closed her eyes, leaned heavily against the wall as a wave of nausea hit her. She remembered the pain, the _excruciating_ pain, remembered getting into an argument with Starscream, remembered… Her eyes flashed back open when the Seeker began to speak.

"You've been sleeping for well over 18 hours," Skywarp began. "We've been here, on Tin, for exactly four hours, 13 minutes and 7 seconds."

"Tin, what is Tin?"

He put his data pad to the side, now focused on her entirely.

"You have memory corruption," he stated.

No, she had blackouts, which really wasn't any more reassuring.

"I… Is Thundercracker nearby?"

He tilted his head to the side. A grim frown lined his mouthpiece. "What would make you ask that?"

"I feel better," she said simply. "Or at least better than before."

"I can _still_ touch you, you know, just in case," Skywarp let her know, this time not moving toward her, even though he seemed eager to. He learned quickly.

She ignored him. "And what exactly has happened in the 18 hours I have been asleep?"

He let her know, his tone factual, almost bored. They met up with the shuttle Sharaih had been on and then continued to Tin, a space resort where the Seekers had contacts. They were in one of Tin's suites, an elaborate space that oddly seemed suited to people both the Seeker's size and her own. There was furniture and furnishings both geared toward her size and theirs.

Alexis walked farther into he room, sat down on an extremely comfortable sofa that seemed to swallow her body whole in comfort. Terra came into the room, gave the Seeker a curious look before settling on the floor by Alexis' feet.

"So where's Aaron?" she asked again. She fiddled with her coolant band, identifying that Aaron was nearby. She needed just another minute before the device was able to locate him, and then she would go find him herself.

"They went to get something to eat. They could have ordered in, but felt the need to _browse_ through the food on the promenade."

"Are they safe?" She stood back up. The carpet under her bare feet was soft and fluffy, another comfort that made her feel even more uneasy. She needed to find her shoes and go find Aaron. She needed to do it now.

"For a Vildan female, she is quite protective of her charges, both you, and Aaron."

"I…"

"And besides," he shrugged easily, wings pinching behind his slender backpanel, "they are back." He picked up his tablet again, turning his attention back to whatever he had been looking at.

There was a small chirping sound as the door swooshed open. Terra got up, went to the door, tail wagging. Aaron came in, led by Sharaih, both carrying small bundles.

"You're awake." Sharaih came toward her, held her left hand up in a Vildan familiarity greeting. Alexis lifted her own hand, the tips of their fingers meeting.

"You look better, has the pain passed?" Sharaih took off her face veil, a beautiful delicate orange fabric that made her light red skin glow.

Alexis nodded her head. Her son stared at her for a long moment, mouth relaxing, eyes softening. He brushed his shoulder against her arm as he passed her.

"Then can we eat now?" Aaron wanted to know. He headed toward the middle of the room, pressed a small button on a wooden stand. A long table folded out of the floor along with matching benches to sit on. He ordered Terra to sit and to stay, gave her what looked to be a large bone that would preoccupy the dog for some time. The food was set on the table, the aroma already drifted around the space.

Alexis' stomach grumbled. She was hungry, and now that her son was back, now that Sharaih was here, confirming what the Seeker had said, she felt so much better. And yet…

"Yes, but…" she faltered. She looked at her son, both relieved and consternated. "I thought, that is, you were supposed to go back to Renth with Sharaih. It isn't safe here, and…"

Aaron's face was becoming twisted with contained emotion. He sat down at the bench with a forceful little thump.

"He wouldn't leave you while you weren't feeling well. He said..." Sharaih offered a half smile as she delicately patted her nephew's shoulder. "That you needed protection from..." her eyes darted to where Skywarp sat, who was now openly watching them with interest. "Them."

Alexis plopped herself down on the bench next to her son and gave him a little side hug. Things had been difficult for him the last few days, but her little man was strong. Sharaih sat down across from Alexis.

"In this environment, they seem _subdued_ ," Sharaih added. "If not a little pretentious, overbearing and stubborn," she spoke evenly, not caring if the Seeker that was present heard. "I did inform Aaron that they cannot harm you, not with you being bonded to their trinemate. And that you needed their help to find your provider. But he is right, to leave you now, with _them_ , does not sit well in one's system."

"Then thanks, I suppose."

Sharaih nodded her head toward Aaron, indicating that it was okay to take the food out of the bags. His aunt helped him get it all out, passing out bowls, small plates, and large shallow spoons.

They ate soup, rolls, a salad and a sweet tasting beverage that left a sharp, but pleasant aftertaste in the mouth. The disgruntled look slowly passed away from Aaron's face, now focused on his eating.

"Do you really believe this Sunstreaker took TC?" her niece asked as she took a small bite of her roll.

"Yes."

"Because he's bonded to you?"

At Sharaih's question, Skywarp dropped his data pad on the floor, then had a strange convulsing fit that made his throat rattle and squeak. He managed to gain control. He stared at Sharaih's back before turning his full attention on Alexis.

"Explain the female's words," the Seeker demanded, his heavy words quite capable of instilling terror, if Alexis wasn't accustomed to such ferocity of spirit. The change in his personality was quite astonishing. She knew that he and TC were close, more than trinemates, better than friends, the instant defensive measures that were instigated at her niece's accidental words, broadcasting his offense.

Alexis remained silent. Sharaih dropped her head in silent contemplation, glancing at Alexis with the knowledge that she had said something she shouldn't have, something, perhaps, Alexis should have informed the Seekers of sooner. But she didn't trust them, although holding onto what Sideswipe had done to her so long ago made it feel more personal than she intended.

So she told him. "When Sideswipe died, he bonded to me."

" _Sideswipe_?" Skywarp repeated. "The female was referring to…" His optics dimmed, that large processor of his connecting the lines together with impressive speed. "I see," he realized. "They were spark twins. So that Bot bonding to you, was bonding you to them both. Did _you_?" He leaned forward, optics narrowed on her with what seemed to be distrust.

"No! I never chose him. I never bonded to him, but he…"

"This explains everything," the Seeker interrupted again, a habit that was starting to strain on her nerves. He gave her an accusatory glance that was in no way friendly. Yes, his affable nature, while not a cover up, was not _all_ that he was. "So it isn't TC the Bot wants, but _you_."

Alexis glanced over at Aaron, not sure if she was comfortable having such a conversation in front of her son, even if they had already talked about it. "No. It's been over seven _years_. And whatever he felt for me died when he found out about Aaron."

Skywarp stared at her, then burst into a fit of highly animated laughter. Almost nothing he did was low-key. At that, Sharaih got up, gathered up Aaron's food and settled him in their room at the end of the hall. She returned, this time sitting by Alexis, her sharp eyes focused on the Decepticon. She was grateful for the support her niece offered her, especially when the door slid open and Starscream slithered in.

He immediately sent Skywarp on some unspoken task, and then stormed to his own quarters.

* * *

She never liked Starscream. Alexis probably loathed him more than anything else. And yet here she was, away from restored Earth, away from all the plans she had just started to formulate, away from Thundercracker and with the Seekers, a pair of beings that were so dangerous and that had such an abominable reputation, both having done such unrepentant things to her planet, to her people, to so many others.

She was mad. She was crazy. But they were the only two capable of helping her find TC sooner, rather than far too late.

Alexis felt desolate and at odds, flailing for a secure surface to stand on. Even getting Sharaih to take Aaron away did not quell the emotional turbulence her mind was stuck in.

Feeling her son was now in safe hands did help though, and finding her staff and clinging to it helped more than an appointment with a psychologist.

"He's not here," Starscream blurted out with no preamble, after storming back into the room, after having disappeared for a good two hours, which had been fine with her, as it gave her time to make the necessary plans for Sharaih and her son's departure. Terra traveling with the two added a little more difficulty to their trip, but nothing that some extra creds couldn't handle.

"He must be," Alexis spoke with a hoarse voice, already not liking where the conversation was trying to go.

"And _what, tell me,_ leads you to _that_ conclusion? Because as far as I am aware, all you have done since we got here is _sleep_." He could sure paint his words with blame, his optics deeply set on her as his mouth became a tight line.

Alexis knew, with the sharp manner in which he was talking to her, that Skywarp had informed him of what they had been talking about.

"Because I am not _sick_ at the moment, you _clod_ ," Alexis spat out with a burst of anger, feeling the separation from her son too keenly, already missing the support of Sharaih who had been more than willing to stay with her. Alexis was starting to believe that what she felt toward him was stronger than loathing. Thundercracker was right about Starscream. She needed to stay away from him. Not just because of what he had done, but because he was rude, abrasive, and she could really do without the way the Seeker looked at her when he _knew_ she was looking back.

She felt isolated and cut off, forced into the company of the immoral and cruel. But whatever offense Starscream was feeling was ridiculous and uncalled for and she was tired of his emotional capriciousness.

Starscream seemed to startle at her bitter words. His arms jerked over his cockpit; he stood to his feet, all stiff limbs and dominating stance.

"Thundercracker is not here," Starscream reasserted. "And neither is your Bot of a _lover_."

Alexis growled at that, her foul mood thickening. She stood as well, all the good that did, pointed a sharp finger up in the air at the towering Seeker. He didn't let her speak.

"I cannot believe that he is bonded to you, and you did not reciprocate, to Sideswipe, to Sunstreaker, to either, or," he snarled, " _both_."

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

"You will or my assistance ends here," he told her with petulance, with a rising anger that was starting to match her own.

She needed to calm down, that or leave the room. And yet she could do neither. She needed this. Alexis _wanted_ this. Her mouth practically burned. He had taken full advantage of her not feeling well, obviously delighted in her unease that _he_ was able to make better. That, she somehow, couldn't easily forgive, or forget about.

"I am _not_ bonded to _you_ ," Alexis suddenly found herself saying, the words calm yet loud, filled with an affront that twisted all the words into a statement of absolute truth. She gave him a dangerously dismissive look from his peds to his blank face. "Nor do I have sexual inclinations toward you."

At those words the Seeker took a large step back as if he'd been hit. His countenance shadowed over with something terrifying and unfamiliar. "I never said you were," the Seeker finally spoke up, his words even yet highly strained. He wouldn't look at her. His wings fell behind his backpanel, his servos drooping along his sides. "You _limited_ human h _ellion_ ," he lashed out. His mouth turned grim and unpleasant. His inescapable gaze snapped back down at her. The Supreme Seeker appeared ill-disposed, oozing hostility. "But even _you_ must understand how this changes things." His modulated statement was filled with deprecating ridicule.

"No. I don't. Because Sunstreaker still has TC, and I, well, I am still here aren't I?"

"You… You are a fool," Starscream spat out.

She didn't know why, but his words made her chest tighten, made tears build up in the corners of her eyes. Now it was she who couldn't look at him.

"How am I to protect you properly if I don't know everything?"

"You aren't here to protect me, but to help me find TC."

"And yet I cannot do one without doing the other. I should have left you behind," he grumbled and complained. "I have only made things easier for Sunstreaker. I might as well just offer you as a gift, with my compliments," he said, making a broad sweeping motion with his hand.

"You're not making any sense."

"And you kept the truth from me, something that will cost us dearly. That changes things," he repeated yet again.

He was being terribly melodramatic. What he was implying was ridiculous. Of all the people to accuse her of keeping things hidden, the King of Deceit!

"This changes things," she mocked him, feeling defensive and spiteful. "You _should_ have left me behind. Or do you remember that I don't believe in owing _favors_."

"We've lost TC's signal," Starscream suddenly decided to inform her, his optics wide with a form of pleasure.

"What exactly does that mean?" she asked, tone softer and tight, words coming out strained. Her eyes narrowed on Starscream. She gulped hard.

He frowned bitterly. "It means finding him is going to be _more_ difficult. It means you need my help now more than ever."

"You just said you prefer to leave me behind. I think that is an excellent idea." She forced herself to calm down, to find what reason she could so that she could talk without the venom that desperately tried to reach the surface of her mouth. "Thank you for helping me," Alexis finally managed. "But I will, I will continue on my own."

"You will do no such thing."

"You just said that…"

"Stop telling me what I said. I am quite aware of the words that come out of my mouthpiece. And if you believe that I would allow…"

" _Allow?_!" Alexis interrupted. He knew how to rile her, his actions, most certainly his words. "You are _not_ my keeper, and most certainly not my _master_."

"What the _frag_ is your problem?" he asked of her.

"This arrangement is.."

"Necessary," Starscream cut her off this time, a sense of wretchedness coming off of him that made her antsy all over again. She knew what he wanted from her, and more time wasn't going to make her more compliant, no matter what he thought. At least he didn't try anything like he had on The Pit, an experience that still made her stomach twist, and her hatred for the Seeker in front of her revive. "Or have you forgotten of your spark pains?"

"Rivet said that…"

"You put far too much trust in that _medic._ Do you know _where_ I first met him? Do you know what he was _doing_?"

"Rivet is going to help me. I _trust_ him."

Starscream actually growled at that, a loud vibrating sound that seemed to echo through her skin and rattle her bones. When he spoke again, the words were calm, but his optics were hard.

" _Trust_ him all you want. But remember this, if it comes to you, or what he cares about, you, Alexandra, will burn."

"Maybe with you," Alexis shot back, the use of her full name making her defensive and hostile all over again. She took a couple of steps back, picked up her packed bag, checked her concealed weapons, zipped up her long jacket. "I'm leaving. I'll find Thundercracker. I've found him before." She paused. Alexis took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. "But if you can convince me why I should stay without warnings, manipulation, and with a _very_ good reason, then I will listen."

He was surprised at her readiness to concede, which had him staring at her even harder, a human specimen that wanted to find TC. And yes, if that meant working with the Seekers, then Alexis would. She could swallow her pride, try to reign in the evident contention and fear, and the memories that at moments like this, tended to overwhelm her, making her emotional and reckless.

Because she was desperate, and knew, when she wasn't so angry she couldn't think straight, that Thundercracker's trinemates were the ones most capable of locating him.

Starscream's mouthpiece opened, then shut just as promptly. He took a step back, then took another small step forward, looking awkward and floundering in confusion. At moments like that, he almost seemed... _normal_ , which really made things even stranger between them.

A rumbling started, another vibration of sound that crashed against the wall behind her, making the floor shift beneath her feet. The suite's doors slid open, a mech she'd never seen before pushed through. Skywarp followed after, an effective looking gun aimed at the intruder.

"I found Bender right where you said he'd be, Screamer." He pushed the small mech hard against the shoulder panel, forcing him to wobble violently. "Shall we _ask_ him where Thundercracker is?"

Her attention may have been elsewhere, but even out of the corner of her eye Alexis saw the way that Starscream's face lit up, a triumphant expression assaulting his features.


	24. Afflict

Just because Thundercracker didn't believe himself a Decepticon any longer, didn't mean that he didn't still have certain responsibilities. Getting an emergency message from Skywarp was nothing new. But it was the first time he had received one when he was with Alexis. Dropping Alexis and the child off at his ship, he was forced to leave the female for the first time since they mated.

Anyone else and he would have let them burn. Anyone else in trouble, and he would have taken Alexis along with him. But where Warp tended to get into predicaments, he didn't want the female near.

And yet separating from her and so soon. No, he most certainly wouldn't have done that for anyone but Warp. He knew what the consequences would be if he stayed away from the female too long.

But his To Do List was simple:

1\. Find Skywarp.

2\. Rescue him from whatever slag he had gotten into.

3\. Return to Alexis.

Which, with his calculations and the coordinates he was sent, TC knew wouldn't take more than a day. Which was about all the time he was willing to spare. He wouldn't risk harm to Alexis, nor test the sensitivity of their bond.

He felt _off_ being away from Alexis, now, before, not just because his spark was tied to the female. As one hour turned into two, turned into eight and then twelve, the Seeker found the task of finding Warp turn tedious.

He reached the Arn port. There was no incoming traffic, the space station dark and ominous. He could have found that curious, if not for the fact that he had personally seen Warp clear out a space station before, during one of his great _binges_.

He tried yet again to contact Warp, getting only a repeat of his initial emergency transmission, meaning Skywarp had either been disabled, or a variety of other things that would only prove to complicate.

Thundercracker thought of trying to contact Starscream again, in order to confirm the transmission, but Screamer had been blocking him since he had first sparked Alexis. And the Trine's link had been distorted since he got Warp's first message, an indication of interference.

He landed and immediately armed his weapons. Warp up to old habits or not, did not mean he was allowed to be lax in his paranoia. He'd never been to Arn himself, but its dubious reputation made his decision to leave Alexis behind a solid one.

The station had one purpose, and one purpose only. Pleasure. Whatever kind, whatever form, whatever could have been wanted or thought up. There were no simulations, just high-end femmes and mechs that serviced and provided and saw to their master's or mistress' needs.

A place that Warp would thrive.

A place that Warp would undoubtedly get into trouble.

Gaining access to the station was made easier by the open invitation that he had received from one of their patrons some mega-cycles ago. South end bay doors opened once he was cleared by automated security systems. He landed. No one was there to greet him. No security force, no eager femmes or mechs, no attendants.

Walking out into the main corridor, there were immediate signs of weapon's fire, of wide range damage. All recent.

And yet there was no bodies, whether off-lined or otherwise. The station was as empty inside as it had been outside.

There were definitely no signs of Skywarp, no residual signatures.

And yet TC felt Warp nearby, a momentary familiar tug on their shared link.

What could have passed as music began to thump lightly, building in tempo and volume as he made his way to the central promenade. Lights flickered overhead, smoke thickened. TC finally came upon a lone figure, the familiar energy of his wingmate identified.

"Warp, what the slag is…"

Thundercracker didn't get to finish his words, for the image of his wingmate flickered and flashed and broke apart.

Sunstreaker appeared from the haze, blue optics burning through the heavy smoke. The yellow bodywork of the Bot gleamed boldly through the thick shadows, a high contrast to the dark surroundings.

"Not Skywarp." The Bot smiled, wide and pleased. His tone was smug, his expression riddled with signs of excitement. "You've been searching for me. I'm _here_." He stopped his forward motion, took a large step backward as he grinned knowingly. Heavy armor folded swiftly down the Autobot's form before that image flickered and disappeared as well.

The space station exploded around TC.

* * *

He woke with his processor straining. His casing vibrated with energy. His flesh was ravaged with burns. He felt the slick sensation of his body covered in his own leaking fluids, his Energon still gushing from thick gashes.

Thundercracker had been fooled. Utterly, in a manner that should have been impossible. One of the benefits of having a trinemate was the singularly specific, highly secure internal communication link that was created when they bonded, one that couldn't be manipulated or spied on or copied. The idea that someone could emulate their link was believed impossible. The knowledge that someone could broadcast their distinctive signal so perfectly, and make him believe that it was Skywarp was...

"Wondering how I did this, aren't you?"

His optics cleared, but the feeling of being restrained intensified. Thundercracker was pinned to the back of Sunstreaker's ship, dangling over the warming thrusters. The ship was positioned between two active suns, causing havoc to his sensory nodes. Even the protective lenses that automatically activated over his optics did not shield him from the intense glare. Stray rays from the suns flickered and burned, making his body convulse, forcing all his warning systems to activate at once, as what energy he had was effectively drained, keeping him immobile.

He was literally melting, definitely exposed. His safety protocols were stuck in a loop of a repair mode that had been damaged in the blast.

The Bot didn't wait for TC to speak, just activated his jet pack so that he could hover closer. Sunstreaker was unaffected by the heat, was untouched and undamaged. He was still covered in his thick protective armor. Yellow seared inside TC's optics, burning through the hazy patch of his view that was now dominated by Sunstreaker's golden armor that flared brighter than the nearby suns.

" _Time_. That's how. A _lot_ of it. And creds, and _meeting_ the right people. And convincing them to share. Nobody likes to share _anything_ anymore." His tone turned petulant and filled with perverse humor. He smiled wildly as he took in TC's bruised and torn and heat infused form. "You look just like I've wanted you to, for such a very long time." His smile turned into a devilish grin. "No, _worse_."

"I'm going to kill you now." He made a motion with his hand, chuckled gleefully. "Well, in about forty-three seconds. Know that besides the _years_ involved in preparing and planning for this, that ending you was… _easy and fragging quick_. But at least Alexis will know I keep my promises when I _end_ you." He smiled at the thought of that, then decided to indulge the Seeker, rather eagerly. "Told her I'd kill you if you tried to separate us. I _knew_ you wanted her! But separating us wasn't enough for you, was it?!" He let out a huff, a blaster folding out of his gauntlet that he idly examined. "And then you make me come after you. You've always been an arrogant son of a glitch, but I would have never pegged you for being impractical. Your mistake, my added pleasure."

"You will hurt _her_ if you do this," TC spoke up, his vocals garbled and damaged, the words difficult to form. He could die. He was going to die, but Alexis, he wouldn't let her... He continued, forced to reroute what energy he had so that he could speak. "She suffered when Sideswipe died and she wasn't even bonded to him…"

"What does that have to do with anything?!" The Bot asked with affront, with clear discombobulation that the Seeker even knew such a thing. It gave him the opportunity to drive his point home.

"She _chose_ me," TC boasted, the words strange and slagging fascinating.

The Bot's optics blazed, his mouth flattened into a snarl at Thundercracker's words. The heat behind Thundercracker's backpanel dimmed, as the Bot began to heave with difficulty, his hands shaking.

"She wouldn't." Sunstreaker finally managed, sounding weak and stirring with rage, momentarily appearing vulnerable, until he seemed to strengthen himself with the vulgar curses that burst from his mouth. He pointed at TC, the blaster brought back up as it hummed with readiness. He spoke loudly, with apparent fury. " _You_ separated us. _You_ kept me from her. But she had to know I would return for her and that I hadn't forgotten. That these attempts of yours were…" His vocals broke apart, he growled. "She wouldn't bond to you, not _you_!" He whined and groused, arguing with himself. He locked his mouthpiece, his bright blue optics attacking TC's ruby ones.

"Even if this is true, that changes _nothing_." He calmed himself. "She's human. She'll survive." He sighed heavily. "I want her. I lost her. I want her back. I want TC dead. I've waited too long for…" Sunstreaker's words died when he glanced back over at the Seeker, as if he'd momentarily forgotten he was even there. "Fine. Postponing his death is endurable, as long as he _does_ die," the Bot said to himself as if he was speaking to someone else, the conversation one-sided and curious. "Doesn't mean he can't suffer in the meanwhile."

Sunstreaker's full attention returned to TC. His mouth lifted with perverse satisfaction.

The warmth behind TC stirred alive all over again, burning against his flesh as the ship's thrusters activated in short bursts of building heat and pain that ripped through him body and spark and mind.

* * *

The second time he came on-line, he found that he was no longer hanging from the Autobot's ship, but was inside it, thrown inside a cramped cell that was not much larger than himself.

He'd thought Sunstreaker would go after Alexis, not him. Believed her to be the vulnerable one, not him. Believed he was prepared, knew he could protect her.

He'd been foolish and short-sided, too full of pride. So focused on Alexis' safety that he hadn't considered his own vulnerabilities.

Sunstreaker hadn't just exposed and taken advantage of his weaknesses, he also made sure the Seeker was paying for his mistakes.

Even Megatron had been more merciful than this.

He'd been tortured, violated and tested. By Sunstreaker, by his well-trained merchs. And once it was discovered that he was the bonded of Alexis, he'd been left alone, to the silence, to the stench of his own charred flesh, to a numbness that escalated into the sensation of being melted internally, his systems on fire under the confinement of his thick flesh, an added torture that had nothing to do with Sunstreaker's attentions.

Thundercracker could only fold in on himself, arms wrapped tightly around his body as the intermittent waves of pain washed down and through him, paralyzing him and taking away his reason as he trembled and shook, his spark suddenly too big for its chamber, pressing and pushing and struggling to break free, needing to find her.

He left her.

Too soon.

He abandoned her.

To save Skywarp.

And this spark pain was everything he deserved, the potency far worse than anything he had ever heard of when described, and yet did not match the way he ached for her. The desperation for the female, to see her, to hear her voice, he needed something, _anything_.

He drowned himself in memories of Alexis. But it only got worse, pain mixed with exhaustion, mixed with momentary spurts of relief that gave him marked moments of traumatizing clarity.

* * *

Somewhere between the haze, the pain and the understanding, TC found Sunstreaker standing in front of the electrified field of the cell he was in, grinning wide.

"I'm here to make things _worse,_ " the Bot announced. As if his presence alone wasn't enough to make that obvious. He attached a small device to the side of the cell, backed up and tapped something on his wrist guard.

That was when everything within Thundercracker went astoundingly silent.

His connection to his trinemates was lost. The hollowness in his spark chamber filled with an undefinable chill. Everything became muted, his sensory input dimming into the limited state of one.

"Kinda like dying, isn't it?" The Bot huffed, watching the Seeker's reaction with interest. "The creds I had to pay for this." He flicked a digit at the illegal modified nullifier. "Worth it though." He chuckled, passing his hands down the front of TC's cell, energy trailing after his digits. "You planning on staying on the floor your entire stay here?" The Bot ridiculed, his mouth curling with further depreciation.

TC managed to lift his head, the spark pain, which had been due to return, settled back into a numbness of flesh that sucked away his energy, yet boosted his resolve. He stared at his slowly healing flesh, managing not to flinch when he stiffly adjusted his body. The sharp pangs of discomfort was agonizing. "I'm not staying much longer."

"You're staying as long as _I_ need you to, no longer." He gave TC an indulgent little smile. "I figure that is about a month, maybe two. I'll _wean_ Alexis off you. Because killing you outright would only damage her, and I'm no _monster_." He looked pointedly at TC, frowning tightly, daring the Seeker to argue, obviously wanting him to. He took another small step closer to the cell, inhaled sharply.

"What did you do to her?"

TC used what energy he could to prop himself up on his kneeplates. He didn't answer the question, not caring what consequences there would be for such defiance. He had to hand it to Sunstreaker for the imagination he had when it came to variations of punishment. But Thundercracker would defy the Bot to his last spark beat, give him no further satisfaction. Let him beat and torture him. He was almost enjoying the singular attention shown, knowing he would get out of this cell eventually. And when _that_ happened…

It wasn't hope that held the Seeker together, but thoughts of retribution. Of the Autobot's death that would neither be easy nor quick. And those that served Sunstreaker and that had put a digit on him under the Bot's command, they too, he owed. And TC had never been one for keeping long-standing debts.

Sunstreaker didn't approve of his silence. He never did. Just when the Bot appeared ready to make his malcontent vocal, TC spoke.

"I didn't _force_ myself on her like your brother, for one."

The rage that ignited in the Bots optics was well worth whatever _correction_ that would come. Sunstreaker dimmed his optics, his gaze heavily fixed on the Seeker as he seemed to fight an internal battle that had him wringing his hands together, only for them to drop flatly alongside his body when he was caught mid fidget.

"I didn't want her," the Bot suddenly said, his tone flat and distant, an echo of something warm drifting behind the utterance. "But Sides…" He stopped, frowned tightly. "She's vulnerable and distant, marred with compassion and drowning in _goodness._ I detest what she is. I deplore what she can do to others, without effort, without reason, without gain. I suffered when she was with me. I suffered when she was away. I suffered every time I touched another femme, or tried to…" He took a large gulp of air through his intakes. "My brother _loves_ her. And I…" The Bot steeled himself, his arms wrapping tightly around his chassis in an open challenge.

"I repeat..." He stepped as close as he could get to the cell, optics lowered down to TC's form, his composure marred with disgust and impatience. "What. Did. You. Do to her?"

"Everything you _never_ will."

The rigidness increased in the Bot, now budding with disbelief. He suddenly chuckled tightly, hiding his true reaction. "There is no reason for her to choose you. What you are. What you've done. To her. To her species, to anyone that ever stood in your master's way. You are a _Decepticon,_ " Sunstreaker grounded out. "If she cannot fear you, she will hate you!"

The Bot's hands turned into fists. He backed away from the cell, before twisting back around to look down at TC. He didn't say anything for several long minutes, just studied the Seeker in raging silence.

He opened his edged mouthpiece. "You manipulated her, somehow, some way, changed her memories or warped her mind. Whatever you did…." Sunstreaker halted suddenly, took a step back and visibly sulked. He shook his head. "You're right. It doesn't matter. Not anymore."

"Matter?" TC asked, not liking the resolve that had snuck into the Bot's strange incomprehensible outburst. Obviously what Sunstreaker had done to him was not all he had planned for him, for Alexis…

Thundercracker needed out of the cell. Now. Even weak and near useless he was quite sure he could ring the life out of the self-satisfied Autobot, given a chance.

Sunstreaker frowned, then pointed sharply at TC with a perfect digit. "You. You don't matter. Whatever you've done doesn't matter. And I won't allow you to sully the female any further with your preposterous claims." The Bot growled lowly. "Slag, not killing him is far more than I can tolerate." He turned his backpanel to TC, continued to speak as he twirled the blaster around his digit. "Yeah, I know. Yes, I remember. Still… But that doesn't mean that I can't… What? No!"

The Bot wasn't talking to him. Sunstreaker continued the conversation only for it to halt abruptly as he caught TC's stare. Thundercracker couldn't help but think, as the Autobot shuffled quickly out of the room, that he wished that was the most disturbing thing he'd witnessed since their encounter.

Left once more with the newness, the _emptiness_ of only his own mind, the Seeker drooped back down only to force himself up, nearly toppling back over as he managed to finally get himself situated on the nearby berth. It was missized. It was uncomfortable. But it was better than the indignity of passing out again on the floor. As soon as he sat down his systems went into turmoil, desperately initiating self repairs, forcing his non-essential systems off-line, effectively putting him into recharge mode.

* * *

"You're in pain."

He felt fingers traversing alongside some of his recent gashes, the touch intimately familiar, yet impossible. Turning around to face the voice, the dim light of the cell spilled over the female.

TC was her size, or she was his, either way the cell they were imprisoned inside contained them both effectively. He tried not to cringe when he spoke, but that task was near impossible.

"I've been through much worse."

Alexis frowned at that, then scooted closer so that he could carefully place his hands on her arms.

"I wouldn't want to see that." Alexis told him, sorrow in her voice, tears falling down her face.

The female felt incredibly good, almost real. He wanted her closer, but with his bruises and marks and body damage, he would have only harmed her.

"I've missed you," Alexis suddenly said, one of her fingers idly going toward where some of the worst of the damage was. He caught her hand, not allowing her to touch the torn flesh.

Optics and eyes caught. She gave him an empathetic look, one that with her hand tightly held in his own, rumbled through with tangible emotion. Alexis hissed, pulled away, sat up and dangled her feet over the too-tall berth as she started to breathe deeply.

He forced himself toward her, got her to turn around.

Her nose was bleeding, her skin had turned white, she was shaking, fresh tears marring her beautiful eyes.

" _You're_ in pain."

The agony of knowing that he was the cause of her pain, had him turning silent and sullen, unsure of how to process such data. He never believed such an outcome possible. Another error that he wasn't ready for.

She nodded her head in confirmation at his words, took in a strangled breath and wrapped her hand around his forearm, holding on tight. Several long minutes passed before her grip loosened.

"It's been a hell of a couple days," she said when she was able to speak again, her chosen words startling and strange, "since you have gone missing." Alexis turned to face him better, her eyes still watery with unshed tears. "You never told me about any of this, never told me that you could _die_ because of _me_ ," Alexis said with blame, an edge to her words that took him unaware. "And spending all this time with Starscream... I know what he wants from me. I know why he helps me. At least Skywarp isn't so bad," she added.

That was when TC knew, he may have been dreaming but she was _real_. That somehow in her or even his subconscious state, they had connected and combined and came together to communicate like this, in his processor, in her mind… But just because he was aware of that on some level, did not mean that he was entirely perceptive of his awareness.

"You've been having spark pains," he said, his voice low and tainted with uncontrollable dread. His processor raced with unimaginable conclusions, making him tremble with unfamiliar fear. He felt guilt, revulsion, and an anger at himself at having caused such strife on the delicate human. This was never part of his plan, never supposed to be a part of what they shared. He abhorred the idea of her with Starscream, hardly mollified by the knowledge that Warp was there as well.

Thundercracker risked moving closer to her, wanting so much to hold her. Even in this simulation that his mind provided him, his body ached and complained, bringing with it a pain that made his servos clench away from her.

"I shouldn't have left you."

She shook her head. "You needed to. Skywarp was in trouble," Alexis remarked with astonishing understanding.

"I shouldn't have…"

Alexis shook her head again, this time with a fierceness that made her bite her lip and frown tightly. "It's done with." She turned back around, pushed his body flat against the berth, snuggled closer to him, not caring when his sharply damaged flesh scraped and cut and made her lightly bleed.

He tried to pull away.

She wouldn't allow it.

So he allowed her to hold him, careful not to move. And when the Seeker came back on-line several hours later, and all alone, Thundercracker somehow didn't feel quite so empty.


	25. Pursuance

Leaving the shuttle behind, Alexis traveled with Skywarp. Starscream had three days to find Thundercracker as that was all that Alexis would give him.

She was more argumentative than he recalled, mindful, opinionated and surprisingly aggressive when pushed too hard. Gentle, kind, willing to adjust, and not as annoying as she had every reason to be.

For such a supposed simple human, she could say such _things_ , things that startled and enticed and incensed, a ridiculous combination that left him surprisingly eager for their verbal encounters, especially ones that turned toward emotions and boldly spoken truths.

Or what she believed was true.

For a human, she made fair company, better than fair really. But she had been in quite a mood since her spark pains started, since he became not just a source of help, but needed.

Starscream could enjoy others' pains, especially when they deserved it. And while he enjoyed Alexis' pain, it was not because she deserved it but because of what it felt like to touch her when _he_ alleviated it.

Electric. Familiar. Intimate and Bold. Almost entirely organic in nature, and yet compelling and compatible, more than before, more than ever.

Which made the female traveling with Skywarp grate on his tousled nerves of quickly evolving distress. He wanted to touch her more, longer, in different ways. Wanted her inside of him, not Warp, wanting to hear her voice, not from secondhand communications, but from within his cabin.

She didn't hate Skywarp. But he didn't think she liked him either. But that seemed to be changing. He'd seen the slow change between them after the first moon base they stopped on, then the second space station, on the second day when they stopped so she could sleep more comfortably and get some necessary sustenance.

The female responded to Warp's easygoing nature, to his affable conversations that on more than one occasion had Alexis bursting into a fit of unexpected laughter, a sound that was as startling as it was pleasing.

Perhaps if he told her that Warp could show the same sort of attitude to his worst enemies, although with more calculation, she wouldn't have been so ready to give in to his trinemate's manners, while not a deception, was really nothing new. Skywarp loved life, loved to talk, and had always been gregarious in nature.

But it was when the Supreme Air Commander realized that Skywarp was starting to grow accustomed to the female that his mood worsened. He wanted to find Thundercracker, to get her away from Skywarp. Yet he really _didn't_ want to find Thundercracker. And when the female stopped having spark pains, he nearly guffawed with appreciation for what that could mean.

Which made the female stop talking to him all together when he told her. But the glares she sent his way made his insides tremulous, made his Energon g _ush_. The stares he got because of the human traveling with him, the questions that no one would have dared.

That too made him feel… escalated.

The female went to places no sane human would have treaded. Went with them to shady establishments and business of ill repute. Other even more seedy places that had her blushing and paling and looking away, leaving her uncomfortable and entirely out of her element. The female didn't have to go. But once he saw her determination to Starscream made an effort to shock her, to see what it would take for her to run the other way.

And while, once, Starscream was sure she was going to bolt, she only moved to the other side of the room, head down, hand on her right thigh where her dead lover's staff resided, as she waited for the Seekers to finish.

He had achieved making her nervous, frightening her, even made her lose her appetite for an entire day. He enjoyed getting to her, _inside_ her, whatever it took, whatever was required.

But while amusing at first, his tactics only proved to isolate the female further. Which he found was not the outcome he had been aspiring toward.

* * *

Leaving the station manager's office after a good deal of persuasion, loss of creds and not so subtle threats, Starscream had yet another name, another location, one step closer to finding his wingmate.

Who was very much alive.

Despite the internal silence and the sudden loss of presence, he knew that if TC had been killed that he would have felt far more than just an uncomfortable fractured sensation.

In his entire existence Starscream had never been as close to anyone as he was Skywarp, as he had been with Thundercracker, and yet he found himself heavily inclined toward a severance, no matter how dangerous or how painful if it meant another day with the female.

The Supreme Air Commander was focused on her, and he knew it.

He hadn't been so focused on a female since that femme from the Recreation center on a planet that had long been resourced. The planet's annihilation his retaliation after finding out the femme had only been using him to find out the location of Megatron.

She found out where he was soon enough when Megatron came to personally see to the destruction of the planet after they reaped everything of value. The double-crossers, including the femme, executed with far more of a presentation than they deserved.

But Megatron did like to make his points.

He still savored the way the femme looked at him before she too was thrown into the great chasm, her screams a delicious remembrance that still managed to make him shudder with righteous merit.

That was when femmes became nothing more than tools to him, became a means to reach what he needed, became another form of pleasure that was quick and controlled, that was distant and intense.

The femme was the first and last that he allowed sentiment to get in the way, distracted by her praises and physical beauty.

But how glorious it had felt to _ignite_ her.

* * *

The sight the Seeker came upon was unexpected. Alexis, sitting on the gaming table beside Skywarp, actually trying to play telidaw. Skywarp coached her with gestures and nods, the female concentrating on the over-sized holographic images in front of her.

They weren't alone at the table, a semi-striking femme sat across from Skywarp, a diminutive mech sitting across from the human. They didn't seem to mind the human. But since the game was played for creds, they could only appreciate the female's obvious lack of experience.

"What does this one mean again?" Alexis asked of Warp, biting her lip as she pointed at one of the glyphs.

"Stay."

"Stay?"

Skywarp nodded his head. Alexis thought about that for a moment, then pressed her hand on the symbol beside it. As the game continued, it became obvious that Warp and Alexis were partners against the other two, who held no objections for playing as sparklings did when learning the highly satisfying but usually frustrating game.

It wasn't an easy game to win, let alone learn.

Alexis sat down on the adapted chair she had been provided, still unaware of Starscream's arrival. She studied the remaining holographic symbols, actually appearing to enjoy herself.

"We good?" Warp asked of Starscream.

"We _can_ leave."

"After this game."

"Now."

"But…"

The game could last hours, could even last days. And with the slow manner in which Alexis responded, it had the look of lasting far longer than that.

" _Now_."

"But then we forfeit our creds and leave with nothing."

Starscream's response was a look, one that had Warp cursing, then picking up the femme and scrambling for the exit.

* * *

"Do you actually like these kind of places?"

"They are diverting."

"And loud, and scary, and capable of blinding."

"You wouldn't think that if you had the capacity to enjoy yourself."

Alexis made a face at that. "That is not enjoyment to me it is…"

"What?"

"Sin incarnate."

Starscream laughed at that, loudly, loud enough to cut through the loud thumps of bass that tried to pass itself off as audio stimulation. Alexis gave him an unkind look, but at least she was talking to him again.

It was Warp's turn for gathering the necessary information, which, with whom it involved, was going to take a form of questioning that he wasn't so foolish enough to expose the female to.

Even if he was curious of her reaction to _that_.

"I need to go contact Aaron. It's 8'O'clock," Alexis cut through his laughter, once more looking defensive. Her eyes traveled across the enhanced lounge, watching the femmes interact with the mechs that far outnumbered them.

Music, for Cybertronians, could also lead to mating as it did for humans. But instead of using the beats to twine around and move against one another, the audio output was soundwaves that varied in intensity and length, raw kindling that when effective could arouse and entice, and encourage.

Unfortunately, it seemed to have no effect on humans, although Alexis had begun to press her fingers against her forehead. And while the emissions weren't up to his own tastes, they still left him tingling, his lustful gaze sweeping over the room as he looked for a worthy diversion. His attention always returned to the curious female who sat on the table below him. There was no longer a valid excuse to touch her, and he felt as if he was going through some sort of withdrawal. His servos stung pleasantly, his hands felt empty. He was distracted with deprivation, with a sudden burst of an epiphany when he realized that the intoxicating numbness that had overtaken him may never leave him. He needed a drink, or a femme. No. He needed both.

"That will need to wait," he told her, not moving in the slightest. He wasn't ready to leave yet.

"But I always call him at this time. He will be expecting it," Alexis told him, already getting up and ready to leave, seemingly not caring how much danger she could be in if she left him, or the danger she had put herself in by even being seen with him. His reputation _always_ preceded him, his enemies never in short supply. He felt odd at the thought of the human coming to harm, unconsciously uneasy.

His optics leveled on the human, not that they ever left her for long when she was nearby. She made him uncomfortable in a manner that he was unfamiliar with, in a way he didn't want to explore.

Sentiment was for fools. She just initiated his biological imperative. Nothing more. And if he kept having the recurring vision of holding her in his hand and brushing his digits through her hair while she talked to him, well, that meant nothing either.

"Let him know you are engaged. You will contact him later," Starscream ordered, motioning for her to sit back down.

Alexis made a disgruntled face at him, opened her mouth, then covered it with her hand.

"I think…" Alexis managed. She swallowed hard, then started to breathe erratically. "I think I am going to…" She got up and rushed away from him. He had to follow. The moment they were out of the room, she slumped down on her knees and leaned her forehead against the cold wall, her hand still covering her mouth.

She stayed like that for several long minutes. He got several curious stares as he stood watch over her, but nothing he wasn't now used to. He could just imagine the sight they made, imagine other things as well… things that weren't helped by the strained manner in which she continued to breathe. He suddenly remembered the first time he'd seen a human male and female together on Earth. It had occurred on wall that didn't look much different from the one Alexis was leaning against, the two organics going at each other as if it would be their last… which it had been.

He could still hear the humans breathing together, the once curious event now a repetitive echo that taunted and bedeviled him.

"I don't feel right," she finally told him, her soft voice drawing him back. "Can you take me away from this… music? If I walk, I think I am going to throw up."

He'd seen humans disgorge before. It was unpleasant. It was foul. He picked the female up, ignored the rush that came when she shakily curled up on his palm, her legs dangling over. She was so slight, her body full of unexpected heat. Her life energy hummed against his flesh, a vibration of sweetly intrusive sensation that left him burning all over again.

He knew then that it was going to be another long night.

* * *

It only took two and a half days to figure out where Sunstreaker was. But figuring out where he was turned out to be the easy part. Even given the ability to track the Bot's ship did not solve the problem of how to get through the minefield, or how to land on the rock of a planet that had more defensive capabilities than Starscream's own ship.

Which was saying a lot.

The Autobot had too much time to prepare and plan, and to bribe and gather, with force and otherwise, some rather deadly followers that were just as dangerous as the weaponry that trailed along and around and to the Autobot's well endowed ship and planet.

The Supreme Air Commander was almost impressed.

If he didn't have a _key_.

Sunstreaker may have had those mechs that had attacked him and TC on that moon-based tavern cut out their own vocalizers, but that hadn't been enough prevention. Not with Lag, not with time and patience and expertly honed persistence. Not only did he find out Sunstreaker's plans, but the chip necessary to gain clearance through the dangerous field of weaponry.

A chip that had been grafted to the mech's neural net, which fortunately still transmitted once the head was detached from the body.

Alexis didn't ask what was inside the large metal box that Warp brought him.

He didn't tell her.

* * *

There was no perceivable way for them to land. Scanning the planet revealed that it opened on the bottom, which proved no value as they didn't know how to access it.

And while the planet was lined with small purifying ducts, all were far too small to be useful.

"Would I fit?"

Alexis was looking at the schematics, staring intently at the maps of the small planet that Warp had downloaded onto her tablet. The three had a corner space to themselves as they took a break from traveling on a nearby space port, giving the human a chance to get more food.

"If you weren't burned first by the expelled gases," Starscream let her know. "We will need to wait for the Bot to return, or to leave, once that happens, we will gain access."

The female made another one of her faces at that. She stared at her tablet a little longer, her fingers swiping along the screen as she perused the provided information.

"I can't wait that long."

"Why is that?"

Her attention lifted to Starscream. She frowned. "I need to get back to Aaron, I can't, that is..." She stopped talking, her words frustrated and ending in a whisper.

"You would leave him?" Starscream asked in astonishment. Maybe how TC felt about the female was not the same as how the female felt about TC, a sudden thought that left his processor racing.

Perhaps she was more loyal than enamored, more grateful than committed.

"You don't even know if he is here," Alexis calmly stated.

"He is," Warp decided to speak up. Starscream had forgotten his trinemate was there, which was saying a lot for where his attention was.

"How can you be so sure?" The female wanted to know.

Starscream answered that one, his tone sure and firm. "In ways you wouldn't understand."

"You're so smart, no, brilliant," Alexis told him, seemingly unaware of the high compliment she was giving him, the first that he could recall having received from her. If he didn't hear the genuine honesty behind it, he would have been suspicious. Still, her words left him paranoid, unaccustomed to praise, from her, from almost anyone. "Can't you figure out a way for me to get through without killing myself?"

His response was slow, his mind still echoing with her praising voice. It would have taken him longer to speak if Warp hadn't nudged him in the side with a jab that was far more _jabby_ that it needed to be. "Then the fall would kill you."

She tilted her head to the side, gave him a small smile that felt intimate and playful and equally unnerving. "Then make me _not_ fall."

"I could make you something," Warp spoke up, his voice awash with keenness. The female shifted her gaze to the purple Seeker. "But say you do get down there, what next?"

"I find TC and…"

Starscream cut her off, not needing to hear her finish, "Yes, on a planet that is a quarter the size of Earth. It may be smaller, but for you it might as well be Earth itself, especially with those puny legs of yours." He stared down at the unsophisticated appendages. Once more wondering how humans had survived so long with such bodily limitations. "How much can a human travel in an hour? Even if you ran at top speed, you would still be severely lacking in what ground you could cover."

"I can make something for that to."

He kept his optics on the female as he spoke, "Warp, you need to shut your mouthpiece."

He didn't though. Not that he ever would. Not that he could.

"Besides we've already isolated where Sunstreaker is located," Warp finished.

At that unnecessarily spoken information, the female glared at him with suspicion.

"Is this _true_?"

Starscream sent a look at Warp before speaking. Warp pretended not to notice. "Even if it was, it still doesn't account for…"

"Do you even _want_ to find Thundercracker?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Then why are we even here?" The female asked, her voice more strained than before, her body language igniting with tension.

"Because I might as well," Starscream answered easily.

"Might. As. _Well_?" The female's eyebrows lifted. She put her tablet away with a little more force than necessary, picked up the small bags that held her bought supplies.

They started the long walk back to the terminal, which wouldn't have been so fragging long if the female allowed one of them to carry her. Slag, being with them was a privilege, having a Seeker willingly want to handle you, an honor. But the female could be quite sensitive to when she was touched and how.

"We don't have to get him, you know." He smiled down at the female, his processor racing. "I would be willing to take you on."

"What?" The female flinched.

"As anything you wanted," he elaborated.

Her cheeks filled with color, she frowned at him, her stride quickening. "Yes, because you having me as your personal _toy_ is truly appealing."

Skywarp guffawed loudly at that, then said something equally unnecessary through their shared link. Starscream ignored him, wishing that Alexis didn't find it necessary to always have Skywarp with them.

"I never thought of you as a toy, or that is, I haven't thought of you in exactly that way in a while. Now I think of you as se…."

Alexis screeched out, loud and shrill and with enough vocal force to even shut Starscream up. She closed her mouth and then opened it again, ready to say something further.

Skywarp spoke up before she could, "Hey, guys, we are here for TC, remember?" He gave each a look, enjoying himself far more than was necessary. Alexis gripped her bags tighter, shaking her head at Starscream, obviously not understanding just how serious he was with the manner she so easily dismissed his suggestion. "Or do I need to put you in, what do humans call it?" Warp pondered that momentarily, then grinned happily. "Displacement room, no, time out!"

Alexis made a face at that. Starscream said nothing.

Skywarp gave each a sideways glance, and then began to grin even wider, a warning sign all on its own. "Maybe when we find TC he'll give you permission to spark Alexis." He perked up even more with that idea, not catching the way that Alexis paled, her walking motion coming to a complete halt of disbelief. "Then I won't have to feel your incessant arousal," Warp told Starscream, still oblivious to the female that was now several long feet behind them, but not so far away that she hadn't heard that comment.

If Starscream was normal he would have felt embarrassed. If Skywarp was normal, he wouldn't be talking about such things so blithely. But the Supreme Air Commander was used to Warp's mouth, the invasion of inward thoughts that were twisted into topics of unneeded conversations.

The female began to walk toward them, calmly, too calmly. But Skywarp didn't say anything further. He wouldn't have dared. Not with the internal threats that Starscream issued, and would have carried out.

A great dose of satisfaction came from the lack of Warp's comments, knowing what an achievement it was to shut the Seeker up.

Starscream enjoyed the silence while it lasted.


	26. Trek

Skywarp did what he said he could and more. His modified equipment not only got her on Sunstreaker's overly protected planet, but undetected and unseen. The planet didn't have much oxygen, which meant she was wearing her provided helmet almost constantly. The terrain was flat and barren, a few isolated patches of abundant flora and fungi spread out randomly as if someone was testing something.

When Alexis came across the acres of land that held Earth vegetables, fruits and trees, and healthy plants and shrubberies, she couldn't help but appreciate the way her boots crunched against the thick, healthy grass, the familiar smell of dirt and earth cycling through her breathing mask.

"Keep going."

She wanted to go back to Earth, with TC, with her son, look at everything she had missed, or hadn't taken the time to truly enjoy, which was a lot. She wanted to build a home with Thundercracker, wanted to travel too. Wanted so much all of a sudden that the command to keep going almost washed through the back of her brain unheard.

" _Alexis_."

Sighing, she turned to her ethereal companion and guide. While Starscream was able to remotely broadcast himself now that she had gotten though with a signal enhancer, his form was not solid. She saw a field of prickly wildflowers though his form, the thick stalks swaying in the slight breeze.

He was staring at her, his human form frowning tightly, an exasperated expression making his eyes large. She still felt slightly uncomfortable with Starscream after what Skywarp had said on the space port, wondering yet again if there were other things that Thundercracker hadn't informed her of… like the implications of being bonded to a member of a Trine. There was obviously more to it than a connection between her and TC, something perhaps unwanted.

Alexis had tried to talk it over with Skywarp, as he was easier to converse with, but she didn't. She was stuck with the impression that maybe she didn't need to know. No matter what customs Cybertronians or Trine members had, she wasn't about to let Starscream touch her. He'd already touched her due to the pains of being separated from TC, those strange, terrifying _spark_ pains, or what felt more like heart pains, another reminder of things she and TC really needed to discuss.

Strange though, that she regretted nothing. That really, all she wanted was to hear TC's voice, reassurance, the feel of him against her body, his energy that despite what Starscream said and boasted about, really felt nothing like anyone else's.

"Keep going," Starscream ordered of her again, making it apparent, yet again, that he loathed repeating himself. "The sensory sweep of this area is due to commence in 7 minutes." He looked at her, then focused beyond her shoulder, seeing something she was incapable of. "You need to move." The human Seeker pointed sharply in the opposite direction she was facing. "Half a mile in _that_ direction." His gaze flickered back toward her, what could have been the beginning of a smile lifting up his mouth. "I would suggest running, _now_."

Starscream really didn't need to tell her. Alexis saw the same information on her coolant band that had gotten more upgrades thanks to Skywarp's insistence and Starscream's paranoia. For someone that was in no rush to find his wingmate, he seemed quite committed on the success of her mission.

She nodded her head in confirmation, then took off in the manner as suggested.

* * *

"You need to recharge, Alexis," Skywarp spoke up through their shared com line.

"I'm fine."

"You've been conscious for over 27 hours, a normal human being should…"

She interrupted him, "A couple more hours and then I will rest."

"Stop nagging the female. If she wants to overextend her energy limits that is her decision," Starscream actually spoke up for her, causing her eyes to widen. "The quicker we get this done with, the sooner we can leave."

Okay, that definitely sounded more like him, thinking only for himself. She really should have known better. They'd been traveling for about 2 days, Starscream appearing here and there, usually to warn her of a security droid, mostly to just keep her moving, as if she really needed someone to constantly urge her toward her objective.

Alexis traveled more on her own though, than with him. Another day and she would reach the entrance to Sunstreaker's fortress of a compound. She had to do it all on foot though, as the power cells from the small, portable hover vehicle Skywarp had made for her had been easily tracked, which could have been worse if Warp hadn't been able to calculate where the Bot was, providing her a nearer starting point.

Her 31st birthday was in a few days, a birthday she obviously wasn't going to spend with her son, or her husband, not even a friend. She missed Aaron and TC so much. She felt misplaced and separated and so far beyond her comfort zone. Aaron was safe with Sharaih, she knew that, and she spoke to Aaron whenever she could.

But still.

She was anxious, nervous and plagued with a form of doubt that she would be able to do anything at all. Alexis wasn't even sure that the device that Starscream had provided her with would cut through the security grid that surrounded the Autobot's compound, or even do so undetected. But she had gotten this far, and with the Cons' help, Alexis was trusting them to take her all the way.

* * *

Four more miles and she would reach her destination. The contained planet had turned dark, and she had yet to see one animal or creature, which could account for the destroyed ecosystem of the inside out world, proving that an animal's interaction with a planet could be quite detrimental, if not required for organic existence.

"We should go over things one more time." Starscream appeared suddenly by her side, making her squeak out before she could stop herself. Every time she saw him, he was dressed differently, always fashionably. He was now covered in dark gray with streaks of subtle red, his well fitted pants not as tight as the skin tight gloves and jacket he wore. He blended into the shadows and darkness, the Decepticon emblem on his left shoulder glimmering noticeably.

"Remember, one mistake and you'll either end up captured, dead or.."

"Is there even an _or_? Because dead, well, is _dead._ " She laughed shortly, struck at the absurdity of his words.

His perfect brows lifted, his mouth tightened. He went on as if she said nothing, but periodically glanced at her.

"You will need to connect the nullrod between the…"

"Third and fifth gaps from the bottom," Alexis cut him off before he repeated the entire set of directions again. She had memorized the information a day ago. "Making sure to account for the electric currents that could, if not properly aligned, overload the nullrod and give me the _last_ shock of my life," she joked, smiling up at him as she chuckled. Suddenly everything seemed silly.

Starscream's mouth turned into an even tighter frown, he gave her a long sidelong glance.

"Sarcasm, human?"

Alexis returned his stare. He held onto it, those brilliant eyes of his ascertaining her. He was _always_ studying her. Let him look, let him stare, she didn't care what he was thinking. "You wouldn't want me to say what's really on my mind."

His brows knit together, he blinked slowly, then slowed his pace, coming back alongside her. "I think I'd rather you did."

Alexis stopped in her tracks, her head lowered to the ground before lifting back up, her mouth pushing out what she tried so hard to keep down. She let him have it. "What if I fail?" What if I am killed? What will happen to Aaron? What will happen to TC? Even if I do get through, what then, do I…"

"Quiet," Starscream rasped, his hand making the motion of touching her, only to fade through the round of her right shoulder and then reappear. He frowned at that, his eyes sternly set upon her form. "You _will_ survive. You have survived worse. You even survived _me_." He offered her a sly smile and a chuckle that made some of the tension ease away from her stiff muscles.

"We have accounted for every contingency. You have prepared, you have run through simulations, and you humans have proved to be not only survivors, but overcomers. I have faith that you too, will see this through."

She expected him to make fun of her, to mock her, not motivate. So staring at him, her mouth falling open in a sorta dumbfounded shock, surely, was to be expected.

He grinned at her, even, if she was seeing well, flushed, his bright lavender eyes wide in reaction to her reaction.

Alexis smiled back, forgetting for a moment who he was, what he had done, just so grateful for the encouragement that she had so desperately needed, and prayed for. She knew that God could work through anyone, give answers in forms that were certainly unexpected.

She'd been so overwrought with her own worries and fears that she had actually considered giving up. Not because she wanted to, but because it would have been so much safer. Her son had already lost a father. He could not lose a mother.

"I'm going to survive," Alexis said out loud, repeating what Starscream said, needing to hear herself say it.

"You need to," Starscream affirmed, his tone carrying a curious lilt to it that made her stomach involuntarily flip.

Alexis cursed her physical reaction. He had no right to make his voice sound like that, or be dressed so impeccably when she was worn down, stuck in the same clothes for days.

"For Aaron." She nodded her head, agreeing. But apparently that wasn't what _he_ was getting at.

He took another step closer to her, his expression unreadable, if not a little fierce as he looked down at her. "You know my offer still stands."

She huffed out at that, made the motion of pushing him back only to stop when she remembered his form was insubstantial. He wasn't flirting exactly, no, something worse. This time when her stomach flipped it wasn't pleasant. "I think you truly underestimate how I feel about TC."

His mouth twisted up on the left side, his eyes narrowing. "And I think you _overestimate_ how much he will make you… _feel,_ or for how _long._ "

She chuckled at that boast, because his trying to rile her up was actually just what she needed.

"I will connect the nullrod to the…" Alexis began to repeat the instructions. Disappointment swept over Starscream's features. But they weren't having that conversation. He disappeared, only the silence of the com link swallowing her words.

* * *

Simulations and memorizing plans really didn't account for the real event. She got through Sunstreaker's security grid all right, but not without burns on her hands, not without an unaccounted security droid locating her that she was barley fortunate to destroy before it transmitted her presence.

"Down here." Starscream appeared in front of the hallways she was running through. He pointed to the left, motioning for her to hurry. Just as she turned the corner, a group of mercs passed by. Yes, she was definitely where she needed to be, and yet not quite there. Her coolant band had stopped working, another side effect of her not so perfect disabling of that small portion of security field.

Now she was totally reliant on Starscream. And while she had memorized the compound's structures, Warp's scans had obviously not been as detailed as believed.

"You're hurt." Starscream stared down at her burned hands, which weren't as bad as they looked, but they stung terribly. "I told you to make sure you grounded the cable before attaching it to the…"

She frowned, his criticism making her even more frustrated. "I _know_. But it slipped."

"Slipped?"

"I was nervous. I was sweating. I wasn't prepared for this." Alexis swept her hands around her. The compound was a vast maze that was riddled with corridors, rooms and even levels that hadn't been accounted for. The size of it had put her off kilter.

"You need to regulate your emotions or you will fail," Starscream informed her with a frown that had become permanent in the last hour or so, now increasing in displeasure.

She made a face at him, managed to stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Thanks for _that_ advice, but I can no more regulate my emotions than Spock could admit he loves without the aid of spore plants."

His body became stiff at the mention of the fictional character's name, his lids narrowed.

"I do not know this… Spock," he spoke tersely, sounding offended.

"And I can't turn myself _off_."

"Apparently not." His dark eyes licked over her body. His naturally rigid form became even more tense when he held his hands behind his back. "You have exactly 3.23 minutes before the security team sweeps this area." He looked down at her hands, sounding unnecessarily hostile. "I suggest you bandage your wounds and continue exactly…" his form crackled and dimmed, and while he continued to speak, his words were no longer in English but Cybertronian.

Things only got _easier_ after that.

Only not really.

* * *

Alexis was fascinated by the Cybertronian language, but at the moment, she detested it. She didn't know what Starscream was saying and she really needed to, and as he evolved into using strange gesticulations and motions of body, she didn't know whether to burst into tears of despair or laugh until she couldn't breathe.

Neither which would have gone over well, seeing how she didn't want to be discovered.

She had already had two close calls. Still hadn't seen to her damaged hands, and had the beginning of a headache that was made no better when Starscream made a stopping motion and indicated her to flatten against the corner of the nearest wall.

And then he disappeared entirely.

Alexis was on her own.

* * *

Hours later, Alexis was, now willing to admit, lost.

And anxious, and paranoid, and yes, her eyes were wet with her bitterness, with her hopelessness, with the tears of the discouraged. Calming herself, she took a couple of deep breaths, continued to pray hard and fierce, needing clarity and direction.

Fifteen minutes later Alexis found a room that looked familiar. From there, step by slow step, she found where she needed to be. Only where TC was being held was closed off and secured. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, all Alexis could do was wait.

And wait.

Hours later someone came down the long hall. When they opened the door she had been watching, Alexis slipped inside. She got that far undetected, but no longer, tripping over something unseen beneath her feet, the mech she had followed inside easily noticed her.

His optics lit up, a large weapon forming from his small wrist. But before he could react, Alexis pulled out her staff and extended and armed it, throwing it up and forward, managing to hit the mech's unguarded knee plate. He convulsed, cursed and pitched downward. Alexis charged forward, grabbed her fallen staff and plunged it in the groove along his shoulder and neck, forcing him offline.

She had an audience, several severe looking mechs watching her from behind barred cells, those that still had their optics.

"Thundercracker," she stated simply, now highly focused.

The largest mech pointed to the end of another long dark hall.

* * *

Thundercracker wasn't even in a cell, but tied down to a large metal table, what looked to be a medic performing who knows what on him. Her stomach knotted, anger and fear and fury blinding her like nothing she had experienced since almost killing that mech that may have been responsible for Airaih's death.

She fired on the mech, kept on firing, even when his chassis turned black and began to burn, even when his optics began to sizzle. It was only when the medic fell to the floor that she came back to herself, when she recognized that he was begging… to let him live, begging for mercy, from _her_.

"End him or restrain him." Starscream's voice came inside her right ear again. Proving that the remote cameras on her helmet were still transmitting, and that he had repaired at least their comlines.

Alexis did neither. Keeping her gun on the medic, she gave him a set of firm directions. He followed them precisely, not doubting her intent if he failed to comply.

* * *

"I know you are here. Come out, Thundercracker. And we can _talk_."

She didn't expect to hear Sunstreaker before she saw him, but hearing his voice was just as startling as seeing him in person.

Getting the medic to free Thundercracker had been the easy part, getting TC moving again, had not been. She didn't know what had been done to Thundercracker, but he was out of it. He recognized her all right, but his reaction, while at any other time would have been reciprocated, only proved to be quite a large problem. And while Alexis supposed she should be grateful that he knew who she was through his delirium, getting sparked on the table that he had been tormented on was not on the list of places she wanted to be intimate with him.

Starscream remotely helped her get TC more coherent. But Thundercracker was hurt and damaged, even his vocals were hindered by a cringable rattle that made his voice almost unrecognizable.

Sunstreaker was now aware of TC's escape, or had been expecting it, and now they were stuck in what appeared to be a storage compartment, TC still trying to revive himself, Alexis trying to help. Which really wasn't made easy with the way his digits kept rubbing against her, his large mouth pressing against her body.

To come so far and to be caught, it really sucked. To be so near TC and for him to not understand the seriousness of the situation was terrifying. She was not accustomed to seeing TC _not_ in control, or so unaware.

But she wouldn't have come so far without the Seekers' help, maybe wouldn't even have found Thundercracker. Alexis still couldn't believe how much they did for her, especially Starscream.

If she lived through this she was definitely going to thank them.

If they lived through this she was going to lock TC in his quarters and do what her dreams tormented her with.

But for now.

For now…

They would survive.


	27. Displace

Sunstreaker hated his life, or more accurately, the existence he found himself stuck in. Forced into self-exile after his brother's death, he contemplated ending everything, his reality suddenly bleak and incomprehensible.

The female had betrayed him with her physical state, giving him no option but to expel her from his life. The idea of her carrying life inside her in the form of her husband, utterly intolerable.

But not as intolerable as trying to live _without_ her. He had made a mistake, one that he found he could not correct without sacrificing the last crumb of his self worth.

The separation brought with it an indescribable pain, both physical and mental, an added torment to the loss of Sideswipe that made the growing manifestation of his brother's consciousness an indiscernible transition of self that evolved and grew and came into existence long before his own awareness.

And by the time he was aware of it, the duality of self was not odd, but so much a part of what he was now that sometimes Sunny didn't know if his sudden driven purpose was his or Sides, or both.

Optimus had made several speeches of the futility of seeking revenge. But after years of living, breathing, and planning it, he knew that it could also be a lifeline. A reason to live. To prepare. To go on. To even find clarity.

He'd gotten revenge on the mercs that TC had hired. Mercs that made him use _involved_ methods for them to even divulge who had hired them. Finding out their master was Thundercracker had taken almost two years. Two years of trickery and subterfuge, of bribes and well-honed persuasion. More years after that to track down each and every one of the human's sentinels that served the absent but over prepared Seeker.

But at least it kept Sunstreaker busy. At least every layer of his plan kept him alive with tangible anticipation that was a satisfactory replacement for his loss of will to live.

He wanted his brother back. He wanted the female.

And it only took him five long years of research, of traveling to places both banned by Optimus and warned off by Megatron, until he found out how to have both.

* * *

By the time Sunstreaker was made aware of _how_ Thundercracker had escaped his confinement, he was far too ecstatic to contemplate things rationally. The difficulties of trying to see her again, the trials he had faced trying to reach her only to have her show up on her own.

Once the shock of her arrival wore off, Sunny only knew one thing. He needed to separate the female from the Seeker immediately. A Seeker he would have dealt with much sooner if he had known it would bring _her_.

He had one of his more trustworthy peons take care of the female. He had garnered quite the following in his pursuit for revenge, some willingly, some coerced, and some because they were just as crazy as he. Sunny would have taken care of removing the female himself, but he had things to get in order before he saw her again, things he had readied for but never believed it would be so soon.

Sunny had been angry at her for so long. He had nurtured his resentment, cultured his hatred. And now that she was here… he was _excited_. He was ridiculously unsettled. And Sunny didn't think about the fact that he didn't even feel her presence, far too gone in his heady anticipation.

" _Not that one, the other one,"_ Sideswipe informed him, making Sunny drop the small rod and switch it out for a modified bio-gun that he had already equipped a good year ago during one of his more impatient days of preparation.

His hands were shaking. His tank felt empty, an ache spreading through his body that made his intakes strain. Sides was prattling about something or another, wanting him to hurry. He made sure to slow down, wanting everything perfect, ignoring his brother's internal presence that on most days was beneficial, but now only agitated both himself and his brother from his lack of cooperation.

Just because a fragment of his brother was stuck inside of him, didn't mean he was any more compliant than before. And this day, more than any other, he wanted his brother to shut down and shut off, to leave him _alone_.

Sideswipe died. He forced the female on him. What came next he wanted badly, without his brother's inward prodding that jerked him about and left him feeling less than himself.

" _But I am you."_

"You are, and you aren't," Sunny said out loud, his words rushed, his tone frazzled. He knew his brother sensed his high anxiety, which should have had him backing off. Now his brother's consciousness was loud and persistent, his voice gnawing away at his tolerance.

" _We are each other,"_ Sides unnecessarily added.

"She isn't going anywhere," he snapped, trying not to think about her. Because slag, when he _did_ his perspective became askew. His work room was a mess, making finding the rest of the necessary items a hassle all its own. He threw things off a shelf, pushed the tablets to the side, finally finding what he needed stuck behind a crate of nova grenades.

" _And neither are you. Get the fraggin' scanner and go. You want to see her as much as I. Admit it,"_ Sideswipe urged his brother with growing impatience. Knowing full well that confirming that was entirely unnecessary. He already knew. He knew _everything_.

Grabbing the last of what he needed, Sunstreaker slowly walked out of his quarters, no longer getting any of those looks as he continued down the long corridors of his ship. His crew was now used to his bouts of conversations and arguments with his long dead brother.

" _It's not too late, we can still…"_ Sides suddenly decided to waver, his caution unexpected and definitely not solicited.

"Shut the frag up, Sides," he snarled.

" _Even if this works, she will not…_ "

"Nothing will stop me now, not even you."

" _I can_."

"You won't."

" _I might. Remember what we discussed. Perhaps she will want to…_ "

"Death has made you foolish," he cut his brother off yet again. Sunny was not in the mood to argue, not now, not when she was so close. He had other things he wanted to think about, things that had kept him awake during needed recharge cycles, that also made even his brother startlingly uncomfortable, which only heightened the sensation of his thoughts that always escalated into more.

" _And yet I still understand things that you do not._ "

"Like?" he huffed out, not really caring.

" _Like love isn't a prison_."

"This _love_ is torture, is punishment. Don't think you are some expert because you happened to experience _sentiment_ before you got yourself killed. Love is just another sensation invented by the humans as an excuse to procreate."

" _As if they need another reason._ "

"Exactly." They finally agreed. Both recalling the time they spent on earth. Even with their planet taken over by the Decepticons, the humans had still managed to mate like the kindor beasts on Ree Seven.

* * *

The female had been placed in the specified room as directed, unconscious, not moving, laid down on a mattress. She was smaller than he remembered, but that might have been due to the way she had curled into her body. Now that he was in the room with her, Sunstreaker felt her energy in a thick rush of awareness. For a moment, he couldn't even move, couldn't think. He was paralyzed with sudden fear of what was to come next, the possibility for error, for miscalculation, the idea that maybe none of it would even work.

Sunstreaker put those worries down to Sideswipe, ignoring the revoiced objections. He didn't fail. And being with her again, after so long… he'd almost forgotten what it was like, would have forgotten if not for the dreams, his or Sides, it didn't matter, they were basically the same, although his were far more detailed.

He could smell her even better now, the familiar scent of sweat, the startling fragrance of her body. He couldn't breathe in deep enough. There would be no staying away, only getting closer. Sunny felt hot, felt a festering need. Felt something else that made his servos clench, made Sides internally back off, recognizing his unwavering resolve.

There was truly no preparing for _her_. And now that both _felt_ her, neither would stop. His brother may have objected, but he wanted her as much as he. No matter what the cost to the female. They were finally in agreement, blinded by their rapaciousness, by the nearness of the female.

His spark pulsed soundly, thrashing against his chamber, his subsystems reacted all at once, a chaos of overloaded sensation that left him struggling with his intakes, the air sweet, delicious, intimately feminine.

Sunstreaker activated his human holo-form without another thought, grabbed the bio-gun and aimed it at the female and then fired it. The scanner on his wrist lit up and beeped, indicating success.

He would wait until she woke. Allow her next actions to determine what happened next.

Only because he promised Sideswipe. And keeping that promise silenced Sides, for now.

* * *

She'd been unconscious for over an hour now. It had taken him far longer than necessary to move closer to her, to sit down on the mattress beside her, to roll her body around, to touch her. Her hair, her neck, her empty belly, the slimness of her waist, her hips, the fullness of her mouth. She wasn't that different, she was so much the same, youthful and vibrant, so pale, astonishingly beautiful, her hair different and yet not unbecoming. He pulled her closer to him, brought her leg over his hip, pressed his mouth against the curve of her neck, closing his eyes as he listened to her breathe, the soft crescendo of her heart vibrating in gentle little thumps against his ribcage.

He felt sick. His stomach clenched and turned. He wanted to be closer. He wanted to move away. His spark pangs had stopped entirely, the absence of that intermittent years long pain a starling conclusion that left him even more determined.

She shouldn't have felt like Thundercracker, her energy signature distinctively mutilated by that of a Seeker. His skin wouldn't stop crawling, his body turning numb from the backlash of her modified energy that even as it repelled, made him want to cover and press against her, purge her of the Seeker's claim.

He rebelled against himself, against what she represented, made himself stay where he was, silent and still, intent on her awakening.

* * *

Sensing she was waking up, Sunstreaker moved himself away from her, sitting on the floor in front of her mattress.

She woke with a gasp, with a moan of pain as she used her damaged hands to sit up before jumping to her feet when she noticed she wasn't alone. Alexis stared at him. Watched as he got up and moved closer to her.

She didn't move away as he had predicted, but barreled right for him only to sway heavily before nearly falling to the ground. The female swallowed hard, closed her eyes and took a loud breath. Her eyes flashed back open, targeting him.

"You must be in a terrible amount of pain to afflict so much on others," she suddenly spoke, her words hoarse and soft, but none the less surprising.

"Pain doesn't begin to describe it," he shot right back at her, actually not feeling argumentative, but needing to speak the truth.

Green eyes narrowed. Alexis licked her mouth, took a hard swallow. Her hands went down her body, settling on where her staff should have been. Her hand sharply fell away, her gaze on him turning hard before they swept around the room they were in.

"Release me." Her words were not a request.

"This section of my ship has a one way entrance that has now been removed. We are now inaccessible."

She turned her gaze back on him, bit her lip hard. "Then how do I get out?"

"There is no need to get out in order to go somewhere else." He took a step closer to her, watching her watch him. "And I have decided. _We_ will do."

" _We_?" She cringed, as if the word was incomprehensible.

"You, and I, and, well, _we_."

" _As in us,"_ Sides spoke up within him.

"As in you didn't have the tank for this, and she is mine," he spat at his brother.

He really didn't mean to say that last part out loud. And he didn't even know he had stepped closer to the female until her fist came flying at him, knocking him soundly against the side of his jaw. Blood gushed from his mouth, from a deep scratch that formed from that irremovable inhuman ring of hers that wrapped around her digit.

She had hit him on Renth upon seeing again, and just like that time his body reacted, soundly disturbed by her momentarily brutality upon his person.

"I am not yours," Alexis said, her words rigid and strong. She was looking at him with that curiosity of hers, conflicted with a show of what may have been concern and remorse, but still ready to defend herself.

"I would have let _you_ change me, restrain me, _own_ me," Sunny spoke to her in a rasp of truthfulness, his admittance making him obscenely aware of the desire that squirmed beneath the tight binding of his human flesh. "I won't kill Thundercracker. I don't need to anymore," he let her know.

Alexis was so tense, her eyes paranoid and distrustful. She was breathing deeply, patches of his blood splattered on her dainty wrist. She was waiting for him to react. Prepared to fight. Her desire for an escalation of violence excited him.

"You've hurt him. Done things to him," Alexis said to him, her voice accusatory and hollow, as if she was unwilling to put her anger on display, even though her physical actions had just reinforced it. She frowned deeply, took a long breath of air and caught her eyes with his own. She was trying to be reasonable, he realized, her soft voice unexpectedly soothing. "I'm truly sorry for everything you have gone through, but that's no excuse for what you have done." Her eyes drifted to the blood dripping from his mouth, the cut on his lower lip. "Why am I here? Why now?" She had always been too empathetic, even in the worst of circumstances. A weakness that had been exploitable.

"You really don't get it," Sunstreaker snarled. He was bonded to her. She was _his_. And yet he was unsettled all over again, her concern for the Seeker making a terrible pang ignite in his chest that he wanted to rip out and burn. His fisted hand involuntarily pressed against his pounding chest. Alexis flinched at his burst of anger, even took a step back. "Not a slagging thing. I hate that Seeker. I have _always_ hated him." He didn't want her pity, but he did expect her to understand. "He took you from me. He blocked you. You don't know who he is. You know nothing! What would your _son_ think of his mother if he knew she has given herself to the mech that put out orders to have his father terminated?"

"Don't bring Aaron into this. You have no right to speak of him," she spoke tightly, her tone once more hostile. That he could handle. Her fingers kept curling into her palm, head lowered, mouth pressed tightly together.

"Do you really think your Vildan died _naturally_? That he just happened to fall into a Decepticon trap? He did die. Because of _you_. Because of _him_. Because you never pay attention to what you should." He was lying, or more accurately, augmenting the truth. Her expression was delightedly expressive, marred by what he believed to be doubt.

This was not how he saw seeing her again playing out, and while he may have unrealistically painted their reunion with more action and less talking, she seemed far more intent on getting away from him and getting back to the loathsome Seeker.

She was selfish. She was blind. And he suddenly had the intense desire to hurt her, damage her, make her question Thundercracker, anything if it meant she saw him a little more than she seemed willing to. He wanted her to suffer. Because he had for so long. Because once upon a time they had suffered together, and it had been intimately glorious.

But Alexis didn't seem to be listening to him. Her expression had turned quizzical, and suddenly her head was darting around as if she couldn't fathom where she was, her hands going to her head as she dropped slowly to her knees. He caught her halfway, slowly lowering her down to the ground with him.

And when he kissed her, his tongue invading, his hands clenching around her and keeping her put, Sunstreaker didn't relent, not even when she remained dazed and inert, not even when she began to struggle, trying to push him off her.

Alexis went still again, so still that he pulled back, but not before pushing her against the floor, keeping her in place as he stared in awe at the female. She was solid. She was _real_. Years meant nothing to him, or they hadn't until he parted from the female. Time had become another torture that his brother and the female had inflicted on him.

"What have you done?" She didn't struggle. Didn't make an attempt to get away. His mouth gently pressed against her forehead, moving down the side of her face only to press against her throat, his tongue pressed against that lavish pulse. He smiled against her, then scooted back and got back on his feet, pulling her up as well.

He dragged her along, clinging to her arm, careful not to touch Alexis' damaged hands, taking the bewildered female through the specially equipped room.

"I am going to take you to where _you_ need _me_ ," Sunny told her cheerfully, shutting down that part of himself that wanted to throw her on that mattress and take her whether she was aware of him or not. He idly wondered if things would have been different between them if he had never interacted with Rim, if she never allowed that Vildan to rut her. "The dizziness was only the first part. You must be hearing your others by now. Don't worry though, it'll clear once your identifier has honed in on the correct universe," he promised her. He was having fun, more than that, he was enjoying himself, in a manner Sunny had thought himself incapable of outside the violence of his revenge.

"Others?" She swallowed loudly. Her eyes were deceptively clear, but her words came out with difficulty. "You _did_ say there was no way out of this room, but…" Alexis managed weakly, trying to understand when there was no way she could.

"Correct," he confirmed. He grinned down at her, momentarily distracted. Her helmet had long been removed, the jacket as well, she had a tear in her shirt, a hole on her pant's leg that exposed one of her knees. Gaining access to him could not have been easy for Alexis, and yet she managed. He'd almost forgotten about her ingenuity and fortitude, but that was not what had his intakes working to maximum when he was alone and _thinking_ of her.

He continued, uncaring if she actually understood or even heard him, his eyes still hovering on her female form. His heart was racing, far too fast, and he almost wished she continued to speak to him, the sound of her voice obscenely rousing. "You know how you humans always believed that you were alone in the galaxy? Well obviously that wasn't true. And neither is the fact that your universe is the _only_ universe."

Sunny stopped in front of a deceptively simple looking crate that held the answer to so much. Small numbers were illuminated on its activated display. Sunstreaker had stolen the device from a long abandoned civilization, on a planet that he'd figured out appeared in their galaxy for an hour and thirty minutes, once every 385 days. He'd thought the planet Na a myth until actually witnessing it solidify right where he'd calculated, in a sector that no one bothered to look. He had to make it through an asteroid field, long abandoned space mines, not to mention he had to _silence_ seven of his mechs before his return.

He had lost so much. His brother, his life, what had once been his purpose. Sacrifices meant nothing to him now, if he got what he wanted.

The planet's technology wasn't even outlawed as no one believed it existed. And while it took him a while to figure the Displacer out, he finally had it working the way he wanted beyond its default settings. They would combine with their other selves, become a part of them. It had taken him a long time to shift through all the available versions of the female in order to find one that was to his liking. The universe that the other Alexis resided in was both unfamiliar and yet highly coveted. His Alexis had already been implanted with the identifier chip, which would synchronize her self with the other, merging her with the Alexis from Universe 12786, merging him with that Sunstreaker, with a Bot that still had a _brother_ , a _future_ and _her_.

He knew from testing the thing that it was disorienting. It could take a while for the chip to find the right universe for a new user on its first activation. Until then, you were stuck on a roller-coaster ride of shared consciousnesses of your other selves, whispers of what was and what could have been, what never was.

This wasn't what he wanted. But Thundercracker had altered the female, tainted her, even blocked Sunny's bond. He couldn't feel her like he used to, not in the manner that was necessary.

He and Alexis would leave this detestable existence behind. Find and become those others. He would remove her from interference, from interlopers. And while Alexis would not have the self awareness he would have, she would still be there, in her, for him.

He was ready.


	28. Mayhem

Starscream was filled with concern. Concern was nothing new for the Seeker, as he was quite prone to anxiety and paranoia, and all those other debilitating emotions that he had been forced to manage as conquering them had proved impossible. He usually felt like this when Megatron was on the same terrain as he was, when he heard his master's voice, when Megatron's implacable orders were relayed that was always a prelude to an arduous near impossible assignment.

But he was not worried about himself, nor Thundercracker, who was once again out of it now that Alexis had been taken from him. His wingmate was sitting in the middle of the hallway, arms wrapped tightly around his chassis, his wings folded out and up, a sharp contrast to the vulnerable position he was in.

Starscream had followed the female's journey across the Bot's desolate planet. It wouldn't have taken so long if the transport board that Skywarp had created for the female didn't draw unwanted attention, the energy source magnified by the planet's atmosphere.

Alexis had become withdrawn and self-contained after her arrival on the planet, focused on finding Thundercracker. But she was prone to distraction and to that curiosity of hers that would have served her well if she had been an Autobot. The Supreme Air Commander kept her on task, kept her moving, only able to travel with her for short intervals, his holo-form distorted even with the signal enhancer that Alexis had taken with her.

They didn't have long to prepare for Sunstreaker's planet. A planet that was even less user-friendly than anticipated. And while they managed to track the security drones and forces, and thus have the female evade them, he continued to feel uneasy every time any came near her.

Things only got worse after she penetrated the Autobot's base. The female damaged herself, his holo-form went on the fritz, and Skywarp wouldn't stop prattling about the danger the female was in, managing to escalate his anxiety into a form of panic that had that worry, that unfamiliar fear become a revelation of _whom_ exactly he was worried about. For once it wasn't himself.

The female's audio and video relays were still working, until she was trapped and separated from TC, then taken into a room that he only saw a glimpse of before that transmission crashed. And while Starscream had gotten his holo-form more stable thanks to a signal boost from TC, it was still taking far longer than necessary for his dazed, still far too confused Trinemate to figure out how he could enter the section that had become inaccessible shortly after Alexis had been taken inside.

"This is taking too long," Thundercracker finally spoke up. He looked down at Starscream's human form, his mouth tight and ill-humored. His wingmate may not have been at optimal efficiency, but that didn't stop the hostility from pouring off him like lightning. "Go get her." TC could have gone after her himself, but he would have had to relay his energy reserves to the holo-form, which with his weakened state, would have rendered him useless in minutes.

Starscream stretched his neck, rolled his shoulders, then stepped forward, for once, ignoring the instinct for that delightful retort.

Unlike Skywarp's attempt at teleportation, he made it through unhindered. What little optimism he had died a quick death upon his far too easy access.

* * *

Their link was open. The three Seekers were aware of one another like they had not been in some time. They were inundated by TC's pain that came through sharply with patches of what he had gone through, a horror show of tribulations that Sunstreaker was the central figure. There was anguish from TC, uncertainty, the overpowering and far too tangible feeling of separation. The female plagued his wingmate with starling sentiment and feeling, a jarring contrast to his usual austere, impassive self.

TC struggled to contain himself, but continued to fail, his thoughts wild and filled with that cold logic that kept the chaos of his mind an orderly, well-ordered sufferance that was categorized by priorities and needs.

Starscream could have easily used TC's sudden vulnerability to push inside his processor, to glean data and tidbits and experiences, to see _her_ , to see _them_ , to see anything he wanted. But Starscream was too preoccupied. And TC's hostility that multiplied upon that thought became a dangerous tangible pang of resentment that kept him at bay, and that forced him to continue.

When he turned into another long stretch of a hallway, Starscream recognized that he was no longer on the planet, but Sunstreaker's ship. And when he passed by the first open room, one that curiously enough was his now puny human size, he reversed course and peered inside as he waited for Skywarp to remotely disable an energy field that blocked his forward path.

Data pads were strewed all over the floor. Several holo-monitors lit up yet idle. But that wasn't all that was there. A bed rested in the middle of the small room, abandoned clothes left on the floor and on the bedspread, an elaborate brush on the night stand, other stray articles that looked expensive and abandoned, some abused.

The room had the look of having been used, and often. But no longer by its intended recipient. He walked farther into the quarters, feeling as if something important was about to be revealed.

He made his way to the computer terminals that lined the far wall, covering what had once been a vast view port. The screens became active when he approached. There were images and videos of Sideswipe looking different, looking very much the same, even one where he and his brother were among the Decepticons, another motion capture of them with Optimus Prime and the Autobots on Earth with a bunch of youngling humans.

The images continue to change, imprinted by a very particular coding on the corner of the screen, coding the Seeker had seen before, but not in a long time.

The last terminal refused to activate. Skywarp talked him through it, allowing him to turn the device on without damaging the data within. The Seeker wasn't surprised by what he found. Alexis, more Alexis. And just like Sideswipe, she was the same, she was entirely different. She was on Earth, then so very far from it. She was with Autobots. She was with the Decepticons. She was working with both. She was so young… she didn't even exist.

" _You know what he's doing, don't ya_?" Warp spoke up, proving just how open their link was. The Trinemates had not had such a closeness of minds in a long while. Skywarp was able to see what Starscream saw so clearly without invitation or adjustment.

"Things that even Megatron didn't allow us to fool with," Starscream observed, highly discouraged.

" _There was that one time_ ," Warp felt the need to remind him.

"And you remember how that went."

" _Unfortunately I can't forget. You could have warned me,_ " Skywarp groused, his agitation and blame apparent in the tone of his projected thoughts.

"Then you wouldn't have learned a valuable lesson."

" _I know,_ " Skywarp verbally pouted. " _Volunteering is for the suicidal or desperate_."

Starscream recorded some of the data, transmitting it to his wingmates. TC stayed sullen and silent, highly focused on what Starscream was uncovering.

" _Go back_ ," Thundercracker suddenly spoke up.

Starscream waved his hand in the air. The images on the monitor went backwards, the replay slowing.

" _He seems quite focused on this one_ ," TC identified, his voice gruff and frazzled even through their link.

"Indeed. And it can't be coincidence that this lines up with all that data he recorded on that other Sideswipe," Starscream let them know, trying to ignore the frustration coming from Thundercracker that always increased whenever he spoke, most certainly when he happened to think of _her_. TC was enraged by Starscream's behavior toward the female, by his now unbidden thoughts, by things that even the Supreme Air Commander had yet to understand and truly had no need to.

" _But how's he going to do this exactly?_ " Skywarp wanted to know, interrupting Starscream's thought process effectively. " _What exactly does he think he is going to do? No one has been able to access the multi-verse since the destruction of…_ "

"Blah, blah," Starscream interrupted, even though he too had seen Megatron destroy that device that made such travel possible. And it hadn't been because of how Warp returned, but something that the High Lord Protector had witnessed for himself in one of the universes that alarmed _him_. "Sunstreaker believes it's possible. Didn't spend this amount of time on it if it isn't some way doable."

" _Alexis is nearby. I feel her now._ " TC shivered, his words buried with concentration. His wingmate collectedly relaid further directions, not letting them behold the stress that made his spark swell. " _Warp has disabled the field. Go_."

The Seeker took one last look at the screens, knowing that Sunstreaker wanted him to see what they were displaying, to deter him, to delay him… to _taunt_ him.

He rushed out of the room, feeling as if things had gone terribly wrong.

* * *

He found her alone. Alexis was leaning precariously against a wall, eyes closed, recent tears still wetting her cheeks. Starscream got closer, brushed the hair out of her face, trying to get her to respond.

Nothing. Only the renewal of displeasure that TC broadcasted when he touched the female. Thundercracker's ill-temper multiplied when his fingers rested against her pale flesh, when his eyes took in her small form. Her clothes were ripped and torn, weapons and tools removed, her hands still raw and blistering. His gut knotted, he felt queasy and at odds. He bent down to pick her up, ignoring the warning from TC.

Alexis shimmered out of existence, only to rematerialize.

That definitely qualified as _wrong_.

The air seemed to shift, well-calibrated instinct had Starscream turning and bending to the side, his hands closing around a just thrust blade.

"I leave for just a moment, and this is what I come back to." Sunstreaker snarled, wild eyes flashing down to the long knife that the Seeker had caught at the heavy expense of letting Alexis go. "Which one are you?" The Bot's gaze swept bitterly down the Supreme Commander's human self before focusing on Alexis' inert form. He huffed with disdain. "Frag that. It doesn't matter." He twisted the blade out of Starscream's grasp, managing to slice both his hands. Blood sprayed; his flesh stung. "Get _away_ from _her!_ " The Autobot demanded.

Starscream blocked the fist that came flying at his face, caught the human bot's wrist, twisting the knife forcefully out of his hand. He took two steps forward, smashing his own fist against Sunstreaker's unprotected throat, effectively bringing him to his knees. The Bot choked and struggled, tried to get up. Starscream twisted his body around, kicking out with his left leg. The Autobot managed to catch his foot, smirking all the while as he used the momentum of the Seeker's attack to throw him over and to the side where his shoulder smashed against the nearest wall.

Black spots jutted in his vision, the coppery taste of blood lining his tongue. He swayed but did not falter. But by the time he recovered, Sunstreaker had disabled his holo-form. He picked the female up as he held onto some unidentifiable apparatus in his left hand, another energy field growing between them.

"Frag this universe." Sunstreaker suddenly smiled, as if the great revelation was to come. He pressed down on the rod in his hand, looked down at the female who was still unresponsive. A flicker of what may have been concern crossed along his face that was swiftly replaced with manic resolve. "Frag you all," he whispered as he brushed Alexis' hair far too gently out of her eyes, an act that was at odds with the enmity that he projected. His optics flashed back down toward Starscream. He grinned, triumphant. "But most of all, Frag you!"

Vibrations pulsed out of the rod.

Sunstreaker and Alexis disappeared.

* * *

"This isn't fragging possible," Skywarp said for the umpteenth time. It took an entire day for them to gain access to Sunstreaker's ship, which wouldn't have happened at all if Warp didn't happen to have the proper tools, which ended up being flanx acid and modified incendiary devices.

"It's possible," TC spoke up, far more coherent than he had been for some time, but that did not help with his foul mood. "Now fix it already so that I can _find_ her."

Warp looked down at the damaged Displacer. It was burned, still smoking, and somehow still functioning, a thick vibration emanating off its nearly intact casing. He finished his diagnostics, the information relayed to a holographic screen that popped out from his wristguard.

"I've heard of these things, never actually seen one of the originals though. They are a rumor. You don't _fix_ rumors!" Skywarp tried to reason, his vocals hindered by exasperation and doubt.

"Today you _are_ going to," Thundercracker spoke quietly but urgently.

Warp looked up at TC, bent his kneeplates and stood to his peds, his optics returning back to the device that was already proving a difficulty. "Yeah, great. That's s _imple,_ " he groused as he finished cleaning off the apparatus, flicking away a broken and burned corner. The Displacer had survived the explosives that had been meant to destroy it upon the Autobot's exit, but it was damaged. "We are looking at theoretical technology, where do I even start?"

"Sunstreaker kept records of everything. Start there," TC ordered with a sense of desperation, his vocals firm and unrelenting, his focus so acute that it was working toward disruptive. He returned with a batch of data pads, thrust them at his wingmate who had no recourse but to take them all.

"He erased everything," Warp complained. Some of the data pads fell out of his grip, tumbling near the Displacer. He glanced over a couple of the tablets, stopping at one in particular for several long moments. He frowned, shook his head at TC. "There is nothing…"

"We have a copy."

"It's encrypted."

"Warp?"

"What?"

"If you can decrypt one of my storage cylinders, you can _easily_ decrypt _simple_ Autobot tech."

"Yeah, but…"

"B _ut_ …"

Warp made a face, his dissatisfaction ripe and near intolerable. "I just don't want to screw up again. The last time I messed with this kind of technology I almost lost my mind," Skywarp reminded them, his vocals suddenly affected by what were very unpleasant memories.

"Frankly that might be an improvement," Starscream couldn't help but pipe up with the most obvious retort, interrupting their conversation. He almost longed for the days when the two didn't get along, when Warp was nothing but a mouthpiece, and TC had been tedious and restraining, but at least he'd been _contained_.

Skywarp gave him a look, still picking up his thoughts with ease. "Says the afthole. And if Megatron finds out…"

Starscream crossed his arms across his cockpit, shook his head. He tried not to think of the female. Didn't allow himself to focus on the terror of concern that may have been his, but was probably more TC's. There was guilt as well. From the things he could have prevented, from everything he could have stopped. The misgivings were highly repugnant. "Megatron _always_ finds out. Do this and I'll make sure you don't deal with him alone."

" _That_ does not make me feel better."

"Do it, Warp, or I'll inform Megatron myself," Starscream barked out.

Skywarp knew he spoke the truth, and still he responded sluggishly, making his way to his tools with careful consideration.

"Facing Megatron would probably be easier at this point," Skywarp finally voiced, not feeling threatened by Starscream's words, but busy with identifying what choices he had. He believed the female was gone, irretrievable. Warp was riddled with an uncommon pragmatic reasoning that led to disappointment and sadness and a distance of mind from his wingmate's, unwilling to take on their vexation.

Skywarp being the _calm_ one, never led to good things. As if taking a cue, Warp suddenly perked up, even smiled broadly at the two, suddenly smug with satisfaction. "I do this, and I want a favor from _both_ of you."

"You do this and you can have anything you want," TC assured.

Warp lit up, turning to Starscream. He waited.

" _One_ favor, within reason," the Seeker capitulated. "Anything to make TC stop with his constant, persistent hostility." He glared at TC, let his wingmate know just how displeased he was with _him_. "I was _not_ the one who discarded the female," the Air Commander spat out, needing to place the blame where it was due. He brought the female to the planet. He was not the one that got captured. He'd been blinded by her determination. Going into battle was so natural for the Seeker that he didn't even consider the female's obvious failings, her vulnerability, her weakness, her humanity. Or just how much Alexis had afflicted the Autobot. TC had known of Sunstreaker though. "Who let her _suffer_."

He expected retaliation from TC. He did not expect him to agree.

This closeness of minds was starting to depress Starscream.

* * *

"I've got it," Warp announced two days, three hours and fifteen minutes later. The outer casing of the module had been taken apart and put back together with what Skywarp said were better parts. The device still gave off a constant buzz of energy, signifying its activity. "But something is wrong."

As if enough things hadn't been going wrong. As if they didn't have to deal with so much already. Starscream didn't know what he was still doing there. Why was he staying? Why couldn't he leave?

" _Well_?" Starscream was the one that had to ask.

"He's changed the base programing."

"How?" TC asked before Starscream could, his impatience clear. Thundercracker had stayed with Warp throughout the entire repairs, leaving Starscream to clean up and get rid of the mess, the security forces, and the would be interlopers.

"Well, traditionally, when you travel to another universe, you stay, well you," Warp began to explain, all the while polishing the new chassis of the Displacer. "Meaning, theoretically, there would be two of you, which depending on who you are could be a terrifying prospect. Not to mention the danger of meeting yourself. Supposedly if one does, it could rupture the time space…"

So few were aware of Skywarp's brilliance, his uncanny knack for inventions, his lust for new devices. Warp had taken out more than a few of his enemies just from their failure to recognize him for what he was. He was not to be underestimated, something even Starscream could forget sometimes with Warp's preferred puerile, carefree view on life.

"Yeah, yeah, get to what's changed already," Starscream cut in. He didn't need _everything_ explained.

Skywarp stood to his peds, wiping particles of dust off his servos. He frowned tightly, took the flask of High-grade that TC handed him and took a large swig, then another.

"Now it's set that you merge with the other you," Skywarp finally announced.

"That sounds delightful," Starscream said with abundant sarcasm.

"Perhaps for you. You always did love yourself," Warp responded readily. "But I couldn't see such a state of _being_ be anything short of calamitous. He modified Alexis' setting in totality." He continued to speak quickly, excited at his discovery. "He has done something to bury her consciousness, to render her nothing more than a spectator of events, if _that_." He frowned, his tone softening as he had the sudden realization of just how much danger Alexis was in. He liked the female. She was strange, but she did think he was funny. "He must hate her so, to in essence, make her a prisoner in her other self."

"But it's usable." TC wanted to know, bypassing what Warp had said with the need for action. " _Correct_?"

"Yes, but, you must not have heard me…" He frowned again, looked at TC, then sharply looked elsewhere. "The settings are stuck. If anyone used this now, you would merge with your other. You would become them. They would become you. Either way you wouldn't be…"

"How soon can I go?" Thundercracker interrupted, a wave of unease drifting through their link, followed by the need to do anything, _now_.

"To go would be foolhardy," Warp tried to tell TC. "I can't track Sunstreaker, don't know where they've gone. Even if this worked, even if you _somehow_ remained… conscious of yourself, of your mission… there are just too many variables that I _can't_ account for, so much that is going to go wrong." Warp was worried about TC, about the idea that if he left, he wouldn't return.

They all knew how many universes there were. The probability of finding the female, it was…

"Give me time, and I will figure out how to set this back to its original settings," Warp begged his closest friend. "At least that way you wouldn't be hindered by the consciousness of another that may or may not overwhelm your own." Skywarp's tone became edgy and high, riddled with the unknown. "I don't even know how to separate Alexis from her other if you find her. Or even how to bring her back without an anchor, which of course, Sunstreaker did not give her. You can't go. I won't let you go. To go now would be certain failure!"

"Then figure things out. _Quickly,_ " Starscream interjected before Skywarp really got into panic mode.

Thundercracker gave him a look at that order, not appreciating the anxiety that obviously leaked into his vocals. Yes, he was still worried. Yes, about that female. TC was still broadcasting _intent_ toward Starscream, because of what he had tried with the female, because of what he still wanted. The resentment was getting old and tiresome. As soon as he had a moment, he would work on reestablishing some mental boundaries.

"Quickly?" Warp shook is head firmly. "Not possible. We are talking years here. This is technology that…"

"Then fix the recall device so we can go," Starscream recommended.

"We?" TC ejected the word with disapproval, his optics darkening. " _I_ will go after Alexis. _You_ will stay here with Skywarp and do what you must so that…"

Warp swiftly interrupted, "Um, can't you guys at least save the fighting for when I actually have it partially doable?"

"Which will be _when_?" Starscream wanted an answer.

"Which will be sooner if you guys stop asking _that_ question. Even geniuses don't like to rush things."

"If the dolt of an Autobot can figure it out, you had better." Starscream sneered. "I hate to think of your reputation if you do not."

Warp scowled, put out by that comment. "There's no way he figured this out on his own. I don't care how long he had."

Starscream and TC exchanged glances, both having the same idea at the same time. Perhaps it was time to better analyze Sunstreaker's crew.


	29. Distorted

Alexis wasn't dreaming. But she wasn't awake either.

She'd been scared, terrified really, of things both impossible and incomprehensible. She saw herself, so many versions, so many different possibilities of outcomes and circumstances. For a moment, Alexis was each and every one of the others, overwhelmed with a plethora of memories and thoughts, of lives being lived.

It was far too much for her mind to handle. And the perception of multi-reality had her shutting down and turning off, even with knowing the danger of whom she was with and who was there beside her. She was struck with mind-altering paralyzation. There was only a vague sense of awareness that had her retreating from what had happened, her mind creating a vague reality that allowed her to endure.

Only that reality expanded and grew, her mind filling in the gaps with never forgotten wishes and dreams. Alexis forgot about all the Sunstreaker vowed, forgot about so much, her brain flashing through time and filling it with memories, giving her what would have been if Airaih had never died.

And when her eyes opened, Airaih pressed behind her, she didn't think anything of it. Alexis felt such contentment, such elation, whether a dream, a coping mechanism or a phantasm of a life that never got the chance to be, it didn't matter.

She believed what she saw and felt, and Alexis was _happy_.

* * *

"Still cold?"

Alexis nodded her head. She sat up in bed and maneuvered to stand. She was pregnant, very much so. And freezing now that Airaih was not holding her. Her pregnancy was familiar, was startling, was comforting. Airaih helped her stand, which mas a task all its own. But she wanted out of bed. Since her third trimester she had become ahum with energy. He wrapped her in a thick cloak, took her hands in his warm ones and rubbed them together before helping her place the coolant band on her wrist that quickly heated her through.

They had been sharing a room for a while now, before she'd been aware that she was pregnant. His family still didn't approve, and knowing that she was to have a boy, they tried to convince her and Airaih to raise the child _conventionally_. But no one would separate her from her son. And Airaih made it quite clear to his family and his brother that they were going to raise their child _together_.

His family didn't argue, but they did give the couple space, as if trying to figure out how to handle the situation. His family was actually quite understanding if one forgot about the silent, pointed stares. Alexis was changing how things were run in the household. She would have felt guilty if not for the knowledge that her other choice was to give in and give her unborn child up to the males of the family to raise, and to separate herself from Airaih and only really see him twice a year during his thezde cycle.

She wouldn't do either.

Hands brushed over her large belly, Airaih's beautiful yellow eyes large and full of wonder. He pressed his mouth against the back of her hand, gave her a look that was open and vivid with things unsaid but so clearly conveyed.

"I dreamed of a name last night," Alexis told her husband, his unwavering attention already upon her. They had discussed names here and there, but nothing either truly took to. "Aaron."

Airaih's brows lifted, the corner of his mouth lifting as he identified her excitement. "A human name," he spoke softly, quizzically, obviously giving what she had said some serious thought. She loved how he paid attention to her, how he always listened.

Alexis gave him a cheeky grin, which made him flush wonderfully, his scarlet flesh darkening under her sudden scrutiny. She could watch him all day. His reactions may have been subtle, sometimes unexpected, but they were all for _her_. The things he allowed her to see, what she could hear just in the tone of his voice.

"Well, Aaron Aih, then," she relented. She slowly dressed herself, turned and watched as he dressed himself, which was far more interesting than trying to get the fabric of her dress to settle over her large belly. She stared at his fit form, the attractive patterns on his naked flesh highlighted by the soft lights above, the muscles on his lean back flexing as he lifted his arms over his head and did a slow, distracting stretch.

"You do know that…"

She nodded her head, tried to clear her thoughts, but they were suddenly unrelenting, made her heart race, and her chest tighten. "Yes," she said breathlessly.

He turned around to face her, his head twisting along his shoulder as he stared at her. He took a deep breath of air, walked slowly toward her. When he spoke, his words were straightforward and calm, not matching up with the sudden trembling in his fingers, his focus alone enough to stir her up and leave her highly amorous. And his voice, the gentle timbre, made her skin prickle and her already warm body flood with familiar heat. "Traditionally, a male born in the third generation is named with a deviation of the grandfather's name, not the father's."

She met him halfway, snuggled against him. He no longer went stiff and uncertain at her shows of affection, even slowly wrapped a hand behind her neck, fingers rubbing soothingly against her skin. "Well, you broke traditional when you married me, and truthfully, as dear as your grandfather is to me, his name just doesn't, well, move me."

"And Aaron does?"

She pulled away from him, looked at him and nodded her head.

"Yes."

"Then I will allow you to name our _first_ child."

She felt her cheeks heat up, her stomach drop and her breath catch. Alexis hadn't been prepared for the pregnancy. But nothing would change her mind about wanting the life that grew inside her. She had altered, for the better, Alexis was sure. Her unborn son had already begun to define her.

"Let's go see Fornaih, and if she approves, we shall go for a walk."

Airaih made her see the doctor every morning now, a validated precaution that he had managed to talk her into without too much difficulty. While Fornaih was knowledgeable, she was also firm in her prescriptions and suggestions. Yet Alexis was quite confidant in the doctor, knew everything was going and would continue to be smooth.

She was having a child. _They_ were having a son.

Sometimes when she reminded herself of that, Alexis felt an unfathomable sorrow that was quickly overshadowed by unrelenting joy.

* * *

"Are you sure this is the herb, serztz? It's so orange. My pictures show it as a dull brown."

"Yes. The one you are referring to is not available in this region. But this is a heartier variation." Airaih got down on his knees, carefully dislodged the small plant from the earth, careful not to rip the roots. He placed it into her portable collection container that he had made for her as an early birthday present.

It started with the plant his brother had given her for a wedding present, evolved into a collection of other plants and specimens. She was learning about Renth through the flora. Her favorite so far was the rare vtock, a flower that bloomed only at night, and only during the last few hours before dusk. It naturally glowed, it's petals fluorescent, a base ingredient for a skin salve that she learned to make that was quite popular in her family, especially with the younger generation who used its more purified state to create war paints for mock skirmishes.

Putting the lid back on the container, Airaih got back up, put the handle in his other hand and held his other hand toward her, waiting for her to take it, his provocatively sharp ears turning an interesting shade of purple. He was still very conscious of when they touched, of when they made contact, something that was truly endearing, if not adorable.

She took his hand, walked only to come to an abrupt halt when Airaih gently tugged her back toward him. He lifted her chin up, swiped his fingers across her jaw, then leaned forward and pressed his lips against her own. Alexis gasped and readily melted into the kiss, delighted at his sudden lack of formality.

Alexis was still astounded by the gush of love that spread through her, her unborn child moving within her belly as if sensing her overwhelming contentment. He made her so happy. So happy that sometimes she didn't know how to respond. God had gifted her with an nontraditional mate that she wasn't just bound to, both spiritually and physically, but deeply committed, like nothing she had ever known before.

She loved him. And she knew he loved her, more than if he had actually spoken the unnecessary words.

" _Alexis,_ " her name was whispered as if on the wind. The soft syllables echoed inside her brain. Her eyes sprang open, she stepped back only to step away, from herself, from Airaih, both who were frozen and unmoving.

Her name was repeated again, only this time her name was said from behind her. She was flabbergasted, didn't understand, not a thing **,** and when she turned around to find the very human, very much _alive_ Sideswipe walking toward her, her mind fractured.

* * *

"I… I… You are…"

"Dead?"

She could barely speak. Alexis was lost and confused and working toward a panic that made fear burn around and through her, rendering her with an awareness of more than she wanted.

Alexis looked down at her body, finding her stomach flat and unaltered, looked back around her shoulder, watching the image of her and Airaih fade away.

"No!" Her legs gave out. She fell to her knees. Tears blinded her vision, falling down her skin as she screamed and cursed, raging against what had never been, but _should_ have been. To be shown that, to _live_ through almost a year of memories and events, then have it taken away.

It was torture. It was so much worse than that, everything had been real, so _real_ , and she had been so incredibly…

"It was never real."

She heard that voice behind her, closer than before. Felt a hand press down on her shoulder, firm and as real as Airaih's touch had been just moments before.

"It _was_ ," she argued, her voice strained and strange. She struggled with herself as she stood to her feet. She stared at a dead person. Alexis didn't think anything was ever going to make any sense.

Sideswipe looked at her. His face was marred with a compassion that left her bewildered with how it touched her. "Your mind is quite something, Lex," Sideswipe told her as he watched the last vestiges of Renth and her happiness slip and pull away into thick shadows. "You created an entire _world_ in your mind. A reality you long for so that you can cope with these circumstances."

She suddenly heard his brother's voice, suddenly saw and remembered things that seemed unbelievable. What had felt so real vanished into the realm of tangible memories of the desperate. But Alexis felt no better, no matter what truths were offered.

"I don't understand," she weakly whispered.

Sideswipe stared at her for a moment, swiped his hand through his hair that was much shorter than she recalled, no longer highlighted with red, but a stark inky black, not even spiked as before, but naturally flat, small tendrils curling lazily around his left ear.

"Sunstreaker, well, Sunny, did something he shouldn't have," the Autobot spoke slowly, as if not believing it himself, a tangible regret there that made her wary. "Something I couldn't stop." He placed his hands in his pants pockets, the long sleeves of his teal shirt slipping down his arms.

"You are dead, Sideswipe," Alexis blurted out, bypassing what he was saying for a moment to at least try to understand that aspect.

He gave her a wary smile. "Yes. And no. And you started to call me Sides, remember?" He spoke softly, his mouth flattening as he frowned, suddenly paling dramatically. His familiar blueish green eyes dropped along her body only to pull back up and fall back down, as he stared at nothing. He sighed heavily, took his hands out of his pockets and took a small step closer to her, watching her so carefully that she could not move away. "I am a remnant of Side's subconscious that resided in Sunny. I was placed here so that I could assist you in getting back to your universe."

"That…"

He took a large step back, swept his hands around in the air, turning his body around as he did so. "You aren't on Earth. You aren't even in your own universe, Alexis. In fact, you aren't even in your own mind. This isn't reality at all. This is a representation of reality that _you_ created. Right now you are within another you, shoved down into her subconscious so that my brother can, in a way…" He cringed. "Keep you."

" _No,"_ Alexis choked out, desperately not wanting _that_ to be the truth.

He came back toward her, managing another weak smile, his tone bright with a firm resolve. "I am going to get you out of here. But I cannot do so unless you believe me. Unless you take, what is that phrase?" he asked of her, only to answer himself, "a leap of faith. Or in actuality, a plunge, but either way you will need to believe."

"Believe what exactly?"

"Yourself."

* * *

"This isn't working." Alexis frowned. Days had gone by, which Sides had explained actually hadn't. Everything she did, everything she perceived was a contradiction. Alexis was trying to rise to the consciousness of another, a necessary step so that she could try to find her way back to her universe in the unconventional manner in which Sideswipe had enabled her to, something she was still in doubt of. The Autobot had given her the ability to move through other universes and selves, but she would need to be the _conscious_ one to interact, so far a seemingly impossible task.

Alexis felt herself. She did not feel another. But too many unexplained things had happened that she wasn't in as much doubt as she had been.

"How do I even know that you are real? That you aren't another manifestation for me to cope with… this…" she struggled for a word, she was struggling with so much lately. Alexis was starting to become familiar with the always present agitation of helplessness and unresolved despair.

"This?"

"Subconscious prison," Alexis finished with a huff. She remembered everything now. But that didn't stop her mind from creating worlds and places. The two were now on a hill that she was pretty sure was a memory from her childhood. It was covered in thick, lush grass, patches of tall wildflowers going down the slope. "And you are staring at me again."

He gave her one of his smiles, this one vibrant and bold, reminding her of a time when they had both been whole. Her stomach churned. "I am incapable of looking away. I have feelings for you in which I am incapable of describing." He frowned tightly, his voice lowering with his bewilderment and wonder. "Fear, anxiety, nervousness, and a strange desire to press my spark against you, which is odd in itself as I am not even in my own body, let alone, me, _me_ … I feel close to you, _bound_ to you."

"I guess we both are having identity problems."

He gave her a look, his mouth lifting up as he began to laugh. He had every reason to, because everything was silly, and weird and yes, ridiculous. There was something rather comforting about watching him as he laughed so easily, something almost freeing.

He stopped abruptly, his eyes returning to her own. "But to answer your question, I am as real as you. Although I am more a fragmented piece of data. But whatever I am, I can't help but think you are…" He paused, swallowed hard, the mirth washing out of his expression and filling with something far more desperate. "I want things. Impossible things. Things that contradict my core programming." He abruptly changed the subject. "When you get back to your universe, try not to blame Sunny too much. He missed me. He needed you. He took what steps he felt were required, however heedless and damaging and _cruel_."

He stood up, offered his hand to her. Alexis got up on her own, unused to his presence. He wasn't real. He couldn't possibly be. But Sides was here with her, alive, so very much there.

Sideswipe frowned and for a moment appeared hurt and offended.

"I love you, you know," Sideswipe suddenly blurted out in a manner that tugged at her hearts strings and made her feel such incredible sorrow all over again. His mouth pinched with a display of confusion that cleared away with his next words. "That is why I want you to succeed. Let's try again."

He offered his hand again. This time she took it.

* * *

She had now moved to different universes, becoming a part of several versions of herself until she slowly became aware of the those that she was entangled with. Sides assisted her, but the more awareness and control she got, the less tangible he was until she didn't see him again. Another rupture in her head that she was at odds on how to handle.

Alexis was still disoriented, and by the time she finally gained consciousness, when she finally was _there_ and seeing and not buried inside another, she found that being the conscious one wasn't about control, but about a symbiotic type of relationship that, while she didn't hear the thoughts of that Alexis, she definitely got her memories and experiences, which allowed interaction in a way that would have otherwise been impossible.

The first time she became _aware_ in what may have once been Earth was not the definition of what she would call home. But that was only the beginning, and the least of her concerns. She needed to use each and every conscious opportunity she was allowed to learn, to figure out, to try to acclimate herself to the circumstances that felt as if a demented episode on Star Trek.

She learned quickly enough that not every Alexis was obliging. Others were so willing to help her, and so many a harmonious cohesion that allowed her to exist in a manner that was astoundingly insightful and seamless, letting her experience things as if for herself.

She was herself. She _was_ the other.

And as soon as she figured things out better, Alexis was going to find her way home. But the more universes she went to, the more distorted who she was became.

No, she wasn't dreaming, but being awake and aware and so very out of reach of those that she loved was no more preferable.


	30. Jolt

Before TC's transitions away from his universe, Skywarp had warned him of so many things, cautioned him of what it might be like. Unable to wait for Warp to reset the device he had to go as it was formatted. He had merged with seven other Thundercracker's already, and while the transition was smooth, becoming the other was not pleasant. Getting their memories and downloading their experiences was disruptive and intrusive. And while it did give him the necessary tools needed in order to interact in each reality efficiently, it also had the tendency to distract and, if he wasn't careful, overwhelm.

He didn't have to remind himself of his mission. But TC found out quickly enough that he had to work within certain boundaries. To disrupt the counterpart's life too much beyond the normal could lead to unwanted consequences. Gaining control was a matter of aggressive self awareness, and while that too could be a struggle, the process was not difficult.

Warp was able to narrow down TC's search field quite a bit. He traveled only to the universes where Earth and Cybertronians collided. He could recall himself at any time with the implanted anchor, a very important device that Sunstreaker hadn't bothered equipping Alexis with. Whichever universe the Bot had taken Alexis to he wasn't planning on her return. She was stuck wherever the Autobot had taken her, left with no ability to do anything or even be aware, the restrictions placed on her user file cruel and abhorrent.

TC had a week while Warp worked on the Displacer to go through the Bot's things. He found videos, vocal and photo recordings of the female that had been played countless times. What he witnessed was disturbing, was not expected, was beyond what he saw when he sparked the female. He found plans, and half-baked ideas, so much concerning Alexis, a lot concerning Sideswipe, small tangents of manicky aspirations tainted by Sunstreaker's belief of what he felt he was owed and due.

Sunstreaker had saved so much from his time with Alexis, trinkets and other personal belongings that showed the plans the Bot had started to make. Other discarded, torn, destroyed and _altered_ items showing the corruption of his tainted processor.

The Autobot had been unbalanced before. He was certainly deranged now. What he had done, what he had prepared, all with disregard for Alexis and her well-being, the damage that would most certainly be done.

Humans had a fragile mind that was easily swayed and influenced. They were mentality corrupted by tragedy, by misfortune, by loss, by their own actions or another's, even long past memories could unbalance and alter. They couldn't redact or erase, they couldn't even forget, not really. Humans had enough contending with their own consciousness and experiences, thrust into another's whether compatible or not was more than a human was designed to manage.

TC burned with rage. Toward himself, toward Sunstreaker, toward Starscream. He didn't want to be near his wingmate for that long week while Warp adjusted the Displacer, confrontations only serving to illuminate things that he was still hard set on acknowledging.

Starscream had _helped_ the female. He'd _touched_ her.

And the anxiety that Starscream projected, TC wanted none of that. But now that Sunstreaker's nullifier had been destroyed, now that his systems were recovering and his processor was healing, his mind was more vulnerable than ever. The Trine's link had broadened, their bond expanding. He saw too much from his wingmates, heard whispers of thoughts, and while Warp's were on the task at hand, Screamer's were volatile and restless and far too focused on whom they should not be.

He knew that Starscream found Alexis compelling. But TC had always put it down to their bond, which could be quite persuasive in their outside relationships and interests. Starscream liked Alexis, before she bonded to TC, even now that she was his.

TC couldn't help but remember that the last time Screamer had _liked_ a female, he killed her.

The Supreme Air Commander didn't care about TC's tie to the female, wasn't deterred by that at all. Starscream's time spent with the female had afforded him some far misused confidence that he flouted with an air of rivalry.

Only there was no rivalry. But that didn't stop Screamer from thinking about and recalling his time with the female. Or block the onslaught of imagery of what Starscream wanted to happen upon Alexis' return. But Starscream's beliefs and obscene delusions didn't make TC doubt, but managed to make them _collide_ , the confrontation that followed destroying two decks of the Bot's ship, a docked shuttle and a passing asteroid.

He may have hurt like slag afterwards, but it was another step that fortified his recovery. How unfortunate that the altercation didn't change Starscream's processor about looking for Alexis himself, but only increased his resolve.

Such was the way with his fickled wingmate.

But he would be the one that found Alexis. He was bonded to her. He was inflicted by her absence. He was not just being driven by anxiety and lust, but a sense of deep severance, of extreme isolation, of a loneliness that only heightened his despair.

TC couldn't feel Alexis. Not since Sunstreaker had taken her away.

But his energy was inside her. He would find her because she was a part of him, because his spark would recognize her no matter where she was or what form she had taken.

He would bring her back. He wasn't returning until he found her.

Starscream could do whatever the slag he wanted. Finding Alexis was just another diversion for him. He would not stand the test of time and commitment. Alexis may have been an interest to him, but for TC she was hope, she was life, she was the personification of everything he never deserved and what he wanted the most.

She was his future.

* * *

One thing he had learned quickly enough when he began his search was that whenever Earth and Cybertronians crossed paths, war and chaos followed. Humans, more often then not, thrust into their age-old war that made the species already tenuous survival another struggle for freedom lost and lives taken.

For such a weak species, they were riddled with a warrior complex, with a sense of justice that was so easily fueled by Optimus Prime, or manipulated by a masterfully deceitful Megatron. He watched the humans destroy Decepticons with ease, watched them turn on their Autobot friends, watched them fight among themselves only to rally and overcome.

Another thing the Seeker was relearning. Humans were complex, were double-sided, could be far more than they appeared or seemed. The evil could be just. The good could be cruel. The humans could change with circumstances, with the need to survive, even with hunger.

He'd seen so much in so little time, much of his experiences reminding him of the time he had spent on Earth, of the damage they had done there. TC had yet to see a healthy Earth, or an alliance made between humans and Cybertronians that did not lead to so many deaths, to so much loss.

"You are staring at her again."

This was the first universe he had transitioned to that he did not find himself on Earth. Was only the second where he had actually come into contact with an Alexis.

This Thundercracker had noticed the human female long before his arrival. Had continued to notice her every time he returned to the Anchorage, an elaborate hotel that encased a quarter of the planet on Durant.

TC was forced to momentarily divert his attention. A brightly colored femme sat across from him, her dark orange optics crawling along his body with familiarity and fervor.

He knew this femme quite well, or his counterpart did. And while the attraction was not there for him, Rezz was not one you could easily ignore.

"You aren't the only one interested," the femme spoke with an air of enjoyment. She offered him an enthusiastic smile, the jewels on her slim wrist jingling when her digit brushed over the bottom of her thin mouthpiece. "You wouldn't believe how many offers I have had for a human. Just think of the creds I could earn from a human female if she were in my employ." She leaned forward, her tone lowering into an effective whisper. "Seems tiny does it for some." She idly looked at the passing female, her attention swiftly returning to TC as she watched him watch her. "She's a decent technician though. And I've heard that…" the femme went on, but TC already knew about this Alexis.

She was not _his_ Alexis. His spark didn't identify and lock onto her, her energy emissions didn't increase. He felt no link to this Alexis like he did his own.

And yet…

He _had_ to watch her. He had to see her.

Because while she was not his, she was still _her_. And he hadn't seen his in far too long, a separation that was entirely his fault, one that he continued to pay for every day, through pain, through aggravation, through a raw turmoil that twisted inside his spark chamber every time he saw a version of her.

TC was being tortured, worse than Sunstreaker had managed, worse than his enemies had tried. He wanted Alexis so profoundly that he managed to bring spark pains upon his already occupied body, which somehow managed to settle him with the resolve of _not_ going to her.

But his optics did not leave her until the small human left the busy foyer.

"Seems like tiny does it for you too." Rezz leaned toward him, her small mouthpiece curving into a smile. "Tell me, Lord Thundercracker," she purred, "would you pay for her?"

He stared at the femme. She was bright and bold, visually stunning. And she wasn't his type, not anymore. "I don't need to pay for _that_. As you well know."

"But, slag, would I pay for you." The femme smiled even wider, got up and moved closer to TC, her hand gripping on his left servo. Passersby continued to stare, yet avoid the pair when they realized whom the appealing femme was conversing with. She tilted her head, gave him a wicked look. "I could hire the human if you wanted." Her shoulders lifted into a provocative shrug. "You know… to _fix_ something. My wrist, the motion sensor on my sofa, slag, you know how much I like to watch, and watching you watch her with that _expression_ on your face… the _things_ it does to me," she let him know, eager for him to take up her offer.

TC got up so swiftly that the femme went spilling over to the side of the lounger that he had vacated. She quickly recovered, a spark igniting in her optics as she stood up as well.

"Should we try to make it to my quarters this time?"

"I do not require your company," he told her far more sternly than he meant to. Because he wanted Alexis, not this femme, because he was wired and a little high after seeing the other Alexis, his body tingling with physical longing.

The smile fell off Rezz's face. "I see," she finally spoke up as if it was of no matter, as if she didn't burn for him already. "But when you get to your quarters and find yourself alone and that kind of miserable, don't call me. I will be busy… with _friends_." Her smile returned at that, the ease returning back into her stance. She leaned toward him as if daring him to move away, then brushed her digits down the back of his right wing, grinning when he involuntarily flinched, biting down on a hiss.

Her victory won, Rezz left him behind, obviously still expecting him to follow. He did not.

* * *

Leaving a universe was not as easy as entering it. While he could recall himself back to his own, it would damage the changes that Skywarp had made, both software and hardware as they were so delicately connected. His return was only for the most dire circumstances, or for when he found Alexis.

The Seeker couldn't think of her without a shiver going up his backpanel, a vibration igniting in his spark. He'd never missed anyone like he did her, those years he had been away from her, and now.

Thundercracker was desperate to move to the next universe. And yet he was stuck until the chip he had been implanted with synced the data it gathered to the Displacer. That could take days, even weeks. Warp explained that it was an exploratory protocol that could not be overridden or terminated or even sped up. The process was insufferable and annoying.

Not knowing how long he stayed, not knowing when he'd leave to the next, it was necessary data that TC could have had if he waited for Skywarp to finish his modifications. But for once he'd been far too impatient, not something he regretted, but something he could not have ignored.

TC had waited that week while Warp repaired the Displacer, which was as far as his tolerance would allow. So many weeks had passed since then, a blur of existences and consciousnesses that he easily buried and erased, keeping the necessary information required in order to continue pursuit of Alexis.

He learned things both fascinating and troublesome about the transitional module along his journeys. Things that made him question the species that had created the device. A species that had either annihilated itself or more logically, just disappeared. TC did research, each universe giving him a small piece of a far too large puzzle about a culture that seemed to rarely exist in this universe, or the next, just data of mysterious travelers that were there and then not, leaving behind rumors and whispers.

He also learned more about this Alexis, because he couldn't do otherwise.

Her brother had been put in an internment camp over a year ago during an altercation on a Decepticon owned space station. Ever since, Alexis had been trying to earn all that she could to buy him out, as creds were the only reason that one ever got let off of the Moon prison Xinn, no matter what crime was committed, no matter against whom. A profitable venture for sure, especially if the crime was a heinous one.

The female kept to herself, didn't associate with anyone since her two coworker friends left, except, it seemed, a scout for the Decepticon army, a ruthless hunter of the innocent and weak, a pleasure seeker of the abnormal.

Barricade.

His Alexis barely stood up to Megatron's favorite scout, this vulnerable one would stand no chance at all.

* * *

Everywhere he went, Thundercracker was noticed. If not by his formidable reputation, then his Elite status in the Deception army. His presence was disruptive and explosive, no matter how hard TC tried to go unnoticed.

He knew all that this Thundercracker had done. They shared a past, but did not share the same life paths. This Thundercracker was loyal and devoted to Megatron, still committed to the Decepticon cause. And while he was an Elite Seeker as well, he was also the second-in-command to Megatron with duties that had given him opportunities and benefits and _skills_ that solidified his unquestionable standing with the High Lord Protector.

There were even rumors that Thundercracker's power would soon overshadow Megatron's. And while his counterpart was ambitious, he was also thorough and patient. Power was not something this Thundercracker sought, but something he knew he could take, if compelled.

He was methodical, precise and vicious. He was everything TC would have been if he'd never triggered his benevolent protocols.

But his counterpart was also _susceptible,_ dazzled by things he identified but didn't understand. By the strange human female that managed to not only fix his faulty holo-monitor, but put up with his exacting instructions without cowering or stumbling too much. Her work had been proficient and detailed. A quality he would not have identified with her species before.

Thundercracker kept crossing paths with the human female. She was forgettable, like the rest of the human species, like most that he had the misfortune of dealing with. And she would have stayed forgettable if not for the impression she started to leave on him, the things he unconsciously began to notice of her.

TC felt no resistance from Thundercracker when he followed after Alexis who had left The Anchorage, her departure unusual and unscheduled. She did not travel alone.

He trailed them to a mid-point fueling station, caused a ruckus among the stationed crew there when he landed, none knowing how to handle the prestigious Seeker, none brave enough to ask him what he wanted.

This Barricade had the same stench of destruction and death that his did, allowing TC to track him effortlessly.

He felt far too great a satisfaction when the hunter fell to his knee-plates upon his identification, his signs of deference overplayed and obvious.

"Lord Thundercracker. Your arrival here is... unexpected."

"You did not answer my summons."

"An error, I assure you, my lord," Barricade answered with caution, his attention drifting to the empty corridor that led to where his shuttle was obviously docked.

"Have somewhere to be, soldier?"

Barricade stood to his peds, a defiance flaunted that did not hide his bizarre restlessness.

"He does," a familiar voice answered for Barricade. TC shivered. His Energon thickened.

The hunter's attention wandered to behind the Seeker and down. Deranged bliss shadowed the scout's face, his black door panels snapping up on his shoulder plates as his blood red optics burned.

TC turned slowly around, finding a small but highly efficient stun pistol aimed not at his cockpit, not even his head, but at a hidden sensory module on his left pediform.

A familiar pair of bewitching emerald eyes ascertained him with hollowed out terror and extreme prejudice. "And you won't stop him." She looked over at Barricade, gave him a knowing smile that was wild and untamed and had the scout's engine revving. "But I think he'd like you to try."


	31. Perspective

Neither physical confrontations nor words of warnings were ever enough to keep the Supreme Seeker from doing something he had decided upon. The more TC threatened him, the more Warp tried to deter him, the more determined he became.

He would be the one to find Alexis. He would be the one to conquer the mystery of the multi-verse. He would also be the one to find out what had caused their all mighty leader Megatron to return from one of his visits trepidatious and _wary_.

That interested Starscream a great deal.

Unlike Thundercracker, he waited long enough for Skywarp to make some improvements. One of which was the capability to move to the next universe when he was ready, a benefit he came to appreciate at his first awakening in another self and universe.

So far, his other versions had proved to be fools, _weak_ deplorable fools. They were without personal motivations, pathetic creatures that only thrived under Megatron's mastery. They were owned by Megatron, controlled and dictated by in totality, no life beyond what the High Lord Protector allowed, mindless, sparkless ridiculous manifestations that were some universal joke at his expense.

And yet he was having a ridiculously good time becoming them, Warp's warning of altering and interfering quickly forgotten.

Taking over and controlling these Starscreams was easy and penance they needed to pay. He allowed them just enough awareness to witness his actions first hand: that of annihilating Megatron. The first universe had just been an experiment, the next three times a personal vow, the last time, his most delicious triumph yet, as he savored it when he brought the High Lord Protector to heel, allowing Megatron to live to serve _him_ , which didn't last long and ended with him putting Megatron down, but, slag, those few days had been highly gratifying.

Without Starscream's scheming, attempts for absolute power and leadership aspirations, Megatron was weak. Which allowed Starscream to come to a most startling conclusion. _He_ was a very large part of what had empowered and improved Megatron. An irony that struck the Supreme Seeker and left him simmering for the next universe and a half.

* * *

The Earths seemed to be the central point of power exchange between the Decepticons and Autobots. The planet always drew one faction or the other, forcing the other to follow. None of the Earths seemed overabundant with resources as the humans had done a bang up job eliminating and wasting most. Nor did the planet have anything vital that many other planets had more of. There was nothing that really distinguished the planet, although one could not argue its bounty of life.

Earth was relatively healthy, was vibrant, seemed to have potentials that other worlds did not.

And it had humans. A lot of them. Too many. And more on the way. Earth had been isolated and left unmolested, free from space wars and conflicts, its fate left up to the organic creatures that had enough difficulty trying to live their own productive lives within the small boundaries of the planet.

And yet even without the outside interference, they still had wars, and terror, managed to do off with one another and build up death counts that would have made a Decepticon warrior proud.

Add Cybertronians to the mix, and it either destroyed the Earth or made it stronger. As was the way with war. As was the way of the strong and the weak.

* * *

He could have been finishing up the building of his new warship or be finding new recruitments. Slag, he could have been wasting away on some pleasure center, carefree and satisfied and living off remnants of fantasies of ending Megatron, which one upon a time had certainly been enough.

Only at some point his life had once more reached that point of not being enough. Because of TC's bond with the female that had shown him things he didn't know he was missing. Because of old ambitions that suddenly seemed relevant but no longer necessary. He could have power without taking Megatron's. He could have what he wanted without commanding the Decepticon army. The information he extracted from The Pit had given him insight and options.

He could be powerful on his own, with his Trine, if he felt inclined, or without. His hunger for power had not died, but his solution for such an outcome was certainly changing.

Not having Megatron at the forefront of his thoughts was irksome and yet totally gratifying.

Megatron wasn't his everything. Megatron wasn't the answer to all.

As this Starscream seemed to have figured out long ago. He had memories of Megatron's overthrow, a brilliant show that had been instigated by rumors and whispers and deeply nurtured resentment. A second-hand attack that played out with such perfection. A mega-cyles worth of planning that ended in less that ten minutes. It was this Starscream's first and only attempt upon Megatron. The High Lord Protector couldn't have withstood this Starscream's tenacity and patience.

Yet another Starscream he could resent.

* * *

This was the first time the Supreme Air Commander found himself actually on Earth. Also, the first time he had difficulty dominating another Starscream. This one had a spark, had a fight in him, and memories beyond the overthrow of Megatron that were curious and conflicting. He had to use the abeyance device Warp had supplied him with to control the Starscream without further interference. He could have managed on his own, but he was becoming impatient. He had yet to see the female, had spent probably a little too much time messing with his other selves, and while Skywarp had implanted a device that would enhance Alexis' life signature, he had yet to have a ping.

Either Alexis never existed in those other universes, or none of them were even close to his own.

But when the enhancer vibrated and pulsed on his wrist, he found himself led back to the human's homeworld.

It was bleak, desolate and dying. And she was there somewhere.

* * *

This Earth was a desolate orb of dust and decay.

The humans had been forced to bury and live underground. From what the Seeker saw and what little radio chatter there was, he reasoned that one group of humans had wiped out the other, an accident during some test that turned into an inescapable war that ended with so many dead and no winners.

They lived like ants within their decaying planet, burrowing living spaces, forced to adapt to an environment they were not designed for. The war may have ended but the struggles continued. Finding food, shelter, not running out of air. He could have felt sorry for them. But it was all their own doing.

"What do you want with my sister?"

Starscream hadn't been searching long. Buying and programming his newly acquired holo-ability had taken longer than honing in on this femme's signal.

But actually getting to the female and confirming what he already believed to be true was turning into a problem. These humans seemed to recognize unfamiliar faces far too quickly, and while they weren't as hostile as they had every right to be, they weren't obliging either.

"Who are you?" The male stepped to Starscream, coming from between two guards that blocked the entrance to where Starscream had been about to gain entrance.

He wasn't Josh, and doing a quick bio-scan confirmed that the person was in no way related to Alexis.

"You are not her brother," Starscream spoke calmly, his brow rising as he gave the male one more once over before dismissing him. He was of no interest.

The male's eyes narrowed, his lips pressed tightly together, his face flushing an unattractive pink. He pushed Starscream farther away from the entrance, a gun making its way into his right hand that he pointed at the humanized Seeker. The Seeker sighed with boredom.

Starscream's lack of concern escalated the boy's already present anxiety, making his words slur with haste. "I've seen his picture. You aren't him either," the male spat out, his face filled with suspicion and a paranoia that made his brown eyes large and unforgiving. "I don't know what you want with Alexis, but you aren't…"

Starscream's palm flashed up, striking the boy in the nose and effectively silencing him. Blood spurted, more gushing out of the male's forehead when the Seeker shoved it into the nearest wall. He deactivated his holo-form, then reactivated it in front of the unsuspecting guards. His fist downed the first, a side kick and thrown dagger eliminating the second and the just approaching third.

Alexis was waiting for him, familiar green eyes targeting him along with a modified metal bow that was slim and refined and aimed at his chest.

"Where is my brother?"

He didn't know what was going on between Alexis and her 'brother', but she was not the one he was looking for.

"He isn't your brother," Starscream told her with a derisive chuckle, his eyes leaving her unimpressive weapon, traveling down her body as he took in the strange clothes she wore that were tight and dark, and certainly appealing.

She blushed under his gaze, managing to keep the arrow pointed at him even as her hands began to tremble. "Who are you?"

Starscream didn't bother answering. He'd wasted enough time, and while seeing the female again was gratifying, he'd had enough. Deactivating the holo-form he initiated a now familiar protocol as he left one universe and entered another.

* * *

"Are you enamored with me?"

A younger Alexis stood below him, clean, unsullied, with wide eyes that were free of tragedy and loss. She blushed bright, actually took a step back, suddenly not so sure of her approach of him.

"How old are you?" he wanted to know.

Her brows lifted, her expression changing to confusion, her bright eyes analyzing him with what could have been suspicion. He'd made a mistake with that question, Starscream understood that with the way she now watched him. But that didn't stop her from answering.

"Nineteen," she said slowly before she backed away, leaving him alone in the hallway, but not before giving him one last curious look over her shoulder.

He grinned.

She paled and nearly tripped over her own feet.

* * *

He'd been with the Autobots for three years. Or the other Starscream had been, but their memories were as one. He'd left Megatron over some dispute over mini-cons, which had him aligning himself to the Earth bound Autobots. And even when the mini-cons had all been found and left to their own devices, he stayed.

The Autobots treated him well, perhaps too well. Starscream wasn't used to such considerations. But the courteousness didn't just come from just the Autobots, but their humans as well. How the Autobots had managed to drag the children into their war with them was beyond his reasoning, but their commitment could not be questioned.

And if one of the humans happened to make more of an effort with him than all of them put together, he didn't think about it until an event on the female's seventeen birthday that had him seeing her as more than just an ally.

Nor did the Seeker recognize the danger of their closeness until he caught the female returning his tentative glances. Perhaps, just maybe, she… But he didn't allow himself to believe. Human or not, he wasn't good enough for the female. He was damaged, was beyond redemption, the things he had done, the things he still wanted to do.

And yet he didn't leave when he should have. Didn't go back to Megatron when the opportunity presented itself.

He didn't encourage her. He also didn't push her away. He wasn't strong enough to do either. And when the pull between them grew from mutual respect and understanding to prolonged physical contact of restrained exploration, he couldn't have loved her less if he tried.

Not that he told her. Not that she knew. And while he may have been in anguish over what would never be between them, Alexis, he knew, by his lack of acknowledgment, he hurt.

But that didn't stop her from being his friend.

* * *

Ever since his arrival, whenever he interacted with this female his chassis would feel tight and his servos would sting, a physical warning from that universe's Starscream that what he was doing was not allowed, and yet he didn't stop.

"Who are you?"

This time when the female confronted him an entire week later, he was not prepared for her directness. The first time had been fun, due the entire oddity of knowing that the girl was beguiled by him. This time though, with the way her face was drawn tight and her arms were solidly placed along the sides of her body, her unwavering eyes upon him, Starscream couldn't help but feel a little _responsible_ for what he had said to her, and the things he had said to her since.

She wasn't the Alexis. But she was adorable and adoring. The Seeker stayed and basked in her attentions. And flirted, and made suggestive remarks, and just all together flustered the female.

The warnings from Skywarp came to him again, about conforming to the Starscream he became, living in the boundaries of that person's life so as not to upset the balance of things, or some other such nonsense, warnings that truthfully, he hadn't really been listening to, but obviously should have been.

He'd meddled, he'd reacted as himself, caring not how the other would have been, or what state he left things when he moved on. But now that he'd been in the pediforms of this diffident, yet highly chivalrous Starscream he felt at odds with himself and the fun he was having.

When he didn't answer, Alexis took a small step closer to him, her voice low and cautious, "You're not… You're not Starscream," she finished in a wavering hush. "The Starscream I know is careful, cautious, and..." She exhaled loudly, curled her hands into fists and let them unravel. She was nervous and anxious, and it made his tank shift uneasily. "He would never _speak_ to me like you do." She swallowed, ventured to look at him, even as her cheeks deepened with color, her soft expression hardening with obvious affront. " _Who_ are _you_?" she asked again, her words firm and seeking the truth. Alexis wasn't going to leave until she had an answer.

Regardless of her age she was intuitive and compassionate and far too observant. He probably broke another one of Warp's rules when he told her the truth.

And then he was further compelled to offer Alexis more truth, not about him, but this Starscream. Her reaction made his spark burn and his servos clench, ripe envy temporarily clouding his processor.

* * *

He was planning to leave that very night, but there had been some things he decided to get in order before leaving the Autobots' base. He may have not liked this Starscream, but he felt oddly troubled. He couldn't ignore the way that the Starscream felt about this Alexis, the aggressive emotions familiar and pressing. The uncomfortable feeling of internal struggle worsening since his last conversation with the female.

He was either going to leave on his own violation, or this Starscream's strength of growing resolve was going to kick him out. A sensation, he was quite sure, he did not want to experience.

There was a commotion in the hallway, Hot Rod and Blurr were talking with tense quickness, Jetfire off to the side looking at something on his wrist guard, a video playback of what, Starscream couldn't tell. Prime followed after a transformed Red Alert, alarms blaring upon his exit of the garage.

He noticed the lack of the children, but most were at college, or at jobs and…

"Something has happened to Alexis," Hot Shot warily told him as soon as he saw him, his features stressed and dark. He tried to stop Starscream from going after Optimus, Blurr did as well, but neither he nor his friend, nor even Jetfire who had to get involved were able to stop the Seeker from leaving.

He searched the news as he sped through the sky, found what he was looking for. And even forced to look between the lies and the covered truths he found out all he needed to know. Starscream knew a surgical strike when he saw one, saw the familiar signs of exactly who had attacked, and the clear message. Only one person had been targeted, one of the volunteer's at the senior center.

Alexis had been hunted and tortured as Megatron tried to compel her to speak of where the Autobots were, of where Starscream resided. Only she wouldn't tell him anything. Alexis even managed to get away, temporarily trapping the Decepticon lord in a newly constructed activity wing.

That nearly cost the female her life.

The information had him falling from the sky, the other Starscream no longer nudging him, his mental resolve fixed and torturous and demanding.

The Supreme Seeker was forced out, knowing if he didn't leave that the other Starscream would have killed him. He would have been somewhat impressed, if not for the unpleasantness of it all.

* * *

The last week and a half had been a blur of a struggle, of a fight, of the idea that he had lost control but desperately needed to regain it. Starscream didn't remember much. He hadn't been allowed to. But he understood so much more when he finally managed to expel the other from his body.

Not that any of that mattered.

He was morose, filled with self loathing and blame. Everything was his fault. Everything Megatron did to the female was because of him, because of the Autobots, because he couldn't protect her, not always, not like he needed to, not like he could have if he'd been brave enough to acknowledge what was between them.

To have to go see her like this, damaged and hurting and no longer whole was too much for him to acknowledge. But that didn't stop him from going to the medical ward, from waiting for Red Alert to leave so that he could approach her biobed and speak to the female alone.

His spark was thrashing. He felt like his intakes were clogged, his optics misaligned. And there was a heaviness over his entire body that was unrelenting and fiercely oppressive.

He was worthless. He was terrified.

She was so defenseless, far too fragile. Had come so close to… He would not stand by and watch this to happen to her again. He wouldn't lose her. She needed to live. The idea of being blind and buried and unacknowledged again, left in a world without her was unbearable.

"I'm leaving… I'm leaving Earth. I'm not returning," he finally managed to say, his vocals unrecognizable.

There was no response, and there wouldn't be one, not for some time. The female was covered in white sheets, her bare shoulders and arms revealing patches of translucent gauze, the deep dark scratches underneath violently evident on her pale skin, making him flinch, making him force himself to not look away, then up into her face.

He nearly lost what was left in his tank.

Her left eye was covered in a large patch. Or where her left eye should have been. Megatron had taken that from her as well. Red Alert assured him that he would be able to replace it with an organic optic, much better and far more advanced. But knowing that didn't make his digits stop shaking, or loosen that pressure that wrapped around his vocals rendering him speechless and dizzy. He tumbled to his kneeplates next to her bed.

Her beautiful expressive eyes that always managed to _see_ him, they'd entranced him so long, and now… _now_...

"You should have told him whatever he wanted to know," he rasped and raged, hissing tightly when he allowed himself to touch the edge of her hand, another tight ball of air bursting through his intakes.

Starscream forced his head up, tried to stop the trembling in his vocals, but it was really no use. His digit grazed the right side of her undamaged cheek, hovering on her mouth before shamefully pulling back. "You are good and kind and generous. So brave… I am…" His words fell apart. He shook his head. "I won't let you get damaged further. I won't destroy you. We are… This is..."

Alexis wouldn't have blamed him. A thought that nearly broke him. She would have told him that everything would be…

"Fine?" Starscream hissed out loud, his tone high and filled with revolting disbelief. She was always so hopeful, even now as he imagined her voice and her words, but he just couldn't swallow it. "It won't be okay! It never can be. Why can't you see this? Why don't you understand?!" he desperately wanted to know.

"Because I have faith in _us_."

Starscream heard the words as clearly as if she had spoken them. But Alexis hadn't moved. Even unconscious, she managed to speak within him.

He found himself replying, angry at things that he'd never been able to change or act upon, "There is no us. There never has been." It was the truth. It was so much a lie. This time he did break as long nurtured doubts broke apart in his mind, but it was far too late. "I am selfish and a coward… If you knew how I want you. The things I crave from you, the words I want you to say… Loathe me. See me as I have always seen myself. Find someone worthy."

He exited the medical ward, his steps faltering and his balance giving as he was forced to lean against the nearest wall until he could steady himself.

Starscream left her, incessant despair subdued by mental resolve. What he was going to do next, he didn't plan to survive.

But then neither would Megatron.


	32. Tangled

There were no Decepticons. No Autobots. No Cybertronians.

So far the Earths she saw remained unmarred and unmolested, still filled with tragedy and violence and terror, but all from humanity's own making.

Alexis lived through small segments of different Alexis' lifes. They were… contained, even peaceful although not free from problems and dilemmas and family ordeals. Alexis saw what her life would have been without the disruption of the Cons' arrival. The universes she traveled to usually so close to her own. The ones that weren't a reminder of outcomes that almost would have been, if certain wars had been lost. Those worlds she quickly identified that she did not know very much of her own planet's history, something that allowed her to get through one Earth and then the next as she filled her time with research.

She missed Aaron. She couldn't stop thinking of her son. It was the thought of Aaron that made her tremble and waver, that made her so very desperate to get back.

But she couldn't get back without the ability to find out how, or why, or even what exactly had happened.

The Earths' technology were advanced, but not far enough. What she needed to know was considered theoretical at the least, and science fiction at the most. Alexis couldn't research what didn't exist. She could only move forward and on, hoping that the next universe she got to had an Earth that was not so isolated.

She had so many questions. She had no answers.

She didn't know what activated her transition from one universe to the next, didn't know why she stayed in one for days, another weeks or even months.

There were no underlining causes, no recurring circumstances that would have led to clues. She was stuck in this state of existence, blind and unknowing, time another quandary that left her confused and sinking as she desperately clung to her memories and her life. She didn't know how long this multi-universe traveling had been going on. Far too long already. Long enough for her self to come into question, for her very identify to slip away only to be found again, a repetitious sense of awareness and loss coming and going, and returning back, only to be forgotten yet again as she took on another Alexis' life.

But she could never forget her son. He was what held her mind together, the glue to her questionable sanity.

Alexis was afraid of what she had forgotten though. Her memories pushed to the side during every transition into another. She was rarely just herself anymore. Always a mixture of the other.

But this time when she woke up inside another Alexis, her head pounding and her eyes straining, she knew exactly who she was and what she needed to do. The clarity was unrelenting, memories an onslaught of circumstances of her own past. Alexis focused on the insight, overwhelmed of all that she had let slip away, her remembrance clouding over the pain of her head. She focused on her life. Focused on herself.

Someone placed a warm hand on her forehead, a tingling of energy draining into her skin. She wanted to move closer. Alexis wanted more. But she was overtaken by visions, by blinding optics and the touch of metal against her skin.

That was when she remembered _him_.

And when she began to cry, from the pain, from everything her mind had erased but now offered to her in abundance, Alexis couldn't help but wonder exactly how much time had passed since she was aware like she was now.

Exhaustion overtook her, and when she fell asleep her memories continued to sweep through her, rejuvenating her mind and repairing her mental decline.

* * *

When she woke up, Alexis was alone, but she was not exactly on her own.

She felt the other Alexis, her memories coming to her in small patches. She felt relief at what she was shown, even through the terror of what she saw, the memories an ongoing tragedy of events that led to her being separated from her brother, and brought here.

Wherever here was.

The Decepticons had been on Earth for years now. At first, they had worked in tandem with the world leaders, long enough to become familiar with their world and its inhabitants. By the time the Cons revealed exactly why they were there and what they wanted, no one stood a chance.

The deaths. The destruction. The never-ending difficulties that always came with trying to survive the unsurvivable. The circumstances that changed who you were into someone you didn't even know.

Alexis had heard that the infamous Commander was paying their camp a visit for an inspection, but would have never believed all that Josh had planned. The attempt on the Decepticon's life, one who had murdered thousands of humans only to continue the rampage of terror on the then unsuspecting and unprepared planet, had been near flawless, except for one thing.

He didn't come alone.

But Josh and his comrades had almost succeeded. Half the humans in the camp had been murdered in retaliation that day, and the only thing that kept her alive was that she was Josh's sister, leverage, for the torture they had planned.

They didn't believe that she hadn't been involved. Alexis couldn't believe that Josh had kept that all to himself. And she didn't know how her brother endured everything they put him through as they tried to find out answers, believing him to be an instigator of other "terrorist" activity.

That was two years ago. She had been taken from her brother, placed in this metal cavern of a living environment, away from everyone and everything… except _him_.

The things that she was shown next left her breathless with agony and horror. All the attempts at escape. All the empty time passing. Working herself up to kill him, only to repeatedly fail. How his visits had changed from taunting and terrorizing to skilled conversations that tortured more than physical pain. He was unrelenting. He was the only person she ever saw.

She hated him.

And not just because something had quickened between them, an undercurrent of physical stress that while she continued to deny and resent, he pursued with insidious intent.

She wanted to kill him.

And to breathe real air, see the sun set and rise, feel a breeze that wasn't just a secondhand wind from the gape of a hole that taunted from inside and far above her metal burrow, the only opening to her world that was so very far out of reach.

She wanted to live.

Away from him and his observations, from his pompous speeches and genial chats of how his days had gone. He forced familiarity between them. Tricked her with tenderness and breathless vows. He took advantage of her on a day that she had been weak and vulnerable.

No, she didn't just hate him.

She hated herself.

* * *

"You're feeling better."

The voice echoed through the small corridor as he walked toward her. He was her size. His wings were folded tightly behind his back. His body was sleek and lean, his optics clear and bright, his presence formidable. For a paralyzing moment, all Alexis' mental resolve vanished. He felt so much like Thundercracker. His energy signature was bright and obvious, digging inside her skin with a familiar echo of intimacy. She couldn't help but savor the sensation as she kept herself put. He wasn't Thundercracker, not even close.

Starscream seemed to sway, his steps faltering momentarily only to continue toward her. She was sure it was only a trick of the dim lighting.

She crossed her arms over her chest, took a deep breath and prepared herself. She had spent the last day looking for weapons or tools, found the last project her counterpart had been working on that was her next attempt at escape.

But she had a far different idea.

Alexis was livid with anger. Her heart was thumping in her chest, ready for confrontation. He had kept Alexis down here for _years_. Others had gone mad over much less. But this Alexis knew God, and hope, and trusted in things that could not be taken away from her, not by him, not by anyone else.

She had already decided. He would not keep Alexis another day.

He stopped walking when he noticed her stance, his optics easily gliding along her body before coming back to her waiting eyes. He had the gall to smile at her, his uplifting mouth dropping when she did not respond to his easy manner. The Seeker studied her, took a small step back, placing what looked like clothes and books down on a nearby chair.

Alexis hated when he brought her stuff, hated that he made her rely on him.

"I would have thought we have reached an understanding by now," he spoke to her, his voice marred with something strenuous that made his words warble. His gaze kept moving to her mouth, to her belly, to her thighs. He was tense and distracted and wouldn't stop fidgeting, one of his digits tapping against his thumb.

Alexis was still irate, yet she was thrilled too. Finally… _finally_ to see a Cybertronian, even _him_ , it left her so hopeful that she nearly burst into tears. And she would have if not for the disgust that soured her belly.

"That only happened because I thought you would let my brother go," she lied, her words smooth and unaffected by the anger.

Starscream was not the only one that knew how to use effectual words. The Seeker's proud wings began to droop, his optics dimming with consternation as he tried to identify what truths lay in her statement.

"No," he finally stated calmly, as if he had decided to indulge her, nothing more.

"Yes," she repeated as easily as he, her eyes narrowing in defiance.

"No," he reasserted, once more making it feel like they were playing some sort of game.

They weren't.

"Yes," Alexis said through gritted teeth.

"No," he refuted her claim, no longer sounding undecided, the chuckle that followed his sure word, establishing that fact. "You are wired differently. You hold yourself accountable for your actions. You _wanted_ me."

He waited for her to say something to that, his digits bent into his palms, his mouth straining into a tight line. The light played off his sharp angles, revealing dark patches of red skin that shifted along his body and disappeared under interlocking panels. His cockpit was shaped differently, his wings were wider, he had small Cybertronian tattoos running up his lean servos, another one that wrapped up his left pediform.

She found him fascinating. She found him repelling. A healthy dose of resentment mutated into an unimaginable shame, making her gravitate toward better reasoning and less diversion. He was evil. He was a narcissist. He took delight with her struggles in maintaining morality, got off on her weaknesses. But was she thinking of this Starscream? Or the one she knew? Alexis was having a difficult time distinguishing the differences.

She took her time to reply. This time her tone was sarcastically affable, tinted with a healthy dose of spite. "Then... I _used_ you."

He hissed at her words, dangerous emotions playing over his face. He stared at her again, for a long while, and when he opened his mouth this time, it was to laugh.

"Why are you trying to turn yourself into something... common?"

"I _am_ common."

He visibly stiffened at that, but chose to ignore her words.

"You are angry with me today." He frowned. "Is this your time of bleeding?"

His words were stupid and insulting. As if Alexis had grown complacent, as if she didn't revile him, wish he was dead, _always_. The strength the other had, the will to survive, the inextinguishable spark of hope that hurt far more than giving up would have.

She had had enough. And when he brazenly approached her, she slapped his hand out of her face and pushed him back. He was more vulnerable in this compressed size, and whether shock or something else, he did not stop her.

No, with the way his chest lit up that definitely wasn't shock.

He looked at her, all cheerfulness and encouragement. Starscream grinned at her, his hands twitching by his sides. "This is different. You haven't used violence on me since…"

"You are a monster," she spat out, although it felt more like the other's words. But even with her being more coherent, she was still influenced by her counterpart. A replay of recent events went through the back of her eyelids that made her feel sick and queasy. He was a psychopath. He was many times over a murderer. He was the one who had personally seen to the torment of her brother, and on occasion had even made Alexis watch. She hadn't seen Josh in over a year. Not since…

His optics clouded with repressed rage, even as they went down her body with a familiar glimmer. He took hold of her right hand, forced her to step closer to his chassis. She let him.

"You have been thinking about…" His gaze went to her bathroom, and his inference was clear. "Me."

She felt deep revulsion toward herself for what she had done with this tormentor. She swallowed back those emotions, able to remind herself that what she was feeling, while understood, was not coming from her.

"I have, a lot," Alexis admitted.

Her words seemed to leave him defenseless, he gasped soundly, his wings extended and lifted upwards, his hold on her arm loosening only to wander down her arm and grab her hand in a possessive grip. His hand shook, his intakes were straining, his gaze upon her was obvious and attentive, so very unsure.

He made himself vulnerable to her. In the manner that he wanted her to be with him.

He didn't stop Alexis when she pulled her hand out of his, when her fingers went to trace the lines of light on his chest that brightened at her touch. He gasped and inhaled sharply, pressed closer to her fingers, moaning when they dipped into an intricate section along his cockpit. His energy pulsed through her skin, but she ignored it. He took her other hand, brought it to his mouth and then bit her wrist, small droplets of blood lapped up with his glossa.

"I will never get over your taste," he told her, his optics dim and watchful, another pleasured sigh escaping from his mouthpiece when two of her fingers became three. "A treasure on such a waste of a planet, an emerald, a…"

He continued to praise her, lost his voice entirely when her left hand gripped to his lower wing. He went stiff and unmoving, and by the time he recovered, the modified screwdriver she had found was deeply embedded in the right side of his cockpit. Alexis twisted and pushed it in further, all the way to the handle.

She knew things this Alexis did not. Her time with Thundercracker in the storage shed afforded her an even more intimate examination of Cybertronians. The Seeker wouldn't be able to move or speak for several minutes. Alexis stepped away from him, brought his right hand toward her, finding the hidden release to his wrist guard. Her finger slipped inside the opening, searching for… she found it. Alexis exchanged her forefinger for her thumb, lifted his arm up towards the overhead opening that was the only entrance and the only escape, and then applied pressure.

His entire hand folded back, a grappling hook exploding out, flying up and up, out the ceiling's hole and beyond, tugging and wrapping around something unseen outside. Just in time, for Starscream was gaining mobility. She put her hands around his head, pressed against him, the grappling hook reeling them upwards and out.

Alexis jumped away as soon as she saw the deck. It was early morning by the looks of it. She was on a barge of some sort, one that had long ago been burned and destroyed, the remnants of metal curled and bent unnaturally.

This was the prison he had made for Alexis, an oil rig. One that had obviously been used by the Decepticons and discarded. Alexis ran until she couldn't anymore, until she was stopped by a guard rail. She looked down.

She was surrounded by water. Nothing but water. And still the need to escape and get away could not be overridden, not with the combined mental resolve of both her and the other. She felt hope and relief so heavily that tears were running from her eyes, blinding her momentarily. The sky was so beautiful. She'd forgotten what a cool breeze felt like, how still and peaceful it could be before the night gave way to dawn.

Alexis climbed onto the rail, wrestled with fear for a good minute and a half as she tried to push herself into jumping when her destination was so far below.

There could be sharks. The water could be too cold. There could be nowhere to go. And yet any of those outcomes were far better than _him_.

Her decision was taken away from her when a heavy thump vibrated through the deck of the oil rig, forcing her to fall backwards onto the abandoned construct. Someone had just landed.

The sun was rising. Shadows stretched and grew, the dull sounds of birds squawking coming from somewhere below. Starscream's voice was closer and louder, and someone was walking toward her that wasn't him.

Her hand lifted to block out the sudden light, the figure becoming more and more familiar. Alexis stood to her feet as the person began to speak. She nearly forgot to breathe.

"Come on, Screamer. We're going to be late."

"I told you to wait at the given coordinates."

"Yes, but you didn't…" Thundercracker's words faltered when he caught sight of Alexis.

She was staring up at him. He didn't seem real, but not much had in a long while. He looked down at her, curious and silent, his mouth still slightly parted from his lost words.

How could she have forgotten him? His presence was enough to set her body vibrating, his familiar body signature invasive and dominant, making her skin tight and her heart pound, the melancholy she was filled with clouded by a sudden unquenchable yearning.

Something sharp prickled against Alexis' neck, and when she fell back this time, her lids heavy and body even heavier, she stayed conscious long enough to identify that her escape had been a failure.

But at least she'd seen the sun.


	33. Fallacy

"Did you kill him?"

The female sat inside his cockpit. She was trembling, her clothes held the scout's splattered energon, her skin as well, patches on her right cheek and below her neck.

The female was angry, but far too terrified to do anything about it, her unnatural stillness a testament of her terror. Disarming the female had been far more of a task than it should have been, but he'd been distracted when he'd touched her. The scout's engines roared at that, with what must have been the last of his energy, his engine's idling as it became a soft hum until silence was all that was left.

It wasn't until the other Alexis was secured in his cockpit that she realized how to use her mouth again for something other than screaming.

"You killed him," she answered for him, her voice filled with blame, obscured with breathlessness. She bit her lip and tried to hide the tears that fell out of her large eyes. "He was the only one that understood. The only one willing to help me."

She didn't feel like his Alexis. She didn't even smell like her. TC still had to assert emotional detachment as he reminded himself that she was not his, nor anything like her. The human just happened to look like her, speak like her, her concern for another far too familiar.

Going after this Alexis had been a mistake. Having her inside of him yet another. But the things Barricade had planned for her, even if she'd been foolish, he couldn't let come to fruition.

"He wasn't going to help you," TC finally decided to speak to the female. He only defended himself against the attacking scout, but validating what had happened to Barricade now would have done no good. "I checked his logs. His travel arrangements took him nowhere near Xinn."

The girl's face darkened. She took a moment before she spoke again, but when she did her tone was volatile. "You lie! He told me all about his 'masters'," she intoned with a panic that she was trying to contain. "You mistreated him. Abused him… killed him." Her voice lowered into a shocked whisper. She took another moment to compose herself, and when she looked at his panel, it was with that same spark of boldness that reminded him far too much of his Alexis.

His spark chamber felt hollow. TC remembered the last moments he had spent with Alexis on Earth. It felt so long ago. And yet he could still hear her voice so clearly, feel that mouth of hers that went places that still made him see spots.

He'd made so many mistakes. Before they were together and after. He couldn't think of what Sunstreaker may or may not be up to with Alexis, knowing how much it infuriated and clouded his processor. He should have killed Sunstreaker long ago, even if that meant Alexis had to witness the result of him losing control. But he wouldn't make that particular mistake again, no matter what Alexis said, or how she looked at him. She'd have to understand this time. Violence was the only cure for what the Bot was doing, extermination required.

The female spoke up with an accusation, distracting TC from his thoughts. "But you never knew that he was working for the Autobots, did you?"

The Seeker focused on the female, then focused elsewhere. He forced himself to concentrate on something else than the light press of this female's body, or those eyes that were Alexis' and yet not nearly enough.

"He lied."

She narrowed her eyes, shook her head. "He had no reason to."

"If you did any research about his reputation, you would find that he did."

"I know all about his 'reputation'. They were just fabricated…"

His panel flipped around, old recordings of this universe's Barricade taking over the display. What she saw had her gasping and paling, the violence and twisted brutality on display proving all that she was unwilling to believe.

"Everything Barricade told me, he used me, he made me…" her words fell away, her mouth hardened and her eyes lowered to his panel. "Why am I still alive?" she suddenly questioned of him, as if just realizing who she was inside, and what ramifications that could hold.

"You rather you were dead?"

Her mouth flattened at that. The human's eyes started to fill with tears. She wiped them off and tried to control herself, her mouth trembling. "If you plan on taking me to one of your work camps, then yes, I do."

"Right now, I just want you to sleep."

Her eyes widened. She started to argue. "Sleep, I…" her words began to slur, and her lids quickly dropped, the effective gas he had released relieving him of any further exchange with the female.

By the time she was to wake again, he would be gone and forgotten about, but she would be reunited with her brother. TC understood that there were probably going to be consequences for altering and interfering, but with the female asleep within him, her tiny heart beating a calming and familiar rhythm, he couldn't bring himself to care.

* * *

Most of the Thundercracker's he downloaded and became lived particularly linear lives. But now and again TC would come across one that had an event that altered them irrevocably. Producing a Seeker that had either been hardened by the irregular circumstance, or became something so much different, something strange, and somehow familiar.

This Thundercracker he had transitioned to had made himself invulnerable and insusceptible to emotions and power plays. An outcome of a dedication and persistence that came from the desire to forgot and distance himself from all that had come before, from memories that still managed to plague him even after so many mega-cycles gone by.

Alexis wasn't what had changed him, nor was it the meeting of his Trinemates or the pursuance of Megatron. What changed him was simple but unexpected, was the first taste of what could have been love, but had ended up being something much more damaging.

He met Andrea during one of the Autobot and Decepticon work exchange programs, another tenuous attempt at peace. The female was cheerful and hopeful, spoke her mind, was so human, and yet so obviously altered by her life among Cybertronians, her approach toward things both curious and refreshing.

She was the first human he had a conversation with beyond the defense of her species, the first human female that looked at him not as an enemy but as an opportunity for exchange of ideas and ideals.

By the end of the year they weren't just having conversations. But he'd been so blinded by what had managed to transpire and what he had found that the Seeker was oblivious to the secretive manner of their relationship. Thundercracker believed it to be the need for privacy, something he understood in the manner that he did not want to share her, not with words, not with unneeded revelations to those around them.

She was his. And the plans they made, the things she told him, that only concerned them.

The Seeker believed everything because he believed in her. Because he didn't believe the rumors about her and the Autobot scout Bumblebee.

He should have though. And when she came to his quarters before her departure to Earth, coming to his berth and not leaving it for two days. He mistook her actions for a declaration of intent, believing he knew her by then.

Thundercracker didn't know her at all though. And when he came online the third day, his quarters empty, the female gone, it would be another week before the oncoming truth altered him.

He saw Andrea for the last time on Earth with Optimus Prime, with her friends and family, driving off with the Autobot scout. And it wasn't until then that he understood the perceptible strain that had been there when she came to his quarters. She had known of what she needed, but taken what she wanted from him.

All her words meant nothing. Her promises had been lies. Andrea had reeled him in only to toss him back.

She was worse than one of those passing femmes because he knew she didn't use him, but truly, genuinely cared. But in the end she'd been too afraid to stay, too riddled with the abnormality of being with a Decepticon. Too scared to give up her life on Earth, too loyal to completely abandon the Autobot scout.

She deceived herself. She deceived him, which wouldn't have been so tragic if she'd done it intentionally.

That he could have understood.

* * *

"Andrea." The name hadn't left his glossa in over 6 megacyles. A name that he had managed to bury and forget and erase. Too much had happened since he last saw the female, to him, to Decepticons, to Cyberton.

Megatron had been missing for over 70 years, the Decepticon forces scattered and lost to internal struggles. Thundercracker had been beyond the Decepticon cause since Starscream took command, a command that was under constant strain. It was a wonder the Decepticons survived his transition to power.

He hadn't traveled to this sector of space since… since her. Thundercracker had no reason to. Earth had become a trigger to memories he had long abandoned and refused to acknowledge. And even as Earth advanced and humans expanded their territory, the Seeker was able to keep his distance.

Until now. Starscream had summoned him to a space port close to the humans' moon. A summons he would have usually ignored, if not for the favor that he owed.

The female was with a group of Autobots and humans that were slowly making their way to the docking bay. Upon recognizing whom exactly was addressing the female, they went on the defensive. Undaunted, the female moved around the armed Bots, approaching him not with boldness, but obvious interest.

"I'm Alexis." She smiled up at him, devoid of guile, so full of kindness that he felt his spark clench and his intakes clog. "Andrea was my grandmother." She examined him more closely, not put off by the Decepticon symbol on his wings, now showing an obvious fascination that made him dizzy and hot and so at a loss. "Did you know her?" She questioned of him as she flushed under his steady gaze, her cheeks infusing with an unexpected blush that made her already wide eyes shine brilliantly.

He could only nod his head.

And that was the beginning of another transition of self, this one far more serious than the last.

* * *

The granddaughter of Andrea was soft and untainted, was open to a dangerous degree, was so much what he thought Andrea had been but most certainly never was.

Ignoring Starscream's further summons, he found himself following the female. She looked like her grandmother, yet blue eyes were now green, black hair had turned brown with highlighted patches of red. She was smaller, certainly more fragile looking.

But it wasn't her startling appearance that had him pursuing Alexis, but something that had happened immediately upon her speaking to him, a tangible ache of awareness, of a connection, a strain that with the way she looked at him, pale flesh coloring and heart racing, she felt as much as he.

Six months later, despite her brothers' objections and interference, the two had become closer. The pain, the loss, the feelings of regret and anguish that Andrea had left him, all forgotten. Thundercracker made it quite clear how he felt about the female, allowing all to see, making everyone know, most certainly Alexis herself.

She left her family to be with him several months later, hardly deterred by his past or his affiliation, seeing something within him that he had yet to identify for himself, but he was desperate to nurture if it meant keeping her.

And when his spark became a part of the female, when she accepted him despite his many flaws, he understood that good things could come from tragedy. That his belief in this female wasn't going to be another phenomenal mistake, but a validation of her, of him… of _them_ , of a trust that would never be a question.

* * *

They'd only known each other for 9 months, two weeks and 3 days. They'd only been bonded for three days. Every day was a staggering experience of learning what Alexis liked and what she was passionate about, of finding out her vulnerabilities and her pains. Thundercracker knew of her regrets, of her childhood that had been ideal and filled with love until her parents had been killed by an unforeseen tragedy that had Alexis and her brothers moving to Earth with their grandfather.

She'd become bitter when she spoke of her time on Earth. Didn't like to speak of what had occurred there. Alexis was the only human child of a mixed species couple, her brothers more Cybertronian than organic. And while she had a small increment of tantalizing energon flowing in her fleshy veins, she did not have a spark, nor the abilities that her brothers were naturally given.

Alexis wasn't disregarded, but sometimes looked past. Her brothers made sure she got every opportunity that they did, and it was their persistence and her determination that had the female becoming a valuable asset, one that still had to fight for what her brothers were so easily given. Her years of experiences among the Autobots were colored with an animosity, believing her "gentle" treatment to be the result of her influential and far too protective grandfather.

"I was 18 by the time I left Earth," Alexis let him know, her small body settled inside his cockpit, the interior snug and suddenly intimate. "I was also 18 when I figured out that my life wasn't meant to be lived there."

She had spent the last couple of years traveling with her brothers, then meeting and joining an Autobot faction whose main duty was providing relief for the displaced and wounded. She was close to her brothers and a cousin that she hadn't seen since she turned 15.

Her voice was sad and pained, something that he was learning affected him greatly. Her sudden melancholy seeped under his flesh, feeling like his own. "Earth wasn't home for me." She sighed, then smiled in a manner he had yet to see yet. He internally melted, his engines picking up speed.

"You're my home now," Alexis told him, a burst of elation and joy coming off her. "Wherever you go, I want to be with you." Her smile grew, and she began to laugh, an airy melodious sound that disarmed him completely, leaving him entirely vulnerable and feeling exposed to the female that had so easily displaced his once iron-willed resolve regarding his view on humans, on almost anyone.

"I never knew I would want someone like I do you," she added to her already astounding words. The human's laughter stopped. Her hand smoothed over the seat she was on, then moved down the belt he had installed. "I want you to know that I didn't fall in love with you when I first saw you." She pointed a finger at the back of her open mouth, as if doing so would have been offensive. "But the sound of your voice certainly accelerated my feelings for you," she gently teased, the softness of her tangible affection escalating into a desire that left him heady and immediately restless. Alexis proceeded to lean forward toward his panel, suddenly serious. "Thank you for seeing me as _me_ , Thundercracker."

The female didn't object when his cockpit heated and his words softened, his spark pulsing through the small cabin as his voice and energy wrapped around her.

* * *

What had occurred leading up to just moments prior was like memories for TC. Another downloading of someone else's life that was like his own, and yet nowhere close enough.

This time as TC became conscious of his environment, of the female that was tangled inside his cabin, her breath slowly returning to normal, the Seeker was at odds at what he was shown, at what this Thundercracker felt for Alexis that was almost like how he felt for his own.

He was recovering from physical exertion. His spark was still quaking within its chamber, an obvious sign of physical resolution. And yet he was still highly aroused, his body tingling and his body tense, needing more than he could have in his alt mode, or more than she was aware that she could give him. But in time, he would teach her and… no… no… _no_ …

TC stopped the onslaught of lewd visual imagery that seemed so depraved with this Alexis inside him.

For the first time he felt like an intruder, of a witness of something he didn't want to see but couldn't help but feel. This Thundercracker had Alexis. That alone was enough to burden and snap him out of the distressing sensations.

But for the first time in a long while, he didn't know how to proceed.

And as the female began to stretch and rub and touch, saying things to him that made his spark ignite despite himself, TC knew the first thing he needed to do was land, somewhere, _anywhere_.

And to stop listening to what she was offering with her voice sounding like _that_.

But he couldn't. And that weakness almost made him slip.


	34. Incidental

Starscream was ready to give up, as was in his nature when things got too complicated, or in this case, scrambled. He had become so many different versions of what could have been himself, tackled odd situations, even odder realities, came across half a dozen Alexises, so many altered Trinemates, and all without any relevant results.

His processor felt like it was still ringing after being shoved out of that sacrificial Starscream's universe, knowing even as he was shoved out what the Seeker had planned.

Death. His and Megatron's.

And while he could relate to wanting to end the _Great_ High Lord Protector, not once had he ever considered ending himself in the process.

He was far too pragmatic for that.

Although Megatron never targeted one of his own, at least not anyone important. And while TC and Warp had been punished, the damage they endured was nothing permanent.

Starscream had never cared enough for someone to seek retribution for them, unless one counted himself.

He was selfish, vain, easily offended and highly self motivated. As was most of the Starscreams he inhabited.

This time he was stuck on Earth's moon, waiting for reinforcements in order to properly challenge Optimus Prime. Megatron never came into power in this universe, but that didn't mean the Cybertronians didn't split, the Autobots and Decepticons forming much later, but still active.

In this universe it was the Autobots that were the nefarious ones. Optimus Prime had tried to force unequivocal unity upon their species. A bitter struggle followed that instigated a separation and then birthed a war.

The Autobot leader was focused on Earth, which meant their chance was _now_. Prime had invaded Earth a year prior. He took what he needed, obsessed with rebuilding Cybertron without regard to what planets he decimated in the process, or what lifeforms got in the way.

This Prime had been psychotic for years, his processor corrupted and altered and influenced, by whom, no one really knew. But that didn't change the fact that he and his followers needed to be put down.

"The last of the arrivals are here," Warp informed Starscream. Starscream's Trine was close in this universe, from struggles they'd shared, from harsh challenges they'd endured only because they acted as one. The three were the leaders of the Decepticons, looked up to and revered.

An interesting change of circumstances.

Starscream only remained because he'd felt Alexis, and because he'd seen the manifest of the worlds that were going to join in the battle, and she had been on Renth's list.

He was just remaining to confirm it wasn't her.

Starscream quietly left his Trinemates to view the newest arrivals.

The Seeker felt her before he saw her, and even with her face covered with a delicate see-through lace, he identified her immediately, and also who she was with.

The Vildan Airaih.

If Alexis wasn't on Earth, she seemed to always be with _him._ They managed to always meet, always drawn to one another with a force that couldn't have been natural.

Starscream didn't believe in destiny, not that that lessened the resentment that still nudged and prodded him every time he saw the pair.

Somehow, it was worse than seeing her with TC. Although he had yet to see that pairing, and he'd been to so many universes he had almost lost count. The Seeker didn't remain to watch her and the Vildan further. He left the universe, even as he found he was thirsty for battle.

But let this universe's Starscream have the victory. It was, after all, the only thing that he'd focused on since the war began.

* * *

Starscream didn't enjoy doing Megatron's bidding often. Sent after some provided intel from a source that the Decepticon lord's tactician wouldn't even reveal, Starscream found himself heading toward an out of the way space station to meet a group of bounty hunters that Megatron obviously found threatening.

He'd read up on their reputation. The group was secretive and daunting and strikingly thorough, their Decepticon targets taken down with a tenacity that only came from careful planning, intimate knowledge and tightly woven tactics.

No one knew what they looked like, or even what species they were. The only reason Starscream was even able to get an audience with the group was because he had told them he held information pertaining to Megatron.

They accepted his offer and terms, but they set up the meeting place, forcing him out of his own sector of space and into an area that was isolated and that would make it easy for them to make sure he came alone.

He did. But not unarmed.

Upon his landing he headed to the tavern as directed, sitting at the corner in front of a group of paneled artwork that depicted that sector of space. And then he waited.

Starscream didn't have to wait long.

A large Rhiflo approached the Seeker, heavily armed and highly conspicuous. The patrons ignored the striking figure, even as some quickly left the bar.

She lifted a pair of her arms, the others remaining on her hips next to her weapons. Her thick, rough voice echoed through the large room. "You have information, metal?" she brusquely addressed him, her intelligent eyes sweeping over him.

Ignoring the insulting manner of her tone, he nodded his head as he sneered down at the female. "I do."

She squinted her eyes, removed a small device out of a bag on her shoulder, and directed a waiting worker drone to hand it to him.

"Upload it," she ordered.

"Not until…"

"Upload it, and then we make speech." She pointed up at the small device.

"That is not what we agreed upon."

"You don't want to share?" the Rhiflo remarked with a huff, as if talking to a child who refused to obey, not a heavily armed soldier from the Decepticon army. She shrugged her large shoulders, already dismissing him. "Then we done," she said far too easily.

She began to leave, which was not what he was looking for. If she left, he wouldn't get another chance.

"I think not," he said, a blaster folding out of his servo and down. That was enough to have most of the patrons empty the tavern. He'd take the Rhiflo on and the rest of the establishment out in order to get the information he wanted. He'd survive.

The Rhiflo stopped and turned, eyeing him with what could have been disappointment, a flash of pity. She gave him one last look and then took a step away.

That was when he heard identifiable clicks and hums, some of the customers facing him, a variety of weapons aimed at his head and chassis as he found not only was he surrounded, but most certainly fragged.

By a group he most certainly wasn't expecting.

The bounty hunters were all femmes.

* * *

This Starscream was a schemer and a plotter, not unlike himself. Only this Starscream did not act upon his power aspirations. He was dissatisfied with his life and with his position in the Decepticon army. He had thought great things waited for him upon entering Megatron's service, but he was just another menial worker among so many others, even as he tried to separate and prove himself.

He wasn't even a Seeker, a coveted title that meant advancement and acknowledgment and a freedom beyond his limited powerless state of tracker.

Starscream knew why this one was chosen to do Megatron's bidding, and it wasn't a chance for advancement as was presumed. It was because if the tracker did manage to find out the bounty hunters' identities and agenda, he could be exterminated without any lasting effects.

This Starscream was expendable, and he didn't even know it.

But the Supreme Air Commander wasn't here to prove that point, nor to save the tracker's life. As per usual, everything he did was for his own self, every action a necessary step toward what _he_ wanted.

"Do you have the information or not?" Another female approached him, a rare Tarvarian. She had the orangest hair he'd ever seen, the darkest black eyes that accentuated her yellowish flesh. Her voice was hoarse and dry, an injury of some sort that affected her speech. She held onto an eltro-lance, looking far too eager to use it.

"He doesn't know anything." Another female approached him, a slim, tall tree like Trili with a soft voice that bellied the dangerous kusarigama that was wrapped around her right shoulder, one whose sickle was covered in a poisonous substance that would have even waylaid him.

Starscream realized that the females all had something in common besides their gender and dangerous weapons. The information was relayed subconsciously from the useless tracker: they were all from a species that came from worlds that the Decepticons had destroyed or resourced, ones that Megatron has personally _visited_.

But there was a fourth in the group who had yet to make herself known. Starscream had no doubt as to who it was, or rather, who it wasn't. Another odd coincidence that made him feel as if he was entangled in some twisted conspiracy... or fantasy.

"Lex?" The Rhiflo looked behind her broad shoulders, her thick brownish green skin tightening under the small precise movement.

The smallest figure of all came out of the shadows. The female put her blaster in the holster on her right thigh, plucked something out of a pocket on her long jacket and threw it up at him.

Something impacted against the left side of his chassis, electricity shot out and through his body, disabling his weapons and making his blaster fold away.

"Now what?" the human female wanted to know, exasperation in her voice. She refused to look at him. "He knows who we are."

"We kill him," the Rhiflo easily offered, motioning once more to the eager Tarvarian. "Renn, see what he knows and finish him."

"Here?" Renn asked, even as her eyes roamed along the Seeker's weak spots, preparing to target him.

"Here," the Trili confirmed dispassionately, her tiny eyes not leaving Starscream.

"We don't kill," the human spoke up firmly. "Not even his kind."

"Then what?" Renn questioned, her small cold hand sliding down Starscream's prone left pediform. He didn't give her the satisfaction of pulling away, and she got quickly bored.

"We take him with us, get what we can from him, and hold him until our job is through." The human approached the group slowly, walked around the bottom of the Seeker's ped, her attention now on him. She had the most interesting outfit on, even her face was covered in a black metal breathing mask that obscured her pale skin, only allowing a glimmer of those familiar green eyes.

"We still going through with it?" the Trili asked of the females. None of them were worried about what he was hearing. None of them were threatened by him at all. His tank bubbled with bitterness. The need to prove how terribly wrong they all were was highly compelling. But that would have ruined everything.

"We are." the Rhiflo confirmed after Alexis nodded her head. "Get up, metal. Time for you to be useful."

"I have a name."

"No doubt, but for now, we must do something about your size," the human finally spoke to him. Her voice was altered and brisk, she was heavily preoccupied, and yet just having her address him made delicious sparks ignite underneath his chassis. Lust burned through his circuits when she momentarily ascertained his form, his stance, her focus momentarily stilling on his watchful optics. The human pulled another device out of her pack that she threw at Starscream. This time a small module attached itself to his right ped before burrowing beneath his flesh. Twenty seconds later his form compacted and decreased, leaving him still tall, but more the organics' size.

"Move it, metal," the Rhiflo commanded, nudging him with her bulky hands behind his backpanel. She was now taller than he was, and with his weapons offline, well, he still could have taken her. But not them all, not without damaging himself.

Starscream wasn't prepared to do that, not yet.

His optics wandered to the back of the human female. Intrigued by the way she moved, by the way her uniform clung to her slim body that was obscured by so much cloth.

She wasn't his Alexis, but that didn't stop him from interfering and interacting, his lessons on that subject far from learned.

New ideas formed.

* * *

This Starscream had been trying to prove himself to the High Lord Protector for mega-cycles. Yet all it took was two weeks for him to ingratiate himself upon this diverse female group. He had given them information that allowed them to take down three notorious Decepticons, which allowed him to witness the highly motivated females first hand, and gave him the opportunity to prove his worth.

They didn't trust him, but they weren't threatening to kill him anymore, especially not after they confirmed the information he gave them regarding Megatron.

Starscream hadn't learned much about the females, but knew each was dangerous in their own right, not viscous, but cunning, not seeking revenge, but wanting validation of their cause, of what the Decepticons had done to their homeworlds and people.

This Megatron was as cruel as his, and yet crafty on an entirely different level. He used his appealing personality to enslave the minds of the weak and susceptible, gathering not just a following of Decepticons, but of so many other species that he was able to manipulate and use and lie to.

So even when he attacked a planet, even when he destroyed civilizations, he was able to twist the truth, build it into something in his favor, making the survivors of his wicked deeds seem as if plotters and terrorists, or even better, allowing them to take the blame for his own acts of terror.

All in all, no one believed the humans when they spoke of what Megatron had done to their planet and their people, nor any of the other species that he ravaged and ruined and destroyed. How so many could ignore and dismiss the evident brutalities and high loss of life was a testament to Megatron's sway.

The High Lord Protector had even turned the Autobots into outlaws and fugitives, forcing Optimus Prime and his army to go into hiding.

Landing on a small unknown and hidden planet, he watched the females set up camp. A large fire was lit, food prepared, as the women spoke quietly with enviable camaraderie.

"You ever breed with an organic?" Renn spoke up, a large smile on her tanned yellow flesh. Over the past few weeks the Tarvarian gave him the most attention, beyond the interrogations and tests of trust. The female was attracted to him, her slim tail gently wagging whenever she was near him a clear indication. Renn identified where his attention was. "Lex doesn't like men." She chuckled from some unknown joke. She always seemed to be laughing about something. Considering she was one of only a couple of hundred of Tarvarians that had survived Megatron's savagery, it was a wonder she had anything left to laugh about. "And so most certainly doesn't breed with Cybertronians."

"Then she does… _breed_?" he asked the female, his optics going back to Alexis. His intakes hitched when for the first time she removed her head gear, revealing short hair, pale luminous flesh, and a mouth that had no right to be hidden… ever.

"She tried… once," Renn revealed, her eyes twinkling with mischief before dimming in silent contemplation. "But that didn't work out so well." She frowned. Whatever she knew, she wasn't going to tell him.

"And how exactly did you females end up together?" he asked of her, because keeping her talking always led to unintentional reveals.

Renn laughed at that, stopping when the Rhiflo came over and handed her a skewer of meat and vegetables. She eagerly ripped up the food between her tiny sharp teeth, still talking even as she chewed.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Why's that?"

"Well, it started in a brothel and…"

"All of you?" His gaze went back to the human female. Starscream couldn't seem to look away. She was lovely, like his own Alexis. Even a dim copy of Alexis was capable of renewing once idle considerations, leaving him focused and deliciously wary, inspiring the Seeker beyond his given task.

"Yes."

"Even her?" He nodded his head toward Lex who was in deep conversation with Inc. The human ignored his obvious attention. But that was how she dealt with him, an indifference directed at him that could have been anger, but somehow felt more like a grudge.

Renn took another large bite of her food, wiping her right hand on a thick patch of grass below her feet before she grabbed a container of water. Her voice lowered with evident empathy and sadness. "She may seem innocent, but she's seen her share of, well, things that shouldn't be seen…. Or experienced…" She took a large swallow of water, wiped her hand off with her long sleeve. "What's your interest in her anyway? You want to breed her, right?…" She nodded her head. "We Tarvarians enjoy breeding. So do the humans from what I've heard. And Lex does prefer unusual…"

Something shot the tip of the Tarvarian's skewer off, making what little meat was left to explode against the female's face. She scowled, jumping to her feet as she pulled the electro-lance out of the ground where she had buried it near her feet.

Alexis put her gun away, approached the female, gave Starscream a pointed stare and dragged her friend away, but not before growling at the Seeker, a most enjoyable sound that made shivers run down his backpanel. Starscream was so absorbed in himself that he didn't notice the human return. She kicked at his pediform, indicating for him to stand. Her green eyes were alight with agitation.

" _What_ do you think you're doing?"

"In regards to what, human?"

She never talked to him, not if she could help it. Her near presence made his skin gently vibrate. A far cry from how the real Alexis affected him, making his thoughts easier to manage.

The female narrowed her eyes, bit her lip hard, making his optics drift down to her mouth only to return to her stern gaze that seared his skin as if she'd touched him. "Everything. You're a Decepticon. I _know_ this. And you've had ample opportunity to escape, but you stay here. So what is your deal?"

It took him a moment to respond. Now that her voice was no longer altered by the mask, he found it most pleasing, so familiar, the fury of her words a further reason for his systems to warm.

"And if I said I stay because of you?"

She made a face at that, actually choked on what could have been a laugh. "That's ridiculous."

He straightened up, crossing his arms over his cockpit as if to imitate her own tense stance. "You've been watching me for weeks. You must have come to some conclusion."

She shook her head, scrunching her nose with disapproval. "I think it's _you_ that has been watching _me_." Lex took a step closer to him, hardly intimated by his size, or the danger he represented. She lowered her voice, glaring at him. "I don't know who exactly you are with the Cons, but I will find out."

"You will be disappointed."

"And why is that?"

"I'm a tracker." He cringed, disgusted with the word and implication. "My real name is Starscream."

She didn't know the name. He felt bitter disappointment, unaccustomed to not being recognized.

"Why lie?"

"Because the truth is harder to believe."

"And what, exactly, is the truth?"

"That I want to take down Megatron as much as you."

The female narrowed her eyes, then stared at him for a good minute and a half as her brain analyzed what he'd said. She didn't believe him.

Walking back to the other females, Lex stopped and turned, catching him staring at her. She made another disgruntled face at the Seeker then proceeded to tell Starscream what she thought of him by the way her fingers met in a small triangle of flesh, an indecent non-human gesture that made the Rhiflo guffaw loudly.

This Alexis may not have been his, she may not even have been adorable like that young one, but seeing Alexis as a bounty hunter of all things was enough to motivate him and make him want to continue the once tedious undertaking.

But if he found Alexis, she would be TC's not his. If he brought her back it would be Thundercracker who got to press his spark against and into the sensuous open current that was the female's essence, not him.

He never really thought any of this through. Only followed that urge to locate her, which got overshadowed by the fun he'd been having, which got blinded by the tedium that reminded him of his purpose.

To gather further information about Megatron.

To find Alexis before TC did.

But the deeper he got into this hunt, the less it felt like a competition and the more it felt like... something far too serious.

He didn't need these truths the universes were trying to teach him. Things were better when his obsession was Megatron, so much clearer.

Yes, power was what he wanted. Power was all he cared for.

He would find the female, return her to...

No.

He would find the female, take her back to...

Slag.

No wonder he hadn't thought things through, he couldn't even get past what came after.

If he ever found her at all.

But them _not_ finding the human was far more agreeable a prospect than watching her return to his Trinemate.


	35. Misstep

The fist thing Alexis did, after her cumbersome eyelids opened was to try to stand, which took far too long. She was disoriented by whatever Starscream had shot her up with. Her body felt like molasses, and her brain was mush.

There was no way out. No way to get away. She was stuck here.

Alexis knew what helplessness was, but this was so much worse. She couldn't help herself, couldn't help the other Alexis either. But she couldn't tolerate the thought of leaving this Alexis behind with that Starscream.

Her only way out was the same way Alexis had arrived. Which didn't make solving the problem any easier.

But since seeing Thundercracker, she was able to think better, more for herself. Something about his presence had made it easier to manage her counterpart's memories. She was no longer overwhelmed by them. She needed to use the afforded clarity to get Alexis out of this terrible confinement, and she needed to do it soon.

* * *

He landed silently. A small vibration ran underneath the metal floor alerting Alexis of his arrival. She felt sick. Definitely felt a little giddy. Her stomach knotted hard with a tangible, terrible pang. And as Thundercracker walked slowly toward her, coming into the small compartment where her living quarters were, she felt a sense of relief.

He was here to release her. He had to be. Alexis _needed_ him to be. But she didn't know him. He wasn't her Thundercracker. But that didn't stop Alexis from looking at him as if hypnotized. Her heart lurched violently inside her chest making her vision spotty. She told herself to breathe. But the idea of freedom from this prison was too much of a hopeful prospect that she couldn't think of anything else.

Until he looked her in the eyes with an unexpected gentleness gleaming through his confusion. "I've come to free you," he informed her.

That was all it took.

Alexis went to him. Her body fell limp against his own as she wrapped her arms around him as much as she could.

He'd _found_ her. He'd returned to her.

The Seeker went rigid with bewilderment, but he didn't push her away like he should have.

She truly knew he wasn't her Seeker, but she needed just a moment to believe that he was. Perhaps it was a necessary weakness, but Alexis felt entitled, and so terribly tired of it all. His body was wider than her Thundercracker's, most certainly hotter, he even smelled different. But not enough to draw Alexis away from her little delusion. His energy helped with that, it was so much like her own TC's that she denied the subtle difference her body recognized, even as she clung to his body from sheer desperation.

But when she felt his hand trace a curious path up the middle of her back, Alexis lifted her head upwards as she lightly tugged his own down.

She didn't mean to press her mouth to his.

His lack of response had the realness of the situation catching up to her. She was depraved. She was _crazy_. She felt so ashamed. The things he must have thought of her, which didn't matter, but were starting to. The things her own Thundercracker would have felt though was what had Alexis sharply letting him go and stepping away as if physically struck, the beginning of a headache digging under her left temple, a familiar physical reminder that what she was doing, the other Alexis wouldn't have liked.

She was stupid. She was susceptible. She was weak.

She missed Thundercracker so badly that she was willing to…

Tears started to well in her eyes, that familiar emotional pain inside her chest and heart burning brighter, with a vengeance. But then her thoughts exploded out of her brain when Thundercracker tugged on her hand and brought her back to him, his mouth tumbling against hers with an unexpectedly swift motion. She found herself responding to his show of passion, the familiarity of his lips making her willingly forget all over again.

Alexis couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't believe he…

Soon enough he had her cornered against the wall, only to lift her up against it. He rumbled softly when she wrapped her legs around his body, his hot mouth not leaving her own even as they adjusted to the tight press of his cockpit against her.

Alexis hadn't felt lust like this since her pregnancy. She felt ravenous and out of control, a heat permeating throughout her body that made her want so many things all at once, all of them from him.

 _No_ … not from him… from…

Her thoughts were far away, her reasoning hiding behind them. His energy was hot and blinding. His mouth had already begun to learn her own, making her pulse spike as she hummed with content, her hands unable to stop feeling him. His face, his arms, the familiar sharpness of those striking wings.

He wasn't her TC.

He pressed her neck back only to rub his mouth against the skin there before swiping tentatively out with his glossa. She shivered, he trembled, they both nearly lost their balance.

She was a horrible person.

And despite the plaguing guilt of what she was doing while being another Alexis, and with a different TC, she still let him touch her, his fingers tracing her spine, his mouth and teeth marking her bare shoulder now, from where her shirt had been tugged down.

And then he was holding Alexis as her head settled below his shoulder, his strong arms supporting her as his engines purred hypnotically. Alexis listened to the stark sound of his overworked intakes as she too tried to catch her breath. She held onto him, transfixed beyond the lust, feeling centered and at peace in a way she hadn't in quite some time. His energy brushed against her as he slowly eased her down. She opened her eyes, looked up at him, even managed to try to smile.

It was too easy to believe. So much easier to give in. She blamed her overused imagination.

This time when he took her hand, it was to lead her out of the prison. Or he would have, if something didn't explode behind them, making Alexis go tumbling back as something crashed between them.

Starscream.

* * *

By the time the smoke cleared, Thundercracker was on his knees with a thinly spiked weapon protruding through his chassis. His optics swelled with light before dimming completely, his body tumbling to the side.

Alexis couldn't seem to scream out loud, but she did in her mind. Hot tears were running down her cheeks, stinging on her skin. This TC wasn't hers. But her heart couldn't seem to tell the difference, a horrifying coldness spreading through her body and head.

"You've proved you point," Starscream hissed as he stalked toward her, pulling her off the ground only to push her against a modified desk, his body trapping her.

She was dizzy, stunned and hurting. Her face and arms had been cut in the explosion, blood trickling from a cut on her mouth. He'd been watching them. Starscream had seen. He'd been watching Alexis for who knows how long, for reasons she didn't want to think about.

His face was too close. His arms were too strong. Starscream leaned in toward her, blocking her view of Thundercracker, then shaking her until she opened her eyes as she tried to focus and remember how to speak.

But he wasn't what she wanted to see. Nor was Thundercracker who she knew was behind him, energon leaking from that horrifying wound. He had to be alive. Alexis couldn't think otherwise, not even with a TC that wasn't her own.

It was her fault.

She had reacted in a way she most certainly shouldn't have, interfering with her counterpart's life in a manner she wasn't meant to. She'd always accepted each universe as if a role to play. For Alexis knew what to say, how to act, always knowing how the other would have responded. But some roles were harder to slip into than others, and always constantly acting as the other was not always possible. Not when she was presented with monsters like this.

Not that this Alexis was weak. She just wasn't accustomed to such a disruptive, manipulative presence, even as she was aware how she was being influenced and coerced and most certainly damaged. From the prolonged confinement, from being around him too long. She'd lived a good life before the Decepticons' takeover of Earth, had parents that loved her and a brother who looked after her. Knowing that she survived this long, showed that she was capable of things she wasn't even aware of. Enduring, for one.

"I am so sick of you," Alexis finally managed to rasp, her eyes leveling viciously on Starscream's focused optics. These roughly spoken words, she knew, were her own. "Release her, and I won't…"

"You won't _what_?" he goaded her, not even noticing her verbal mistake.

She laughed weakly, the corner of her mouth lifting as she indicated for him to look down. Her shirt was blotched with red. Something had cut her open quite effectively, and she was quite sure it was still embedded in her flesh. She needed medical attention, most certainly the kind that he couldn't provide.

It wasn't how she wanted out, but she would take it. Any hope of a chance of escape was better than none.

Her headache had disappeared, replaced with a keen awareness. Alexis didn't want to die. But she couldn't seem to manage to live either. Her vision was going in and out, her knees had gone weak. She pushed him away when he tried to catch her, the hard metal floor beneath making her wound tear more deeply upon impact.

Alexis slapped his hand away when he tried to touch her side, hissed at him when he tried and finally managed to restrain her. He moved his hand under her shirt, his hot digits on her bloodied side. A low humming sound started that abated when he pulled his hand back, pieces of collected metal sticking to his digits that he flung to the side of the room.

Starscream's hand returned to her side, fingers splayed over her still bleeding wound. She tried to push him off. The pain was unbearable, making her vision fade and the room spin violently. Alexis tried to say something, but he moved above her, his mouth bearing down on her own as he took advantage of her injury, the wet feel of his glossa poking over her bottom lip.

She managed to get her legs free, used what space she had to roll away from him only to twist around, her leg swinging out hard as she kicked out at his chassis. She was rewarded with black spots from the physical exertion, the feel of acid ripping up her throat as her stomach rolled. Alexis tried to stand, but she failed. Her environment began to slip away on the third attempt and she began to pass out. But then Alexis felt him picking her up, which had her panicking all over again as she realized he was taking her to the bed.

After everything Starscream wasn't even going to take her to a medic, which had her seething silently as he finished up his attentions on her wound, cleaning and bandaging her with some slick substance that warmed and thickened into a protective coating over her gash.

"I need medical attention," she managed to tell him, knowing that wasn't going to be enough, but she had more to add. "I'm…" She took a deep breath, tried to swallow, but she couldn't. "I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

His optics dimmed and he seemed to forget what he was doing, obviously stunned, working on excited. She felt nauseous again. With everything the other Alexis had gone through, this wasn't exactly how she wanted to get her freedom. But she would lie if she had to, deceive as she and the other had witnessed far too many times from their Starscreams.

She would make him believe, hoping that he didn't really know how a human female actually got pregnant. He was weak for Alexis. He was delusional and obviously obsessed, and maybe, perhaps, a part of him actually cared.

"You are carrying my _progeny_?" His voice was in awe, his hand was pressed along her shoulder. He pushed some of her hair back, his fingers brushing along her cheek and neck.

"I need to be checked over," Alexis reasoned, avoiding his optics because she despised what she saw there. "I need to make sure that…" She shook her head, her voice rising with a panic that felt so real. But even the idea of being pregnant with this monster's child was unbearable.

He pressed his body against Alexis and scanned her, not caring that he was lying in her blood, the sheets now stained with it. "That would explain the sudden change of your energy signature." He shivered as he wrapped his arms around her, ignoring her attempt to get away. "You feel like…" He smiled brightly, his entire face structure changing dramatically. She forced herself to look away, distancing herself from the results of her cruel lie. "…like nothing I would have thought possible, Alexis. So vibrant, like my own pulsing little star…" He went on, ignoring her discomfort. She managed to move away from him to the edge of the bed. His hand followed after her, gripping to her arm, refusing to lose contact. "This is the answer!" he said with zeal, his optics bright and full. He grinned even wider, happy and pleased and so very centered on her. "You _will_ bear my sparkling. You will learn to care for me because we will be connected. You will never be able to…"

He _felt_ her? Alexis pondered that momentarily, never considering that a possibility. She could think about it later, right now she was grateful it cemented her lie, gave it a truth she couldn't have managed on her own.

A whining sound began, turning into the most painful thing she'd ever heard in her life. Alexis covered her ears and curled into herself. Now the room was really spinning, but that didn't stop her from watching with amazement as Thundercracker got up off the floor. The sound emissions changed pitch, no longer hurting her. She was carefully dragged off the bed, picked up and held at Thundercracker's side. Starscream cursed and howled but not for long, the emissions increased, immobilizing the Seeker.

A long blaster folded out of TC's servo, burning bright and igniting. The blinding blast discharged right through Starscream, a large gaping fiery hole where his cockpit used to be. The weapon was put away, and she was picked up properly, given the opportunity to watch as Starscream's optics burned out.

He was dead. He had to be. But knowing their resilience, she couldn't believe it. She couldn't tell if these Seekers got along or not, didn't know anything about their relationship at all. But for TC to do that for her, it felt off somehow, and far too gratifying.

Alexis was taken to the top deck of the oil rig. The Seeker gave himself room as his body returned to its original impressive size, his already healing wound a frightening reminder of what had occurred. He flipped down onto the deck, picked her up as he bent down. Parts slowly moved and shifted and folded until he managed, with obvious difficulty, to turn into a sleek fighter jet, Alexis now seated in his cockpit.

"You do feel like a pulsing star," TC finally spoke to her, his vocals were momentarily garbled before evening out with familiar inflections. "But not like _his_."

Alexis blushed and cringed, her side hurting. She felt groggy, so very sleepy. She didn't think she'd be remaining in this universe much longer. But she had to look out for this Alexis, had to know she was going to be okay.

"Where are you taking me?" She didn't recognize her own scratched and weakened voice.

"Off planet. I know of a medical station that doesn't ask any questions."

Alexis looked outside the canopy, watching the landscapes fade as their altitude increased. She took a moment to settle herself, to find what she wanted to say.

"I don't know why you are doing this, but thank you." She felt the blood rush to her face as she thought of how she had come onto him so strongly. How he'd reacted in kind. "And… sorry."

He didn't respond for a couple of heartbeats, obviously unaccustomed to such a word. " _Sorry_?"

Alexis folded her hands together, then dropped them in her lap. She covered her eyes with her hand, blocking out her visual surroundings. "What happened, it's my fault. I mean I'm not sorry he's dead. That is, if he's dead… I just saw you and, well, I was relieved and so very pleased to see you, and when you told me… I mean _freedom_ , that is... It's not just because you came for me, or saved me. I mean what I did, how I acted, I, you see…" Alexis couldn't stop rambling. She felt nervous and helpless again, and it was playing havoc with her thoughts and tongue as her guilt tried to make a reappearance.

"I'm taking you off planet, human," he spoke up as if to remind her, his statement rumbling softly.

She nodded her head, and her hand fell away from her eyes. They were already outside Earth's atmosphere. The darkness made his panels glow warmly, the planet becoming a beacon of contaminated light that echoed of a loss of health, of an invasion that had not ended, and could not be stopped, not with...

He began to speak again, his intonations igniting with a subtle tensity. This Thundercracker wasn't used to going ignored or unanswered. He seemed confounded by her ability to be distracted while within him. "And yet your thoughts are on me, and not on where we are going. You are curious, contradictory. You should be frightened of me, and yet you _overtake_ me instead. Should be terrified of where I might be taking you, and yet your bio readings have normalized."

Her gaze returned to inside the small cabin, "It's been a long couple of days, and I want to trust you."

"You have no reason to trust me, _Alexis_."

She shivered when he said her name, far too susceptible to the low hum of the tone he used. Alexis forced herself to breathe. Just hearing her name said by him, like _that_ was far too overwhelming, reminding her of the predicament she was in.

"Are you going to kill me?"

"No."

"Trick me somehow?"

"Purpose?"

"Why did you help me?" She suddenly needed to know, her hands unintentionally fisting against the seat.

"I didn't help you. I took you away from Starscream," he firmly corrected her. "That, young one, is a difference."

Yes, he was a Decepticon. He was an unknown and dangerous factor no matter how he appeared or what he had done. And yet she didn't feel threatened. She felt free, felt safe. And somehow knew that the other Alexis was going to be…

"Are all humans as sexually open to their choice of conquest as you are?"

Her hands tangled into the seat-belt. Her body began to awkwardly shift. She forced herself to become still, far too sensitive to the press of him around her. "I…"

"How long have you been isolated from your own species?" He continued with his own inquiry, and somehow she knew he was studying her.

Both these questions were leading to something they couldn't. She messed up, badly. Alexis knew that. She really hadn't meant to.

"Your distress is unnecessary," he let her know as if sensing where her thoughts were going. "Pursue me, when you are repaired, or don't. We need not see each other again… I am _not_ Starscream."

He believed what she did was a result of the things Starscream had done to her, a glitch. She had to stop herself from correcting him. It was better for him to think that.

And as that universe started to fade away only to quicken into another one, she found everything different yet again. Another life to learn, another Alexis to become.

At least for now, she still knew who she was. Alexis also knew then that no one was coming after her. No one could possibly find her.

She may not have been completely alone, but she _was_ all on her own.


	36. Grapple

Perhaps TC would have appreciated a universe with Alexis and a version of himself being together, if he knew what was to come after. But first, he had to repair the damages that Thundercracker had done to this Alexis when she found out how close he and her grandmother had been from Bumblebee. Alexis did not leave the Seeker as the grandfather had expected. But that information had strained the relationship due to the sensitive nature of her having been compared to her grandmother for far too long. The damage had fortunately only been momentarily, other truths coming to light that made their bond an even closer one.

TC knew what damages could come from lying to someone you cared about. He had, after all, pretended to be someone else entirely in order to stay close to his Alexis.

He and Alexis being together, the Seeker was learning, was something entirely uncommon. And whom she usually ended up with, while not as surprising as it could have been was equally disturbing. Starscream, if she happened to cross paths with him, always Airaih if she ever left Earth. And there were some other odd pairings in there that managed to derail and stupefy him.

He found intense loneliness could be could be triggered by the simplest things. By words, by a phrase, even from a familiar gesture. By a version of his Trinemate, by _her_ , even a stranger. Or just a universe that was familiar in a way that weighed him down and left him heavily set on his purpose.

TC would search for as long as it took. But Alexis had such a short life-span, something he was thinking about more and more. A fact that nurtured his despair and made him desperate for results, not universes that mocked and belittled him, showing him things that truly he never needed to witness.

Like _now_.

Like what was going on in an interrogation room.

TC could sense the other Alexises easily now, and while he was learning it was better to avoid most, sometimes, out of a sheer sparkache, he needed to see one to witness her breathing, talking, anything that made her more real than the vivid impressions that Alexis was starting to become.

Not that he was forgetting her. But recalling her could be damaging and lead him on a path of pain and destruction that held no place on the road he needed to travel.

He would find himself unhinged at the most inopportune times. TC didn't like seeing Alexis with others. Witnessing her interact with them did not fail to afflict him, to bring him to a state of misery that was as potent as what intimate betrayal would have felt like. He was having a more difficult time distinguishing what was his and what certainly wasn't, his spark exposing him to new forms of weakness and conflict by its inability to separate the visual input from the deeply rooted bond he held with his own Alexis.

His optics burned as he stared through the thick glass of the interrogation room. The odd pair inside did not see him, which would have at least interrupted them.

Alexis was chained to a chair. But by the looks of it, not for long. Her body language was tense yet remarkably calm considering a particularly vicious Con was with her. She began to speak to him, her tone particularly soft, yet firm, and entirely bewitching. The Decepticon obeyed every word she uttered as if some puppy eager to please its master.

"You did good. Thank you," she praised Barricade when he undid the last manacle that had held her right foot to the metal floor beneath. Despite being free, the female didn't move, her attention cautiously placed on the fearsome scout who towered above her.

The hunter bent down before the small human, his right servo stretched toward her. The female leaned down toward him, used her hand to lift the scout's face more level to her own. Her fingers traced the sharp edges of his face, Barricade's optics following her movements in obvious rapture, his engines purring quick and hot.

"Now it is I who is indebted to you," Alexis spoke more clearly despite the quietness of her words.

" _Yes_ ," the scout hissed with a rumble of pleasure. One of his large digits moved up her outer thigh when she began to stretch her body. He stopped as if caught in something he wasn't allowed, not yet. Barricade stilled, his optics pinning her completely until he lowered his head in restless obeisance.

"Get me out of here? I need to save my brother." Barricade's head shot up at her request. He looked intently over her tiny form again, the female's reflection mirrored in his darkened optics. He nodded his head, obeying her without argument, ever eager to comply. He backed away from the female, then came back with her weapons. Alexis quickly checked them, paying careful attention to a modified gun that she holstered on her right thigh.

The scout left the room momentarily, returning after he made sure the hallways were clear. Then he picked the human up, placed her inside his chassis and rolled into his alt mode, speeding down the empty corridor.

Explosions rocked the base several long minutes later.

TC did not follow.

* * *

More and more, he would identify that it wasn't his Alexis from a good distance. He didn't need to see her. TC didn't think he could take much more of that. And while he always considered himself to have a highly sophisticated reasoning matrix, he also knew how easily it was to be corrupted by the untruths the universes kept offering him.

If he had any less of a processor he would have started to doubt his mission, and his belief that there was an Alexis out there that was his, _all_ his. One that didn't come to him just because he could protect her, didn't go to his berth because of the allowances she got in return, even if it was for the safety of her family.

That he never needed to experience again.

He'd seen so much already. He knew he was going to see much more.

TC could take it. All of it.

Because none of it was real, not for him. And as long as he knew it wasn't real the intense jealously could be handled, the plaguing disgust could be dealt with. He would find her. He would free her from Sunstreaker's influence.

He had to.

Because that was all that mattered.

Not his sanity. Not the doubts that tried to form about himself, not the humiliations he suffered and endured or the questions that came when he faced an Alexis that was so astoundingly different.

And not in the manner that made his so special.

Slag. He was so lonely for her.

But he was determined too, and would remain focused.

These universes could frag themselves.

He would find Alexis. Or spend the rest of his existence looking for her. Either way, he wasn't giving up. He never did.

* * *

She was fraggin' married to Starscream. She was his bondmate. She had spawned Starscream's progeny. She was strong. So fragile. So dedicated.

And she'd been without Starscream for six years.

This Thundercracker had gone with her to look for his Trinemate, but they'd found nothing. The human remained on an isolated moon where she could safely monitor activity, the search for her bondmate her driving factor in life.

He would have considered her obsessed, if not for the way she still managed to nurture her children. Would have considered her foolhardy if he hadn't been so fraggin' enamored with the female. A feeling that had remained throughout the years. One that he kept hidden and contained and managed, not out of respect for his missing Trinemate, but because he wasn't what she wanted, he never had been.

But knowing that did not tap the feelings he held for Alexis.

Thundercracker saw her every couple of months when he brought her tools and supplies and food items. Began to see her even more when she began to stay on Starscream's ship as she monitored the beginning of her sons' education.

She was revered because of her mate, idolized because she had brought new Cybertronian life into the world.

Her children were as diverse as the relationship that had spawned them. Clipper, the youngest, was more sensitive. His more human brother Skyler was the fearless one, undaunted by his brother's already large size, blindly unhindered by his puny, fleshy body. The four-year-olds were growing up so fast. Especially Clipper, who despite his mother's humanity, had been born entirely Cybertronian.

Thundercracker had thought that Alexis having them would have helped her move on from the disappearance of her mate. He'd been wrong. And maybe it shouldn't have irked him so terribly that she just couldn't give up, but lately it was starting to.

Which is where TC came in. Finding himself in another universe where Alexis was so close, and yet so far out of reach. Another one that he couldn't distance himself, or lie to himself out of, even though he really should have.

Because she may not have been his, but she was the fraggin' closest he'd come yet. TC didn't know if it was because the female had bonded to Starscream and held her life signature like a Seeker's, didn't know if it was because she was perceptive, and thoughtful, and so ethereal in her beauty that she didn't just remind him of Alexis, but _was_ her, but suddenly what was real and what wasn't didn't seem like such a broad distinction.

Because this was an Alexis that was _her_. Their lives had been so different and yet their personalities were so similar. Both were survivors, were believers in a higher source, were capable of hope and unrelenting belief, were filled with so much love.

Being near _her_ made him crack. Seeing _their_ children made him hollow out. Until she gave him something that only an Alexis could: faith.

* * *

"So you are from…"

"…another universe," he supplied. He wasn't nervous, but his senses were alive and vivid. He'd taken a chance, told this Alexis who he was, where he was from and what he was trying to do.

And somehow he knew she'd believe him.

His flesh was electrified, and his spark was throwing painful fits that made his insides squirm and tighten in a manner none of the other Alexises had managed.

Alexis took a moment, thought about all that he'd said. Then she stood to her feet, touched the bottom of one of his nearby digits and said something he never expected.

"I want to help you." She frowned. Dropped her head momentarily, only to lift it back up as she stared deep into his optics. She flushed. Took a couple steps back and dropped her hand away from him as if she had been hurt.

"I know what it's like to have lost someone. To not know what's happened to them. To want to find them so fraggin' badly." Her tone softened and her words warbled. She let out a long strained breath of air, then smiled a little at him, her eyes shining with liquid.

"I want to help you find…" she paused with confoundment, and made an adorable scrunched up face. "…Alexis. I am sure with your tenacity you could find her all on your own. But perhaps I can help you make it a little easier?"

"You have an idea?" He sounded sensible. He sounded calm. He wasn't.

She shook her head, bit her lip and wrinkled her small nose. "No, but I think I have access to technology you obviously haven't discovered. But you'll have to trust me."

"This Thundercracker trusts you."

She blushed at that, smiled the widest he'd seen yet. He began to tremble. His vision became spotty and his tank did a curious flip that radiated down to his pediforms.

"I trust you." He forced the words through his mouthpiece, wanting for her to know that. He caught those familiar eyes with his optics, once more losing himself in them. Experiencing this Alexis was ecstasy, was something both painful and illuminating.

He wanted to get closer to her. He wanted to get as far away from her as possible. He wanted to fall on his kneeplates, press against her flesh and run his glossa along….

Slag..

He shook his head, watching the confusion dance over her skin as she watched him ever so very carefully. She saw him, _really_ saw him, fortunately not as clearly as his own Alexis did.

"Perhaps I can help you find Starscream," he suddenly heard himself saying. He didn't want to. A part of him was quite satisfied that they had been separated, and was content to keep it that way. But he couldn't do that to this Alexis. TC wanted to help her. He wanted to take away that despair in her eyes, that expression of someone who had lost more than her share, and was still trying to come to terms with it.

"What?" she asked, entirely astonished.

"Maybe there is something that was missed. _I_ could help _you_." Now that he'd made the offer, he found he was committed.

Alexis' mouth trembled, she gasped and paled, overwhelmed by his offer. "I… I would like that. Thank you."

So polite. So emotional. So Alexis.

His mainframe nearly crashed when for a very clear moment he picked up the female's feelings: of hope, of loneliness, of something else that peaked out for a moment only to be hurriedly covered.

She was staring at him. He couldn't stop looking at her. He didn't know he was reaching out to touch her until something barreled into the room, a large hybrid feline that gave TC a sniff over before settling protectively by her side. Bright orange eyes remained on the Seeker, a long fluffy tail wrapping around the creature's front legs.

"You back, Growl?" she inquired with obvious affection. The female seemed equal parts pleased and contemplative. She turned to the animal, patted his head and rubbed behind his ears.

Despite the multicolored fur, the thing was far too reminiscent of Soundwave's Ravage, a deadly, capable war machine.

He should have been concerned. But then he saw visions of this Alexis in action, understood that what he saw was definitely not all that she was. She could be as fierce as she was gentle. Protective and so giving, so very…

His spark quickened further. Alexis gently pulled a necklace chain off Growl, and put it around her own neck. "Anything?" she asked, and it wasn't until the feline dropped his head and pawed once at the floor that TC understood she wasn't talking to him.

She frowned, a momentary flicker of despair broadcasted that caught him and left him gasping. But despite what she was feeling, Alexis smiled at him all over again, indicating for him to follow.

Ten minutes later he found himself in Warp's lab.

* * *

The Warp in this universe was as brilliant as his own. Only this one knew Alexis, was attached and affectionate toward her, was brutally protective.

So yes, Skywarp assisted him, but not without threats and prejudice, and also what he realized was jealousy. There was resentment as well, because of what he did to his best friend, or perhaps all the recent time he had been spending with Alexis.

His head hadn't stopped spinning. And every time she was in his presence he was frantic for Alexis, near crazy from the longing, the desperation turning into a physical throbbing that made his spark poison him with a bitterness that couldn't be consoled, certainly not by this Alexis, especially because it was she that made this universe a cruelty beyond measure.

Especially when there were moments when she almost felt like _his_. He was insane. He was sick. His processor was faulty. Because he knew that she wasn't his. He knew it!

And yet time and time again he had to fight himself from touching her. From capturing her and taking her back to his quarters.

His dreams had started again since his universal travels. They amplified his feelings and longings, boosted by the other Thundercracker's own desires until he gave up recharging all together.

He no longer trusted himself. Not with the temptation before him. Because of her voice, because of her scent, because of the way he would sometimes catch her looking at him, a wisp of something in her gaze warming his circuits and trying to make him forget.

But he was incapable of forgetting. Unwilling to acknowledge whatever this universe was trying to entice from him.

He wanted his Alexis. He would settle for no other.

* * *

"Skywarp has discovered something." Alexis barreled into the garden bay, a place that she herself attended to. She walked through a tall batch of sunflowers, hardly put off that he happened to be in her private sanctuary. How strange that the small space felt like Earth, even burned like it, a fake sun above nurturing the plethora of plants beneath it.

She was excited. He felt it. And cautious, and a little on edge, which, since he told her the truth, seemed to be the norm. He wanted to expel his tank, to order her away. He didn't want this intimacy. Didn't want to feel her like this. The more he saw her, the more she made him suffer. However unintentional, she must have felt that too.

"We've found Alexis' signal."

They'd already given him so much. He now had the ability to leave and move through universes when and how he saw fit. And they had more information on the makers of the Displacer device than he had seen yet. He was still shifting through all the data.

"That's impossible," he lashed out at her. He felt brutish, he had the intense desire to do whatever it took so this Alexis' compassion and niceties _stopped_.

He'd been abrupt and distant for the last couple of days, but Alexis seemed quite accustomed to such behavior. The Thundercracker she knew had been like that when she met him, he knew.

"Well, that is, Warp has figured out where she has been, and he thinks he sees a pattern that…"

" _Been_?" he interrupted her, and this time the force of his voice made her flinch and pale, but she stood her ground.

She shook her head in confusion, not understanding his statement.

He clarified things for her, "She is stuck with Sunstreaker. He took her and buried her in another Alexis." Ironically, not once had he come across Alexis with that Bot. If only Warp had been capable of narrowing the search parameters to when she was near Sunstreaker.

"Not anymore. Her signal must have separated from his some time ago."

"How can you know this?!" he demanded of her, his vocals strained. He didn't understand and he needed to... _now_.

Alexis sat down on a large nearby rock. Her feet were bare, and she unconsciously buried her toes in the cool dirt below her. She frowned at him. "When Starscream went missing, I tried everything. Searched everywhere. And when Warp told me that Soundwave knew how to travel to different universes, he helped me search those too," she said quietly, patiently, an edge to her voice that pained him to hear. "You're very much in love with her, aren't you?" she suddenly asked, her knowing eyes searching out his optics.

"Yes."

"I catch you looking at me," the female confessed. Color lifted on her cheeks. She nervously bit her mouth. She frowned again. "You make me miss Starscream. You make me…"

"Miserable?"

"Yes," she admitted. "Every day, no matter how good a day it is, it always ends up the same, me _without_ him. His children without a father. Mika tells me its time for me to move on. Bee has started to get that hopeful look again, and I admit there are days I just want to give up and forget Starscream." She hugged her chest tight, her gaze drifting to a miniature waterfall before shifting to the small pond beneath it. "Because remembering what we had, what we shared, what we went through… it doesn't even seem real anymore." Her tone took on a frustration that she usually hid. "Only I can't forget him. No matter how much easier it would be. And you, you _constantly_ make me..." her words dropped away, overwhelmed with sadness.

She abruptly stood. Tears were falling out of her eyes, leaving a glimmering trail down her face.

"You're so lucky," she continued to talk to him as she wiped off her face. Alexis offered him a weary smile. "I know you are going to find Alexis. I _feel_ it. I _want_ it. But I have decided from here on out, you will need to work with Warp and Windglider. I wish you the best of luck Thun… TC, and I will always keep you in my prayers. I hope you find her soon."

But what the female didn't know, what was tearing him up and leaving him unsettled, was that he had kept his promise. While she looked for Alexis, he had looked for her Seeker.

The task had become his obsession, a necessary distraction. He knew where her Starscream was. He just didn't know if he could tell her. Hope, any hope, was far better than this truth.


	37. Ascendancy

The bounty hunter Alexis was secretive and didn't seem interested in any form of contact outside her female companions. Starscream tried to get her attention, tried to wear her down with his attention and comments, but the female was unaffected by his presence beyond the obvious irritation.

He could have stayed and persuaded her to do what he decided he wanted, but while that Alexis was intriguing, there was something about her that was peculiar, something he decided he truly had no interest for.

Lust only covered so many flaws.

So here he was in yet another universe, this one the strangest of them all. For when he became conscious the Seeker found that not only was he not himself, but he was a humanoid, or the representation of an organic, the holo-form programmed to reproduce a Vildan.

That and figuring out he was on Renth had internal alarms sound, a warning of danger of sorts that make his skin itch and his remote processor twitch.

There was also the knowledge that he had _no_ knowledge. Not of why he was there, why he was a Vildan, or anything that came before. This Starscream had effectively closed himself off as soon as he found himself 'invaded'. Digging himself so far below the subconscious level that the Supreme Air Commander was left with no idea of what the frag was going on.

The Seeker felt exposed in a way that he supposed was the result of being the lone consciousness. He hadn't been himself in such a while that being just himself was an oddity that puzzled more than relieved.

Whoever this Starscream was, he was formidable, was strong, was someone unlike any of the others he had encountered before, a residual determination flooding through his naturally hot bloodstream, making his hearts beat with impatience.

Staring at his scarlet flesh, he then took in his surroundings.

He wasn't alone. Other Vildan males were chattering around him. They were in what appeared to be some sort of waiting room. He was sitting at a bar, a glass of untouched warm water resting close to his right palm.

A lit data pad was on the counter. Glancing at it closer, he recognized that it was some sort of contract, filled with terms and conditions, and a picture.

Starscream still didn't believe in fate, but these coincidences and chance meetings were starting to seem calculated, almost prearranged.

It wasn't the photo that set him off, not even the internal ping that alerted him to her presence, but a staggering awareness that ripped through his organic body and made his distant Cybertronian body convulse.

 _Alexis_ was here.

* * *

Starscream felt jittery and irregular. And it wasn't until he found he couldn't stay still, his body energy personified, that he realized he was, rather sickenly, nervous.

He'd come so far, searched so long.

And here the female was, probably a room or two away, closer, if the familiar energy emissions were anything to go by. He was embarrassingly excited, working on aroused, and it was only the reminder that he was in an unfamiliar environment with no insight that had him sitting back down at the bar.

He'd found her before Thundercracker. That, he believed, meant something.

Starscream had a lot of time to think during these peculiar travels. And now that he was confronted with the real female, his ponderings became whispers of something he knew, yet something unexplored, a form of greed that had him considering Thundercracker, and dismissing him so easily. He never considered others before himself. He wasn't about to start now.

Not when what he wanted was so close.

Starscream felt as if he'd been granted power beyond measure, a capability beyond compare.

And he'd yet to see her.

* * *

Someone came for him an hour later. He followed the Vildan elder through a long elaborate hallway, stopping at the second to last room. The elder bowed and indicated the door before him, then shut it behind Starscream after he entered.

He smelled her immediately.

Her scent was sharp and striking, causing an image to burn behind his eyelids, his hearts to pump harshly, the smell as provocative as it was thrilling.

The Seeker stumbled when a wave of her energy bombarded his sensors, throwing his Vildan body into a chaos that had him nearly returning to his Cybertronian body from the overloaded sensations.

He took several deep breaths. The Vildans were capable of higher perception than humans. And while the humans had great potential, they had yet to unlock their upgrades.

The room was sparse, was dim. There was a small padded bench waiting for him, a semiopaque cloth barrier separating him from the female.

He sat down. She was too close. He was too near. He needed to back away, needed time to process what he'd forgotten.

Did she know it was him?

Did she even know who _she_ was?

Was his Alexis aware at all inside this other one?

Where the frag was Sunstreaker?

The questions waned as Starscream fell in her thrall, breathlessly waiting for her to speak. If she didn't speak, he would be forced to act. Starscream could only stay still for so long. His barely tampered lust may have been surprising, his lack of patience was not.

"Have you looked over the contract?"

He knew where he was, and what the building served as. A compatibility center that could facilitate coupling. Where the Vildans could go if looking for a companion.

Starscream fought the grin that threatened to form on his mouth at the sound of her voice. Shifted straighter on the bench, involuntarily leaning forward as if to devour her succulent words whole. "I have."

"And you understand what this would mean, if you agree?"

"I do."

This Alexis wanted to get pregnant. And as Vildans didn't believe in artificial insemination, she only had one choice. A consortium. For no matter what the reason, if Vildans became intimate, they also became bound for life.

"I have looked over your," she paused for a moment, her voice filling with what could have been embarrassment. That didn't stop her from speaking, "application. There seems to be a mistake. I was looking for someone who already has at least one comate, who has already…"

"Entered their thezde cycle?"

"Yes."

Starscream saw a faint movement behind the cloth divider as the lights brightened. The female was trying to get a better look at him, he realized.

"I want a contract marriage only," she continued to speak, her tone becoming serious, the embarrassment slipping into practicality. "Another female would be required to help relieve your cycle after I am gone."

"I _have_ had a thezde cycle before," Starscream interrupted her. It didn't feel like a lie. Whatever this Starscream had done, the idea that he had experimented with such a thing was prominent in his mind, a recent, rather curious physical impression that could not be hidden. "…without a female."

"Still… I…"

He cut her off again, somehow gaining great satisfaction when he did so. "Your desire is to become with child. What I do or do not endure after you have achieved this is my concern alone."

Starscream had read through the contract, examined the conditions. She wanted a child. She didn't want a mate. A _Vildan_ child, which meant that her stipulations and requirements were not only abnormal but unprecedented.

For if she conceived, the youngling would be hers and hers alone, to be raised and nurtured by her, whether a female _or_ male. She would take on his family name, but she would not remain with him. Nor would they see each other again. But while he could take another female, she, he somehow knew, would remain committed and alone. Because even a contract marriage was a promise of fidelity to her. What she wanted she wanted badly enough to forsake a possible future with another.

"Why would you want to?"

She caught him there. He planted his hands on his lap. Stared at the fabric barrier. The female didn't know him, didn't know who she was either. Nothing felt right. Intuition and intelligence had him momentarily doubting what he was hearing, smelling and hearing, as he considered the questions that assaulted his warring processor.

He should take her back, let Skywarp examine and help and separate Alexis. That's what he could have done if not for the revelation that what he wanted, he could get right here. Without scheming, without difficulties, without effort or interference. His greed outweighed all common sense. Blaming Sunstreaker for what he did to Alexis made any moral obligation he felt he owed, null.

Surely no Vildan would agree to her abnormal terms, no matter how compatible or beguiling her scent. Family was important to this species, and while they may have segregation aspects to the upbringing of their children, they were also firm on their beliefs of staying together.

"Isn't it enough that I agree to your terms?"

"I already chose someone," she revealed. "But he suddenly… backed out. So, no, agreeing isn't enough. I need to know _why_."

His answer was swift and uncomplicated, "Because I desire to have a thezde cycle with a female, yet I find I do not require long-term companionship."

"And if there is a child?"

"Then I will help you raise it. Within the conditions that we will not personally come into contact."

"Your family may…"

"My family is not the one making the decision here. I am. They will not contact you, nor know of you. This I promise."

"You don't even know if…" she paused, the fabric barrier rustled softly, then was pulled back completely.

This Alexis was wearing Vildan attire, a light airy outfit that was practical yet highly complimentary. The pants seemed to have been cut along the legs, then loosely stitched back together with thick cording, allowing maneuverability and comfort and skin to show. The top was cut down the middle then sewed tightly back together with thinner cord and tighter fabric that drew attention to the rounded flesh that was secured beneath it.

Her hair was pulled up into a long ponytail. She was sweating slightly which made her skin shine, and her green eyes darken, a compressed staff weapon secured to the right of her hip.

They stared at one another. Or more precisely, Starscream watched as she looked him over. Her cheeks rushed with blood, her gaze wandering down him, then back up, then back down, before jerking back up and to the side of his face, no, to his ears, as she made sure not to look him in the eyes.

The female came toward him, and put her wrist below his chin. The invitation was obvious. She wanted him to scent her. The suggestion was bold and highly indecent when directed at a Vildan, but the whole exchange between them had already been atypical. He didn't move. Tried to make a show of being offended because of the species he was supposed to represent, when truly he couldn't have been more spellbound.

Her scent, her voice, her energy that rushed through him and left him famished. Starscream had the obscene vision of falling to his knees before her, begging for the chance to have her, to seed her, to fill her womb, no matter what strange physical maneuvers he'd have to perform.

But her actions also proved how desperate she was, not for him, but for the child he could supposedly give her. The female needed him, even though she didn't know who he was. He wondered what ordeal had brought her to this point of desperation, what life this Alexis had lived that his own Alexis was stuck inside.

Again, he wondered where the slag Sunstreaker was. A trickle of something that could have been a revelation tried to make itself known, but his attention was riveted elsewhere, his body ahum.

She stepped closer; his senses painfully heightened. He drew her wrist to his nose. She was exquisite agony, unrivaled temptation. His tongue involuntarily licked a path along her wrist to the tips of her fingers. She tasted as she smelled: organic, a hint of sweat and blood and something untamed that rushed below with the pulse of her body, thickening as he tasted her. The female withdrew her hand.

"You do indeed stir me. I wouldn't have entered this room otherwise. Do you require me? Or shall I consider these negotiations terminated?"

At that remark all the color washed away from her face. She took a step away from him, her eyes seemed to be everywhere and yet looking nowhere, as she thought about what, he couldn't figure.

Then she stirred herself out of some form of stupor, leaned downed and picked up the data pad that held his already signed contract. She backed away from him, returned to the curtain of cloth, pulled it back in place, and sat back down and if she'd never moved.

"When is your next thezde cycle due?" she quietly asked of him, back to being calm and dispassionate.

"If you make contact with my body, it could be a matter of weeks."

He was attracted to her. This body wanted her. He knew enough about Vildans to understand some of their mating practices. He'd done some research when he'd found out all those many years ago that the female had taken one as a mate. Starscream had wanted to use the information as another instrument in antagonizing the then ever so distraught Thundercracker, only for TC to…

His thoughts halted when he realized how silent it had become. He sat there and watched the faint silhouette of the female through the curtain that barely moved.

She came back to the side of his room several agonizing minutes later.

"I'd like to see you first before I make my decision."

He cut back the instinct to smile. Instead he narrowed his eyes at her. Her gaze still didn't meet his, making him feel far too restless. "You have _already_ inspected me."

"Yes. With your clothes on." She jerked her head to the side of her shoulder, her attention going to the wall. She wasn't embarrassed, but seemed very determined. The inference of her words was clear.

He felt unnaturally hot and his blood flowed where he couldn't afford it to, not if he was to disrobe. Not if he was to maintain the illusion of a stoic, unaffected Vildan. How Alexis could have wanted a species that only mated twice a year was something he never, ever understood. Perhaps the female herself didn't have an appetite for physical pleasures. Or just hadn't had the right partner.

"This is… _unusual_ ," he carefully uttered. As if everything that had happened between them so far hadn't been so already.

"Do you refuse?"

There was something agonizing in her voice that enticed him. Starscream roughly swallowed, those two hearts of his gladly hugging his ribcage.

The female _wanted_ him to refuse. She _didn't_ want to look at him. She wanted to frighten him away, despite how urgent she was to make use of him.

"I do not."

He stood to his feet and began to unwork all the many buttons on his jerkin, then the ones on his shirt until he could remove it. She watched him silently. Starscream expected her to stop him when he reached for his pants, and then his undergarments, but she didn't, nor did her attention falter from his body.

He bared himself to her, proudly standing before her, waiting with anticipation for whatever she commanded next.


	38. Glean

If Alexis starting naming the universes she visited, this one she was in now would be called "Informative." She meshed with this Alexis well. The other gave her room and time and ideas, and a sympathy of understanding that really, with how she was taking over her life, was far beyond what she deserved.

She'd been here for two weeks. Busy weeks. Between managing the other's responsibilities and researching at night, she should have been exhausted. But Alexis was revived. Encouraged. Entirely focused on finding and figuring out and trying to understand exactly what was happening to her, and how to fix it.

This Alexis was a responsible person, a happy individual who, when she did anything, she put her all into it, including the tasks given to her by her adoptive father, Optimus Prime. She was one of seven other children that he had adopted and raised, and while she respected and admired him beyond others, he didn't fill the hole in her heart that her family left behind when she lost them through a tragic incident in her childhood.

This Alexis was also accustomed to routines and order. She needed to be in order to be as good as she was at what she did, which included organizing the groups involved in the biannual peace summits. Decepticons and Autobots had reached an understanding after they needed to work together in order to save their homeworld. An effort that ended in tragedy and loss, but also the preface to a unification after the unexpected courageous sacrifice of Megatron, who ended up saving so many lives, including his brother Optimus Prime.

Twenty years had passed since then. This Alexis had traveled to Earth and Cybertron II countless times. And yet her home was not a place, but a person. A person that barely tolerated her, hardly cared for her unless needing something. Not that this Alexis ever saw that. Her one major fault was the hope for something that would never be, with an individual that said such terrible things, acted even worse. Because of him, this Alexis couldn't see the far better options toward happiness and love that were nearby her. And while she was attracted to others, nothing ever came from it, her opportunities taken away because she couldn't let go of a chance, _any_ chance, any acknowledgment.

It was the other's main fault that made Alexis nervous and very cautious, the seriousness of her very much one-sided-love a potential for unseen dangers. Optimus had warned her as a child, cautioned her as a teenager, and as an adult he gave her the freedom of her own choice that had come with advice that truly, she should have taken more to heart.

This Starscream may not have been evil, but he wasn't good either. Not from the memories Alexis saw, not from the echoes of conversations she heard.

* * *

The civilization behind the universal device she had seen was one whose name had long been forgotten. They were more myth than history, more a cautionary tale then any form of good news. Right now she was tracking whatever rumors she could find about where the species had traveled. She was reminded once more of how advanced the technology and knowledge was in this universe, when instead of giving her that information, the terminal she was using gave her the coordinates to their long abandoned homeworld.

That felt far too easy. Which of course it was. The planet was long abandoned, which had her browsing through the supplemental information that had her finally seeing something useful. Every known species in this universe had been cataloged and recorded, their energy signatures stored. Searching for this species energy signature revealed nothing. Searching for variations though, accounting for the time that had passed, and the possible changes that came as a lifeform adapted and grew, gave her some spotty isolated accounts from over the years, which wouldn't have meant anything if not for the fact that most came from what she realized was a nearby moon, the most recent recording from three months ago.

Finding that small clue had her continuing on far into the night, sleep abandoned yet again.

* * *

Alexis was going to be late. Which wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't tired as well. Exhausted really. Her eyes were droopy and her vision was a little blurry, making her find the necessary datapads for the arriving delegation a frustrating effort.

Running, because there was still a small chance to get there on time, she hoped that her escort was ready to depart. She was going to need those precious minutes it would take to travel to the landing coordinates to remind herself of this species customs and expectations.

She had been so focused on trying to help herself that she had disregarded what this Alexis needed to do. She was just a temporary visitor. She would not upset the balance of another counterpart's life, not again.

Slamming into someone when she rounded what was usually an empty corridor, had not been accounted for. The wind was knocked out of her, forcing Alexis to her knees as her vision temporarily darkened.

"I apologize. I…"

At the sound of _that_ voice, Alexis' heart froze. Oxygen stuck in her throat. Her eyes involuntary filled with tears. Of all things, she couldn't believe it happened like _this_. She'd been so intent on staying away from the absent Seekers that she never even considered who else she might run into.

A years worth of subconscious memories flashed behind her eyelids, followed by the real time she'd actually spent with her Airaih. The father of her child, her love, her… Fear gripped her, its source known. She couldn't move. Panic took hold of her, rendering her into a wretched, hopeless creature that really couldn't process him.

Alexis jerked away when Airaih offered his hand, an action that had her coming back to herself. She wildly grabbed to her fallen backpack and took off in a mad dash, unable to stop looking back at _him_.

Moving on with one's life was apparently not the same as letting go.

* * *

The more Alexis found out about her predicament, the more confusing things seemed to get. She still had none of the basic, necessary answers, but she did have coordinates that she planned to make use of… If she could last. If she somehow managed to stay in this universe long enough to. She'd already gotten permission from Optimus to take a break, but there was so much she needed to do first.

She had too many worries, too many concerns, and with the excited announcement of the Seekers' arrival, she found that she had more. Alexis reminded herself that she had nothing to worry about. This Starscream didn't seem to like Alexis, certainly didn't notice her. If she was careful, she could have free rein without seeing him… without seeing _Thundercracker_. A necessary avoidance, because seeing them made her mentally weak and susceptible. An irony since being around them also cleared her mind and centered her. But she still felt guilty for her actions from before. Non interference was for the best.

Alexis still researched all she could at night, which was starting to pay a toll on her physically, her focus not allowing for necessary meals and rest. Her priorities were no longer the same. She could sleep when she got home. She would eat when…

"Do you never rest, child?"

Her back stiffened. His way of addressing her was condescending and a not so subtle reminder of how he saw Alexis. She suddenly saw a memory of when this Alexis fearlessly told him how she felt about him. She'd loved him since a child, but it wasn't until she was seventeen that she felt a maturity of truth from circumstances, from her time among so many species and so many worlds that she felt the need to tell him all, or she felt like she'd drown.

He had laughed at her. But that wasn't the worst of it. Nor was the worst that she had awkwardly confessed in front of his Trinemates, one who seemed shocked, the other humored.

"You're a human," he had actually reprimanded her. "Far too young and sentimental. Small. Trivial. _Simple_." He looked down at her, cringing as if she'd insulted him, insulted all his kind. "You will never have anything that will remotely entice me, _child_."

That should have been the end of it. She'd suffered so terribly after his cruel, humiliating rejection. And for the second time in her life, she'd never felt more alone. But this Alexis had been taught to never give up on something you believed in, a lesson she warped into something damaging.

The memory faded away. Alexis turned around in her chair. The research department was empty except for a pair working in the far back corner. Like most Starscreams this once was impressive, regal, that usual air of superiority highly pronounced, yet still insulting.

She didn't answer him. Her skin was prickling, a reminder of her lost link to Thundercracker. She cringed, madly tried to think of a way out and away from him. Alexis didn't want to be noticed by him, not by her energy signature, not at all. She calmed herself. Hoping and praying that he couldn't feel her like she could him.

"Why are you doing research on multi-verses?"

That intrusive question had her acting immediately. Alexis stood up, tried to calmly close the programs she had been using and shut down the terminal. The holo-screen dimmed. She didn't know why he was suddenly showing interest in Alexis, but she didn't want any of it. She left the room without offering him a word, and incidentally ended up getting a peaceful night's sleep for the first time in weeks.

* * *

Starscream was back two days later. This time Alexis felt him before she heard him. She desperately tried to will herself not to be felt by him, which was a ridiculous effort on yet another thing she didn't fully understand.

He brought her food. Food that this Alexis happened to be allergic to. Food that meant he wanted something from her, obviously.

This time she spoke to him first, "What do you want?"

He had the gall to look offended. As if giving Alexis things and paying attention to her wasn't his well-documented way of trying to get something from her. Truly, the other Alexis would have done _anything_ if he'd just said hello properly.

"What makes you think I require something?"

She had to watch her pronouns, catching herself just in time.

" _I_ have known you for more than twenty years. You've never, not _once_ brought me food." She left off the fact that if she ate what he'd brought that her throat would have swelled and she might have died. His lack of knowing hurt. Only Alexis knew it wasn't her but the other, who hadn't remained totally buried under her consciousness. This time she wasn't being influenced by the other, but assisted.

She must have made a face at him, because he was suddenly looking at her, _really_ looking at her. Alexis should have blushed and looked away, as would have been normal for the other. Instead, she looked right back at him, staring at him as he stared at her.

"You didn't greet me upon my arrival."

Alexis burst out into a small huff of laughter at that. So that was what it was all about. He might not have liked Alexis, but her attention was something he obviously expected. This aspect of the Seeker, she actually understood. She felt relief. She felt a little calmer.

"I've been busy," she told him succinctly.

His mouth was hanging open, a dumbfounded expression growing on his sleek face, his wings twitching.

"I'm busy _now_ ," she not so subtly informed him as she turned back to the terminal and continued to read what was on the screen.

"TC and Warp have been asking about you. Seems they don't know what to make of your lack of presence," he continued to address her, ignoring her attempt at ignoring him.

Alexis sighed. This Alexis would have been waiting hours before the Seekers' arrival, would have used every spare moment to spend time with them. Whether to help Warp with one of his experiments, or TC with documenting his planetary evaluations, she would have been there.

No longer.

Perhaps she shouldn't interfere, but she also wouldn't rub this a-hole of a Seeker's ego. It was beyond her reasoning to even consider such a prospect. She had more than enough going on. She would be these Alexises as much as possible, but she would not go against her own principles nor self worth.

To the pit with him. She just wanted to go home.

See her son. See her own Thundercracker, not a freakin' dim copy that still managed to affect her.

"I'm _very_ busy right now," she emphasized. Not that he cared, not that he even made an effort to leave her alone. He just sat down at a nearby worktable, her statement not mattering at all. "I'll be able to see more of them next time," she added, because that was the truth. Because this Alexis was nudging her, wanting her to be what she believed was reasonable.

So fine. She could do reasonable. She owed the other Alexis at least that for being so helpful. She even managed to smile up at Starscream, as if everything was as it should be, and nothing had to change. Grating really, but it wasn't as if this was her life, just a momentary outlook.

She continued with her work, this time research into a species that wanted to join their League of Unified Planets. This Alexis had so many responsibilities, so many important tasks, all the little but necessary things that needed to be done in preparation for meetings that could be galaxy altering.

The Seeker sat there for a long hour, out of stubbornness, out of what may have been shocked resentment. She didn't say anything further to him. And when he left, she hardly noticed except that her skin stopped humming.

She didn't get much sleep that night.

* * *

She avoided Starscream by creating a remote-link from the research center to her private workstation. It was harder to avoid him during the day though, as he was working on the same project that she was, something while common was really starting to annoy her.

Just a couple more weeks though, and she could leave. As soon as the upcoming summit was over, she was free to do what she wanted. If she could somehow remain that long. She continually prayed that she was able to, beseeching her God to give her at least that opportunity.

She needed answers to the questions that only grew. But she would settle for illumination. The malice Sunstreaker had shown her, the cruelty, the damage he'd done. He'd made her forget who she was, made her very identity something she had to fight for.

She hated him. She pitied him.

She hoped he was suffering like she was.

* * *

"You are... _Ah'lexas_?"

It had already been a long day. She was so tired. Alexis didn't even think she could do any further research. Not for herself, not for anyone. But she needed to pick up her stuff first. Being human really sucked sometimes. Or perhaps just being weak. She really wanted to ignore this person. So wanted to tell him to leave her alone, to go away. But he was standing in front of the entryway that led to her workstation, and she really needed her datapad.

If only she hadn't been so tired, she would have noticed so much sooner that it was a Vildan that was waiting for her, one that wasn't alone.

"My brother and I have been told that you have the information regarding the Senrc sector."

She didn't recognize this person, but knew he must have been the other brother Airaih had talked about whom she had never met. Not that she looked at him for long. Her eyes drifted away from him and slowly lifted up, locking with Airaih's.

Her heart jump-started inside her tight chest. Her head spun and her flesh went cold. Alexis didn't believe in fate, or destiny. In fact, she despised the thought of everything being preplanned and figured out. But coincidences, she was seeing how common they were, every universe showing her the high probability of particular paths crossing.

She shouldn't have looked at him, certainly not like she probably was. His ears tinted purple under her fierce scrutiny, his eyes widening as his breath hitched under her gaze. He was devastating. He was far too familiar. From the natural body etches along his flesh, those arresting yellow eyes that made her emotions swell and her blood pop. She wanted to say such things to him so terribly that she had to bite the inside of her cheek, hints of copper lining her tongue. But at least this time she didn't feel like bursting into tears.

He wasn't her Airaih.

He was breathing. He was _alive_.

She could and _would_ deal with this. Because her Airaih was… Even now it was difficult to comprehend. They'd only shared a short moment in her life, and still, after all these years, he haunted her. But it wasn't as if normal for one to come in to contact with lost loved ones, even if a reproduction. And certainly not over and _over_ again.

This universal traveling was the path to insanity. Also a reason to doubt, and to question herself and her past as the realness of _him_ continued to stand there and observe her. Alexis forced those thoughts back, refusing to acknowledge this representation of reality. She bitterly reminded herself that her Airaih was _dead_. She was determined to get back to Thundercracker. To her life with her son. Too much time had already gone by. She constantly worried about what was happening in her absence, especially in regards to Aaron.

"I… I'm so sorry," Alexis blurted out, once more feeling strange and uncomfortable and working on that panic that made her want to do an about face and run… again. "I didn't mean to stare. I know that isn't…"

She shut up. If he was here among so many other species, he certainly had to look them in the eye… Females as well… Right? And it's not like he thought that meant they wanted to mate him.

"Give me a moment."

Alexis went inside her private workstation and downloaded the requested information, and gave it to Airaih's brother. It wasn't until she watched the elegant pair walk away that she realized she could have easily transmitted the data to the brothers without them coming to her.

She locked herself in her quarters after that. Thinking of new ways to avoid what seemed to be the inevitable.


	39. Systematic

Complications were an expected feature for anyone that was alive. And while complications were something that TC excelled at handling, universal ones were a whole new level of difficult.

Even with his fledgling ability to move through the universes as he saw fit, he still couldn't track Alexis. Where she had been, yes, where she was going, not even close.

The Seeker was relieved that she had gotten away from Sunstreaker, that he couldn't deny. And yet he still felt overwhelmed. Which wasn't something worth experiencing outside how he felt when he was near and with Alexis.

 _His_ Alexis. Perhaps even that other one that still made his systems involuntarily cringe when he thought about her. Skywarp would be the one to inform her about Starscream, the Seeker having known of the tragic circumstances but unwilling to divulge the information to Alexis as he'd been trying to find a fix.

Her Starscream had been transported to the future by Soundwave. Something that didn't ail Warp as much as it should have. Perhaps because he'd meet up with him again eventually. But that Alexis would never see Starscream again, not with her short life span. And while Starscream would get the opportunity to see his children, TC knew that Starscream, any Starscream, by then, would not be the same.

"Where's our aerial support?" a male voice broke out on his comlink, the desperation of tone making TC aware of the new universe for the first time. He was traveling over what looked to be Missouri, the flat terrain marred with old and new signs of battle, hints of metal sticking out in sharp contrasting patches, a deformity that echoed of something sinister, and familiar.

He knew who this Thundercracker was, knew what he'd been up to and why he wasn't where he was supposed to be. Changing course, he headed to the already tracked life signals, bringing his weapon systems on-line.

The group below him was being attacked by drones, the lifeless robots larger than Cybertronians, the bulky destructive figures dispersing the diverse convoy. The Seeker opened fire as soon as he was in range.

Thundercracker got rid of three. Those on the ground got rid of the last two. But more drones were on the way, larger, more capable ones, visions of mass destruction and deaths filtering through the back of his processor.

Earth was a war zone.

The Lord of Chaos was waking, his long prone and buried form slowly digging its way out of the planet. At first the humans had tried to work with Optimus and his team to find an answer. But conflict between the military forces and the well-meaning Autobot leader led to what could have been avoidable mass destruction and deaths, then damaging disinformation which tore humans and Cybertronians apart at a time when they needed to advance together.

Few humans trusted in the Cybertronians now, even less supported Prime since he had disappeared and supposedly abandoned Earth. The rumors on that subject another example of the vicious damaging capability of unfounded rumors. How quickly the humans forgot about how Prime and his group had saved their planet, not once apparently, but three times. How quickly they lost faith.

Dealing with the prejudice of an entire species made their mission a fight to survive both the destruction of the planet and the humans that had branded anything extraterrestrial a threat to mankind. The humans that dared to work with Cybertronians were marked as a traitor, their lives forfeit if discovered.

The Cons and Bots may have been working together, but there were so many Decepticons that stayed with Megatron, who not only wanted the Chaos Bringer to wake, but assisted the Planet Eater in his revival.

Conflict at every turn. Death around every corner.

And here this Thundercracker was, but not for the reasons the group he had joined believed. His goals were clear. The misguided force of his motivation making TC want to wretch.

He followed the small convoy from above, landing when Prowl activated the security field that would protect them all, for one night anyway.

The family that they had just saved were no less frightened then they have been before they were rescued from the drones. They watched the humans with suspicion, the Cybertronians with terror, their small curious child forced to stay huddled between them.

The group TC found himself with this time was made up of five humans, two Bots, and two Cons. Three Cons if one counted the one hidden as a human. The team was small, as most of the fighting cells were, spread out and separated from one another for security and tactical purposes.

Bumblebee was this group's leader, Prowl his second. Thundercracker, the tactician and aerial support, Knock Out the medic. The humans were made up of an ex-military officer, two friends and a pair of siblings.

Right now their job was to clear the state of the humans that refused to leave. The area may have been forfeit with what was coming, but the lives were salvageable.

Irony that saving the humans was a more arduous task than fighting the invading and unending forces of the Chaos Bringer.

But this Thundercracker wasn't here to save lives, nor to stop the destruction of Earth. All of that was inconsequential. Earth could burn, the humans could perish, the promises offered by Megatron fueling his self interest toward something much more vital than a singular, meaningless planet.

This Thundercracker had been with "Team Bee" for over six months now. Months that he used to manipulate the small group in order to achieve his end goal. Bumblebee had something that Megatron wanted, something that the Autobot was doomed to lead him to, eventually.

Which is probably why his surveillance equipment activated as soon as he landed, his optics covered with a hidden layer of visual relays that showed him everything that went on with the Bot.

He watched as Bee made sure everyone was okay, then drifted away behind a patch of bushes and trees to where a female was cleaning and patching up a long but superficial cut along her right leg.

"You weren't supposed to get injured," Bee addressed the small female, who finished applying the protective patch to the cut before turning to face the Autobot.

She bit her mouth, gave her shoulders a small shrug as she pulled her pants back down over her leg. "Would have been worse if Cade didn't step in. I'll be fine."

"I don't like it when you're damaged. You take too many risks." Bumblebee spoke softly with discomfort, an edge to his words turning the concern into something highly reveling. "There are other ways to…"

The female interrupted him, "No, Bee. I stay with Josh... with _you_. Where I am useful."

"I won't watch you die."

"And I won't watch others die," the female spoke firmly but softly, adjusting her body so that she leaned comfortably against the Bot's nearby ped. She craned her neck and looked up, offered him a smile that made the tension immediately drift out of the Autobot's stiff body, his servo bending so that his fingers lightly touched her arm.

She leaned into his touch. Didn't take her eyes off him that seemed to fill with mischief. "And if we are going to talk about those that take too many risks, perhaps we should address exactly what you do _every_ single day."

"It's my duty."

"It's _everything_ for those whose lives you save."

"Humans that wish us gone, and worse for you because you're with us." He spoke bitterly, unable to hide the evident anguish.

"Humans that one day will know the truth. That Megatron has…"

The Autobot shifted away from the female, only to settle closer as he sat beside her, his arms hugging his chassis. "We were hidden for so long, to be _forced_ to hide though, is so much different."

"I know."

"You shouldn't be here," Bumblebee spoke with sudden desperation. "I…"

"Bee…"

"If something happens to you, a drone, by a human, I don't think that…"

Bumblebee's words were cut off when the female leaned forward, her small lips connecting with his nearby digit. The Autobot went stiff all over again, his optics dimming completely as if he'd just been put in stasis lock.

"Life means eventual death," Alexis said as soon as she pulled away. Her white flesh flushed, her eyes stuck on the Bot's wild optics. "I'm not afraid of dying, Bee." She shook her head, gave him a weary smile. "And I don't want you to fear for me either. You have so many more important things to…"

" _You_ are important." The Bot came out of his self induced stupor. His optics infusing with color and brilliant light.

The female smiled wide. Her face radiated with what could have been happiness. "And you are important to me," she effortlessly answered.

"I can't imagine functioning without you," the Autobot spoke hastily, his features turning dark and unreadable, his expression now gloomy. He pressed his mouthpiece tightly together, shook his head, then offered the female a soft smile as he shifted gears away from the subject. "I… I have something for you."

The female moved into a straighter sitting position, watching him carefully. The Bot stood up, walked away and returned quickly, a small bundle in his hand.

He placed the package at her feet, indicating for her to unwrap it. She unfolded what looked like a patch of a parachute away from the items, revealing a small box with more small boxes within.

She gave him a curious glance before taking out the first box that he pointed toward, revealing a small chained necklace that held a cross pendant. She began to tear up immediately, moved by the small piece of jewelry that she held in her hand.

Bee rubbed the back of his neck. "I know it's nothing like the one that was lost, but I…"

"It's.. It's… Wow, thank you."

The Autobot beamed wide. "I made sure to make the clasp extra secure," he told her as she pulled out a larger box, and gently lifted up the lid. This time it held something that TC couldn't identify. Something organic, perhaps…

"Cake?"

The Bot frowned, embarrassed by the mess he saw. "Well it was this morning. I, that is.." He reached for the smashed desert, but she pulled backward, avoiding his grab. She pulled out the included spoon, dipped into the crumbly mess and took a large, brave bite.

"Chocolate," she sighed not long after, taking another large bite and another, leaving a layer of the chocolate on the side of her mouth. "I haven't tasted chocolate, since, I can't even recall when."

"You like it? I can set it on fire for you, if you like, as is required in order to…"

The female laughed. "I love it. But where did you find the ingredients to make this? I mean, I know you are resourceful, but flour alone, and sugar, that couldn't have been easy."

"It wasn't difficult at all," the Bot happily told her, so eager to please. He nodded downward. "Open the last one."

A weapon was in the last box, a specially customized gun that Alexis handled with wonder as the Bot explained all its features. The female listened patiently, a smile growing as Bumblebee spoke.

"I love it," she spoke up when he was through. "All of this, Bee. I feel like I should give you something too. You are so thoughtful, so amazing."

The Bot melted under her praise. His doors twitched behind his shoulders as he spoke quickly, "Happy Birthing day, Alexis."

"Birth…? I…" she started to laugh all over again. "So that is what this is all about, and explains why you wanted to set the cake on fire. I thought, well..." She blushed. "I don't really know what I thought." She crinkled her nose. "You _have_ said stranger things before. Are you sure today is my birthday?"

"As of 3am this morning," he let her know, entirely oblivious to the manner in which he was observing her. His optics were entirely unguarded, his expression soft and telling and filled with hopeful longing.

"I forgot."

"Birthing days are important to you humans. And as it is the day _you_ came into existence. I would never be able to forget."

The female bit on her mouth as she looked up at him with complete concentration. She put the necklace on, carefully covered the cake and pushed it to the side.

"I love you too, you know," she whispered. "I mean that is what you were saying when you said I was important, right?" She glanced up at him, offering him an opportunity to say something, only to continue on her own. "I couldn't imagine what my life would have been like if my brother and I never…" she playfully smiled, "crashed into you."

"You... you _love_ me?" Bumblebee spoke, his vocals low in shock. He began to fidget, twisting his digits together, and then straightening them out. The female motioned for him to sit back down beside her, which he did with a vibrating thump. "I mean, I never really thought that… Slag, Alexis. If you knew how much I have been thinking, but didn't dare to tell you.. I just.." He shook his head violently. "The timing is all wrong. I am not… that is… I already have put you in so much danger, and…" He shut himself up when the female placed her hand above his much larger one.

"You didn't have to tell me for me to know," she whispered with an air of maturity. "The less obvious you tried to be, the more obvious it became," she gently teased the Bot. "And there is also the way that…" She shook her head, suddenly serious. "None of that matters. I just don't want us wasting anymore of this valuable time without you knowing how I feel... So now you know, and, well... Good. Okay." She let out a deep breath, covered her eyes and shook her head, sparing the Bot one more glance, but he remained unresponsive. "Okay," she repeated more firmly, the word now marred with tangible finality.

She started to get up. Bumblebee grabbed to her hand, unwilling to let her leave. He tapped her gently, catching her as she fell backward. He flipped over, gently placing the female underneath him as he just stared at her for several very long stretches of moments.

"Do you _also_ know how much I want to _stroke_ you?" He reached out toward her, stopping short despite the determination in his words. The female's eyes widened, her breath hitched. But whatever fears she may have had seemed to be swept away in an instant. She gently bent toward him, making contact with him herself. His wobbly digits went carefully down her body. Bumblebee hovered over where her leg had been damaged, before going to her mouth, lingering on her neck, then lower to her hip where, with the female's help, he gradually removed her weapon and holster. His slow, awkward touch continued, lower and lower until the female was making breathy little sighs that spurred the Autobot to be bolder and more sure, to touch more, taking his time as if this first was to be their last.

Bumblebee talked incessantly. Words of adoration and devotion and promises that could never be kept, not with the danger they were constantly in. His words were gradually laced with human and Cybertronian expletives that evolved with where the female's mouth and hands went, that increased with where she directed his own to go.

Until he couldn't seem to speak at all, his utterances devolving to mumblings and chirps, her name the only decipherable thing coming from his mouthpiece.

The Autobot blocked the female from anyone, from everything, even Thundercracker's own advanced recording equipment. And when the sighs turned into recurring moans, Bumblebee's energy signature fluxing with the female's own found pleasure, TC was forced to watch and hear all.

He felt nothing.

* * *

By his very nature, TC was an extremist. It was of no surprise that that aspect of himself bled into his very emotions. To feel too much, to feel absolutely nothing. He didn't seem to have a gray area, not when it involved the other half of his spark.

Seeing an Alexis and Bumblebee together was nothing new, but not quite like that. But his emotions were now buried so deep that he would not be hurt, would not feel pain. Not anymore. He had never been an emotional one, never designed to be. Logic was his mother, control his father. Emotions were an unnecessary distraction that he would not defer to, his reactive protocols redirected and blocked. After all, his sentiment had been taken away. And until he found her again, there was no need to tolerate such feelings.

There was only one true reality. All the rest were false. The other Alexises were just a ghost of what would never ever be, because of him, because he wouldn't allow it.

Somehow he needed to isolate Sunstreaker's energy signature. But the Warp, who had given him the ability to move through universes at his will, had only been able to do so much for isolating life signatures. The power source required to reenable the scanning of the multi-verse was found to be in this universe, and finding out it happened to be inside the Lord of Chaos would have deterred the sane. But he was far beyond lucid.

If he could find Sunstreaker, he was so sure he could find Alexis, despite that Warp's disbelief. Finding an immobile signal was one thing, finding one that was shifting through the multi-verse thought impossible.

But he'd know soon. He'd find Unicron. He'd take what he needed. And in doing so, not only would he save this universe, but so many others.

For it wasn't just this Earth that was in peril, but _all_ Earths.

He'd save this planet. Not for the humans, not for the warring factions stuck on this dying world. But because in doing so he would be protecting the missing piece of his spark.

TC went over all the data that this Thundercracker had collected. Finding the information he needed. He wasn't going to be able to end Unicron on his own, but he knew how to go about it. Fortunately this Thundercracker's squadron were almost as numbered as his own, if not a little fanatical. But he could certainly make use of that.

Sending an emergency message off to his own Skywarp, he prepared and planned. What he needed to do was going to take time. But, if he was careful, and patient, he would be victorious.

If he went about it right, this would be one of the last universes he would be forced to travel. He would find Sunstreaker, or he would find Alexis.

Either way, this derangement would end.


	40. Stimuli

She didn't choose him. Which was ludicrous considering the ordeal he had gone through to see her. But it seemed this universe's Starscream had several contingencies in place in case of an unsatisfactory decision. It was he that had prevented her first choice from being utilized, and then her second, both Vildans conveniently disappearing.

He still didn't know much about this Starscream. Or the Vildan ship this Seeker had commandeered that allowed him to come and go from Renth unmolested. The space craft he found himself on after disengaging his holo-form was empty and devoid of anything personal except for the occasional encrypted messages from one of the Seeker's operatives **,** which is how he found out about the interference with this Alexis.

She _didn't_ choose him, but she was being left with no other choice, the other Starscream's ongoing manipulation evident and effective. When she contacted him several days later, he was at least more familiar with this Renth, and the people on it, more prepared to see her again.

Resentment and fury bled into his remote processor when he materialized back on the Vildan homeworld, the other Starscream bombarding his head with visions of vengeance and terror and pain. His Vildan body burned, his real body convulsed, dark blood flowed from his holo-form's nose and his eyes as the other tried to shut him down permanently.

He would have succeeded if not for his abeyance device, which swiftly silenced the other before any permanent damage was done. He'd never felt such an attack before. None of the others had been strong enough.

Yes, this Starscream was formidable.

But then again, so was he.

* * *

Even with the abeyance device active, his skin itched and crawled, his spine tingled. The other didn't want him near Alexis, which became even more evident when he got sight of the female sitting at a table outside a small eatery. She was sitting all alone. The only human. Her face was uncovered. Her hair was down, the long tendrils and pale skin a stark contrast to the nearby bald and veiled-faced Vildan femmes.

She was dressed in human fashion, with worn jeans and an even more worn through T-shirt, a coolant device wrapped around her slender wrist. She noticed him as soon as he arrived, didn't wait for him to come to her, but went to him instead, ignoring the quiet stares of the other patrons.

"You are well, Navonh?" she formally greeted him, her eyes not matching the friendliness of her words. She motioned for him to follow her, both walking to the backside of the establishment.

"I am well, yes," he quietly answered her when she stopped walking.

With her so near, he was reminded how small the female really was, how fragile she was compared to a male. The female was anxious, most certainly nervous, even checked twice behind her back to make they were isolated and alone.

"I am also curious as to why you have contacted me, when I was informed that…"

She let out a deep breath of air, silencing his words with her own. "Things have changed since… That is, I am available, are you?" the female informed him without any further ado, as if following the human ritual of asking one out for coffee, not for a space on her bed.

"I thought you already chose another," he carefully replied.

"I did. But they failed to…" She gave him a sidelong glance, bit her lip and silenced herself from saying whatever she had been about to. She frowned, shaking her head. "I know I must seem like some half-crazed human female, an indecisive one at that, but…"

He interrupted her, "I _am_ available. You already have my signed contract. If we are both in agreement, shall we proceed?"

The human pulled out a data pad, looking over the contract he had sent her, only to resend it to him after she signed it herself with a further addition.

"I will meet you at these coordinates in a month's time," she spoke softly, just now getting around to really looking at him. "I suppose I should," she paled, stepped away from him and looked around, only to turn back around. Her face lifted and her eyes met his own, solidifying their agreement. All the air seemed to rush out of his body, the feeling to return to his skin as the other Starscream dimmed in comparison to the presence of the female. But more than eye contact, however stimulating, would be needed to expedite a thezde cycle.

She needed to initiate physical contact. She needed to...

The tiny female pushed him against the wall. She got on the tips of her toes, her hand curling around his left ear as she brought his face down to hers with firm force. She stared into his eyes, long enough for heat to rush to his ears, for his mouth to go dry and his stomach to coil, the coolness of her touch heightened by the warmth of his own body. Her fingers descended on his chest, nimbly undoing the buttons of his loose jacket, then the tinier ones on his shirt, until she pushed the fabric back behind his arms.

Her fingers were on him first, then her mouth and tongue that traced his natural body etches. Her teeth nipped at his skin, her tongue wetly tracing back around her bites, easing the sting of his flesh into something that made his legs wobble, and his lower body stiffen.

She pressed against him, lightly rubbed her lifted thigh against his leg, forcing him to catch and swallow the obscene sound that dared try to betray him for what he wasn't. He hadn't been this close to the female since the time on The Pit, since the training room session that ended with… Starscream's thoughts crashed off when the female took his hand and dragged it under her shirt and along her belly, then below her jeans along her hipbone.

The female abruptly pulled away and stepped back. Dazed, Starscream took a step after, then forced himself not to follow further. His hands clenched at his sides as his hearts rebelled against such unnatural constraint. For the first time, Starscream realized that she was trembling. Her deepened breaths were not coming from desire though, but some necessary wrongdoing that left her an outcast of herself.

"Are… is this… okay?" She stepped back toward him, helped lift his shirt up, and smooth it out and button it up, the gentleness and consideration of her action as thrilling as the boldness of before. He watched in fascination as she finished with the last buttons on his jacket, her pace quickening when the sounds of voices were heard.

What she had just done to him in public wouldn't have just been considered improper, but indecent. And yet there was a part of Starscream that would have liked it very much to have been caught and be seen, to be watched as the female laid claim to him, especially on this forcibly repressed Renth.

It was in the moment that she took another step back only to peer into his eyes that he was reminded once more of why he was here. Alexis' energy emissions came to life as if an explosion of self, her life signature broadcasted and enhanced, crawling along the thickened air only to descend upon his person. He was jolted and throttled by the potency. However buried beneath this other Alexis it was as intense as ever. His flesh vibrated, his brain howled. He was lost in the sensation. Captured and tamed. He would have done…

The moment passed as soon as it started. He opened eyes he didn't know he'd closed, finding the female gone, his Alexis gone with her.

* * *

The weeks passed by too slowly. Starscream felt his Vildan body begin to heat and burn until it was more burning than heat, signaling the beginning of his mating cycle. He hadn't left Renth since his last meeting with the female, enduring all that followed as a Vildan male would have, as he prepared himself for the eventual meeting up with the human female.

He'd been excited before, but now, it was on a level of delirium. As if the Vildans didn't have their senses enhanced enough, now they were obscenely so. Nothing or no one smelled right. He was hot. He was cold. He was numb. He was on fire. He found himself reenacting the last encounter with the female, his own fingers tracing where her touch had been, a wave of nauseous pleasure following his explorations that never attenuated the raw, unrelenting desire.

A desire that was familiar though. Starscream felt as he did after Thundercracker had claimed Alexis. A little sick. Far too aware. And filled with such unfamiliar yearning that he both reviled and resented himself.

His Vildan body couldn't sleep anymore. He was sure he wouldn't have been able to eat either. Even walking had turned into a salacious act upon himself, the heat from his shifting hips giving way to a frantic uncomfortable tensity of bodily parts that he could not ease on his own.

When other females began to sound and smell foul, when his hearts steadied even as his discomfort increased, he knew it was time.

No wonder Vildan males only mated twice a year, it was all they could possibly endure.

* * *

Starscream would have had difficulties finding the small cabin, if he hadn't already mapped the area after she provided the coordinates. A pressure was on his chest. The air was too bitter, and the female too far. He'd waited far too long to start the long journey, not wanting to frighten the human by an early appearance.

If he was any sort of a decent mech, guilt would have been catching up with him right about now. About what he planned, about what he was going to do. But he needed this. He'd been rejected by femmes before. But Alexis had left an impression on him that had yet to fade. Had left him with the need for something that he still couldn't name but wanted to _own_.

And when he got down to it, he had helped her find her parents. Had saved her brother's life. He was a firm believer of being payed what one was owned, even if it was with flesh. And this Alexis was willing to give him her flesh, and skin, access to her very body.

 _This_ Alexis, not the one he knew. The one he knew belonged to TC, not him. But she was only a buried consciousness to this universe's Alexis, one unaware and unresponsive… except for that energy of hers that flowed thick and sure, that made him want this Alexis because of the way her life signature echoed of the one he knew…

And yet, certain things still didn't make sense. Things he couldn't comprehend because he was beyond speculation and precise thinking. But that didn't stop his remote processor from trying to inform him of something yet again. Something important, yet impossible, something that might have changed his course of action if he wasn't so far gone in this precisely programmed Vildan heat.

This female _wanted_ him. He wasn't taking advantage of Alexis. Starscream was going to _free_ her.

* * *

His reasoning was gone. Everything he did now was some foreign instinct that led him to her. He scented her before he saw her, the smell of her flesh inciting his slow steps into a rush of movement that had him racing to the front door.

She was waiting for him. She backed away as he made his way inside, his hand finding her hand, holding on tight as he took greedy gulps of her air. He kicked his foot back, shutting the door, bringing the female with him as he secured the lock.

He had to feel her. He couldn't let her go, a gnawing sensation beyond the Vildan heat making him hold on to her. There was a large bed behind them, two smaller ones placed with purpose beside it.

The female was lax before him, her eyes watching him curiously, no signs of fear or apprehension. She smelled sweet, too sweet, her mouth lightly stained with a preparatory liquid tonic. She made an effort of moving away from him, but he held firm, his grip only loosening when she sat back on the bed. With him unwilling to let go, she didn't have an easy time of dragging him onto the bed, but the female managed. He removed his clothes without even thinking, and it wasn't until she was on her back, him above her, that he released his hold on her in order for his hand to skim up her inner thigh, brushing past the thin fabric of the slip she wore.

The small female flinched, and took his hand away. She shook her head.

"No… I'm ready," she said in a faint whisper, already preparing for his intrusion. He expected more. He'd wanted more. The human videos he'd seen, the humans he'd had the misfortune of watching, all had far more activity that led up to…

His world went white when she shifted and he slipped inwards, his body slowly pressing into hers. She was more than he could process. The binding of her body, the heaviness of his own, the way her breath became his, her white flesh turning pink from the heat of his body. She breathed uneasily, her eyes tightly shut, her hands fisted around a pillow and a nearby sheet.

And that was when Starscream understood that nagging truth at the most inopportune time. He now knew with her so close, and him inside her, her blinding energy rushing through and beyond him that this _wasn't_ Alexis, not his, not anymore.

But at one time she had been.

Those thoughts were lost in the abyss of his far too accelerated mind when he moved his hips for the first time, felt her breath shatter against his earlobe.

* * *

The next two days passed as if a drug-induced blur. He was highly motivated to remain with the female, his body covering and filling hers often. She was pliant. She was soft and so very giving. She was everything he'd always wanted from her, and yet not what he needed.

She didn't allow him to touch her more than necessary. And while he remained unhindered by clothing, the human remained covered at all times, never revealing herself. She was so silent, her eyes tightly shut, her hands as unmoving as her body. Except for the rare moments when the human lightly touched his hip or lower back as if to remind him of his duty, which would send his body into a rocking frenzy from the maelstrom that flooded his veins.

Starscream was so easily guided by her. His response to her meager touches embarrassing and traumatic. He had never allowed a female to use him up like this, over and _over_ again. Never been the only participant either as he over extended himself, far too lost as it was despite the noninvolvement on her part that left him weakened by the hope of _more._

She _was_ a female human, not a Vildan one. And yet her knowledge of this culture meant that she had been on Renth for some time. Her familiarity with his body a further reveal that she had laid with a male of this species before.

But it was Alexis' energy that tied him to this female, despite whom she wasn't or what she'd done. The residual life signature taking him captive and rendering him rather senseless.

When she rested, his processor rebooted, his thoughts racing all over again. Alexis had gotten away from Sunstreaker, but how? All this time he'd been searching within faulty parameters, so much time wasted, everything he'd thought invalid.

He should have forced his questions upon this female who wanted his genetic material, demanded answers. But Starscream was a master at maintaining lies, especially when the truth was something he wasn't motivated to uncover. Not about what was _really_ going on, not even about this universe's Starscream, who was capable, _threatening_ , made him leery from the internal violence he caused, suspicious of the sudden silence.

But nothing would dissuade Starscream.

He would deceive her. He would deceive himself. He'd let the female use him all up, and he'd take from her what he could.

Let things finish where they may. He'd not be the one to end this.


End file.
